Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn.
Afraid to Love You
Chapter Twelve: I Want You
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Gokudera was stunned how his Juudaime suddenly pulled close that man. He was shocked, they were shocked. He was as speechless as Yamamoto but the Baseball freak had regain back his composure and was now, but of course, smiling yet again. It didn't seem to affect the Rain guardian too much which was not a surprise, nothing seems to affect the Baseball freak not when things actually get serious. Earlier on Gokudera had heard some strange rumors about the Decimo and that man but with explanation it was proved false. Although, with what the silver-haired guardian saw moments ago? He was not so sure anymore.
Gokudera though didn't want to think of anything else though he had to admit his mind was actually creating unnecessary thoughts about last night. He refused to acknowledge anything that didn't come from the Tenth himself. Indeed they were hugging, which was weird because men don't usually hug like that and if ever they do hug, it would only take a few seconds. But this was the Vongola Tenth they were talking about and he was especially close to his friends no matter what.
The brunette had a gentle nature, anyone could see that, and furthermore Gokudera always thought of the Vongola Decimo as someone innocent. True that he was older but he had maintained that sense of purity even with the continued pressure and urge of the mafia world to be someone or something else. The embrace was probably nothing more than to comfort the Cloud guardian and he was sure that there was a good reason for his precious Tenth's actions. Gokudera wanted to follow the brunette earlier when he had run up to that blasted Cloud guardian. The Storm guardian feared that Hibari Kyouya may hurt the young Vongola and as a loyal right-hand man and moreover friend, he can't let that happen. But alas, the Rain had stopped him from doing so. He asked why but the Rain merely shook head and said.
"Let them be… Tsuna knows what he's doing." And Gokudera didn't pursue what he thought of doing earlier. Gokudera thought that it might be because of what Yamamoto had said earlier or because he had also felt that Hibari Kyouya wouldn't do anything to the Tenth. The Storm guardian had sensed somewhat a change in the Cloud guardian's nature. He couldn't explain it entirely but he seemed a little serene whenever the Decimo was near him. Earlier on when they were inside with the under bosses, the Cloud was trying so desperately not to snap or do anything that might shame the Decimo's name in front of the Ninth and the under bosses. Gokudera couldn't help but think that the Decimo might have done something to gain that kind of respect from Hibari Kyouya. If it was it then, Gokudera felt happy for the Tenth. Hibari Kyouya was a hard person to get along with after all.
Gokudera sighed, putting a hand inside his pocket, watching the two from a far. He shifted his gaze elsewhere, he had feeling that they needed privacy. The silver-haired guardian found himself looking at the Rain guardian who eyed him back with a knowing smile. Suddenly felt like talking to him about something.
"Lucky bastard, don't you think?" Gokudera said.
"Lucky?" Yamamoto questioned back.
"Lucky because he gets special treatment from Juudaime."
"Oh! You mean the hug?" Yamamoto laughed. "Well if you put it that way… guess he is. Not everyone gets to hug him after all!"
"Damn right, something rare that it's almost an honor to be embraced by a member of the Vongola bloodline."
"Tsuna seems like a prince now." The Rain guardian grinned.
"I'd say a princess… Kufufufu~" Yamamoto and Gokudera eyed the Mist guardian and found themselves surprised to see him hugging a blushing Chrome. Gokudera had look of disbelief and wonder all over his face while Yamamoto pretty much was amused to see them.
"Why… the hell are you two hugging?" The Storm guardian asked with an eyebrow raised.
"Well since they," Mukuro pointed at Tsuna and Hibari. "Seem to be having so much fun hugging each other… we got jealous. My precious Chrome wanted it so I hugged her." Mukuro beamed at the Storm guardian. Chrome giggled then snuggled to him even more. The Illusionist didn't seem to mind and in fact held Chrome how she wanted to be held. "You seem to be rather envious of the act too but you have Rain-kun to hug you. Kufufufu~" The Mist guardian said, a cheeky grin on his face. Gokudera's mouth gapped, a slight blush threatening to appear on his cheeks. What the hell was this idiot saying? He wanted to be hugged? And he had the baseball freak to hug him? 'The fuck?'
Unbeknownst to Gokudera, someone already had that in mind. All he needed was a little push and the Mist guardian had executed it with style. The grin on Yamamoto's face slowly turned to a slight smirk and not a second more, he pulled the unsuspecting silver-haired male into a deadlock embrace. The poor unfortunate silver-haired Italian couldn't do anything but remain silent, his emerald green orbs widened as everything began to sink in. He couldn't move. His body seemed to have gone numb at some point. He wondered when was the last time he felt this kind of soothing warmth. There was a presence of peace that almost calmed his troubled nature. His heart beat like drums inside his chest but it was in harmony with the soft beat coming from the Rain guardian's chest. Gokudera was speechless beyond belief. No word or anything came to his mind, it was completely blank.
He suddenly felt something moist touch his neck. Gokudera's mind had gone slow for him to notice what it really was.
"Honestly Gokudera… if you wanted a hug just say so." Yamamoto chuckled softly and made Gokudera immediately snapped from his daze. He knew he was blushing but he didn't care! He needed to get himself free from the Rain guardian's arms. It was hell embarrassing and it made him feel weird. It made him felt like something was going to explode inside his chest and he just couldn't take it!
"Go-Gokudera-kun… Yam-Yamamoto-kun… Are you guys hugging each other too?"
