Benjamin Redfield was, at five years of age, inquisitive as children usually are.

Chris Redfield, wanting to be a good dad, decided that his son might be interested in a rock and gem set and purchased one, hoping to start some kind of life-long affection for the subject. After all, any parent would be thrilled if their offspring grew up to be a world-famous geologist…

The two sat at the table as Ben pawed over the crystals and various rocks until he came to a small tube filled with what appeared to be black soot.

"Dad, what's this?" he asked, holding it up. Chris squinted at the tiny label on the tube.

"Says here that it's volcanic ash." He answered. Ben's eyes lit up.

"Cool! What would happen if we added water to it? Teacher says if you add water to some kinds of rocks and stuff, they can explode!" He nattered out.

Benjamin Redfield was, as most boys are, fascinated by explosions.

Chris laughed and ruffled his son's hair "why don't we add some and find out?" He suggested, fairly certain it wouldn't explode.

"Awesome!" Ben yelled, almost punching the air in excitement.

The father and son added the water to the volcanic ash, but sadly for Ben, nothing occurred…

Until the next day…

"DAD! DAD!" Ben yelled from the living room, and Chris immediately ran in, looking around to make sure no immediate danger was the cause of his son's distress.

"What's wrong?" He asked the boy, who then pointed to the jar which they had put the ash and water in the night before. Curious, Chris picked it up and looked inside…

"Chriiiiiiis! I'll kill you!" Squeaked a tiny voice from the jar.

The former BSAA agent stared for a very long time and just managed to set the jar down before he more or less fell into a chair.

"Dad?' Asked Ben, tugging his father's shirt sleeve "What is that?" Chris just shook his head.

"Reconstituted Wesker."


This is intended to parody all the stories where Wesker somehow survives his volcanic ordeal and ends up mostly unscathed. I thought; if they can come up with stupid ideas, I can come up with one that's even stupider. My idea is that even if you did manage to reconstitute Wesker, his mass would have decreased significantly… He's not half the man he used to be. :D

No offense intended if you have written a GOOD story where he lives (not that it's very likely.)