Written by RogueMoon

AU: Earth 1094, the FABULOUS Reality

Based on a totally random conversation with Nicole Wagner


Remy Entinne Essex-LeBeau, famous the world over for his creations in hair design, owner of the exclusive salon 'The Gambit', and ranking as Cosmo's number one most eligible bachelor three years running, had no idea how family could make him feel so incredably worthless. There he was, successful, attractive, making his mark on the world... and his family was ignoring him completely. Engrossed in a Mythbuster's marathon. He could blow up stuff easier than the two flatliners and with more style. But no... his pere and soeur wanted to watch the humans do it.

"Oooo! They're going blow up a plane!" The uncharacteristicly giddy voice of Nathaniel Michael Essex was accompianied by the eager shriek of his daughter, Alisa Brex Essex-LeBeau.

"I can blow up a plane," Remy muttered.

"Shush boy," his father replied with a frown, waving at him to go away.

Alisa snickered, "De dummy looks like Remy... but smarter!"

"'Least I ain' still a virgin!" Remy grumbled, shuffling some cards as he scrunched down on the couch. Really, was it so much to ask that his family pay him some attention when he finally had the free time to come visit?

Doctor Essex, a.k.a. 'Mr. Sinister' – a name taken as his nom de gurre for a series of dystopian science fiction where mutants were outcasts of society and feared and hated by the world – patted his daughter on the head and flipped out a platnium card, "I'm so proud of you Alisa. You stay a virgin forever and never let a man touch you. Here's a credit card, buy yourself something nice." His eyes didn't stray from the television, "As for you, Remy. Go... smoke a cigarette or something. Not in lab."

Alisa took the credit card and bolted out the door while Remy crossed his arms and pouted. Oh, if the world could see him like this...

"Seriously, pere," he muttered, waving at the screen. "We can do a much better job wit' dese myths. Pick one, any one, and we could do it wit' more style and flare."

"But it wouldn't be the same as watching them do it, Remy," Essex replied with exasperation. His son simply didn't understand.

Alisa popped her head back through the door, "Daddy! I bought some plutoninum! It'll be delivered tomarrow, is there any room for it?"

The show went to commercial and Nathaniel smiled at his little girl, "We can always make room, dear."

Remy huffed and Sinister shot him a frown, "My boy, you are not a child anymore. Do stop acting like one."

"Neither is Alisa, but you butter her up like a Christmas Turkey."

"That is simply not true. Alisa is eighteen, clearly still a child."

The red-eyed thief of hearts gave his father an incredulous look, one eyebrow raised, "Ya do know a body is legaly an adult at Eighteen?"

Sinister waved the comment away, his attention back on his show, "Legality and reality are vastly different animals, Remy. Get to blowing up the plane, already!"

"Are they blowing it up, yet?" Alisa's voice echoed into the room.


"Call me when they do!"

"Yes, dear!"

Remy shook his head, "She got ya wrapped around her little finger, pere."

"Shush boy, Daddy's watching Mythbusters."