The Storm guardian's eyes widened nearly like the size of plates when he saw Hibari Kyouya and his precious Tenth looking at them weirdly. Hibari Kyouya had a slight smirk spread through his lips while the Vongola Decimo was just shocked to see his guardians embracing one another. Gokudera wanted to swallow up some nitroglycerine because he felt like the biggest embarrassment in the mafia world. The storm guardian gathered all his anger into his hands and pushed Yamamoto away before landing a hard solid fistright across his face.
"Get the fuck away from me!"
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Tsuna sighed once more. It was yet again another tiring day. It was already night as they made their way back home and the atmosphere inside the car was just awful. Hibari didn't join them on their way back. It seems that the Cavalone boss was going straight to the Vongola main to fetch him back to his estate. Reborn had contacted Dino of what had happened earlier on and of course Dino was delighted to know that his former student was not withheld any longer. With this Dino had annoyed Hibari through the phone enough for the Cloud guardian to agree that Dino would escort him back. Hibari preferred that Dino wouldn't bother doing that for multiple reasons but for the sake of shutting up the Bronco, he agreed.
Hibari told Tsuna though that he planned to live with them. He just needed to clear some things first before actually moving in. Tsuna was happy with this since he knew that his relations with the Cloud guardian would eventually become stronger. He would learn a lot of things he never knew about Hibari and somehow probably be a little closer to him too.
Tsuna looked back, eyeing the car behind them. Chrome, Mukuro, and his gang were in that other car. He, Reborn, Yamamoto were to return with Gokudera in his car. Tsuna stole a glance of his Italian friend through the front view mirror. Gokudera was driving and he was silent dead silent. Tsuna noticed that he was ignoring the presence of Yamamoto who sat on the passenger's seat. The Rain guardian was looking out the window, occasionally stroking his swollen cheek. Gokudera really punched him hard and it must have meant he was that pissed off.
The Rain guardian didn't seem to mind the bruise but he seemed to be in pain even if was treated already. Tsuna didn't know how to make them friends again or if they will ever become friends again. Tsuna heard of what happened from Mukuro and apparently Yamamoto embraced the Italian without his consent. Tsuna knew for a fact that Gokudera was not the touchy-feely type but he didn't know why Gokudera was making a big deal out of it. They were all at fault with it somehow. It had been a weird chain reaction but Tsuna felt bad for being the main cause of it. He hugged Hibari first, Mukuro and Chrome followed and somehow Mukuro coaxed Yamamoto into hugging Gokudera. It was strange and a little scary but it was the truth.
Tsuna heaved an exhausted sigh, trying to think of other things like how he would stand before the under bosses next week. Tsuna felt kind of weird that he wasn't that bothered with it. For one, he knew that his friends were innocent and that was good. He just needed to press that fact to them and press it hard. Tsuna didn't care what they say. They may speak ill of him and they may think of him low but he won't forgive them if they do anything more to his friends. And if ever they would pull Cielo into the picture, Tsuna would do the same. He would protect him from their allegations.
As Tsuna peered through the window, he told himself that it was going to be a wonderful night. The sky was not that clouded and you could see the stars from up above. Tsuna then beamed a little as he thought of calling Kyoko today. He wondered what time it was in Japan. He then remembered about the seven hour difference. Tsuna's hopes dropped. So it meant that if it was now 8pm in Italy then in Japan it's was actually 3am in the morning.
'Great.' Tsuna told himself. If he would call Kyoko now, she would either be asleep or she was busy with something that she stayed up because of it. This is the reason Tsuna hated time zones. So many things are sacrificed because of it. A thought then suddenly popped inside Tsuna's head. Should he try to wake up as early as 2am in the morning to call her up? Maybe that way they could actually talk. Tsuna didn't really have the time after that, he had college to take care of, private lessons from Reborn, training, advanced business lessons, Vongola history lessons, and many, many more other things. It really wasn't that easy to be a Boss of a large famiglia. Tsuna was that busy. He wondered how he managed to live like that for the past six years. It really was a miracle because he could remember back in middle school he couldn't even last 30 minutes of studying without practically having a panic attack.
Tsuna missed Kyoko's voice and with everything happening right now in Vongola, she was the person who made everything else brighter for him. She was what Tsuna needed. And so with determination, Tsuna decided that he would do that. He would wake up at 2am in the morning to call Kyoko. If he wasn't mistaken it's Saturday in Japan and by the time Kyoko would receive his call it would be Sunday, 9am in the morning. It would be perfect. He had a lot to tell her and maybe she too had a lot to tell him. Tsuna could imagine it now and he felt excited about it. Tsuna smiled and saw their destination from afar. They were nearing home.
A thought suddenly passed through his mind. He blinked once, twice and thrice.
He needed a lot of alarm clocks for him to wake up that early in the morning.
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Tsuna bid goodnights to everyone, and so did Gokudera, Yamamoto, and the others. Reborn was missing but Tsuna already guessed that he had gone ahead. Mukuro and Chrome, Chikusa and Ken too but he wasn't worried about them. They liked going their own way. Gokudera, after saying goodnight to the brunette, stormed to his room and probably locking it shut. That is what he usually does whenever he is pissed off. And Tsuna actually saw Yamamoto sigh for once. It eventually got Tsuna surprised and asking if there was anything he could do. Yamamoto politely shook his head and returned that brightened smile on his face.
"I can go talk to Gokudera-kun if you want?" Tsuna offered.
