A.N. What If Brendan Refused The Offer Of An Early Release? And Why? Ok, So That's An Excuse. I Just Really Needed Him To Be There For This Idea To Play Out. Ive Been Wanting To Write A "Borstal Boy" Fiction Since I First Saw The Film, So Fingers Crossed It Works! So Basically, Not Much Happens In This Chapter, But It Will Soon, I Promise!
"Well, Behan? What do you say?"
Brendan raised his head slowly, eyes looking up from their point of interest on the floor.
The man looked appalled.
"No? Well, what on earth do you mean, no? I don't think you understood. Were granting you an early release, on the grounds you agree not to fight the English – at least until the war is over."
Brendan looked upwards slightly, head tilted to one side, as though considering the offer further. And, to the untrained observer, that was exactly what he was doing.
Joyce became exasperated quickly, as was habit with him. He studied Brendan's face, as though it were to scream at him why this offer would be unacceptable.
"It's awful nice of you sir, it is, but I have no life on the outside of this borstal. What is the point in leaving, if I am better off in here?"
Brendan's face sunk back to the floor like the HMS Prince Of Wales 53 sunk to the floor of the ocean. Devastatingly.
Joyce did not understand what Brendan meant. Had he not tried to escape the borstal before? He must have had something to go back to if he had wanted to leave so terribly. Yes, he had tried to escape, for that was when those two boys died… Joyce's thoughts trailed off as his mind recognised what must be the cause of Brendan's pain. Charlie Millwall. The boy had died recently and he knew that he and Brendan were close. Everyone did. As though he could read his mind, Brendan looked up, and his soulful eyes met those sympathetic ones of Joyce. He spoke.
"Sir, no life is worth living anymore if I don't have Charlie. And I don't. So my life, on the outside, isn't worth living. My life inside this borstal is bad enough, but outside it'll just get even worse."
Brendan, Joyce and the other man in the room all stood in silence.
"I loved Charlie."
"I know, Brendan. I think we all do."
On return to the dorm…
"Hey, Brendan, you're back! So what did they want, the old bastards?" Jock started chatting animatedly. He had really come out of his shell since Brendan's arrival, ever more so on Charlie's departure from the borstal. He felt it his duty as a friend to keep Brendan's spirits up during recent times.
Brendan let his body flop onto the bed with a loud sigh and complimentary groan. Jock started to feel worried for his friend. He didn't want him to be in any trouble, he didn't deserve that, and he definitely didn't need it right now. He wondered if it may be anything to do with Dale. Just as he was thinking this, the devil himself entered the room.
"What's up with you, Irish? Feeling run down?" Dale smirked.
"Oi, shut it Dale. Come on, Brendan, what's up? What did they want?"
Brendan raised his head and higher back, propped his pillows upwards and leaned against them. He placed a cigarette in the right corner of his mouth, lit expertly, and took a long drag. After some seconds, he removed the cigarette from his mouth, exhaled smoke into the air and said – "They granted me an early release. Said I could be back home in Dublin within a couple of days."
Jock was ecstatic for his friend. "Well, that's great Brendan, I mean… isn't it?"
Brendan gave the same reply he had given to Joyce and the Officer not 10 minutes before.
Brendan knew he would gain exactly the same reaction from Jock as he had from Joyce, so before he could speak he continued. Again, with the exact same response he had given Joyce and the Officer not 10 minutes before.
"No life is worth living anymore if I don't have Charlie. And I don't. So my life, on the outside, isn't worth living. My life inside this borstal is bad enough, but outside it'll just get even worse."
Jock's face fell. He knew Brendan loved Charlie, hell, everyone knew that. He knew it cut Brendan up that Charlie was gone, hell, everyone knew that. He knew Brendan was kicking himself for what happened to Charlie, hell, everyone knew that. But Jock, unlike everyone else, knew that Brendan would suffocate if left in this borstal without Charlie for too long. Brendan thought he could survive the borstal as he had before but Jock knew differently. Jock knew Brendan had only survived the borstal before as he had Charlie, or at least the knowledge that Charlie was ok. That he was safe. Now, he was gone.
