Note: I do not own any character described here!

There will probably be some grammar mistakes, so don't hate me for it, please, instead be helpful and tell me what is wrong, besides, like I said on my profile, English is not my original language, I just like it and want to practice it! ;)

The title I took from Rufus Wainwright's song named cigarette and chocolate milk. Actually I found a Dogs' life journal that had that song as a suggestion to be Badous theme, and I loved the song (I had never heard any Rufus songs before!) which inspired me to write this fiction.

I wrote it in first person, inspired by Stephenie Meyer with her Twilight series, so here you will have Badou's crazy thoughts XD . And I know it got a bit longer than I expected, but I wanted to make it one shot. So here it is.

Warning: Fiction Rated: MA! Content is only suitable for mature adults. May contain explicit language and adult themes... ( :D = devil's face)

CIGARETTE AND CHOCOLATE MILK.

For a long time, I have blamed myself for my beloved brother's death. I tortured myself for so long, and wished I could get back in time, save him and die in his place. But now I get it, there was nothing I could do; I was just a kid back then… besides, if I change place with him, I'm pretty sure I would go to hell for making my brother suffer like I do, and that would be really selfish of me… I don't wish that kind of pain for anyone, except for Haine…oh wait! Poor guy is already in hell…anyway… I hope God sends me to a better place when I die…because I know I deserve that, for so much suffering here damn it…I mean... if God really exists.

So now I'm praying my ass off so I won't fall, because I'm hanging upside down outside the window of a ten floors building to take a fucking damn picture that can serve as proof that this ugly fat ass that I'm staring at, is the murder of another stupid rich old fart that commands some big drugs traffic and get a good money out of it. And, yes! I'm about to be discovered and get tons of bullets in my pretty ass…and don't get me wrong, it's actually kind of fun you know, and this became pretty usual for me now, I'm practically an expert… but if I don't ever get a big fat reward for this…I swear I'm going insane and shoot some nice smoking bullets in some fat asses down here in this hell called Earth! Well, I know sometimes I act like a nuts ok, so bite my ass because I don't care! Life sucks and I need some entertainment to release the stress!

Haine is in the other side of the street covering my ass...I mean my back…but who knows when is he going crazy and hunt some meat to bite and leave me alone...so I know I can never trust that albino that much.

Suddenly something surprisingly awesome happens. A dark creature holding a fucking cool katana invades the room cutting the door in half. The fat guy and his subordinates stands in alert staring at that big black raving feline analyzing everything around it. Aaaand fuck…I got caught. She saw me by the window, but didn't do anything about it, thank God! She just advanced up them cutting the fat's subordinates vices out, until there was only the fat guy and I left… Oh man… that room, in a second, was painted in a scarlet tone and turning into a blood pool … What the hell is she? A fucking Spartan ninja?? Damn, it's time to die! I think I'll pray again! But please, don't let that fucking fake priest make my funeral!

-Where is he? –she asked with that cold enraged voice coming out from deep inside her throat.

-I… I don't know who are you talking about… leave me alone bitch! –the fatty said. Man, he is almost peeing on his pants.

-I'm going to ask one more time…loud and clear… Where- is- Ma-ga-to?

-He…he went to get some information about the underground at bosses pub…now get out here, you fucking bitch! –Hahaha, what a pitiful guy…he was nearly begging for his life! I think I would be sorry for myself if I were him…I mean, I think a man that supplies for his life to a woman is the worst kind of scum! Shouldn't exist.

So that tranny, just like that, silently like a dangerous wild animal (and you bet she is!), about to get his pray, jumped and cut his head out of his neck. There was more blood flushing all around that room. Shit…that made me want to puke. And suddenly I felt my heart was about to come out trough my mouth when I realized she was standing besides me at the window. Ha-hahah…yeah, God doesn't exist!

-You are coming too!

-Ya... yes mam'! –I could only babble.

She cut the rope that was holding me and grabs me through my pant's belt.

-FUCK YOU WOMAN!!! CAN'T YOU BE MORE CAREFUL, I'M GOING TO FALL OUT OF MY PANTS HERE DAMN IT! I DON'T WANT DO DIE LIKE THAT, PLEEEEEEAASE!!!! –"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! I AM AS SCUM AS THAT UGLY FAT GUY, UNBELIEVABLE! I'm just glad that I had my precious camera hanging on my neck so it didn't fall." _

She pulls me inside to that bloody room smelling rusty metal.

-Aargh! What the hell! I'm too young to die yet! I can't die without having the best cigarette of the market AND the best fuck of my life, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT??!

-Shut up Badou. We're leaving! –Surprising me, Haine was already there taking some files from the fat headless desk. How the hell did he got there this fast??

-What the fuck man?! What the fuck are you doing here??? You should be outside looking out my ass!

-Sorry, but your butt doesn't attracts me anymore, I got sick of it! –Ha-ha-ha… Haine is so funny… NOT! I hate his jokes! ¬¬

-Fuck you Haine! –I said showing him the finger. I knew it! I can't trust him! I'm going to kill him some day!

-What about you? What are you doing here? –Haine asked her.

-Yeah…what are you doing here?? –I repeated the same question feeling very annoyed.

