One Piece and all of its related characters and devices are the property of Eiichiro Oda, Toei Animation, and FUNimation Entertainment. I own nothing and am making zilch by writing this. Thank you!

This just popped out of nowhere. Sorry for Kid's potty mouth, but it seemed to suit him. Maybe I'll do a follow-up from Law's POV…


Loose Lips

So, you wanna hear about the Tenryuubito incident, huh? Fuck if I care. Ah, what the hell? Just buy me a drink.

Thing you want to know about pirates is that we may be scum, but most of us aren't looking for trouble. Yeah, we'll talk big about how many people we've killed, how many Marine ships we've fucked. We don't have bounties cause of our good looks. But most pirate scum don't aim higher than a fist full of beries and some good rum. Fuck em. You don't aim high, you die. Fucking poetic huh?

Me? Hell, I've always aimed high. Blame it on my old man. He was a pirate 'fore the Grand Line got to him and ran off with his fucking tail between his legs. Took to drinking and took it all out on me and mum. Mostly mum. Every day, I saw her get duller. Fuck, even her hair, was fiery red once but then got duller over time. That's where I got mine from, you know. Took some growing, but finally I didn't take his shit anymore and busted him. Best fucking day of my life, seeing that bastard sprawled on the floor bleeding from his head. I spat on him and left. Ran off to sea. Sky's the limit out here. Mum used to tell me stories about One Piece and Gold Roger. That guy, he aimed big and now look: isn't a man in the world that doesn't know him and his legendary treasure, One Piece. Whoever finds it is gonna be bigger than Roger. New King of the Pirates, that's the shit.

God, where was I? Yeah, the Human Shop. Worst fucking place. You see, everyone fucking hates the people on top. You know, the Tenryuubito. Scum of the earth. People take their shit everyday and it's not even like they're worth it. Someone's stronger, someone you can respect, hell, they can do what they want. But fuck, those shitty weaklings have their foot on everyone and no one fucking does a thing! Fuck the system, but no one's stupid enough to mess with it. No one but Straw Hat.

I'd seen his bounty and hell, I'd heard the stories. Enies Lobby, man! You wouldn't even know it from seeing his bounty poster. First time I saw it, I couldn't fucking believe it. There was this goofy-looking kid grinning at the camera. Hell, he looked like he wouldn't even hurt a fly, much less the entire Navy! Still, I wanted to see him face to face. You don't just declare war on the World Government without having some amazing guts. I wanted to see if he really was all that, not just some cocky kid playing war like everyone said.

At the Human Shop, crashing in like that? Couldn't fucking believe it. One minute I'm walking out and then - Bam! - there's this kid behind me yelling about the landing! Then of course it all went to hell when he started running to the tank where that mermaid was being sold. Shouldn't have shocked anyone, that fishman getting shot…hey, it's a fucked up world, right? Worst part was, everyone just went along with it. Those fucking stuffed shirts that smile and nod at whatever perverse thing society says, they're the fucking problem. Not us. Fuck, we're scum of the earth but at least we have the fucking decency to admit it! Like my old man. That fucker could beat the shit out of a scared woman and brat, but someone hoists a pirate flag and everyone acts like you're a fucking monster. Shit, it's just…

Anyway, any blind idiot could've seen the killing intent coming off that kid when his friend got gunned down. No one saw it coming, though, that's the funny part. It was just so unbelievable, someone actually having the balls to fuck with a Tenryuubito like that! Hell, I wanted to scream out laughing when that fat fuck got his face knocked clean in! That kid had no fear, no fucking fear at all! That's when I knew this kid wasn't just playing pirate. He was the real thing and I didn't have to do anything but watch.

The icing on the cake was the fact that his crew just went along with it. Those brats just started taking the whole fucking shop apart. Hell, this was better than anything I'd seen up to then. That guy, Trafalgar Law, just sat back and enjoyed the show, too. Must've been equally impressed.

Then Silvers Rayleigh came into the picture. Whole place was going to hell and he just strolls out and takes everyone out with some killer haki. Never expected an old-timer like him to still be around. Goes to show you how weird the sea can be.

Course by then the Marines had the place surrounded and hell if I was gonna wait for an Admiral to show up. So I was gonna make a clean getaway and, since I was in a good mood after that show Straw Hat gave, was even gonna be nice and take care of the Marines for the other two. For some reason, that just pissed them off and next thing I know we're all facing the Marines together, showing off our stuff. Yeah, I guess the whole "taking care of things for them" was gonna be my way of showing off but hell it's hard showing up someone who just took out a Tenryuubito in public! That bastard Trafalgar was probably feeling the same need to show Straw Hat that we weren't all talk.

That's when he said what I'd been waiting to hear since I set out for the Grand Line. He was going after One Piece, we all were. First time I felt…excited to face someone! Fuck, all of the pathetic wastes I'd fought up to that time were just cowards and bullies, like my old man: the kind that spat on dreams cause they couldn't stand on their own. When I meet Straw Hat again, it'll be brutal. Neither of us is gonna hold back, same with Trafalgar, but that's the whole point. You don't hold back when you aim high! Those guys, fuck I can't wait, I just can't fucking wait to fight them!

Man, really overdid it, huh? Tell anyone about this and I swear I'll fucking kill you! Shit, don't be like that. We've got a rep is all. We're pirates. You see anyone just tell 'em…tell 'em I'm out here and I'm ready to take on anyone. Even Straw Hat. Scratch that, especially Straw Hat. You see him…tell him Eustass Captain Kid's out here and he's waiting. You got that? Now fucking finish your drink and get the hell out of my sight!