"Nah… its fine, Tsuna. It's my fault anyway." He laughed. "I really should have thought first before actually doing anything." Yamamoto placed a hand on the back of his neck. "Man, I'm really such an idiot." He murmured.
"Oh come on, don't say that." Tsuna said. Yamamoto merely grinned at the young Vongola. "Sooner or later he'll be okay and maybe we could find a way to get you two back to being friends!"
"Tsuna… listen," Yamamoto stared at his long time friend. Tsuna could really see that he was affected by it and he was really worried no matter how much he denies it. Yamamoto's expression held up mixed emotions but Tsuna could see regret and determination from them. "If there is one person who should do anything… it should be me. I'll think of something—anything to get our friendship back."
A smile spread through Tsuna's lips, hearing such words from the Rain guardian. "Yamamoto-kun…."
"Thanks for offering to help Tsuna, I appreciate it." Yamamoto beamed. The Rain guardian bid his goodnight to the Decimo once more and so did Tsuna. The brunette was left alone. Thinking that he was left with nothing more to do, they had after all eaten dinner together in the Ninth's manor. Tsuna headed for his room and as he walked there, he was greeted by maids and servants, of course Tsuna greeted back with a smile. As he finally reached his room, he went inside, and closed the door behind him.
He had to do two things, prepare the alarm clocks and then take a shower.
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Tsuna walked out of the bathroom, refreshed. He wore his usual night clothes that composed of a slightly large white dress shirt and loose black slacks. Tsuna used the white towel that drape over his shoulder to dry off his damp hair. The brunette stopped midway and stared at the line of alarm clocks near his bed. He beamed a little and felt a little embarrassed. Tsuna was ashamed that he had to bother one of the maids to help him. Tsuna didn't really have that many alarm clocks after all. He only had two and he rarely uses it because Reborn usually wakes him up—with either a punch or a kick. The maid was kind enough to get him three more and was more than happy to help him set it to his desired time. Of course, the female servant couldn't say no to him but Tsuna didn't really want to bother anyone. It was already late in the evening. One thing bothered Tsuna though. For the first time Reborn didn't make him explain things again. And where was Reborn? Tsuna couldn't help but wonder though he shrugged his curiosity.
Tsuna made sure that his hair was dry enough before he placed the towel on the laundry basket. He sat on the side of the bed and took the antique pocket watch that he left there earlier. He clutched it gently and slowly laid himself to bed. He felt rather excited that he would get to talk to Kyoko later, the line was ready. It always was because Vongola made sure it, for the Decimo. Tsuna yawned, he felt sleepy and he had few more hours before his alleged plan springs into action. So he reached for the lamp near his bed side table and switched it off. He pulled the sheets to cover himself just right. He yawned once more and noticed that he still had the watch in hand. He knew he should place it on the table but he wanted to hold on to it. Tsuna gently opened the old watch and saw the flame on one of its hands lit to life. The feeling of it eased Tsuna, he had no idea why but it did. He stared at it for awhile and decided to close it. Tsuna kept the watch near his chest as slowly surrenders himself to sleep.
The antique pocket watch glowed.
'Forgive me… Tsu-kun.'
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Tsuna jerked awake, hearing the alarms go off. He panicked, making him loose his balance and fell off the side of the bed. The brunette quickly stood up and hastily grabbed one of the alarm clocks switching it off. He did the same with the others but due to his fright he accidentally dropped one in the floor that ultimately landed on his feet. Tsuna yelped in pain, jumping up and down, massaging it to ease the pain he felt. He groaned and took the last one from the floor, turning it off and nearly throwing it to the other side of the room in frustration.
Tsuna panted as he sat on his bed and breathed out a long annoyed sigh. 'What a great way to start your day.' Tsuna thought. He gazed at one of the clocks near the bed. It was now 2:08 in the morning, Tsuna scratched the back of his head and suddenly it occurred to him.
Where was the pocket watch?
Tsuna gasped and searched for the small antique to near end. He had it didn't he? He could remember holding on to it while he suddenly fell asleep. Tsuna nearly flipped his bed searching for it and found it on the floor. He was thankful that it wasn't in anyway damaged otherwise he wouldn't know how to explain things to Cielo. It must have gone along with him when he fell on the floor awhile ago. The brunette then placed it near his lamp. He didn't want to misplace it again, ever. The young Vongola then eyed one of the clocks and quickly grabbed the black cordless phone that would direct him to Kyoko. It was now 2:15. He was wasting time, so much time. Tsuna stood up, opened the door that led him to his room's veranda and walked to the ledge before pressing one of the buttons to connect him. It rang. Tsuna felt his heart flutter as he waited patiently for someone to answer on the other end. He thought about things he would talk to Kyoko about and it made him smile. The Decimo drew his head up and eyed the sky. Tsuna searched for the moon but it seems that the clouds covered its luminous grace. What a pity, it really seemed a beautiful night.
The phone continued to ring on the other end and of course Tsuna patiently waited. After awhile his call would expire but Tsuna meekly pressed redial, hoping that Kyoko would answer it. Things lasted that way for Tsuna but he didn't give up. Tsuna didn't know how many times he pressed redial. 5 times, 8 times, 12 times maybe? But he still had hopes that she would answer it. Kyoko usually would, no matter what but somehow Tsuna thought that, what if she was busy or she was away maybe? But that already happened before and Kyoko didn't fail to answer return his call the moment she got back.