-I'm looking for someone!

-Who the hell is that Magato? –I asked standing up fixing my pants.

-The next guy I'm going to kill…if there is anyone to get in my way. –she said monotonic as cleaning her katana on one of those corpses jacket.

Argh! This woman is so fucked up! Is she human? She has no mercy, no doubt, no fear! I started to wonder…does she has weaknesses? Some fragile spot? Any will do!... Or maybe she is a robot! That got to be it! I mean… shit she has no feelings; she looks like an empty shell…what kind of background does she has? I know some guys would find attractive her mysterious way of act, but not me, I don't like to shoot in the dark, I like to see everything, to get the whole picture you know? But I bet she had suffered more than I did… that is why she is just like that…her deep dark sad eyes says so…people's mind is like a huge dense labyrinth, full of dark scary spots which you never know where to go…poor thing….no wait...POOR THING MY ASS! Crap, I need a cig!

-I need to talk to Bishop. –she said.

By the expression on her face, it looked like there was more trouble about to come.... "great".

So we got our asses outside and went back to the church silently without a word to each other.

Soon as we put our feet there, she takes out of her dirty old ripped backpack tons of pieces of metal.

-I need someone to fix this for me. –she said soon as Bishop came in.

-What the hell… Where the hell have you been woman! –I just couldn't believe on what I was seeing...I mean how could someone have broken a knife into like that?!

-What happened? –Bishop asks.

-A fight.

-Duh!! We can see that, ya know? –I said…-Oops… except for you Bishop.

-… -Bishop.

-It's a private issue. –she said.

-Private my ass! You came here asking for help and won't say anything? –Shit, I said too much, because I see she got really mad.

She grabs my shirt's collar and puts me face to face her.

-Who asked for your help redhead?

-Ah!.. haha… no one did! – ¬¬ shit, I forgot she is not human… better not provoke the Terminator here.

-Well…I do know someone that can fix this…but… he won't do it for free.

-I don't have money.

-Don't worry. I'm sure you can pay him with something else.

-Humpf… he is a dead man. –I thought I had said that to myself only.

-That is not what you're thinking, Badou! I meant with a job.

-Ha... of course… other wise he would be dead. ¬¬

-Shut up Badou. –Haine said.

She didn't say anything. Probably agreeing with me while putting those billions of metal pieces back to her bag. After done, she handles it to Bishop and we all sit on a round table.

-Why don't you just buy a new knife? –I asked.

-Because that one is important to me. –she just said.

"Why is it important? Did someone special give it to you? Or is the some kind of trophy that you carry around to remind you that killed its owner?... You sick creature!"

Nill just came in bringing black coffee for us jumping happily like a little bird… man I envy her…her world must be the best! No worries, no running away, no bullets in that cute little butt…She is just like a little ballerina that ran away from her song box with those angel's wings, lightly skipping here and there…I wonder what does she thinks about all this…about us… why does she likes being with us? I think that is what she means to Haine… his little fallen angel that someday will save him from this hell… like his safe refugee. I wonder if she knows that.

I wish I had an angel for myself too… but right now I only have my tobacco and, well... Haine. ¬¬

-Thank you sweetie. –Naoto said. Nill smiles at her and sits besides her getting in between Naoto and Haine. Then there was the fake blond priest, me and the feline again.

-What's with that smell??…please redhead, go take a bath! –What? Did she accused me pig?

-Fuck you! It is not me damn it! –I said after a sniff at my armpit and then both of us looked at Haine.

-I'm going to kill you! –he said with that deadly glare of his.

-Fare enough...it is not him ninja stop bugging him damn it! –I said. I'm better not contradict him... I only hate when I'm in this nirvana state of mind after a cigarette because I look so coward! And shit, that is just sooo uncool for me!

-Ahn... sorry about that… I had to keep some corpses inside so the police won't catch us! –Bishop said.

-… -All of us.

-Please… take them away! –I suggested.

-Yes, I'll get rid of them later.

-Ahem! So….what is the plan??? You have a plan right ninja? –I asked.

-Yes…I'm going there.

-… ha? That is your plan? –I asked…hell yeah... I can believe that that could only be the plan she would come up with!

-Well since we were after that guy that you kill, I guess we could go together and get that money you took from us with that Magato guy…do you mind ninja? –Haine asked.

-Now that's a plan! – I said happily smiling. I need more money to afford my smokes ok?

-Whatever, just don't get in my away.

I started to wonder…between those two, who would win?? I'm mean; Naoto is strong for sure, fast and furious! And a fucking acrobat that jumps like a frog… or a kangaroo…no…it's more sinister, like a black poison snake dancing in the air...I don't know, but I see her as an wild hurricane that can destroy anything with just one little blow… silently. I remember perfectly the first time I saw her fighting…and how astonished I got…I mean, I couldn't believe that that little woman could be this fucking cool! Hahahah…as for Haine… well, he simply is the fucking devil's mad dog! Maybe both of them would get out of a fight skinless... and headless… yeah, pretty much dead.

So we agreed that we would take a nap and maybe a shower and then go hunting some rats. I mean, we didn't need to hurry ! We have a whole life to do that! But damn it, noooooooo… of course she wouldn't!

