Category: It's got humor, it's got love, it's got lights, it's got action, it's got monkeys in India,...ahem...it's mostly got humor and romance.
Description: It was Day One of Ellie and Awesome's honeymoon and one thing was certain: They were not leaving the hotel room.
Notes: Post-"Chuck vs. the Wedding"
Disclaimer: Chuck and all the proprietory elements related to it are the property of Warner Brothers and its affiliates. No copyright infringement is intended.
Feedback: Do not feed the animals. On the other hand, please feed me.
It was Day One of Ellie and Awesome's honeymoon and one thing was certain: They were not leaving the hotel room.
Well, OK, not after this one quick errand.
Awesome was by the hotel room door, hurriedly putting on an outfit that, per Ellie's request, "didn't show his nuts". Ellie called from the bathroom. "And Devon I want you back here within the hour. You know how you say you're going to be quick but then somehow end up at Sports World?" Just then, she poked her head out of the door. She was wearing a coy grin. "Not today." Awesome's lips met hers with an extended kiss.
"I'll be back, sweetie. I promise," he said, and, with one more peck, he was out the door.
Ten minutes later, like a dummy, he was parked in front of Wal-Mart before it dawned on him: Wal-Mart was definitely not going to have what he wanted. Heh. He would have to go to a specialty store for that. And if he wasn't mistaken, one was right down the street. Awesome.
As he entered the store, bells dangling from the doors clanged loudly, seemingly announcing his presence to anyone within a one mile radius. He pretended not to notice the eyes fixed on him as made his way over to the novelties section. He hoped he wouldn't see anyone he knew; besides he had a bride to get back to.
"Dr. Woodcomb," someone called to him. He turned to find a guy, college age, looking in his direction. His smile was muted, and his hair was in his face, but he definitely knew Awesome. Awesome, on the other hand, had no clue who the guy was. Probably an old patient. "Hey, Doc."
"Hey," Awesome said with a cheery smile, cheery enough to make up for the conversation he was not going to have. He turned around and hurriedly made his way to the back of the store. He scanned through the titles. There were things Ellie might like, and things he would, woah, definitely dig. Even a couple flicks he hadn't checked out since college. The store had a lot, but nothing that would keep Ellie and him in bed. All. Day. Long.
And then he spotted it. He grabbed the vid from off the shelf and raced to the counter.
The guy was there, ringing Awesome up. "Would you be interested in some munchies," he deadpanned. Awesome was tempted to take his pulse. He perused the edibles under the counter. He impulsively grabbed something for him (blue) and something for Ellie (pink). "Will that be all?" the guy asked.
"That's all," Awesome said, practically pushing the card down the guy's throat.
"I've been meaning to ask you about this rash I have," he said, pulling up the back of his shirt. And a rash it was.
"Um, sorry bro, but I'm not a dermatologist. If your ticker was acting up, I would be your guy."
"Really?" the guy said. More hair fell in his face, and Awesome started wondering if this guy even had eyes. "'Cause my ticker's been acting up too, and I was wondering if you could figure out why."
"Look, um," Awesome searched for his card. "Call me here, like intwo weeks, but I really got a go."
"Fair enough," the guy said, and pushed the hair away from his face to read the card. It looked like one of his eyes was black and swollen. He'd need a team of physicians to get back into shape. Awesome signed the credit card receipt and raced for the door.
As he pulled up to the hotel, he glanced down at his watch and realized he'd only been gone 42 minutes. Awesome.
"Who is it?" Ellie called from behind the door. Awesome had forgotten to take the key card with him.
"Your loving groom," he called back.
"Devon?" Ellie asked.
"Is there another one?" he replied. She opened the door. "Babe what was that about?" he asked.
"I guess I've seen one to many episodes of Unsolved Mysteries." She followed him in, "Divorce me."
"Perish the thought," Devon said flashing a smile and the two joined in a kiss. The kiss lingered on and Devon dropped the bag, placing his hands around her delicate face. Her body rose to meet his, and soon, Devon picked her up, placing her on the bed, never taking his face from hers. The two seemed headed for a serious make-out session. Or sex.
"God, I'm glad I married you," Devon said, suddenly rising for air and to admire his bride. "Why'd we wait so long?" Ellie just smiled in response. He leaned in again, but Ellie broke his advances with her hand.
"So," she said. "What'd you get?"
"What're talking about?" Awesome asked.
"When you went out, dummy," she replied.
"Right," Awesome said with recognition, suddenly rising and making his way back to the abandoned bag. She sat on the edge of the bed with anticipation. "I got us," he dramatically lifted the DVD from the bag, "Season 1 of Reaper."
"Excellent," Ellie squealed. "I was scared for a second that you were going to pull out porn." Awesome showed a look of confusion.
