Written for the "Volturi Fanfic Contest" with the prompt word "Justice"

Author: Jane of Volterra

Title: Demetri's Misconception

Characters: Jane, Alec, Demetri, Felix

Genre: Comedy

Rating: K+

Short Summary: Finally, Jane is satisfied that Felix has paid for his own mistakes, not her. And she didn't even have to get her hands dirty.

Prologue: For the past week Demetri has been tormented by what he believes is the ever-present pranks of Jane and Alec. In the last three days alone, his drawers have been filled with honey, carpet been replaced with leopard spotted print, been sent death threats from various presidents from over 12 countries, but today was the final straw. He found his black Lamborghini smashed in the garage. Harsh.

Demetri didn't bother to knock before opening the door.

"I've had enough of you kids!" he screamed.

But the room was empty, apart from a stunned looking Marcus.

"Oh, sorry." He muttered, closing the door quickly before the Volturi leader had time to say anything. Demetri sprinted down the hall, whilst Marcus just stood there, dumbstruck.

Demetri ran downstairs and out the door, across the courtyard and into the second wing of the castle to check in Jane's room. He growled, flinging open the door, anger glinting in his eyes. But it was empty again, no sign of Jane or Alec. Demetri tried to pick up on the tenor of her mind, but was distracted. Jane's eerie look-alike antique doll (even made with a lock of her real hair) was staring right down at him, bearing such likeness to the girl (even with the same dress) that it was just plain creepy. Demetri shivered and slammed the door behind him. Muddled, he realized he needed to go back in there to find the girl's thoughts.

He walked into the room, and sat on her unused bed, gazing around the room. He realized with a jolt of shock that the doll's head had moved; now staring right at him again.

"Jane..." he growled warningly. Her evil cackle echoed throughout the room, yet Demetri could not pick up a scent. He shut his eyes, concentrating hard. He opened them again, and walked over to the desk. It was a sick drawing of the twins hunting, playing in a blood-filled landscape. Demetri's mouth filled with venom, as he hadn't realized he was so thirsty. But then he had a brainwave. Tearing his eyes from the picture, he left the room.

When he found Alec, the boy was sitting in a corner, playing knuckles with werewolf teeth he had pulled out neatly himself.

"What?" Alec asked boredly.

"Where's Jane?"

"None of your business." He smirked.

"And you wonder why I hate kids..." Demetri muttered.

Alec pretended not to notice, and continued playing his game.

"Look, I don't have all day. Are you going to tell me where she is or not?"

"Nope." Demetri took three deep breaths, attempting to calm himself. He walked away, but couldn't help himself, and "accidentally" kicked out Alec's teeth (the werewolf ones, not his actual teeth that would be ridiculous).

The boy glared at his before disappearing, leaving nothing but his distinct scent of chocolate pudding behind him.

Demetri looked out the window into the courtyard.

"Gotcha." He whispered. He launched himself out of the window and landed on the gravel without making a sound. But Jane heard. She gasped, dropping her doll to the floor, eyes narrowing. But Demetri was quicker. He snatched up the doll, holding it by the hair. Jane cried out and reached for it, but Demetri's massive figure gave him the advantage. He smiled at her.

"Is something wrong, Janie?" he asked uncaringly, "because I'm sure glad it isn't me who's going to get in all this trouble."

"This time it will be." She said menacingly. Demetri would have laughed but he knew better as her eyes narrowed once more. Mustering all her strength, Jane took the chance, kicking him on the shins with the might of twelve bulldozers. It was just enough to momentarily distract him, and she grabbed the doll, and ran for it. Demetri regained composure quickly and lunged, just missing her by inches, crashing into the gravel, stirring up dust and knocking over a fountain. Jane closed the side door behind her, but he just went straight through it instead, splintering the wood to a million pieces. He jumped again, but this time failed to see the stairs, and went tumbling down them with carpet, several vases and a coffee table. All the commotion had causes a chandelier above Demetri to start rattling and shaking in its socket, and it finally came crashing down right on top of him, shattering loudly over the pile of furniture that had a distinct Demetri shape.

"I'll kill you." He muttered in pain.

"I'd like to see you try." She whispered, "Besides, I didn't do anything. I didn't saw no-one."

"What?" he groaned, "but who else would have done – Argh!" he screamed as Jane gave him a taster of her power.

"I said I didn't do it."

"Okay...." he moaned, "You didn't do it."

"Oh I know I didn't," she smiled sweetly momentarily before growling, "Felix did."

Then she vanished into thin air, leaving nothing but the sweet scent of lilies behind her.


"What?" scoffed Felix, turning around to glare at the sweet little girl who appeared on the chair next to him.

"Do you believe in it?"

He sighed and went back to his encyclopedia of human anatomy; volume thirty-six, page one thousand and twenty three. "What's it to you, anyway?" he tried to continue reading, but her creepy little eyes on him wasn't the least bit distracting.

"Isn't it okay to ask a simple question around here?" asked Jane.

"In case you haven't noticed, Jane, I'm very busy right now."

"Evidently," she snorted, dodging the encyclopedia as it headed straight for her forehead, "But don't you think that Demetri's in a splendid mood this morning?" she asked, acting like nothing had happened. Felix smirked.

"I wonder why that might be?" she pretended to wonder innocently, when BANG and Demetri blasted through another wall.

"You have to stop doing that." Muttered Jane.

Demetri's red eyes had a look of murder in them as he gazed around the room. Spotting Felix, he leapt into action, tackling to the floor and twisting his arms behind his back. Alec came downstairs after hearing the commotion and stood watching amusedly from the Demetri-shaped hole in the wall. His small body was about half the size of the bulky, muscled shape.

Over the next hour, the twins watched Demetri slowly dismember Felix's body into tiny stone pieces. They weren't concerned if Felix never had the guts to repair himself. Jane was happy. Finally, justice had been served, and she didn't even have to get her hands dirty. It might also mean less of the arrogant stupid annoying killjoy. The vampire would know that it would take about a century, maybe longer, for Demetri to forgive him. He might just lay there as a pile of rocks for a while instead.