Okay, so….I haven't updated anything in a million years. I apoligize.
MY COMPUTER CRASHED GOD DAMN IT!
-let out slow, cleansing breath-
Okay, I was royally pissed when my sister effed up my computer and I couldn't do much with the time I had at school so…I hope this makes up for it.
Chapter 3--Fresh Fresh Clothes
"Is everyone calmed down now?" Carlisle asked serenely as Jasper and Emmett re-entered the house, several minutes and a few 'manly' screams from Emmett later.
"I don't know. Why don't you ask Mr. I-Like-Causing-Innocent-People-Pain-Because-I-Enjoy-The-Feeling-Of-Power over there," Emmett muttered, glaring at a smirking Jasper.
"Everyone's just dandy," Jasper said with as he sat next to Alice.
"Alright, let's continue going through the CD's Emmett. You spent a lot of time on them and I think we should all be considerate," Esme said with a small grin as she watched all her family get along-most of them anyway.
"That's a great idea," Emmett said brightly. He pulled out a light blue CD and popped it in the stereo. "This one's for Carlisle…But it does relate to Esme occasionally."
"Doctor, doctor. Give me the news. I got a strange case of love'n you! No pills gonna cure my ill. I've got a bad case of-"
"Yeah, I think we get it Emmett," Carlisle said wryly, but grinning slightly as Esme held her hands over her mouth to hide her laughter.
"Well I'm just say'n," Emmett said defensively, pressing the next button.
"I told the witch doctor I was in love with you. I told the witch doctor you didn't love me too. And then the witch doctor he told me what to do. He said ooh to the eeh the ooh the aah aah. To the ting to the tang the wallahwallah bingban. Ooh to the eeh the ooh the aah aah. Ting tang wallahwallah bingbang!"
I'm sure someone would've interrupted the sound sooner if it weren't for the face that they were all staring at Emmett incredulously, mouth hung open and eyes wide as he sang along and dance around the living.
"Who put crack in your brownies?" Jake asked, breaking the silence. Rosalie glared at him and Bella smacked the back of his head.
"If fit though, right? Right?" Emmett asked, receiving no answer from anyone. Grumbling to himself he pressed play. "No one appreciates me anymore."
"Daddy. Daddy wasn't there. To change my underwear. It seems he doesn't care. Daddy wasn't there. When I was first baptized. When I was criticized. When I was ostracized. When I was Jazzercized. Steak and kidney pies. When I was modernized. When I was circumcised. Daddy wasn't-"
"Alright, I think that's enough of that song," Rosalie cut in. Once again the Cullen's were all rendered speechless, not quite sure to make of the song.
"It's alright Rosalie," Carlisle said easily, a small smile on his face as he found some humor in this.
"Thank you, Carlisle," Emmett said with a grin-glad someone found this funny. He played the next song.
"Ozians! Go and hunt her. And find her. And kill her. Good fortune, Witch Hunters! Go and hunt her. And find her. And kill her. Kill the Witch!"
Carlisle hung his head in his hands, shaking his head back and forth in dismay. Everyone watched him, not sure what to make of his reaction. I mean…witch hunters…vampire hunters? "How do you find these songs?" Carlisle asked incredulously, an amuse look covering his face.
"I have my ways," Emmett said with a grin, playing the next song.
"Pressure. Pushing down on me. Pressing down on you. No man ask for. Under pressure."
"Oh jeez Emmett," Edward said, rolling his eyes. "Even you could've been more creative than…," he trailed off, meeting Esme's warning gaze.
"More creative than what, Eddie?" Emmett asked, smiling smugly as he watched his brother war between his opinion and the disapproval of his mother figure.
"…Jasper was the one who stole your batman costume in 1987," Edward blurted out, raising his hands in surrender. Jasper's eyes widened and Emmett's jaw dropped as he stared accusingly at his brother-or the man he used to call his brother.
"Is this true?" he asked, astonishment coloring his tone. And all this time he secretly blamed it on Alice, knowing that her fashion obsession would drive her to insanity which would eventually lead her to steal the most awesome costume in the world for himself.
"You seriously thought that?" Edward asked, raising his eyebrows.
Emmett just waved a dismissive hand at him, his focus entirely on Jasper as he waited for an answer. "I was paid to do it!" Jasper finally exclaimed, throwing his hands up much like Edward had previously done.