Tsuna smiled ruefully. The Decimo wouldn't admit it to himself but with every press of a button he heart would sink a millimeter down into a pool of nothingness and slowly lose a bit of hope. Tsuna tried to call after a few minutes or so but it was still the same. It rang but no one answered. Tsuna drew the phone down, hearing the machine telling him to redial once more. He sighed, eyeing the keypad for awhile.
"One last time then…." The brunette murmured. And with all the hope and determination he still had left, Tsuna tried to call her again. The Decimo decided that this was the last time. That horrible feeling was starting to eat him up and he didn't like it at all, he hated it. He had to do something else to get that feeling away. Tsuna didn't want to think about it nor did he even want to say the word for it. He bit his lip as he suddenly remembered those nightmares he had the past few days. He shook his head. Useless thoughts were starting to appear inside his head. 'It's not going to happen! It's not going to happen! It's not going to happen! It's not going to happen to Kyoko-chan!' Tsuna repeated inside his mind over and over again. He had to get it away, he had to get that thought away.
"Hello… ?"Tsuna's eyes widened and pressed the phone closer to his ear.
"Kyoko-chan! Ano—I'm so happy to hear from you!" Tsuna felt happy, very happy to hear Kyoko's sweet voice. Tsuna even imagined her smiling face inside his mind. His heart felt so overjoyed. It was beautiful feeling and Tsuna never felt this happy to hear from her. "How are you?" Tsuna asked. There was silence and it took awhile before Kyoko replied to him.
"I'm… I'm fine. Uhm Tsuna—"
"Oh that's good to hear!" Tsuna suddenly cut in. "How are things there in Namimori? How are your parents—Oh I have a lot to tell you! I really, really—"
"Tsuna-kun, listen please."Tsuna was immediately silenced. He felt that something was wrong whether it was his intuition or something, he knew there was something. He wanted to ask and he had to but of course Tsuna didn't want to pry on things. He didn't want to force her into telling him something she didn't want to say… even if he was his girlfriend. So Tsuna remained silent and waited for her to speak. "I'm sorry but I can't talk to you right now…."
"Oh… okay, maybe some other time then?" Tsuna said looking a little hopeful.
"I…" Kyoko paused, she seemed hesitant. "I have to go now. Bye Tsuna-kun."
"Okay Kyoko-chan bye…."
And the line went dead.
Tsuna stood there, unmoving for awhile. His bangs covered his eyes as a sorrowful smile slowly stretched his lips. He bit his lip, lowering the phone from his ear, not bothering to close it anymore. He drew a few steps until his back hit the cold wall. He let himself slide down. The young Decimo drew his head up, his eyes visibly tearing up. Tsuna was trying so desperately to stop the tears from coming down. He didn't want to cry but he was hurting so much that he couldn't stop it. Tsuna was shaking so much. He felt so sad. The brunette felt as though his heart was stabbed by some invisible dagger. He knew he shouldn't feel this way, he knew he should understand Kyoko but he just couldn't help it. He hoped, he hoped so much to talk to her but that didn't happen. Tsuna didn't know what to think, he didn't know if he was being overly paranoid but he could sense that something was wrong. And somehow, he had the inclination that he shouldn't ask anymore about it. He feared for the reason behind it.
Tsuna didn't understand what he felt anymore. It was too much for him. He clutched his shirt tightly and eyed the phone in his hand. The Decimo could vaguely hear the flat tone coming from the phone. He smiled as tears streamed down his face. Tsuna couldn't stop them anymore.
"Kyoko-chan… I love you." He bit his lip. "I love you so much that it hurts. I miss you, your voice, your smile… everything." Tsuna sobbed. "God knows how much I want to see you again, how much I want to put my arms around you! You don't know how much I long for the day the Ninth—or Reborn—tells me that I could return to Japan." Tsuna wiped the tears that fell down his face. "I want to see you so bad, even just a day… or even an hour for me would be more than enough." The brunette lowered his face. "I want to see you so bad…. I don't know what's happening there anymore but I…."
Tsuna paused gritting his teeth in anguish and despair mixing into one. He wanted to say these words to her but he couldn't find the courage to say them. It feels as though if he told this to Kyoko or anyone for that matter, they would think badly of him. Tsuna didn't want that. "Kyoko-chan… What this feeling? Why do I feel so scared? Why do I feel like slowly… you're slipping away." Tsuna chocked a sob. "I don't know if my mind is playing tricks on me but I keep dreaming things that seem to say that…" Tsuna didn't want to admit it and never did he think he would say this. "I would lose you… someday."
Tsuna's lower lip shook. He knew he looked stupid but he didn't care. It was better for him to look so stupid right? He was after all talking to a stupid phone. At least tomorrow he would be fine, he would smile again like nothing ever happened. He didn't want anyone to be bothered if they saw him in this state. He didn't want them to worry about him. Tsuna beamed.
"Kyoko-chan… you know," Tsuna drew his head up to the night sky. "I met someone. He's like a prince you see in fairytales. He's really nice. He's really so kind to me and to everyone. I wish you could meet him because…" Tsuna broke into tears once more. "He reminds me of so you. Your smile, he has that same gentleness that you have too. The way he makes me feel, the way his words calm me down… it makes me feel happy and it makes me forget my longing for you." The brunette sniffed. "I know that it's his mission to protect me but his actions make me feel like there was something more to it. His actions speak like there was an even deeper meaning in them, even deeper than the orders of the Ninth. I don't know what to think of him but I wish that things would be better again. I don't want to feel these sad things again. I want to forget them."
