I'm sorry about the cliffhanger from the last chapter, but I really wanted their first meeting to be through Bella's eyes. So... here we go, the moment we've all been waiting for...
I felt like I was going to puke.
Riding high on the adrenaline rush of the show and how incredibly on we were tonight, I sent Edward a text telling him to meet me backstage without even thinking. With my phone lying lifeless in my hand, my main form of communication with him for the longest time, I mentally punched myself in the face for acting so hastily. I hadn't showered, I hadn't eaten, I hadn't had a good healthy dose of liquid courage to get me through. It was going to be just me, and just him for the first time. Ever.
Oh god, what have I done?
I needed a pep talk, a morale boost. I needed someone to tell me I could do this. I needed Alice.
I pulled her number up on speed dial and hit send. It rang and rang and rang until finally her overly chipper voicemail message answered. Frustrated, I ended the call and tossed the phone onto the couch in the green room. Jasper would have to do for now.
It was normal for the boys and I to have separate green rooms so that I could change out of my sweaty clothes after a gig, and tonight was no different. I could hear Emmett's laughter through the wall and I needed someone to reassure me that I was doing the right thing just one more time before everything changed between Edward and me.
With a burst of nervous energy I sprinted for the door, eager for my safety net, and threw it open.
But as soon as I did, everything stopped. It was like I was frozen in time, suspended in some quantum worm hole that allowed everything to move in slow motion. Blocking my way out of the tiny, stuffy, green room was a man, tall and broad wearing a dark green tshirt. The fabric across his chest was stretched so tightly that it seemed plausible that it could rip apart at the seams at any moment. His arm was raised as if to knock on the door showing off a flexed, and frankly impressive, bicep. My eyes traveled further up to his strong, square chin and full lips before landing on his piercing green eyes.
My breath caught in my throat and I thought my heart might explode. We seemed to stare at each other for a long moment, neither of us blinking, neither of us breathing.
I wanted to become invisible, to fade into thin air and just look at him. Well, gawk at him was more like it. He was simply perfection on two legs and too much to take in, in one quick look.
As if someone suddenly pressed play on reality, the buzz from the hallway assaulted my ears and my heart started to beat again.
"Hi," he said in a low, gravelly voice.
"Hi," I squeaked, sounding nothing like myself.
"Yeah, a little," he laughed, letting his arm fall to his side.
"Shit, I'm sorry, come in," I said, feeling incredibly stupid and moved aside so he could join me in the small space.
He smiled sheepishly and dipped his head a little before gliding through the door and closing it behind him.
"I uhh.." I started, but my mind went blank.
What the hell am I supposed to say to him? Part of me wanted to giggle uncontrollably because I couldn't stop putting various pictures of him together in my head to imagine him naked, while another part of me wanted to jump on top of him to get him actually naked.
He chuckled softly and took a deep breath.
"How about we start with this," he said in the same deep, smooth voice that had always made my knees weak. In a few graceful strides, he crossed the short distance between us. When he was standing directly in front of me, he reached out and cradled my face in both hands and before I had an opportunity to protest or even really absorb what was happening, he pressed his full, wonderful, amazing lips to mine and kissed me like nobody else had ever kissed me in my entire life. For what seemed like the millionth time in 5 minutes, I stopped breathing and just felt.
I felt his mouth moving against mine. I felt his hot breath fanning out across my cheek. I felt his warm, calloused hands against my face. And god, it felt good.
He was gentle but insistent, smoothly sliding his tongue past the barrier of my lips. Lost in the pleasure of his kiss, I let out an embarrassing moan that jarred me from the little euphoric cloud I'd settled on and back to the real world.
We pulled apart slowly and I opened my eyes to find his brilliant green ones already looking down at me, smiling.
"I hope that was worth the wait, because I've wanted to do that for a really long time" he said softly.
"I'll let you know as soon as my brain starts working again," I giggled.
"You were really great out there tonight, Bella," he breathed and I felt myself go a little weak in the knees again.
"Thanks," I whispered back with a smile, my face still just inches from his.
"Bella, they want you next door for an interview and-" Jake opened the door while knocking but froze when he saw that I wasn't alone. "Sorry, I didn't know you had company. Everything ok in here?" he asked, drawing himself up to his full, intimidating height.
"Yeah," I cleared my throat and stepped back from Edward. "Yeah Jake, everything's fine.
"So this is Jake?" Edward asked with a suspicious glint in his eye.
"Yeah, Edward this is our manager, Jake. Jake this is my friend, Ed-"
"Edward Cullen, nice to meet you," Edward said walking over to Jake and gripping his hand in what appeared to be a bone crushing, battle of wills, handshake. "I've heard a lot about you."