"And snacks?" she asked.
"Didn't know, so I got blue Jordan almonds," he beamed. "A super-food meets super-aphrodisiac."
"That's green," Ellie said flatly.
"Oh. Wellthey're still good." Ellie shrugged, unimpressed. "How about a bag of cotton candy?" he offered. Ellie stuck her tongue out. "A handful of peppermints from the reception desk?"
"Hand me the almonds," she said. He tossed her the bag, and she snuggled among the sheets, patting the spot next to her. Awesome popped in the first DVD, and joined her on the bed. They were practically giddy by the time the theme music started up. They eagerly watched a Dirt Devil vacuum up a soul, Sam's mouth spawn cockroaches, a crazed magician's magic shows, and Greg date twins simultaneously. Somewhere into episode six, however, Awesome was sound asleep. He awoke a couple episodes later to Ellie eating room servicea tuna melt with fries. Refined carbs and saturated fat, he thought to himself. Then grabbed a fry.
"What'd I miss?" he asked, snuggling himself under her arm.
"Why do we like this show so much?" she asked.
"What do you mean?" he said.
"Like, we practically wet ourselves when it comes on. Why?"
"I dunno," Awesome said. His brain was barely awake. "It's goofy. Fun. Good characters. Andi's cute." Ellie cut her eye. "But not as hot as you of course."
"So it has nothing to do with the fact that it's about an underdog who works at a big box store and seems like a loser only to be a hero when no one's looking?"
Awesome sat up. "I'm not following you, babe." He grabbed another fry.
"I've sat here for the last five and a half hours and something dawned on me. There's more to Chuck."
All of sudden it hit Awesome: This is what Chuck meant. This is what he meant when he said that Awesome had to cover with Ellie. When he asked him to be, well, awesome. This was his chance.
He'd play dumb.
"I have noooo idea what you're talking about," Awesome said.
"Wait, listen," she began. "Chuck is like the best brotherno guyin the world." Awesome pouted a little. "He's funny, humble, polite, generous. He's a frickin' genius. But it's like. I don't knowhow you would describe it?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about, babe," Awesome repeated. Ellie looked frustrated.
"Devon, you know what I mean. It's like he's the most extraordinary person, yet sosoHelp me think of the word."'
"Um, shy, maybe?" Another fry down the hatch.
"Shy? No." Ellie searched for her thoughts. "It's just like, it's likesometimes I think that he has so much talent and potential that somehow, someway, he has to be using it somewhere. Maybe in a way we don't even know about." She looked off into space. "Sometimes I imagine that Chuck is a private computer consultant to some eccentric billionaire in the Valley. Or maybe a volunteer firefighter, and that's why he's always cutting out at the oddest times. Or maybe he performed CPR on someone on the way home from work, but slipped away before anyone could thank him." She turned to Awesome. "He would do something like that, y'know." She looked at Awesome with a pleading look. Like all she wanted was some confirmation. And the thing wasAwesome could give it to her. He could validate her feelings and let her know that she was right. He wanted her to know that Chuck was doing way more than she was even imagining. That she could be proud of him. He gazed into her eyes a moment, weighing his words.
"He seems totally ordinary to me," he said finally. He had to create a distraction. "So any more of those almonds left?" Ellie leveled at him a look of irritated intrigue.
"What's your deal?" she asked, eyes squinted.
"Wha-?" Awesome said, playing dumb.
"What are you hiding?" she pressed him. "What is it?"
This was turning into a nightmare. But, he couldn't crack.
"You're jealous of Chuck, Devon," she spat. "Sure, he may not be able to bench 320 or have a fancy title in front of his name. But he helps a lot of people everyday. He has loyal friends. He's got Sarah, who loves him. And he has me."
"So what's the problem?" Awesome asked.
"The problem is you can't acknowledge that he's capable of, or probably already doing, a lot more. It's like you're glad he was wasting his life at the Buy More living in our guest room, just so you look good."
"You're wrong, hon," Awesome protested, "I don't feel like that at all."
"Then what is it?" she snapped. He had to stay cool.
"He just seems like an ultra-normal, cool guy. That's all." Ellie was only slightly appeased. He put his arm around her. "Look, I love Chuck more than anyone. I couldn't have prayed for a better brother-in-law. But he's just one of those guys thatwell, what you see is what you get. And there's nothing wrong with that." Ellie nodded. "When he's ready for more I'm sure he'll go and get it."
Ellie sighed with calmness and seemed to be taking it all in.
"I just want to know when," she sighed.
"His day's coming," Awesome said. His kissed Ellie on the top of her head. "It's closer than we think."
"Casey," Agent Thompason called, "We need you in here. You're not going to believe this."
Grabbing his gun, Casey followed the man down the hall.
TO BE CONTINUED...