Emmett's eyes narrowed. "Who?"
"It was Rose!" he yelled, pointing at the blonde who had been seemingly paying no attention at all to the current conversation at hand.
Emmett gasped loudly as Rosalie bit her bottom lip. "It was just so tacky," she defended, wrinkling her nose in disgust.
Emmett gasped again, sucking in even more air than last time. "You deceiving traitor! My own wife! This sort of betrayal is only supposed to happen in books! This is terrible! This is catastrophic! This is-"
"-A conversation completely void of all reason!" Esme cut in, warning the family with her eyes not to continue with their argument. "Play the next song Emmett," she said calmly.
"But my costu-"
"I said play it!" Esme snapped, making everyone but Carlisle jump in surprise at her tone. He actually had the audacity to chuckle.
"Yes Mother," Emmett said, instantly pressing the button.
"I'm a gigolo, spending lotsa dough. You can tell the way wide-body, sitting on vogues. Peep how I'm shining, wit the fresh, fresh clothes. Always surrounded, by so many (HO!). I'm a gigolo, always on the go. Every time I turn around, I got another show. Leave the club with about three in a row. Jump in the Six, 'cause I love them (HO!)."
"What does that have to do with Carlisle…at all?" Alice asked, blinking.
Emmett let out an exasperated sigh and rolled his eyes. "Did you even listen to the words? 'Lotsa dough…fresh, fresh clothes…GIGALO?!'" He offered, as if those were all obvious reasons to back his song choice.
"Right," Jake muttered sarcastically.
"Okay buddies, I'll play the last one so we can really get started," Emmett said, shooting a glare at Jake.
"They call me Doctor Love babyPaging Doctor Love to EmergencyDoctor Love to EmergencyI'm Doctor Love(Love)I'm Doctor Love(Love)Come be my patient(patient)I'll cure without a drugI'm Doctor Love(Love)I'm Doctor Love(Love)Come be my patient(patient)I'll cure without a drugI'm Doctor LoveYou could call me the love doctorImma make you feel betterSometimes pain is pleasureLay down on the stretcherLove sick but I got the cureSo don't you panic, babeYou'll be begging me for moreAfter the surgeryTell me when you're sick againIn need of healing, I'll be there for youLove is like a vitaminI got the feeling, so let me love youOh, Here's what i'm gon' doCalling in code blueAbout to rescue you, with my medicineI'm Doctor Love(Love)I'm Doctor Love(Love)Come be my patient(patient)I'll cure without a drugI'm Doctor Love(Love)I'm Doctor Love(Love)Come be my patient(patient)I'll cure without a drugI'm Doctor LoveSo i hear can't eat, not sleepingCome in for late night treatmentOh girl, you're so contagious (It makes me)I wanna help yaWhen you're under weatherI can love it betterAll you need is one dose of my vaccineSo tell me when you're sick againIn need of healing, I'll be there for youLove is like a vitaminI got the feeling, so let me love youOh, Here's what i'm gon' doCalling in code blueAbout to rescue you, with my medicineI'm Doctor Love(Love)I'm Doctor Love(Love)Come be my patient(patient)I'll cure without a drugI'm Doctor Love(Love)I'm Doctor Love(Love)Come be my patient(patient)I'll cure without a drugI'm Doctor LoveHave no fear, baby im hereJust show me where it hurts you babeSo that i can get to healingAnd don't be afraidJust take of dose of meAnd i'll see you in the morningI'm Doctor Love(Love)I'm Doctor Love(Love)Come be my patient(patient)I'll cure without a drugI'm Doctor Love(Love)I'm Doctor Love(Love)Come be my patient(patient)I'll cure without a drugI'm Doctor LoveLet me ya doctor baby, Let me ya doctor girlLet me ya doctor baby, Let me ya doctor girlOh, let me rescue you, Let me rescue you, yeah, oh"
Okay, that's all I got. Hope it was alright. What'd ya think? FAV SONG? FAV LINE?
Bad Case Of Love'n You (Doctor, Doctor)--Robert Palmer
Witch Doctor--Alvin and the Chipmunks
March Of the Witch Hunters--Wicked
Doctor Love--Donnie J. Klang
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FAVORITES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIMES!!!!!!!!!!!