Tsuna bit his lip. He was beginning to cry again. Tsuna placed the phone down beside him, not bothering to turn it off anymore. Tsuna drew his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them, and then buried his face. His muffled sobs were the only thing he could hear. Tsuna was having a hard time thinking what was right or wrong anymore. He didn't know why he felt confused or why he broke down like this over something simple like that. Sure, Kyoko was busy. It was normal, everyone gets busy. She's still studying after all and she needs to take care of other things. Heck Tsuna knew that but something didn't feel right especially how Kyoko's voice sounded to him. Was he getting paranoid? It must be then otherwise he wouldn't be this way now.
There were reasons why Tsuna was the only one who could contact Kyoko and not the other way around. For one, it was Vongola's condition. It wasn't that they didn't trust Kyoko but if they wanted both sides safe, they had to do this. It was for the safety of their future leader after all. They had to make it sure that the call was untraceable. Tsuna sobbed. His life before was different and he couldn't help but miss his old one. Being a simple student surrounded by his friends and loved ones, fighting along side them for what was truly right.
Tsuna closed his eyes and tightened his hold onto himself. He soon cried himself to sleep.
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Tsuna didn't know if he was dreaming or not but he felt as though his body was raised to the ground. One moment he felt like he was floating and then suddenly he was lying down on something soft. And why was it so freaking hot? Wasn't he outside? Tsuna wondered. The brunette felt something cold touch his forehead and then his cheek. It felt really nice. Tsuna wanted to hold it but sadly he couldn't, he felt weak. He couldn't move nor could he open his eyes. Aside from the feeling of burning up, he seems to be having a bad headache and his eyes hurt as hell. Tsuna guessed that it was due to his excessive crying earlier on that caused it.
And then a soft gasp escaped Tsuna's lips as he suddenly felt something, a soothing cold sensation touch his neck. The feeling trailed all the way to his collar bone and down to his chest. A soft moan escaped his lips. Tsuna didn't know if he should be scared or not, it didn't feel exactly bad, actually it felt almost feather like in touch and it felt really good. What was causing this? Was he dreaming again? If he was, it seemed to be a nice dream.
Or so he thought.
Tsuna panted slightly as he felt the upper articles of his clothing slowly slip from his shoulders. He couldn't help but let that sound escape his lips. What exactly was that sound? He never thought he could even make that sound. The brunette's shivered slightly as he a cold sort of like wet sensation made all the way down from his neck and ever so slowly down his stomach. Tsuna had no idea what was happening around him. It was so dark and he still couldn't move his body. It was so strange, he seemed to be dreaming but he could feel all sorts of things. Wait, was he really dreaming? If he was why, why was feeling things happening to his body? Is this what they call sleep paralysis? Tsuna could only wonder.
And then all of his thoughts were blown away when he heard an unzipping sound circulated through his ears and felt like he was being stripped from his lower garments.
Tsuna managed to say something though it was more of a whisper. He didn't know what was going on anymore. He felt scared. Who exactly was doing this to him? Who was touching him? The Decimo gathered every ounce of strength he could to move his hands, he had to get that thing that was touching him away. And when he did Tsuna tried to reach out and it shocked him when something grabbed hold of his hand. He immediately forced himself to open his eyes and move his body, it hurt. It hurt as hell!
"G-Get away! Don't touch me!" Tsuna yelled, trying to get the thing that was holding him to let go. "Go away!" Tsuna screamed and scratched the one that was gripping his hand. He coughed right after, he strained his throat.
"Tsunayoshi! Calm down! It's me—it's Cielo!"
Tsuna gasped, his eyes grew wide open realizing the owner of that voice. The brunette couldn't exactly see what was around him. His vision was blurry and the little light coming from his bed side lamp strained his eyes. Tsuna had no option by to immediately shut his eyes close. Tsuna then noticed that he was in someone's embrace, Cielo's embrace. Tsuna relaxed onto the older male's hold. "Tsunayoshi… did I scare you?" The Decimo heard him say with that gentle tone full of sincerity and compassion. Tsuna nodded slightly.
"Forgive me… you seem to have a fever. You were sweating so much too. I couldn't just leave it like that so I opted to change your clothes. I do hope you don't… mind?"
'Oh so that explains why… the… that.' Tsuna told himself. He felt stupid for thinking weird things. Tsuna shook his head. He actually thought he was being molested. Which was just strange because, a guy is getting molested? He had never heard of such a thing. Could that even happen? He had no clue.
Cielo slowly removed his arms around the petit brunette and gently laid him down the soft bed. Tsuna had then realized that he was down to his boxers and the white dress shirt he wore earlier was hanging helplessly on his arms. It was indeed damp from sweat. Tsuna was embarrassed. He felt so ashamed but he couldn't really complain now could he? Cielo was doing this out of the goodness of his heart because it's not part of his job to do this. Plus Tsuna wouldn't dare complain. Tsuna didn't know what to do if the blonde called a maid to do this for him. That would be even more embarrassing.