So we went after her, soon as we realized she was already gone.

----

Getting there at that pub, Haine didn't wait for an invitation card to get in. He was right on kicking doors, and shooting at any asshole getting near. Hahaha, he is such a fucking unstoppable son of a bitch! And I came in just right after him.

Everything was working beautifully there inside, until those big guys showed up holding some snipers at our face! Fuck! And Haine hates bullets on his face! (ahahaha, as if there's someone who would!)That was the only thing that made him stop.

So some sissies came and tied ours hands behind our backs with those metal chains, and lead us.

Hine and I were brought to a big spacey room about to fall apart at that pub's basement. A big tall dark haired guy surrounded by others big guys, was standing there and… WHAT THE HELL? They were only wearing pants...and they were wide opened, as if they just left a fuck…ARE THEY GAYS? What the hell they intend to do to us??? Ahhh haha hahah my pretty butt!!! Fuck! No way! I don't want any dick sticked IN MY ASS!!!! THAT IS SO NOT HOW I INTEND TO DIE!!! T_T

But then…shit... I look at their feet and felt my blood run cold. Naoto was laid with her backs turned to us. …she was only with her underwear (Oh, look! She really wears them!), and there were blood…a lot of blood running between her legs…fuck! What the fuck did those monkeys do to her?! She was motionless. It looked like she was beaten to death there!!! That Spartan's body looked so frail and delicate now… HOW COULD THAT BE?!

-WAKE UP NINJA! THAT IS NOT THE TIME TO TAKE A NAP DAMM IT!... HEY, YOU SICK DICK HEAD SANIL!!!! WHAT DID YOU JUST DO TO HER? –damn! "Keep your cool Badou, keep your cool!" I was freaking out! But why the hell? I DON'T KNOW! I've been in worst situations before!!! Crap!

-Ahaahah... you mean that monster here?? –that bastard's voice was low and calm, and then he kicked her ribs making her turn her face to us. And that was when we saw it. HOLY FUCK! What is the deal with that big scary scar on her chest? Was that supposed to be an X-Man tattoo??? No! This is worst then I thought…someone tried to pull out her heart or maybe the lungs for real! And I bet it was that fucking shit head!

She had her face smashed and covered with bruises and blood as well. Shit, I myself had the will of beating that fucking cold face of hers lots of times…but I definitely would NEVER do something like that (of course, because first: she would kill me first, and second: she would kill me first!)!

I looked at Haine, and by his expression I assume he got to the same conclusion as I did.

-We were just playing doc and patient here, you know it's been a long time since I wanted that!! Hahaha. –he continued saying.

-FUCK OFF YOU ASSHOLE! What you want? –Haine asked between growls revealing his canines.

-Hm…I want…that beautiful sword that is always with her…and for some reason she didn't bring it! By any chance one of you would know where is it? She is such a stubborn and won't tell me that, you see…so that is why I had to punish her. What a bad girl, don't you think so?

"Wait, what?? Did I hear that well? What did he mean she didn't bring that katana with her? Why??? Did she wanted this? What the hell is going on here? That katana and ninja are inseparable! They were meant to be always together! It's her extension!"

-Well, I'm glad that at least ninja was able to take off one of your hands you fucking son of a bitch! –before Haine said that, I haven't noticed the guy was missing a hand…well, at least she did that…but she should had taken both of his hands AND his dick to make sure that bastard won't touch any woman again.

-Ahh...yeah yeah…that shit…I think it should pay for that too..hahah maybe…maybe I should get her hand and place it here. How about that you white rat?!

-White rat? Compare me to a dog! But never to a rat! Shit! Are you asking to die you worm? –Oh-oh! Haine was smiling!

-Hahaha…don't think you can do that now, can you?

-Hnf…you wanna bet?

-Hmm? Yeah… I want to. –he replied with a very defying look on his face. Hahaha, what a looser! He doesn't know what he is doing!

-How much?

-Huh??? Fuck Haine! I don't think this is time to think about money here! –Boy, I was worried.

-Shut up Badou.

-How about… If I win, you tell me your little secret behind your neck…and if you win... I'll give her back! It seams like a fair trade to me! –he said.

-Noup! I don't care about her…How about if I win, you gimme the all the money you got there and tell me where Giovanni is?!

-Huh??? Ahn…Haine pay attention here man!

-SHUT THE FUCK UP BADOU….and YOU pay attention to this beautiful scene that is about to happen here! –ohhh maaaan…I knew it! Things are going to get ugly...when Haine smirks like that…it can only mean ONE thing! … and that is…CARNAGE!

-Hmmm? You two have business with that guy?! Hahaha…alright then, If I don't kill you, I'm sure he will….anyway you are both dead! –Shit, he said it, he said it with a happy face… isn't it wonderful to be in this kind of business? I mean, being able to say such words with no worries…as if it was the most natural thing in the world… to kill for pleasure… God, please pay me back! Because I never wanted that! All I wanted was to be a journalist and take mediocre pictures that could sell. With no harms. I HAD to learn to shoot! It wasn't for pleasure!.... ok, maybe a little! Hehehe.