"Funny, I've heard nothing about you," Jake said through a wide, artificial smile.
"Well," I chimed in, eager to quell the rising tension in the room, "if you'll give us a minute, Jake I'll come next door to answer some questions, ok?"
"Sure, sure" he grumbled and flashed Edward a withering look before slipping through the door and closing it behind him.
"Keeping me a secret, huh?" Edward asked with a smirk, but with a slight edge to his voice.
"He rescheduled our entire tour for us so that I could be here tonight, remember? If he found out the real reason why I wanted to get down here so bad I doubt he'd have been quite so agreeable."
"Fair enough," he said with a more genuine smile. "I'm glad you got here, no matter what bits of information you had to omit to do it."
I went into the next room to join James, Emmett and Jasper for an interview with the local newspaper and a music blogger. Edward stood back against the wall, away from where the four of us sat and answered questions, exchanging death stares with Jake from across the room.
When the interview was over, I introduced Edward to my guys. James and Emmett were leery of him at first but Jasper was friendly and welcoming. Of course, Jasper was the only one of them that I'd really confided in about the whole situation anyway. He was the only one who really knew how much he meant to me. After introductions were made, Edward said that his friends and band mates were still out at the bar and he wanted me to meet them.
"Chicks?" Emmett asked, immediately perking up and dropping his tough-guy persona.
"One, yeah," Edward laughed.
"I'm in," Emmett stated and made his way past everyone else, through the stage door and out to the bar. "Jake, you coming?"
Five sets of eyes all shifted to where Jake stood off to the side of the door, causing him to shuffle back and forth uncomfortably.
"No, I'll make sure all the gear gets on the bus. You guys have fun." The words seemed to taste bitter in his mouth, but he excused himself out into the busied frenzy going on down the hall without an explanation.
Down the hall and through the stage door, we walked out into the club. Edward's friends seemed to be the only people left lingering at the bar. A gorgeous, Amazon blonde was arguing animatedly with one of the security staff.
"No asshole, we're not leaving. Our friend is backstage and I will sit my happy ass right here until he comes back out." Turning her back to the brawny bouncer, she spied Edward and I walking hand in hand across the open floor. "Great, he's back. We can leave now," she said flatly.
"Now that's what I'm talking about," I heard Emmett mutter from behind me, before edging past us and swaggering over to where the gorgeous woman sat perched on her bar stool.
"It's okay, they're with us," I said, waving to the bouncer. He gave a surly nod back and resumed stacking chairs and stools.
"Guys, this is Bella," Edward said with a wide, exuberant smile.
"Hooray," the tall blonde twirled her finger sarcastically in the air.
"Rose," Edward said in a warning tone, to which she simply rolled her eyes. "Don't mind her. Her bark is worse than her bite," he whispered, his lips dangerously close to my ear.
"Rose, what a beautiful name. I'm Emmett. I play drums in this little band here," Emmett said, sidling up to the bar next to her and flashing her what was meant to be a dashing smile. She cocked a well groomed eyebrow his direction and snorted demurely into her cocktail.
"Cute," she muttered.
"Why thank you," he replied, grasping one of her hands in his own and bringing it to his lips. Slowly, I observed tiny cracks forming in her steely façade. Though her shoulders were still squared and her overall body language read closed off and frosty, I could make out a tiny hint of a smile on her lips and a softening of her stony eyes. It was a good thing Emmett enjoyed a challenge.
We stood at the bar for what felt both like barely a moment and a lifetime. Edward and I didn't get drunk per se, but we did become a bit bolder with every drink. With each passing moment he became less hesitant about making physical contact between us and I became less shy about accepting it. His large, strong hands ghosted up and down my forearms causing my skin to erupt with embarrassing goosebumps, but I didn't care. I had wanted him for so long. I had dreamed about seeing his face up close for what felt like forever.
He smiled and laughed quietly down at me.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing, I just—I just, I didn't think it could be this easy, seeing you. I thought it would be strange, but being here with you…"
"Exactly," he smiled and it was so much more incredible than any picture he'd ever sent me. And that got my slightly foggy brain thinking about pictures, and a few photographic gems I had safely saved on my laptop, hidden away in the bus. I bit my lip and smiled into my glass at the thought.
"What? What were you thinking just now?" he asked with that grin of his that was quickly becoming one of my favorite things in the world to look at.
"Nothing," I replied with a wave of my free hand, "It's just… nothing, nevermind."
"Oh come on Bella, tell me." In an act that could only be described as a cruel, calculated move on his part, he wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressed his chest firmly against my back, and rested his mouth against my mostly bare shoulder.
