A/N: I've been talking about writing this for so long. Yes, 50th story! Of course, it's Edge.
"You want me to what?"
Vince McMahon looked like he was trying to hide his smile. "You've been selected to star in a commercial."
"Yeah, but in the commercial." Adam frowned. "What do you want me to do?"
"Well, it's... a shampoo commercial." He shrugged. "So you're expected to wash your hair and enjoy it."
"A shampoo commercial?" Adam fell into the chair behind him. "Why me? Why didn't you pick your son-in-law or lap dog?"
Vince's face tightened slightly. "Paul refused and have you seen Cena's hair?"
"Nah, I can't see him."
Vince snorted slightly. "Let me put it this way—you're doing the commercial. Be over at the studio at ten AM tomorrow."
Adam let out a long breath. "I can't refuse?"
"If you refuse, don't bother coming in for the taping."
"If you consider unemployment a paycheck."
Adam nodded, standing up. "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
"Oh, I won't be there."
He stopped. "I thought this was a company thing."
Vince looked up from his papers, mouth open slightly. "Is all that hair clogging your brain?"
Adam blinked at him.
Vince's hands hit his desk. "You're going to be in a shampoo commercial. Do you think the WWE markets shampoo?"
"Herbal Edgesence?" Adam grinned.
"Get out of my office, Copeland."
"Oh, Vince was right, your hair is fabulous." The hair stylist that was currently fluffing Adam's hair up bent down and smelled it. "But you need a new shampoo."
Adam frowned at his reflection. "I use... I don't know what it's called."
"Probably a typical guy shampoo. Although, your hair is too perfect for that generic shit." He smelled it again. "Pantene?"
"Are we finished?" Adam stood up. "I need to rehearse my lines."
"Oh, you don't have lines, honey."
Adam blinked. "Huh?"
"This is a shampoo commercial. We're getting your scrumptious body wet and soapy and all your handsome face has to do is look delish."
"That won't be hard," Adam smirked.
"It certainly won't." The stylist fixed a curl. "There. You're perfect. Now go get into costume, dollface."
"All I'm wearing is a towel?" Adam looked down at the flimsy terry cloth that was barely wrapped around his waist. "How can I move in this? I have to hold it just to keep it on!"
"No one's going to complain if you let go, sugar." Amber Wright, the director, smiled up at him. "But for the shower scene you get to wear board shorts. We're only filming above the waist, anyway."
"What scene is this, then?"
"The after shower scene." She pulled open the curtain. "You're going to put the towel on and get out, then speak directly to the camera."
"I thought I had no lines."
"You don't. It's impromptu. The only requirements is that you plug your name, your company, your profession, and our shampoo."
Adam blanched. "I don't know if I can do this."
"Don't worry. We have surprise guest for you at the end."
He started to smirk. "Will she be wearing a towel, too?"
"Who says it's a girl?"
Adam's face fell. "I'm doing a shower commercial with a guy?"
"I didn't say that. Now shut up and get naked."
The pipes turned off, steam rising behind the curtain. Adam reached awkwardly and snagged the towel hanging on the rack beside the shower, wrapping it around his waist as he stepped out.
His eyes fell on the camera as he pushed his hair back. "Oh, hello. I'm Adam Copeland."
He made his way over to the sink, beginning to comb his hair in the mirror. "I'm a professional wrestler for the WWE, and when I come home after a long week of nonstop awesomeness, I like to take a nice, hot shower with Herbal Edgesence—"
Adam frowned. "What?"
"You said it wrong. It's Essence."
"Oh. My bad."
"Don't worry about it. Just pick up from there." Amber settled back into her director's chair. "Roll camera."
Adam waited for her to point at him before he continued. "I like to take a nice, hot shower with Herbal Edgesence—"
"You said it again, Copeland!" The director sighed. "Jesus. We haven't had this much trouble since we made that commercial for shaving cream with Jack Swagger."
Adam pushed his hair back. "Okay. One more try."
"Fine. Roll camera."
"I like to take a nice, hot shower with Herbal Edge—"
Adam groaned. "I'm sorry! I can't help it."
The director shook her head. "All right. We'll just queue the special guest. Say your line again."
Adam nodded. "I like to take a nice, hot shower with Herbal Edgesence—" He was taken aback when someone ran up and sprayed a bottle of baby powder in his eyes. Through the dust, he saw someone wave his hand in front of his face.
"You can't see me!" Cena yelled, then ran off set.
Adam coughed and coughed, wiping it from his cheeks. "What the hell was that!?"
"That," the director started, standing up, "was perfect. We're all done here, Mr. Copeland. Thanks for everything."
"But, but, but—"
"You can get changed now."
"But what about my shower scene!"
The director frowned. "Oh, John can take over from here. Thanks for everything."
"That asshole doesn't even have hair!"
"He's the biggest star on RAW."
"So? You asked me to do this commercial!"
"We just think Cena will be a better candidate."
Adam gaped at her. "But you can't even see him!"
"Very funny, Mr. Copeland. Your clothes are in the make-up room."
"This is preposterous!" He pointed at Cena, who was getting ready. "You ruin my life!"
Cena shrugged, making a stupid face.
Adam's blood boiled. "This is WRONG! WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!"
The director paused. "Wait. Do that again."
"This is WRONG! WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!"
Amber nodded. "You're right. You should be in this commercial."
"Damn right I should be!"
She looked at Cena. "You're getting the baby powder in your face."
"What?" Cena gasped. "Me? John Cena?"
"Yep. And Adam's going to do it."
Adam rolled his eyes. "Cena, we all know you take it up the coat, you don't need to advertise it."
John glared at him, then back at the director. "This isn't fair! He's a bad guy! You can't do this to me!"
"It's you can't see me, John," Adam snorted. "Get it right."
A/N: I honestly wrote 5 more pages after this just making fun of Cena, but I decided to end it here because Edge always has the upper hand. Review.