-Hey dude…do you have a cig? –I asked to one of the guys who brought us there.

-No.

-Well, well, well…tche! Then fuck off asshole because you just have no use for me then! –My nerves were high, and I couldn't hold myself anymore!

It's The Freak Show Time! Let the party begins.

I gave him a really nice kick in his balls, so he won't stand up for days and took his guns and started to shoot like crazy with a big fucking smile on my face…and it really felt like an orgasm!!! Oh yeah baby! Hahahahaha!

And I saw Haine turning himself into superman! Seriously, he took strength from another planet to break those metal chains as I kept my hands chased in my backs like a simple stupid mortal human holding those guns and shooting like a madman. And I swear to God, I saw his eyes shining red like blood. Thank God I'm his pall. Hahahaha…shit. So he started to eat…yes, eat those guys…damn he is a cannibal! I take back what I said before, he is not a dog…HE IS A FUCKING DINOSAUR! =:o

I had nightmares for days with that scene! I guess I still didn't get used to it. And I'm still confused about why the hell on earth did Haine left Magato alive! Almost skinless…but alive…I still think it is because of Naoto… to let her have her revenge… man, if it were me, I would have kill him for sure!

Haha! So that is how it ended! :D

Only Magato was alive there, Haine filled his paunch, got our money back and then we left. Of course I was the one who had to carry Naoto. I covered her body with my jacket and put her in my backs. I'm glad she is lighter than she looks. It was so weird to feel that wild feline's warm breath on my neck. I kind felt like she could wake up and bite me at any time! That almost made me pee on my pants! T_T

We went straight to the church.

There, Bishop called a friend of his who happens to be a doctor, to take a look at her, pretending to be a good priest.

-You two go hide yourselves before he gets here. –he asked.

-Huh? Why? Do we embarrass you honey? – I asked sarcastically.

-Yes…

- … ¬¬ -both of us.

-You two look too suspicious and I don't want any more trouble!

-Yeah, yeah, whatever! Let's go Badou, you need a bath. –Haine said.

-What? You're the one soaked in blood here you asshole. –but the idiot just pulled me back inside.

-Haaaaine… please… don't make me bath with you! T_T

-Huh? Shut up you idiot! ¬¬

---

After the doctor went out, and we were clean and neat as brand new, we went to see ninja.

-She needs to go through a surgery… she had a lot of broken bones and it seems she has some internal bleeding too. The doctor will be right back with the proper tools… I told him I just found her like that on the street and we don't have money to take her to a good hospital. So he kindly offered to do it himself here.

-Cool. –Haine said after yawn.

Shiit! On surgery time, I was the one who had to help the doc, since Bishop is blind and Haine is a sissy near woman.

Thank God I had some anatomy classes while watching Mister Hannibal there eating some fresh meat. It helped a little to keep the cool since I got used to see the blood at least.

After an hour or two, we were done. She had some seams but she should be fine between two weeks or maybe a month, doctor said.

The doctor went home, and tree weeks passed by us quickly.

Haine and I kept with our hard works going after money and getting bullets in our asses, as Naoto stayed at the church recovering. And by the end of the day we would always step there to see how she is. Haine said he was going to see Nill, but I believe he was also worried with ninja. He just didn't wanted to admit it.

Bishop said she didn't say a word during all this time; she just kept staring at nowhere looking gloomy. But at least she was eating properly, thanks to Nill's hard work helping her out.

And when it finally completed a month, after another regular day for us, you know: bullets, races, blood, punches and cigarettes… when we go to see Naoto, we found her lying on the bathroom floor naked and crying like a baby staring at her bloody hands taking off the mirror's pieces that jams.

I kind of felt my heart hurt for seen such scene…and I believe Haine felt the same… that little Spartan woman looked so breakable…about to fall into pieces at any moment… that paid a strong picture in my head.

Bishop wasn't there, probably playing the good priest praying for some souls, pretending to be merciful... And Nill was freaking out for not knowing what to do. She just kept pulling Haine's jacket.

So he got inside as I stood outside the door just listening.

-You lack of imagination to hurt yourself, did you know!.... so… collecting scars? –That idiot asked with a smirk on that fucking face of his. I really don't like his sense of humor!

-… -Of course she didn't reply.

-Stop crying…I hate woman crying. –What the fuck man!? That is not how you comfort people Haine! =:O

She quickly wiped her face as he took the first aid kit out of the closet to clean her wounds.

-Sorry. –she only said.

But that stupid beast just throws the kit besides her and left just like that. Unbelievable! So for some hidden unknown reason I decided to help her. Something impulse me to get inside…maybe it was the fact that afterward she was a girl…I mean, I was finally seeing her as such… I never knew I would pity someone like her, but I did. I gave her my jacket to cover her up (some weird déjà vú), and after bandaged her hand I set in front of her, pulled a cigarette and swallow one great smoke out of it.

-Do you mind?

-...- she just shakes her head negatively.

-I don't mind if you cry either.

-… I had enough.

-Sure… tche...life sucks huh?

-…

-Can I ask you something?

-…

-Ok… well…did that Magato guy did this on your chest?