My eyes fluttered closed and I took in a rattling breath.
"Please, Bella," he murmured against my skin, cracking my resolve and my instinct of self preservation.
"I was just thinking about you naked."
Oh shit… did I really just say that?
My entire body lit on fire, the heat of my embarrassing word vomit spreading from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. Suddenly his lips seemed cool against my searing flesh, and I felt him laugh.
"Ask what you're thinking and I actually get a truthful answer. I like it," he chuckled, trailing a line of feather soft kisses up my neck.
As much as I hated to break the connection his mouth had made with any part of my body, I turned on my bar stool to face him.
"That came out wrong… or right, I guess… but I didn't mean to—shit, I'm so bad at this," I groaned and buried my face in my hands.
I felt his hands come to rest against the bar on either side of me. Nudging my legs apart he moved closer to stand between them and pressed his lips against the place where my hands came together over my eyes.
"Bella," he whispered, a slow seductive quality taking over his already velvety voice. "Hey, look at me."
Slowly I raked my hands down my face, revealing a blush that had done nothing but intensify since my admission.
"The fact that you were thinking about me naked makes me feel a little bit less bad about thinking about you naked." My heart shuttered in my chest.
Before I could really even process his words, he was leaning in again and kissing me. Slow and languid lips moved against mine, gently sucking and pulling me deeper and closer to him.
"Al-right, Bella," James laughed from down the bar.
I smiled against Edward's mouth and started to laugh a little myself. Being with him made me feel dizzy and reckless.
"Shh…Bella," he whispered, continuing to kiss my lips, my cheeks, my jaw, my neck. "I want you, I always have. You make me crazy. Thinking about you naked… that's some of the tamer thoughts I've had about you."
I trembled in his arms as he just kept kissing me and kissing me. My thoughts all stuck together like they'd been coated in honey and tossed around in my head; sticking together and slowing down my ability to process all the things he was saying.
"Bella, I'm sorry," he whispered huskily against my ear. "I shouldn't have said that to you, but I feel like my time with you is running out—like any minute now you're going to ride off and I'm never going to see you again."
"No, Edward, no… this won't be the last—"
"Fuck, I hope not. I don't know if I'm even going to be able to let you go tonight." Reflexively, his arms slid from the edge of the bar to wrap around my waist and pull me close.
There was a loud bang from somewhere in the club startling me away from Edward's kiss.
"I don't fucking care! Get it fixed, we're on a schedule!" Jake's large, lumbering body seethed in front of the thrown open stage door as he shoved his cell phone into his pocket.
"Get whatever you need for tonight off of the bus, we're staying in this hell hole tonight," he stated flatly, an angry vein pulsing in the side of his neck.
"What? Why?" Jasper asked.
"The bus chewed up a fan belt and we can't get it fixed until tomorrow. The hotel down the block held the reservations we had to forfeit this afternoon so we'll stay there tonight. I just fucking hope we don't have to cancel tomorrow's gig in L.A." Jake's jaw twitched when his eyes came to rest on Edward and I standing wrapped around each other but without a word he turned on his heel and stomped back in the direction that he came from.
"Stay with me," I blurted without a single thought.
A slow smile crept across Edward's mouth and his only answer was to kiss me again.
Half intoxicated on Edward's presence alone, I giddily stumbled onto the bus to gather my necessities and make my way down to the trendy hotel a few blocks away with Edward by my side. The guys had most of their things already in their green room so they had gone on to the hotel without me. As we made our way through the lobby, I noticed Jake arguing in forceful, hushed whispers on his phone again. I pulled Edward by the hand through the lobby quickly so as not to draw any attention from Jake.
Once in the elevator we were like teenagers again, laughing and smiling while not being able to keep our hands off of each other. We were brave and bold when it came to getting what we wanted and what we wanted was each other. His hands were everywhere; my face, my hair, my back, my ass. I tried to think, to breathe but it was all too much. The day I never thought would come had finally arrived and if this was how it all ended for me, I'd be okay with that.
The elevator bell chimed and we jumped apart, both a giggling mess. I lead him by the hand down to the far end of the hall and slipped my key card into the door. The room was dark, save for the moonlight streaming in through the open windows and the twinkling city lights. He shut the door behind us and suddenly all boldness and all traces of our once giddy and excited selves were gone.
His hands trembled ever so slightly as they came to rest on my shoulders and slide slow warmth down my arms. He grasped my hands in his and wrapped both of our arms around my middle.
"Bella," he whispered. "If we have just one night…"
"More," was the only word I could manage.