Cielo then helped Tsuna to sit up properly so that he could get the clean shirt on him. Unfortunately, Tsuna never got his pants on because he couldn't stand properly and he just refused to let Cielo help him. It was fine without it, just the boxers was fine. He had the bed sheets to cover his lower half anyway. Once everything was okay, the blonde made Tsuna hold a glass of water for him to drink. It was perfect because Tsuna's throat felt dry. Tsuna also drank the medicine he was given and needless to say, it was never that difficult to get it down his throat. The Decimo was also a bit worried that the medicine might have some sort of side effect on him because the last time he got sick, he woke up strapped on his bed. Reborn didn't want to tell him what happened but he knew it wasn't good. He hoped nothing strange will happen.
The older male then helped the brunette lie down and pulled the sheets to cover the small figure. Tsuna raised his hand slightly, wanting to reach out and hold the blonde but couldn't really find him. Cielo gently caressed the side of Tsuna's face as if saying he was here and he won't leave him. It instantly gave the brunette reassurance and a sweet smile on his face. Cielo took that damp cloth that resided beside the Decimo's pillow and dipped it into a small basin filled with water. It fell there when the brunette had panicked. Cielo had pulled a chair earlier and placed the basin there near Tsuna's bed side so that he wouldn't need to stand up to get it wet again. The older male made sure there were no the excess water on the cloth so he twisted it to get it out before placing it on Tsuna's forehead. He wouldn't want it to drip on Tsuna's face while he sleeps after all.
The young Vongola already had a temperature when the Squad captain found him there on the veranda. The fact that Tsuna was panting awhile ago and sweating so much scared the blonde more than anything in the world would. Cielo couldn't exactly call a doctor right now. It was 3am in the morning and no one should be up besides a few servants, his team, and the guards.
"Cielo-san?" The blonde gazed at Tsuna as he saw him raise his hand slightly. Cielo took his hand and bit by bit intertwining his fingers around it. "I'm sorry for the trouble." He heard him say in a whisper.
"You don't have to say that. I'm always here to help you no matter what." The blonde said. Tsuna beamed.
"Cielo-san… uhm." The Decimo hesitated, he wanted to say something to the blonde but he felt a little drowsy. The medicine he drank earlier must he starting to affect his consciousness.
"Aren't you going to ask… what I was doing there?"
"I don't want to meddle on your personal affairs… but I am rather curious." Tsuna shifted a little and pulled the cloth on his forehead to his eyes. "Aren't you going to ask the same thing for me? How I found you there?"
"Eto, I'll tell you… if you tell me?" Tsuna had smiled rather childishly. Cielo shook his head, albeit beaming and agreed to what the Decimo wanted.
"The one in charge of the morning rounds and checks was on leave so I had to fill in for him. Everything else was in order but when I got here you were no where to be found. If I hadn't gone out the veranda, I would've never thought you were there." The captain explained. Tsuna seemed convinced of the blonde's explanation but he was rather puzzled out about something.
"Why is it that every time I'm in some trouble you always appear? What are you really? Are you an angel?" Tsuna joked. Cielo chuckled.
"It is of pure coincidence that I always catch you crying your eyes out somewhere. More so, I couldn't just leave you like that now could I?" Tsuna felt ashamed. It was true that the blonde was always there to aid him. It wasn't exactly part of his job to chase him to who knows where. Tsuna was in debt with him in a lot of ways. "And please how could I be an angel if I'm part of the Varia?"
"Then you must be… a death God, a Shinigami inside Vongola. Maybe that's why you wear that… uh thing on your head to hide your identity to everyone." Cielo was surprised, his mouth hung open slightly. He was silent and neither Tsuna nor Cielo spoke. There was an awkward silence before the both of them suddenly burst out laughing. Tsuna wanted to see Cielo but of course, he couldn't do it. He blames himself for crying so much that he couldn't really open his eyes without closing them a second later. The brunette then wondered how the blonde looked like with that kind of happy-crazy smile. True, he had seen him laugh before but never this much. The laughter stopped though when Tsuna began to have a coughing fit it worried Cielo to no end. They were silent after that. Tsuna felt some slight change of weight on the side of his bed. It seems that the blonde had turned off his lamp so that Tsuna could rest properly.
"I'm here." The blonde answered and held the brunette's hand. "Tsunayoshi, you need to get some sleep. You won't get better if you keep on talking."
"But I haven't—" Tsuna yawned. "Explained why I was there." And he yawned once more. "I don't want to be unfair… to you." All that laughing made Tsuna extremely tired but he didn't really want to sleep right now. He felt strange, it was like that feeling when you're drunk. Tsuna guessed that the medicine was starting to have its effects on him. Tsuna didn't really care anyway.
"You can tell me some other time, right now you need to rest." Cielo said, touching Tsuna's hand gently. "I'll stay here beside you until you fall asleep."
"Thank you—uhm can you come a little closer?" Tsuna asked. Cielo agreed and granted the Decimo's simple request. He wanted to make him feel right since he was after all ill and he needed that attention. Cielo would do anything that the brunette requested, given that it would be for his own betterment. He needed to be cared for and Cielo didn't want his fever to worsen after all.
For once, the blonde's guard was down. He didn't expect for something to happen especially not something that the brunette would do in his most vulnerable state. As so as Cielo moved closer to the ill individual, Tsuna reached out to touch his face. It shocked the captain enough for his eyes to widen. He felt nervous and saw a smile braced Tsuna's lips. "Tsunayoshi?" Cielo managed to say.
"Heh… can I make a request Cielo-san?" The blonde swallowed, he wanted to touch Tsuna's hand but he hesitated.