-… no.

-Damn… I was just about to bet my left pinky that it was him… then…who did it?

-…

Ok, so that one she didn't answer… so what? She has a Pandora's box with her, and who doesn't?… but that bugged me a little, I mean, she didn't have to carry all that weight on her own… thou we are not that friends either… I hate this lovey dovey thing… but for a moment I really wished I could reach her hand and tell her it is not too late to be saved… sometimes I feel like she is dying to scream out loud like crazy until blow up her lungs and rip off her throat and take away the pain she feels in her soul, and only now I get why… she looked so small, that made me want to take her in my arms. And that is just too freaking weird.

Many times I wanted to ask her, why is she in this business, dealing with the mafia and criminals? Why isn't she in a college, with a boyfriend, or having fun with some girl friends, shopping at a mall? Or maybe taking a walk with her dog? Why isn't she smiling? But the answer came right away in my mind. Only one single word. Revenge! And I know exactly how it feels to have it in mind. How addicted and thirsty you can get for it… and the great taste you feel when you get it... oh fuck... since when did I get this sentimental? – sigh.

-Another question. –I said.

-…

-Where is your katana? Why did you hide it on that day?

-Because… I knew I was in disadvantage there, and Magato would take it from me.

-Hm…so why did you go there even knowing that?

-…

Another unrevealed mystery that won't come out of that sealed box.

Well, I don't like shy people, I always get the sensation that in their minds they are always laughing and mocking everyone else. But Naoto doesn't bother me that much, because I know she is not that kind of shy, she has no sense of humor for that!… She just keeps quiet on her own. Probably scheming some evil plan to kill someone.

-Get better soon ok ninja? -I stood up and called Nill to help her to get dressed and go rest in her room.

---

Three months later, we were back and active like never. Bullets and carnage.

Bishop found a job for us… but this time would be just me and ninja. Haine had disappeared to solve some personal issues, as he usually does without saying a word.

So here we are…just the two of us… in a cheap stinky motel room, spying some guys suspected of kidnapping another big drug dealer's daughter. And it had been offered a big fat reward for the kid's head. So… here we are!

There is nothing to do, we just had to wait until the guys leave and follow them out. So we were just staring at each other's face…I mean, I was staring at her, as she was carefully polishing her knife that had been fixed by now. I sit on the floor beside the bed, and soon I remembered I had some cigarettes under my pants. I took it out.

-Want some? –OH FUCK! What have I done?! She looked at me cautiously, which it means she is thinking, and if she is thinking, it means she is considering the possibility, and if she is considering the possibility, it means there's at least 50% of chance she would accept it, and if she accept it… Ahahaha ahahaha ahahaha!!!...fuck!

So here comes my biggest drama! She put that thing a side her, and the rest of the scene passed trough my mind on slow motion until she had her hand extended to me… accepting it.

"Huh? NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Shit my mind blew up!

I WAS PRETTY SURE SHE WOULD REFUSE IT!!!… I mean, this is the only thing I don't like to share in life…I can share food, clothes, tooth brush, underpants, a book, my camera, even a woman, and I DON'T CARE!… but NEVER a cigarette…NEVER! NEVER, EVER, NEVER!!! And for some incredibly stupid, pathetic, absurd, unbelievable, and UNFORGIVABLE reason… I just offered. ¬¬

But, crap!! There are two things that I find VERY sexy about a woman…one, is skirt, and damn it, Naoto is wearing that mini black skirt AND boots…two, is a woman with a cigarette on her lips... especially if she has that beautiful soft kind of lips like she did. It looked like a work of art. A sublime, and very attempting marble sculpture standing right before my eyes. She looked like that forbidden apple, offering herself to be eaten… Man, I have to remove those thoughts out of my head! This is impossible for me. I'm just an ordinary half blinded little man here, and she… she is a medieval Spartan for God sake!

Haaa… but no. I couldn't hold myself and just like that, as a reflex, I kissed the corner of her lips… I didn't even gave her the chance to take off the cig out of her mouth. It was the fastest and pathetic kiss ever given in the history ever! (of course) I think it lasted less than a second. Quickly I stepped back and closed my eyes waiting for a really strong punch on my face, or maybe death could finally bring me some peace… so I waited…and waited… and waited… but nothing happen! When I looked at her, she was simply spacing out staring at me like she couldn't understand what just happened there.

-Won't you… kill me? –shit! Why did I ask that, I should had just stand up and RUN, RUN, RUN BASTARD! BUT DAMN, my legs won't obey me!

-N..no.-she said barely opening her mouth.

-Can I… kiss you..again? –Yeah... Hey, "shinigami" where are you asshole? I'm right here for you!... I'm looking for death! I just hope she makes it quickly.

After taking some time to think she replied:

-Hm. –she answered positively shaking the head. –… huh?… Wait… stop the world now!... I'm dreaming here, right Lord? In which part did I fell asleep? Or did someone exchange my cigarette for some hemp and now I'm delusional?

