Disclaimer: Belongs to Paramount
"You are disappointed."
Uhura laid fully clothed on the bed, her arms around Spock and her head on his chest. The hotel room was nothing extravagant, but she knew Spock had picked it with care as he did most things when it came to her. The bed was soft and comfy for them both, but not comfortable enough to stop the tension between the couple that lay in its midst.
"I'm not disappointed, Spock."
"Then are you distressed?"
"I'm not upset. I just want to know what is going on with you. Is this because of what happened tonight with Kirk?"
"I had planned this excursion long before our encounter with Kirk. He is inconsequential in my decision of my sharing this with you."
Uhura lifted herself up and rested her chin on her fingers to observe him. His breathing was easy. His dark eyes were deep in thought. He was as still as a tomb. He was hiding something from her.
"Look, I don't know how to say this to you but if we are going to be serious about one another we are going to have to share what's going on in our heads from time to time."
"I have been honest with you, Nyota."
"Not totally. There is something you're not saying."
Spock finally met her eyes and took in a deep breath.
"I…I am apprehensive that I will be unable to perform my duties as a good mate."
Nyota took his hand. "I don't get why Spock. You've been a great partner and a wonderful friend to me."
Spock turned his body to her and she snuggled closer into him. "You know of my brother, Sybok?"
And image of a young and extremely unhappy Vulcan came to her without her prompting. His name on Spock's lips bringing back the presence of Spock's alien memories to the forefront.
"Yes. I don't know much about him but I can see him as if he were in front of my eyes right now. He seems…unhappy. What does he have to do with this?"
"Sybok was born after my father's first Pon Farr when he was on a ship headed towards Earth. Sybok's mother was a Vulcan princess named T'Rel and she did not care if she was not betrothed to my father in order to have him. She was not one who was enamored with Surak's teachings and had spent many years off of Vulcan in other pursuits. My father was unable to return to Vulcan and chose T'Rel as a replacement for his…needs. He also created a mental bond to T'Rel, one that was not reciprocated from her after their mating."
"I'm not sure I like where this story is going."
Spock raised an eyebrow and continued.
"She found him uninteresting once Pon Farr was completed and not up to the task of satisfying her. His logic interfered with her freedom and her passion. She broke the bond due to her own need to be free."
Nyota pushed back from him. "And what does that have to do with us?"
"Nyota, I am not implying you are like T'Rel."
Spock's eyebrow rose higher. "My father married my mother some years later. One of the stories Sybok told to me before he was banished from Vulcan for being a V'tosh ka'tur was that he was a child born of passion while I was a child born of logic. He, of course, meant it as an insult."
"I'm not sure I like Sybok."
"Sybok was his mother's son."
"Okay. So what does this have to do with us? Why is it relevant what your father did?"
Spock seemed to be putting his thoughts together. "This is relevant because of the way in which our Pon Farr went much like the way my father's did. If it has been a traditional ceremony on Vulcan, you may have been prepared for any disappointments that would occur in sexual intercourse after such a joining."
It was starting to click in Nyota's brain what was going on but she needed to push him some more to be absolutely sure.
"Spock, what are you saying?"
"I am conveying to you that our joining on Gourian V was not typical of Vulcan lovemaking. During Pon Farr our emotional state and bonds with our mates are enhanced by our dopamine levels as well as our mental link with our partners. Your pleasure was induced by the joining of our minds. I could perceive on an unconscious level your needs and wants without taking the knowledge into myself. Your satisfaction from that event was….was not typical. Our minds will not be joined together as they were on Gourian V and it will be much like typical mating between members of your own species. As you humans like to say, ' it is all downhill after that'."
Oh Spock, Nyota thought.
"So that's why you came up with the no sex rule? You thought you couldn't outperform yourself? You were afraid I wouldn't be satisfied?"
"In part. I did wish to give you time to get used to our bond and used to my presence; I was truthful in my intentions. But if the question is whether I believe my performance would not be an equal to the last then that would be the logical answer."
"Spock!" Nyota took his face in her hands and kissed his temple. "You should have told me instead of hiding it."
"I did not wish to hide this from you, Nyota. I wanted to please you tonight and believed that our activity was the best way to satisfy us both."
"You did Spock. You pleased me with having a nice dinner and being yourself. But what I didn't like was how tense everything felt. There was too much pressure and now I see why." Nyota glanced at him. "And Kirk showing up made you more nervous."
"Being nervous is illogical."
"Doesn't change the fact that that was what you were."
Spock remained silent confirming her suspicions. Nyota took a deep breath.
"Spock you won't disappoint me. Yes, the sex before was great, but that's because it was with you just as I'm sure the next time will be good for the same reason. It may even be better this time because now I feel so much more for you."
"I'm serious. And if you are worried about humans like Kirk coming in and stealing your thunder just know that there are hundreds of jerks like him around in the universe. There is only one of you."
She suddenly felt Spock's hands on her hips and saw him lean in for a kiss. He then turned her onto her back on the bed and hovered over her. He had never been so appealing to her.
"So are we about to break rule number 3?"
"Consider it as good as broken, my Nyota."
As night gave way into day and as passion gave into sweet contentment, Spock's worries were laid to rest. But a small thought in the back of his head contemplated looking up James T. Kirk's records.
The cadet seemed extremely illogical. He would have to keep an eye on him.
Three months later: In the belly of Narada
As acting Captain James T Kirk ran down the dark pathways of the romulan ship in which he was to face probable death, the thought of his acting first officer kissing his acting chief communications officer on the transporter would not leave his mind.
When the hell did that happen? Kirk thought as his run became a fast jog.
His thoughts flashed to her in that pretty black and white dress in Paris. The bottle of wine that was supposedly sent to him from Emila only for him to be royally told off the next morning by his stood up date. The strange ears he had spied as he walked out of the establishment determined to drink the hell out of his Chateau Picard.
"That green-blooded son of a bitch."
Kirk gave a small smirk and continued his fast pace. He had a mission to complete.
A/N: Thank you for all your reviews and support. I hope you enjoyed it.