"Sure…." The captain said in hushed tone. He was rather tense of what he might make him do or what he might ask but he prepared for the worst. Cielo stared at Tsuna's face and he couldn't help but pity him. He had somehow deducted what happened to him in the veranda. Cielo saw him after all. His helpless state as he held himself like a lonesome being full of despair. He was burning up, drowning on his own sweat because his system had given up. The blonde saw the communicator beside him and judging from what he saw, there was something that happened with the brunette and the woman he loved so much. Now Cielo wondered if he already knew about it, he didn't know what to say if he did. The captain blamed himself. There were already rumors and speculations that Sasagawa Kyoko was dating another man but the Ninth made it an order never to let the Decimo know about it or anything related to it. He had refused that Vongola investigate further about that matter. It was a waste of time, according to him. Cielo knew that the Ninth was afraid of the truth because the only reason Tsuna agreed to accept the title of Decimo was because of Sasagawa Kyoko. She was the reason why Tsuna went to Italy to become the Vongola Decimo. It was her who convinced him to go.
Sasagawa Kyoko was Tsuna's Madonna, she was her most precious woman, and she was her will.
The Ninth was afraid that Tsuna's will would die out the moment whatever truth was set free. Now Cielo didn't know what happened, how things ended this way. He didn't know of the truth too and no one did until Vongola was sent of the threat. It was also the same time one of the under bosses brought evidence that Sasagawa Kyoko was indeed having an affair with someone else. The Nono was enraged by this but made sure all the under bosses were never to speak of this matter again or suffer severe punishment. It had then became a secret between the Nono and the under bosses. And the Nono had told him of it. It wasn't that big of a problem before but now that one of the guardians knew about it. It might become a bigger one. Cielo was regretting that he didn't take care of this before. Cielo should have met with Sasagawa Kyoko earlier and warned her but he couldn't. He can't leave the Decimo now especially with this impending danger. The Decimo's life was more important than his relationship with Sasagawa Kyoko.
"Cielo-san… is everything okay?" The blonde snapped from his train of thoughts. Cielo nodded and held Tsuna's hand that was against his cheek. "You were so silent. I hope I didn't bother you…."
"No… it's fine. What was your request, Tsunayoshi?" Cielo said, eyeing him once more. It seems that the brunette had pulled the cloth that was on his forehead to his eyes. Now it was the smaller male's turn to be silent. The captain saw uncertainty in the Decimo's body language. Cielo was curious what was going on inside Tsuna's mind. He couldn't very well guess especially now with his eyes still covered by the damp cloth.
"You said you do anything to help me right?" Cielo was skeptical. He wasn't sure of what he would reply to the brunette. He did say that earlier nevertheless Cielo could actually say he was worried about the Decimo's request. Tsuna seem to be acting a little strange however Cielo nodded.
"Yes." A beatific smile slowly stretched on the brunette's lips as the blonde felt a feather like touch trail to his cheek and then to his slightly opened lips. He saw as the young Vongola slowly raised himself from the bed and closer to the blonde's face, the cloth on his eyes fell to the side. Tsuna's eyes were slightly red and puffy but Cielo saw deep emotions in them, indescribable emotions. It shocked him.
Tsuna seemed a whole new person, no it was still him but he was consumed too much by emotions he couldn't seem to hold anymore. The Primo himself was stunned. And the next couple of words that came out from the Decimo was enough to root him in place.
"Then… Cielo-san have you ever fallen in love before?" The brunette asked, brushing a thumb over the blonde's cheek.
"Y-Yes." The captain answered, he didn't know why he answered. It just suddenly came out. His mind was screaming him to push the Decimo away but he couldn't. It was like something was binding him and prevented him from turning him away. He was afraid that he might do something to the Decimo. He wouldn't dare forgive himself if he did but what he could he do? Cielo—Giotto feared this but what Tsuna said shook the core of his being.
"Then for my request… will you pretend that… that person… is me and will you kiss me?" Cielo—no, Giotto stared straight at the Decimo. He never thought he would hear those words from him. The Primo felt his throat dry and his eyes broadened as reality came crashing down on him. Tsuna was asking a kiss from him? Did he hear it right? If he did, he couldn't do this! He couldn't! The blonde gathered whatever strength he had and shook his head before turning his eyes away from the Decimo.
"You do realize that we are both men and I can't do this! I can't do—what you're asking me! You have—" An index finger was placed gently on his lip and stopped him from speaking. The blonde stared at the brunette.
"I know and I don't care because just this one time… I want to forget the feeling of emptiness and pain. Just this once I want someone else to hold me." Tsuna smiled weakly. "And I want you to do it…."
"Tsunayoshi…." Giotto gazed at the Decimo before gritted his teeth. He could see that Tsuna wanted to cry but no tears seemed to come out anymore. He had far exhausted them. Giotto was never left with such a decision before. If he had one it might have been so long ago. He always knows what to do but now, he was confused. The blonde didn't know if it was reality that really did this or was it under the influence of the curse? It was what Giotto feared, it was happening all over again, like it did to him 400 years ago. The curse that now binds them together. Giotto knew that the curse was compelling the brunette to do this. But he wasn't really sure if it was the curse that is behind all of this. Was it really the curse or is this really happening without its influence? Whatever it was he was scared for him.