I didn't have to think twice, mostly because I'm a brainless dumb. So slowly and carefully I approached her again, I could easily feel my heart racing, and I was still waiting for that surprise punch coming from her at any moment until we were so close to each other that we could feel our delicious smoking breath getting inside each other's nasal cavity. Slowly I took back that cigarette hanging between her lips, watching hypnotized at her eyes carefully following my movements.

This time the kiss lasted a bit longer. It was awkward and electric, because I felt like a shock was passing through my body. What the hell, that never happened before! And we didn't even have closed ours eyes. She was stoned, as for me..well, I was just scared.

And our lips torn apart again, I noticed she was getting excited, her breath was faster, deeper and stronger and she was drawing back her legs…Does that means she never kissed anyone before? Man… that was enough to make me horny. I was getting a virgin! =D

So I placed myself between her beautiful long legs, grab her waist with my right hand and held the back of her neck with the left one tightly, and give her a fucking good long french kiss on those desirable lips inviting me in. I could hear her smoothly moan as she was placing her hands underneath my shirt pressing it against my chest. After sucking her juicy lips, I slip my tongue to her chin to get trough that long beautiful shaped neck and automatically my hand were unzipping her jacket, I mean, I had to take the opportunity right? I couldn't let go of this frenetic ecstasy running inside my body.

Our breathing was synchronized as that fucking lust sin was simply dominating us with pleasure there. And it was so DAMN good. Jesus! I could feel my blood running hot trough my veins. I just got surprised that she new that that means sex. But then, she suddenly snapped on my hand holding tightly that little thing with a scared look on her face… she suddenly looked like a frightening little kitty that couldn't even stare my eyes.

-You… DO KNOW I'm not going to hurt you, right? –and that sounded so ironic and pathetic that I almost laugh about it, if it wasn't for the rush. I mean, as far as I know, she can cut off my dick at any moment and I probably wouldn't even noticed when did she did it.

Ahn… wait a sec, let me see it!

Ahhh thank you God! It's still here! Hahaha. XD

-Yeah..

-Huh? -that was a quick answer!... Weird. She still kept holding her zipper fiercely without looking at me. And that is when I realized what was that all about. Fuck…why does THAT had to be her weakness, that fragile spot?? Hell no, that won't do, NOT NOW!

-GODDAMN IT WOMAN! My dick is hard as a rock here, CAN'T YOU SEE IT?? I don't give a DAMN SHIT about that scar…honestly... I find it very sexy, actually! And by that, I mean I'M DYING to suck all your sweet pink little tits and get my cock inside your pussy, your ass AND your mouth, AND I'M ONLY BEING HONEST HERE DAMN IT... so don't come with that scar shame crappy talk on me because that just won't do…I'm just this close to jump like a wild animal all over you and cum like a wild beast here…

-Redhead.. –her voice came out so weak that I didn't pay attention to it.

-Seriously…you are a FUCKING SMOKING HOT feline and you just can't see how much you attract us males?! REALLY?? You are not a little girl anymore to act innocent on me… I mean even that FUCKING MAGATO BASTARD wanted to fuck you and…FUCK! Just to think that he had the pleasure of having you before me… makes me want to kill him just this badly…I just wish I could SMASH his head against some wall, step it on it AND spit on his fucking ugly face!

-Eye patch…

-NO! COM'ON! WAKE UP, ninja, you act so strong and fearless out there between fire guns only holding that sword of yours, making heads roll on the floor just like A FUCKING SPARTAN, and here to get ONE NICE GOOD FUCK, you decide to get all scared ands shy?! Because damn it, I AM FUCKING GOOD in bed did ya know that? Are you out of your mind?! What the hell is your problem woman? I know I'm not the most attractive creature on earth either…but SCREW YOU! I ALSO know that I am not a trashy shit to be thrown out like that either, OK?

-BADOU!!!

Shhhhiiit! That shout came like a bullet in my head…my anger was getting on top of my head and I didn't even know why! Why did I blow up like that? What is my problem? I'm not even that needy to get laid! And then I realized how uncomfortable I made her feel. I was facing an expression that I could never even imagine that I would see in that woman's face. It was a mix of fear, shame, disgust and rage. And DAMN she was trembling.

-FUCK…. –not a single appropriate word came to my mind…all I could do was punch against the wall, put my dick back inside my pants and leave her there.

I went straight to the roof, I needed to get some fresh air to calm myself. Of course there was nothing better than my best friend cigarette here for that, which was already beautifully placed on my mouth… obviously. I kind of started to feel terrible for the things I just said back there…I was rude and mean, and I still don't understand why did I get this nervous…and I can't blame her, I don't know that much about her, so I guess I shouldn't judge her... What am I doing? I should just be glad that I'm not dead and my dick is still here!

I laid my back on the floor gazing the blue sky and after a few minutes I closed my eyes letting myself get lost in my messed up thoughts... that job didn't matter anymore… I feel funny and hypocrite, because I'm always saying how I don't want to die, but always when I put myself in these dangerous situations I don't get that scare of dying either… it's all blah blah blah actually… it is almost like I'm waiting for death…hoping it could just take me away to the same place my brother is… "Hey bro…is it bright where you are? Does it make you happy there?"

