I wrote this for the Shirtless Booth Challenge down at the Boneyard. Obviously, Booth is shirtless in it. :)
When is the last time I've had a picnic? A few decades ago? I think I can still remember it if I dig into my memories hard enough. Ruth and I made peanut butter and jam sandwiches, cut them into little triangles, and piled them in a big old-fashioned basket. Russ and Tempe ate almost all of them by themselves while we grown-ups were left with the spinach salad.
Again, I owe Booth for convincing Tempe to come, God bless him. She was set on working the whole day, but the young man looked at her with his dangerously effective smile and told her "Come on Bones, you can take a Sunday off, huh? It'll be fun, bonding with your father and all that. I think it's a great idea Max, you force her to eat and to catch up with her family at the same time."
She gave in, of course. She always seems to give in when Booth asked her nicely. As we left, I mouthed a silent thank you to him behind her back. He gave me the thumbs up and happily trotted off to pick up Parker for the day.
It's reassuring to know somebody like Booth is taking care of my daughter, and that if I ever left her again he would probably hunt me down just to kick my ass. He's everything I could wish for as a son-in-law. Kind, charming, understanding, handsome, surprisingly full of principles for an FBI agent, and madly in love with my girl. I have absolutely no clue why they aren't sleeping together. It's more than a little confusing.
"Tempe, can I talk to you for a moment?" I accosted her after Russ, Amy, and their girls waved goodbye.
"Yes, certainly. Is something wrong?"
"No, no." We walked around the park, watching children playing soccer and swimming in the pool. "I just think we need to talk about you and Booth."
"Booth?" she answered cautiously, "Why do you want to talk about Booth? Our partnership is quite functional. Or are you still upset he arrested you? He swore you followed him willingly."
"Honey, it's not about your partnership with the g-man. You're in love with him, he's in love with you, and I really don't understand why the two of you aren't together. That's what I want to talk about." She likes bluntness, so I decided not to dance around the subject.
"What? He's... I'm..." she stuttered, "We're not in love with each other, what are you talking about??
"Really? Not even a little bit? Is he not attractive enough for you? I asked him and he said you were beaut..."
"You asked Booth if we were sleeping together? Are you mad?"
"Hey, I was curious, it's no crime to ask. That reminds me, I need to ask you something. Please answer honestly and to the best of your knowledge, alright?"
"What?" she wasn't exasperated yet, just a little flustered. Hopefully a good sign.
"Is Booth gay?" My question was dead serious but I think she thought I was kidding.
"No." She rolled her eyes.
"Are you completely sure?"
"He has a son. In conclusion, he is most certainly not."
"Then I don't understand why the two of you aren't sleeping together. I just don't."
Their hesitation makes no sense. Aren't people supposed to be more casual recently? Of course Booth is a Catholic but if he had a child out of wedlock religion can't be the reason either. Is it my fault? Is she still scared of loving somebody?
I think the exhasperation is coming now.
"Well first of all, our individual professions obviously means a sexual relationship has the potential to disrupt the balance of..." she never finished her answer because at that exact moment a loud little voice interrupted her in mid-sentence.
"Hey dad! Dad, look! It's Bones and Bones's dad over there! Bones! Max!"
We both turned to our right and watched as Parker Booth climbed out of the public swimming pool, running straight in our direction through the opening in the fence.
"Why, hello Parker," I said as I crouched down to his level, "What are you doing here?"
"I'm swimming with my dad," he beamed, "What are you guys doing here?"
"Oh, I was just having a walk with our lovely Dr. Bones," I replied.
I peeked behind the boy and saw Booth walk our way with the eyes of every single female in the vicinity glued to his tall wet frame. Including my daughter's, I noted with satisfaction when I glanced up at her face. I'm fairly sure this is a good sign.
We both spread our towels on the ground and looked around to see if there were any hot single guys.
"What about that one? The cute blond one," I pointed. Jessica barely spared him a glance.
"Meh, he's kinda too young," she told me as she rubbed on her sunscreen.
"Well what about that one over there who's playing with the little boy?"
"Oooh, that one is gorgeous, I gotta admit." She squinted at him through her sunglasses.
"Meh, he's kinda old, though." I shrugged.
"Are you kidding? He's the perfect age." She sat up, suddenly looking extremely interested. "He's like, the tall, dark, and handsome kind. That is so my type. And what do you have against older men? George Clooney is hot."
"Pff, gimme a break." I replied. George Clooney is like, sooo overrated. My god. Why do people love him so much?
"Hey, don't bash George. He's way better than your girly little Zac Efron,"she snapped back.
"Zac is not girly! You're so mean! He's totally fine, and..."
"Who cares, who cares. Let's talk about the hottie who's right in front of us." Jessica seriously did seem interested in him. "I bet he's single. He's just got that really sexy single-dad vibe on him."
"Sexy single-dad vibe? Yeah right. You totally just made that up."
"Nuh-uh. There's like, nothing sexier than a sexy single-dad except hockey players and FBI agents on TV and stuff. I've got a sixth sense about these things, I tell you this one must be single."
"My old neighbor was an FBI agent. He was pretty cute. Married, though."
"I bet this one is sexier than your neighbor," she said before the man we were both staring at came out of the water.