He told Brendan all of this. "… and although you're my friend and I will miss you terribly, you need to get out of here Brendan. It's like God's handing you a silver platter saying 'this is what we got for you kid, take it'. If you take this chance, you'll regret it for some time to come. But if you don't, you won't regret your choice for that long because you wont be alive that long. You can't survive this place without him Brendan."
A figure at the door smiled whole-heartedly, touched by Jock's sensitivity. Even more touched by Brendan's slight nod to confirm.
"Well then, it's a bloody god job I'm 'ere, aint it?"
All occupants glanced towards the door of the dorm and looked up into the face of one Charlie Millwall.
Not really any amount of time later, I just felt like it needed closure…
"Charles bloomin' Millwall!"
It seemed as though everyone shouted at once. But the only reaction that mattered to Charlie was that of Brendan. The silent, crying, disbelieving face of Brendan.
"Charlie, what, what… erm, I mean… WHAT THE HELL, CHARLIE?"
Charlie jumped back in shock at Brendan's sudden outburst.
"I wasn't on that ship"
"How can you be here if there were no survivors…"
"Brendan, will you listen to me, china? I wasn't on the ship." Charlie stated monosyllabically, holding onto Brendan's shoulders.
"Weren't on the ship? But, how? I thought the only reason they let you out of here was to go to bloody Singapore?"
Charlie managed a slight smile. "Yes, I was on the ship, but not the day it sank. That morning the other lads had sent me out for some booze, right, and decided to play a little practical on me. I come back to the docks, ships gone with a note explaining what they'd done. They were gunna sail for a few miles then come back but… they never made it." Charlie finished sadly.
"But… but that means you're alive! And that I'm not dreaming! Oh my god, Charlie!"
Brendan lightened up immediately at his rather slow realisation. Without wasting a second, he wrapped his rather muscular arms around Charlie's chest.
"Jeez, Brendan china, I don't want this to sound like a line, but have you been working out?"
Brendan giggled. "Yeah, since you left I've been trying to find things to do with my time, its not easy being lonely you… OI!" he slapped Charlie's arm hard
"OW! Brendan, what the hell was that for?!"
"Charlie, you've been 'dead' for ages! You couldn't have WROTE? You couldn't have let us, your friends, know you were ok?" at the word 'friends', Brendan lost himself. He knew that wasn't what he wanted to be. He didn't even hear Charlie's apology.
"Look I'm sorry. I've just been really depressed with you 'dead' because I thought I was never going to see you again. And I was really angry that you gave Liz the necklace. It was supposed to keep YOU safe, not her. I thought I'd never get to say what really needed to be said."
Charlie looked Brendan up and down. He knew what he wanted him to say. He knew it wasn't likely he would say that. He wanted Brendan to tell him he loved him, to say that a part of him always had. He wanted him to say that he never wanted to be without him again. He wanted him to promise he would love him forever. But he knew that wasn't going to happen.
"Charlie, I love you. I think a part of me always has. I never want to be without you again. I'll always love you Charlie, forever."
Charlie raised one eyebrow. It was almost as though Brendan had read his mind.
"Did I hear you right? Did you just say…"
"Yes, yes I said that. I really do love you, Charlie. And whether you say it back or not, I'm gunna tell you everyday. Because I'm not gunna waste another chance."
The corners of Charlie's mouth tugged upwards and Charlie smirked.
"Well, in that case, the working out thing? I did mean it to sound like a line."
Brendan grinned, reached up and pulled Charlie's face to his. Their lips crashed together gently yet passionately as the other occupants of the dorm whooped and hollered. Brendan caressed Charlie's cheek with his thumb as they pulled apart. They stayed completely still for a moment, until their eyes flickered open at the exact same moment. Their eyelashes scraped past one another as their gazes met.
"Oh, and by the way? I love you too, china."
Soo? What Do You Think So Far? Too Short, Too Long, To Detailed, Not Detailed Enough? Again, Not Much Happened, But I Needed To Clear Up Where People Were And How Charlie And Brendan Were Both At Borstal For The Exciting Part XD. I'm Pretty Impressed With Myself Nonetheless. xoxo