I must have fallen asleep because when I opened again, the darkness had completely eliminated all that blue color above me, felling it with a lot of little shinning sparkles dots in the sky and a gorgeous silver full moon. She was sitting beside me like a shadow. I don't recall any dreams…actually…it's been so long since I last dreamt.

Slowly I sit.

-On that day… Magato said some really nasty things about me that… are still beating inside my head…but... I want to thank you for what you said… and apologize for not corresponding to your expectations… I guess. –she said almost whispering. And that was the longest sentence I heard coming from her.

The wind was getting stronger up here, and that black pearl color hair slipping trough her face made her looks different… I could see that full moon's reflection shinning timidly deep inside her eyes. I couldn't stop looking at her.

-Well… I want to apologize too… I know I said some really… discourteous things back there, and that wasn't fair... and damn! Why did I get so mad for?? I really don't know ninja... sorry if I scared you.

-I don't mind.

-But…you know what? I really meant it… when I said I don't care about that scar… and I really do find it sexy.

-I saw your penis.

-Good..-after an evil grin, I gave a strong last pull on my cigarette and lay my back on that cold floor again.

-Can I ask you a question? –she said. That surprised me.

-Go ahead!

-How do you feel about your eye? Why do you hide it?

-… Tche… I get your point… and I'm sorry… but hey, at least you didn't loose anything, right?!

-Wrong! Who said that? -She stood up and left.

She made me think about that, so the fact is… she lost her identity, her smile, her femininity, her happiness, her freedom, DAMN, she lost her good memories… and gain a lots of BAD memories in its place, plus pain, loneliness, sadness, tears, anger, sorrows… and probably a lot more things I don't even know about…

"I hate this place! Why do we have to be here?"

I didn't get to see her for a loooong time. She just vanished erasing any evidence of her existence. Just like a black feline running away from its pray, quietly and vigilant stepping back disappearing in the dark, for never be seen again.

I wished she had taken me with her. But I had to keep telling myself that everything is going to be ok in the end. Oh wait, hahaha, that's hilarious, what a funny, funny joke! –shigh – I have no hope. Lies just don't work with me anymore!

I made a lot of mistakes in my life, changed my plans tons of times… packed and unpacked, laugh and cried. Punched and got punched, lied to a lot of people, as people also lied to me. But I'm still here… even thou I have no reason to stay. Nothing left to lose.

And I'm slowly killing myself with that sweet smoke's vice, but shit, death just won't come soon! And I just don't understand… did I ever had a life? Was I meant to be just a blank thing to fill another blank in this world? My resistance to this life is fading away Lord… I just wish I could destroy anything I touch, because this rage I feel violently burning inside my chest won't go away, and I'm getting tired of it.

I know I have sinned, and to tell you the truth… I am going to keep like that! But hey, I happen to know someone that likes to play being a priest saying he is going to save souls taking money out of them, so that got to be a worst sin, right? He is going to a worst place than I will, right?

---

A year has passed and everything is still the same. Deaths, banks robbed, rapes, diseases, earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunamis', floods, terrorisms, accidents, kidnappings, decapitates, drug dealings, trafficking, slavery, bombs... all sorts of terrible things kept happening... naturaly!... I'm sure you can find someone that will describe for you the good ones too. I Just can't see it!

One day, when I had nothing to do, just scratching my balls and hanging around, I decided to go out and eat something at Buon Viaggio's. And on my way I saw her, in the middle of the street. That dark lonely feline was back. She looked tired, but she was there, looking at me… as if she was in the darkness, with no light to guide her. Completely lost.

"Is it true? Did she really come for me?"

We synchronized our steps. I was going towards her, as she was coming for me.

-Don't do that again! –I said soon as we meet, looking straight in her deep dark ocean's eyes.

-Hm.

-Com'on, you need some rest. –so I took her hand and walked beside her. We looked like two little kids holding hands, and this time she was colder. I felt like it was my turn to warm her. So I guided her… to that shitty dirty little place I call home.

-This is not the best place for a lady, but you can rest here, if you want.

-Thank you. –she is usually this quiet and very polite, never heard bad language coming from her. That is unusual and funny for a fucking cold blood murder like her.

My room had one single's bed, (my brother's was locked and I wouldn't let anyone in at any circumstance) but the leaving room's sofa was pretty comforting… so I guess could take it this time.

-So…will you tell me where have you been?

-… here and… there…

-Hunf… sure! Are you hungry? –I actually had nothing to eat at home.

-I'm fine.

-Okey.

She just set at my armchair by the window, spacing out.

-Why? Why did you come back here ninja?

-Because…

-Hm?

-Because… I felt like.

-… Is that so?

-… I don't know.

-You don't know? What is that supposed to mean?

She looked at my single green eye for some moment as if she was trying to say something that was stuck inside her. Or maybe she was trying to transmit her thoughts to inside my mind…"sorry sweetheart, but my brain ain't that good! Nicotine killed bunch of my neurons". And then slowly, she unzipped her jacket…I could see she was still hesitating. So I was about to let it go and tell her that she didn't have to do that, if that isn't what she wanted, and forget the thought that I can ever fuck her some day, I mean, she own me nothing! But damn… that was until she reviled one of her nipples, and those thoughts were erased just like that, with a blink of an eye. She really had pink nipples, and they were puffy… fuck! Puffy nipples are the best!