"Please?" Tsuna said a soft voice. The older male stared at the Decimo with sadness and anguish. He hated it and he hated himself because he knew he could never bring himself to disappoint the brunette. He loved him far too much to do that but what he was doing was wrong. It was all wrong. Giotto pondered on it for a moment. What will happen after this? Will it affect their friendship? Maybe but… maybe it wasn't only Tsuna who wanted to forget the pain. Maybe he too wanted to forget. Giotto wasn't sure if the curse was really a curse anymore but one thing was for sure, he couldn't take the exploding emotions inside his chest.
"Forgive me…." The blonde whispered and earned a bitter sweet smile from the brunette. Silently in Giotto's mind, he prayed to God that everything he had done so far was right and he would regret nothing in the end.
And so throwing the last bit of hesitance he had, the blonde pushed the brunette to the bed and swiftly grabbed the cloth that fell beside his pillow. He covered Tsuna's eyes and without another word crashed his lips against his. Tsuna didn't know why he did that but he understood why as he moved his hands to touch Cielo's face. It stunned him a little as he realized that blonde had taken off his visor. He had done something like this just to carry out Tsuna's request. Tsuna felt selfish that he had made him do this and somehow he regretted it.
Tsuna's thoughts though were diverted as he felt something soft, wet, and velvety trace his lower lip. Tsuna's head tilt back slightly, knowing fully well what it was. It scared Tsuna as he felt his shirt was raised and something ghost up under it, he squirmed but he couldn't move too much as the blonde had locked him in place. It made the brunette gasp, breaking the kiss. A few seconds later Cielo had pulled him into another sweet kiss, a sweet yet forceful and passionate one. Cielo took the opportunity to deepen the kiss and plunged his tongue into Tsuna's mouth. Tsuna wanted a kiss and so he shall have one with every bit of feeling and meaning into it.
Tsuna couldn't do anything but enjoy the sensation that he was given. He had never kissed anyone this way and as far as he could remember he hasn't been kissed by anyone this passionate. He knew that Cielo was a man but he didn't care because he was the only person who made him feel like he used to before. It reminded him of everything that once was before. The blonde let his tongue wonder, tasting every bit he could. Cielo enjoyed the warmth he felt as he explored even deeper. The Decimo's body temperature was higher than usual and it made the kiss all the more better for him. He felt small arms circle around his neck pulling him closer, urging him to continue. The older male complied and sucked softly on the brunette's tongue, ultimately earning him a sweet moan. Needless to say he was enjoying the kiss and he saw Tsuna was too but alas the need for air grew and it also meant one thing: This wonderful dream was soon going to end.
Cielo broke the kiss a moment later, both of them were panting. Cielo's hand shook slightly as he pressed the cross that dangled on his clip earring. The silver ear piece quickly transformed into his visor and so he took his hand away from the Decimo's eyes, taking the cloth from his face. Tsuna seemed either too weak or too stunned to take his hands off of him so Cielo took the liberty of doing it and placing it above the brunette's head. He eyed Tsuna wondering if he was fine.
Tsuna looked like a mess.
Tsuna was panting heavily, his lips red from the bruising kiss, his face flushed, and his eyes were half lidded. His shirt was raised up slightly. Cielo got a little carried away. The blonde swallowed and tried to regain back his composure when he heard a soft voice.
"Thank you… Cielo-san and I'm sorry…." Tsuna said, smiling slightly before finally closing his eyes letting himself be consumed by darkness. Cielo breathed out and his heart was beating loudly inside his chest. He couldn't believe what happened and somehow he didn't know if he would regret what he did or just leave it be. Cielo didn't know if he should feel happy about it or not. The kiss felt so wrong yet so right in some sick way. Giotto had no other means to explain how he felt but one thing was for sure, Giotto loved Tsuna very much and no matter what he made him do, he will always love him. He would do anything for him even if Tsuna would only hurt him in return.
The blonde-haired male gazed at the sleeping brunette and smiled at his peaceful face. Cielo stood up, fixing Tsuna. He didn't want to leave him looking like a complete mess after all. Cielo had also tucked him in and touched his forehead. He was expecting that his fever got worse but thankfully it didn't though he still had a temperature. The captain then took the cloth earlier and tossed it to the trash. It was better to get a new one after all. So he got one in the bathroom drawer and used it on Tsuna's forehead to help with his fever. After everything was fine, the captain stood up, grabbed his coat by the nearby chair, and put it on. He dusted it off a little and eyed Tsuna one last time. He opened the door and walked his way out.
The blonde sighed, noting the time when felt something sting his left hand. His eyes widened. He didn't notice it earlier. There were three scratch marks on his left hand. It took about a moment for everything to sink in. He plastered on a small knowing grin.
"It didn't heal…." Cielo murmured.
An image of Tsuna flashed inside his mind followed by the vivid memory of how the brunette had scratched him earlier on when he panicked. The captain's lips stretched to a smirk, different thoughts clouded his mind as he strides his way down the empty corridor.
To be continued…
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Ahem… Hello again everyone! Thank you to those who reviewed last chapter. I'm very happy to hear from you! :D So! Did you… enjoy the chapter? XD Hahaha! I sure do hope you did. I took the fluff level a little higher. I didn't scar anyone with my horrible lime writing skills, did I? I hope not. OTL
Like I said I'd dedicate this chapter to those who made fan arts of ATLY. Now let me mention them. Alasse-Tasartir and DiMrokku at deviant art. I owe these two a good juicy chapter so there it is your prize! My heartfelt thanks to you both, I'd hug you two in real life if I could. Hahaha! XD Well I suppose that's it, thank you for reading. I'll see you guys again next chapter! :D