"Jesus Christ," Jessica choked out.
"Yeah... Hell yeah," I agreed.
"I take back what I said. There is no way this guy is single," she whispered.
"Why? He looks like a sexy single-dad and an FBI agent and a hockey player," I whispered back. Look at those biceps. How could I call him too old? Have I ever been more wrong in my life? I want to lick off every single drop of water sparkling on the skin of his beautiful chest.
"The good ones are always taken, Bea. Always. This one is too good to be true, either he is already married or he's gay. He has a kid, so obviously that's already a sign that he's taken. Even if he was gay he'd be taken too." She's got a point. I can't see why this man couldn't land any girl he wants. Or man. Or both.
"Damn, I think you're right, he started to talk to the woman behind the fence. You think it's the kid's mom?"
"Aw crap, she's actually pretty."
"That's like, such a shame."
Parker dashed out of the swimming pool and onto the grass covered park, making me ponder whether such behavior fell within pool regulations. He wore a light blue bathing suit with a yellow rectangular cartoon character on the left side. He seemed quite happy to see us.
"Why, hello Parker, what are you doing here?" Max questioned as he crouched down to meet the boy's eyes.
"I'm swimming with my dad," replied Parker. I scanned the area, searching for my partner, recalling Booth's cheerful mood this morning when he told me his plan to take Parker to the swimming pool, and then to dinner, and then to a movie, and then finally ice cream.
Booth waved at us from inside the pool and lifted himself onto the...
I should not have been so stupefied. I really shouldn't have been.
I perfectly knew how much Booth is a beautiful male specimen, of course.
Yes, he definitely is beautiful.
My God, he's coming this way, what do I do? I can't seem to stop staring.
He was smiling his usual heartwarming smile, looking completely unaware of the effect his physical appearance was having on every woman who had unsuspectingly laid their eyes on him from the instant he emerged from the water.
I felt amazingly stupid, gaping at his exposed skin with my eyes as round as nickels. I mean, this isn't even the first time I've seen him with his shirt off. I've seen him naked in his bathtub before, though my anger had kept me from enjoying the view properly, but this was different. The sun reflected on every droplet of water nestled on his well defined muscles, glistening as they rolled off his torso. He heedlessly passed a hand through his hair, making it stand up in wet tousled spikes that for some reason seemed immeasurably attractive. I felt slightly disinclined to share this manly apparition with the other women around the pool until he stood right next to me, close enough for me to smell the chlorine on his skin and examine the scars marking his otherwise soft, toned, and perfectly textured chest. Then I felt a little smug, knowing the other females admiring this man were more than likely seething with jealousy.
"Hey Bones. Hey Max," he greeted us, obviously without noticing the venomous glances I received from a number of young bikini-clad girls.
"Hello Booth," said Max with a smile, "What a coincidence, huh?""Yeah, I had no idea you guys would end up in here too."
I suddenly felt suspicious. Did Max know where Booth and Parker would be today? Had he purposefully strolled towards the public pool, knowing full well who would be waiting for us there?
Booth simply looked happy to see us, he was apparently in the dark like me. Parker on the other hand, grinned at us mischievously before discreetly winking at Max.
My father and Parker set this up?
"So how was the picnic?"
"Good, it was great. And you boys? How is the water?" I barely heard what they were saying. I still couldn't rip my eyes away from Booth's exposed skin. This could potentially become very embarrassing.
"You know," Parker told us, "When daddy doesn't wear shirts, all the ladies always stare at him a lot. I always wonder why." He sounded genuinely baffled. Max roared with laughter while Booth stood awkwardly looking at his son.
"Uh, buddy,"Booth finally intervened, "I'm not sure this is an appropriate thing to say. I mean, Bones is a lady and she's not staring at me a lot, right?"
"What?" My head snapped up as I was caught openly ogling the glorious chest in front of me.
"No, Tempe isn't staring at you. Not at all," my dad told Booth. His grin irritated me immensely.
"Well, um, it was nice seeing you two," Booth mumbled, "Have a nice day. Say bye, Parker."
Booth quickly retreated back to the swimming pool carrying Parker under his arm, the little boy squealing with delight as his father threw him into the water with a big splash, both of them laughing like they were alone in the world. Booth followed the boy into the water, to my utmost chagrin. I will have a picture of him in his swimming suit engraved in my memory for the rest of my life, now. I'll also have trouble falling asleep tonight.
"So," Max murmured contentedly in my ear, "Why exactly aren't you two sleeping together again?"
"Shut up," I snapped.
"Dad?" I asked my dad.
"Why did Bones turn all red every time she looked at you?"
Girls get embarrassed sometimes. My mom does when my grandma yells "why on earth didn't you marry him, you fool?" or when I asked her about where babies come from, but I don't think Bones has ever been nervous like this before.
That's weird, daddy started blushing too.
The "random bimbos by the pool" was the most fun I've ever had with a POV. Ever. Maybe some of you think "Hey, I would've done the same thing and I don't like being called a bimbo." Well don't say you're not a bimbo, if you clicked on this fic on the first place it was only to read the description of Booth's glistening chest. Right? Admit it. We're all Booth's Bimbos here. (Doesn't that have a nice ring to it?)