-Woman… I won't forgive you for hiding that beautiful thing from me! Now come to papa here! –fuck! I was smiling! I was finally getting my reward… I was finally able to get my hands on that apple! Wait. Does that mean I'm going to die soon? Well, what ever! My buddy down here was awake again.

Immediately, like a baby desperately needed for feeding breast, I submerged my face between her little beautiful boobs. Boy, I was happy, I felt like I was in Alice's wonderland… without the stupid rabbit, the stupid tea party, the stupid cards…no, wait! I better create my own wonderland…Ahahaha YEAH! IT'S BADOU'S WONDERLAND… naked woman dancing around me some Led Zeppelin songs, surrounded by nicotine smoke, lots of cigarettes on my mouth, and a big machine-gun by my side! Hahahahahah... Anyways, I could finely die now! Ahhh... Yeah, I am a moron. Whatever, at least I have some fun!

I usually go for big boobs and big butt women but, Naoto had caught me… she must have some hidden voodoo thing that enchanted me. There is no other explanation for that! I mean, she was almost flat as a board and tough like a guy for Christ sake!

So I took her in my arms and laid her in my bed. And she just kept staring at me emotionless… but whatever! That won't hold me back now! …Not now baby, not now! Then I took off my shirt showing all my manhood just like a brave animal to attract the female he is aiming for. I took off her boots and then her skirt.

Man, how I wish I had my right eye here, to better enjoy this view! Tche! What a waist. ¬¬

So we fucked for a long good hour, I think. We hanged upside down, did some oral jobs, mommy and daddy… and other delicious things here and there… I thought I would have to teach her some stuffs, but hey, it was natural!

And I just realized that this is the first time I had sex with so much affection and caress on a girl…I just kept holding her in my arms so strongly and chary thinking that if she falls, she would break into pieces… I don't know if that is because I respect her, of if it is just for fear…or maybe something else that I just can't figure out.

I think that sex, was to drown ours sorrows with each other's warmth. It was so carefully wild for both of us, so delicate and strong… and finally when our bodies were soaked in sweat and tired of all those exercises movements, Aahhh! Her almost silent screams made me cum on her like a horse! :D

After we were done I rested my head on her chest, listening her heart beat… that precious heart that some fucking dick head tried to pull out of there… and just couldn't stop touching her scar with my finger's tips… wondering how much pain did that frail delicate body had felt… how much she still feels... but it was so comforting being there that it made me forget about the world for some moment…or maybe minutes…time didn't matter anymore…I wonder if this is happiness. And the heat coming from her body made me feel so calm!

My arms, by their own free will, moved to involve her body…yeah, I was embracing her… and I just realized that I spend about 15 (maybe even more) minutes without saying anything… honestly… I think I'm always this talkative so I won't feel so lonely…but now it feels different… I don't feel like talking… hm... I guess the silence is speaking for ourselves here…oh yeah… I don't feel that lonely anymore.

Naoto doesn't speak much, only when she is asked to, or when its necessary… is that her way of dealing with loneliness? I wish I could give something for her thoughts. I wonder how is she feeling, but I wouldn't dare asking, until she gently put her arms around me too and kissed the top of my head.

"Oh crap... I can't escape from this feeling anymore can I? Hahahha… holy shit. She really did caught me afterwards."

Is that how it feels to have someone? When did I begin to depend on her this much?

-I need a cigarette. –I said.

-I need chocolate. –she said.

-Ah! That's right…those are the best vice after sex…cigarette and chocolate… then alcohol and money. Wait. Noup. Money first and then alcohol! –I said.

-Hahah. –she laughed.

-What? Wait damn it! I missed it, do that again, please, do that again! Let me see you laughing! –I couldn't believe, I made her laugh, and that even wasn't my best joke! It must be surreal!

-Shhh…quiet, redhead. –she just said pulling my head back to her chest. Her voice melted the cold in my heart.

-Ah! Sorry. –yeah... silence fit us best now.

It's strange because, silence wasn't awkward between us anymore. And after while, enjoying all the goodness of that peace, she said:

-Thank you.

-Hm? What for?

-I think you're the only one that can make me feel this comfortable being naked.

-Hmmm… so, don't you dare showing these sweeeeeeeeeeet little breast of yours to anyone else, ok? XD

-Idiot. ¬¬

-Hehe. ;D

---

On the next day, me and ninja went to the church, she wanted to see Nill.

-Hmmm… I smell love in the air… can you feel it too Haine? –Bishop said soon as he "saw" us coming in together with that sarcastic tone of his... Sometimes, I think that freak has a third eye hidden somewhere else.

-Yeah…and it stinks like horse's shit! –Ha-ha, Haine is so funny…NOT!

-Shut up Haine, you're still a virgin, asshole! –Ahahaha, Yeah! I always wanted to spit that in his face! XD

-Huh? Excuse me? DO YOU WANT TO DIE YOU FUCKING BRAINLESS RETARDED?

-Huh??? WAIT! -Shhhhhiiiit! Am I in love?? IMPOSSIBLE! O.o