I took a deep breath and took a step forward.
The sky was an endless pool of darkness, brought to life by the scattered starts that twinkled happily in the blackness. There were no grey clouds, only a crescent shaped moon that shone down on me. It illuminated my snowy skin. There was a slight breeze, although, being a vampire, the coldness didn't register to my head or body. There was no one else here, no one to stop me from running if I wished. The place was far from the reach of busy roads, saving people from hearing the cars that sped down the narrow lanes. Silence was my only company. And what good company it was. Silence never failed.
I looked around, expecting a pair of golden eyes to gaze back at me, but I was alone.
I bent down, not showing any concern to the dirt that would stain my designer pants, mainly because I knew Alice would be happy enough to buy me another pair. The flowers were held limply in my hands; I didn't want to ruin them using my inhuman strength without meaning to. I could smell their soft scent. It tickled my nose. I lay them down on the fresh pile of dirt, unable to look up yet.
I had feared this day ever since I was rewarded my immortality. I knew that I would one day have to visit this exact spot, feeling the exact heart wrenching pain I felt now. But, even though I was aware, nothing could have prepared me for it. I guess that most people, if blessed with immortality, would never stop and treasure anything again – why would they? They had forever to live, one moment had no significance anymore – there would be no end for their lives to flash in front of their eyes, they would have forever to experience better and more meaningful times. Yet, I could not behave in that way. I knew that, some time in the future, the soul purpose of my existence would be gone. Forever. I would never get to relive those memories, never get to experience better and more meaningful times, because he wouldn't exist, he would merely be an empty shell. Dead to the world, whilst I got to live for eternity. Until I came for the end, not the end coming for me.
I knew that if I was able to cry then the tears would have been welling up in my golden eyes.
I had been distant the last few years. I rung every day and asked how he was, how his day had been, yet, even to me, it never seemed enough. I knew that I couldn't have spent forever in Forks, no matter how much I longed to. He always sounded happy though, probably finding our phone calls enough to keep him holding on. I wished I had been there by his side, holding onto his hand as we looked through an old photograph album or watched a baseball match on the television, yet it had been impossible to return to Forks. Everything the Cullen's had built, all the human acts they had put on, would have all for nothing if I had returned to Forks looking the same as I did at eighteen. Charlie didn't seem to mind though, for which I was grateful.
I knew it was time. I had to do it. It was now or never …
I choked back a sob as I looked up at his grave.
1968 – 2038
Beloved Father, Husband & Grandfather.
We shall miss you.
The sudden guilt and pain began to crush me.
I was experiencing the moment when you first realize you can't quite remember every single detail about a loved one anymore. What their voice sounded like, how they smelled, their laugh ... some little detail that makes you feel unbearably guilty for forgetting and moves them one step closer to away from you.
If I had still been breathing, if my lungs had still been intact, then I would have deprived my body of oxygen. I began searching my mind, trying to remember the last phone call we shared, the last time I heard his voice. I began to feel frustrated with myself. He was my Father! He raised me, he rocked me to sleep at night, and he was always there. Why couldn't I remember? I needed to remember the sound of his voice. I couldn't go on for eternity without it as a reminder of the reason I existed.
I couldn't understand how this all happened. How people went through this every day. One minute he was there, happy and full of life, and then there's just a body. And, in a few years, the body would turn into bones. Then there would only be dust. He would leave memories behind, in our hearts and minds, yet he wasn't here anymore. I just couldn't get my head around the fact that he was gone – he wasn't coming back. And just knowing that Charlie will never watch a baseball match again, or go fishing, or answer his phone when I ring him. And I just couldn't understand why. No one had an explanation. It just happened. Death was unexplainable. When faced with trying to understand death, everyone was just as lost as I was.
I looked up and noticed the sun was rising. I knew I had to go soon before anyone saw the way my skin was sparkling furiously.
I traced my fingers along his name, closing my eyes to try and imagine his face. I suddenly felt someone smooth down my hair. I should have been able to hear anyone walking towards me or sneaking up on me – my vampire hearing would pick up even the smallest movement. My eyes flew open and I looked around.
No one was there.
I rose to my feet; my eyes still locked the gravestone.
A bluster of wind swirled past me. And, for one tiny moment, I thought I could hear Charlie's voice, whispering to me in the wind 'I love you.'
A small smile graced upon my face. I found that I was able to remember his voice again.
If one thing was true, it was this: love will always transcend death.
Just a little something I had wrote a while ago. I always hated the thought of Bella one day visiting Charlie's grave. And ' Aeternum vale' on Charlie's grave means Farewell Forever.
Anyway, hope you like. Lots of love, Beth x