Title: There's A Muffin In My Soup

Genre: Humor

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: AU-ish. EuphieLulu, SuzaEuphie, and SuzaLulu. Complete and utter crack. A few curse words. OOCness most surely abounds. xD

Summary: Suzaku couldn't help but think he had stepped into some sort of bizarre parallel universe where his darling princess Euphemia was the evil villain and the genius terrorist Zero was the damsel-in-distress. // "But I just want to show you my love!" "That's too much love!!"

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass…aren't you so glad. xD

Serena: I'm in love with that title. LAWL. This is going to be a collection of what-if crack fics that have been written on a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing. xD This one was pure love and I don't know who I feel sorry for the most: Euphemia, Lelouch, or Suzaku.

Code 1: The Power of Love Compels Me!!

By: Serena the Hikari of Love

Euphemia giggled and rolled her eyes.

"What are you saying?" she asked, an amused smile playing across her lips. "You're being silly, Lelouch."

"No. I'm serious." Lelouch stated with a smile, his back to her. "If I wanted you to do something, you would have to do it regardless of your own personal feelings."

"Oh, really." Euphemia said, deciding to humor her brother. "How would you make me obey you then?"

"I have a special power that makes anyone I want bend to my will." Lelouch explained. "For instance, if I were to tell you" -he turned around to face her with that smile still on his face, his left eye glowing red- "to rip my clothes off and make me your boyfriend, you would do it no matter what."

Euphemia's eyes widened a bit and she brought a hand to her mouth as she stared at him.

"No, I…I couldn't do that." she mumbled, her lips turning downward as her other hand fisted into her dress. "That would be wrong…I-I can't do that!"

Lelouch blinked, his eyes narrowing slightly in confusion.

"Euphemia, what's wrong?" he asked, watching as she blushed and shook her head. "It was just an exam-oh no."

His pupils dilated as realization hit him.

'That pain from earlier…' he realized in horror, a hand wandering to his left eye. 'My Geass…it must have grown out of my control. I'm like Mao was!'

His flushed as he realized what order he had accidentally given her.

"Forget what I just said!!" he exclaimed, reaching out to grab her shoulders with a panicked look overtaking his features. "I was only kidding!! It wasn't a real command!! I take it back!!"

Euphemia stopped mumbling after a moment and then she tilted her head up at Lelouch and smiled sweetly.

For a moment, Lelouch thought the accidental command had been ignored.

"You're my boyfriend!!" Euphemia exclaimed, throwing her arms around Lelouch's neck and snuggling him.

But then that happened and all hell broke loose.


It had been far too long since Euphemia and Zero had left to chat in private and Suzaku was becoming worried.

Which was why he was walking down the hallways, his destination the room his princess and that terrorist were occupying.

He was well aware of the little call button Euphemia held in case Zero tried to do anything, but knowing that did nothing to help ease his worry.

The hallways were quiet, a bit too quiet in his opinion. Perhaps it was simply his paranoia kicking in, but the eerie silence in the hallways seemed ominous to him. He tried to tell himself that it was nothing to worry about, that Euphemia was fine, and that he was worrying over nothing.

Then he heard a scream.

Without bothering to contemplate on how non-Euphemia-like it sounded, he sprinted the remainder of the way to the room. He was about to call the guards when he heard a melodic giggling as well as another shriek.

His eyes narrowed, slight confusion swirling in their emerald depths as he reached the door. He abandoned calling the guards and opened the door.

What he saw made him freeze and wonder briefly if he had entered the right room.

Because he hadn't been expecting the scene he was playing audience to.

Chasing each other around the room as if playing some kind of weird chasing game was his sweet princess Euphemia…and Lelouch…wearing Zero's outfit minus the mask and cape.

Suzaku blinked in bewilderment as Euphemia giggled and made a grab for Lelouch, missing him by a few inches. Lelouch had a blush on his face and was desperately trying to keep himself away from Euphemia.

"E-Euphemia, I'm serious!" he said, running to the opposite end of the room and around a metallic table. "There's no way!!"

Euphemia pouted as she followed after him and placed her hands on the metallic table.

"But I just want to show you my love!" she stated, slowly moving to her left of the table as Lelouch moved to his left.

Lelouch groaned and his blush darkened.

"That's too much love!!" he argued, quickly running around the table as Euphemia darted at him.

"No, it's not!" Euphemia countered, placing a hand on her hip and pumping a fist into the air. "It's what lovers do! We must consummate our love!!"

"WHAT?!" Suzaku exclaimed, staring at the two in utter horror as both their heads snapped to him. "What the hell is going on here?!"

"Suzaku!" they both exclaimed.

"Save me!" Lelouch pleaded, his face adopting a teary-eyed look as he hid behind the table. "Make her stop!"

"Help me!" Euphemia exclaimed, her eyes blazing with passion. "Make him realize our love!"

"What? I don't understand what's going on here!" Suzaku stated. "Lelouch, why is Princess Euphemia chasing you and…why didn't you tell me you were Zero?!"

Lelouch cringed slightly at the harsh tone in Suzaku's voice and his eyes maintained their watery look as he hid himself further behind the table.

Euphemia gasped in horror.

"My love!!" she cried before pointing an accusatory finger at Suzaku. "You made my boyfriend cry!"

"Wha?! B-Boyfriend?!" Suzaku spluttered, a look of disbelief crossing his features. "But he's your brother!!" -then he frowned and appeared to sulk- "…and I thought I was your boyfriend…"

Euphemia blinked and lifted a finger to her chin.

"Oh…that's right." she muttered. "Hmm." -she snapped her fingers as an idea came to her- "I know! Let's share my brother!"

"WHAT?!" Lelouch squeaked, pulling himself up to stare at her in horror.

Suzaku blinked in surprise at Euphemia's suggestion and appeared thoughtful for a moment.

After a moment, he smiled at Euphemia and nodded his head.

"Alright." he agreed, causing a delighted squeal to pass Euphemia's lips. "I'm okay with that."

Lelouch gasped as Euphemia clapped.

"Suzaku, you freaking pervert!!" Lelouch whined. "This isn't fair…"

"Aw, c'mon, Lelouch. It's not that bad." Suzaku stated. "Don't lie and say that time in the hot tub wasn't fun."

Lelouch blushed.

"Y-You said you wouldn't bring that up again!"

Suzaku shrugged.

"I lied."

Euphemia giggled.

"Well, now that that has been taken care of…" -she turned and started floating over to Lelouch- "Let's get those clothes off of you!"

Lelouch shrieked again as Euphemia resumed her chase. Suzaku just shook his head at the sight, but didn't do anything to stop it as he had resigned himself to his fate.

He would be Euphemia's and Lelouch's boyfriend whether he wanted to be or not.

But he made a mental note to stop Euphemia from actually going through with her plans for consummating her love should she manage to catch Lelouch.

Which, at the rate he was running, might happen sometime quite soon.


Serena: I think I wrote something weird. XD [lolz at half-assed fic]