"I need you, can you feel it?"
And I could; hard and heavy against my ass. I let out a ragged sigh. All of the waiting, all of the hoping, all of the doubt and the distance, all of it had lead us here to this. This moment. I had thought about being with him for the first time over and over again but I had never thought about this part, the build up, the hesitation. It was sweet and burning and terrifying and wonderful.
But he just held me there, our arms tangled around my waist and his need making it's presence known. Waiting. And I knew then what I had really always known about him; he wasn't going to push me. If we went further it would be up to me. Once this dawned on me, there was no more hesitation and no more fear.
He was right. Though I knew in my heart that there would be more, if we have just one night, how would I want to spend it? And the answer was with him, in every way possible.
I turned in his arms so that I was chest to chest with his tall, lean frame. Cupping his face in both of my hands, just as he had done to me earlier in the night, I leaned forward onto my toes and kissed him as deeply and as passionately as I could. It was my white flag, my surrender.
He responded just as I hoped that he would, by reciprocating with his mouth and hands. Those wonderful hands.
I ran my fingers down his neck to his chest until the reached the bottom of his t-shirt, slipped under and began pulling the soft, worn cotton up and over his head. Parting our lips for just a moment, the neck of his shirt snagged on his nose causing us both to expel a soft burst of nervous laughter. But in an instant we were back to it again; caressing and breathing, removing and feeling.
When we were both clad in just our under things, he gently lay me back onto the bed in the center of the room. Hovering over me, he ghosted his fingertips across my overheated skin from the hollow of my throat to my navel, making me shiver.
"Edward," I sighed wantonly.
"Shh… I'm memorizing you, just like this," he whispered as his fingers continued their slow exploration of my skin.
When they grazed my nipple through the barely-there material of my bra, I gasped and arched my back into his hands. It was as if then something inside of him snapped; he could no longer retrain what was battling inside of him. In firm, almost frantic motions he unhooked my bra and stripped me of my panties until I was completely bare beneath him.
With certainness and resolve I didn't know that I possessed, I pushed his boxers down his legs as far as they would go and used my toes to finish what my hands couldn't reach.
We looked into each other's eyes for one long moment, as if to verify one last time that we were both sure. When he was certain of my answer, he slid off of the bed to retrieve a foil wrapper from his wallet in his discarded pants pocket. Ripping the wrapper with his teeth, he glided the tight latex down over his length and sat back on his knees on the bed.
Taking a deep breath, I spread my legs apart slowly, revealing to him what only a few men before him had seen. In an instant he was over me again, this time positioned at my entrance. His mouth attacked mine, tongues and teeth scraping and sucking each other into one another.
"Edward, please," I whispered.
Without a word, he pushed his hips forward and enter me for the first time.
I can't even begin to describe the feeling; it was everything I had fantasized about and yet there was nothing in the world that could have prepared me for it. Breathing his name again, I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer. I needed more of him. I needed all of him.
His movements were slow and deliberate, each accompanied with a noise from deep inside of him; half feral groan, half euphoric sigh.
"Jesus…you…this is… fuck, Bella," he growled against my neck.
"Harder," I whispered.
He obliged me, driving into me with more force than before. The sounds that were coming out of me were nothing that I recognized. No man had ever made me feel like this, thus no man had ever made me sound like this.
"Harder," I demanded, tangling my fingers into his hair and lightly pulling.
"Fuck…" he growled again, picking up the pace still, until I could feel ever muscle in his body firing in time with his movements. Each contact, each thrust sent shockwave after shockwave of pleasure through my body that radiated out to the tips of my fingers and toes.
His face, so concentrated and determined above me was beautiful.
And then I began to feel it, the sweet, tight, tension building somewhere deep inside of me.
"Edward—I… so close. I'm –"
Words failed me as my mind shut off and my body took over; I was being shattered from the inside out, breaking apart by hundreds of tiny bolts of lightning radiating out from where we were connected. My body trembled and bucked against him but he didn't stop. He motions continued in the same fashion, hard and deliberate, until I crested a second wave. A moment later, his mouth fell open and he let out a guttural moan as his body tensed and seized over mine.
Slick with sweat and out of breath, he collapsed onto the bed beside me.
Without a word, he pulled back the blanket and draped it over us and pulled me into his side.
We lay there for a long while, holding each other and coming down from our high until he finally spoke in a low, choked voice.
"I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, Bella."
"I don't want to think about tomorrow."
Was it everything you thought it would be? Yes? No? Tell me!
Review, please! They mean so, so very much to me!
And if you haven't already checked it out, I've started another story based off of one of my one-shots. What can I say, I have author's ADD.