8. The Coral Lily Corollary
Knock knock knock. "Leonard!" Knock knock knock. "Leonard!"
"Go away, Sheldon!"
"You need to have some sustenance, or you'll be in for some unfortunate dehydration tomorrow," he called through the door.
"I didn't drink that much," replied Leonard grumpily.
"I have water. You must be thirsty. And some cake."
Leonard opened the door slightly. "Well, it is good cake." He let Sheldon in.
Sheldon attempted to make his eyes as big and puppy-like as possible. "I didn't enjoy our altercation, Leonard."
"Yeah, well… neither did I." Leonard took some cake and chewed it thoughtfully.
"I realise my methods may have come across as extreme, but the feeling behind them was sincere."
Leonard sighed. "Yeah. I should have realised you were just… being you. This is actually kind of flattering, in a bizarre, endearing and… possibly disturbing way."
Sheldon grinned. "I'm glad we've resolved our differences. I have something to give you." He went back out to fetch something.
"Here," he said, handing Leonard a pot. "It's a coral lily."
"You brought me… a plant."
"I understand it is traditional to give flowers to those whom one has less than honourable intentions towards."
Leonard examined it. "But… there aren't any flowers."
"While it is traditional to give a bouquet, I thought it would be far more practical and cost-efficient to get a hardy pot plant. The flowers will bloom if the plant is given due care. I know how you value cost-efficiency, Leonard."
Leonard conceded that he probably did. Sheldon smiled and produced a ukelele, seemingly from nowhere.
"You're lucky Howard's not around," said Leonard.
"I wrote you a song. I understand that is also a traditional romantic gesture." He sat on the bed and started to strum. "Forgive me for the poor scansion, but it was somewhat impromptu." He cleared his throat.
"I'm not really coherent; you could say I'm out of phase.
Like observed subatomic particles, I go round in a haze.
Like two wires with currents flowing in the same direction
Our mutual attraction gives me-"
"…room for introspection.
I made moves to try opposing all the changes in my system
But my induced field has failed me; it appears that I have missed them.
Just like promoted electrons, my state is most excited;
If you feel the same as me, then I would be delighted.
Like the scalar to my vector, I know you'll never cross me…"
He stopped abruptly. "I couldn't find a rhyme there, but I think you understand my point."
"That you shouldn't quit your day job?" said Leonard. Sheldon looked down, disheartened. "That we should make like carbon-14?"
Sheldon screwed up his forehead in confusion. "And decay in a spontaneous and random process?"
Leonard shook his head, smiling. "And date."
"Oh. I think, though, as carbon-14 is used only for dating on a relatively short time scale, I would prefer it if your analogy instead made use of rubidium-87."
"Shut up," said Leonard, and kissed him.
A/N: Sorry about the physics overload. You'd have thought carbon-14's half-life of 5700 years would be enough, but what can I say, they're in love…