Life Got Cold.
I had expected us to move out of Forks, into some new rainy town, and continue with our lives like nothing had ever happened. I expected everything to get better, to wipe this human's existence from our minds and hearts. I wanted everyone to smile again, to laugh, to be annoying. I needed my family to return to normal. Though, Bella had imprinted upon our lives – and I only say 'our' because she has affected my life by affecting the other's as well – and there was too many memories, too many attached feelings, to banish.
I watched as my family moved around lifelessly, more dead than they are anyway. Edward left, leaving Esme and Carlisle in a blackening depression. I hated him. I hated him for the mess he had drowned our family in. I hated how easily he could hurt everyone without knowing it. He just left in the early hours one morning, without a goodbye, and never returned. Never phoning about his whereabouts, leaving us all to assume he was Ok. Thankfully, Alice had been able to see his whereabouts and we now knew he was curled up pathetically somewhere in an abandoned houses' attic. I hated how he was sucking everyone into this spiralling black hole of pain. It had been his idea to leave Forks, to leave Bella behind, yet he was acting as though we had banished him away, forced him to leave her behind. He deserved the pain he was feeling. He didn't realise how many lives he had ruined, including Bella's.
As the days dragged on by, my family moped around like zombies. I watched as the playfulness drained out of Emmett. It hurt me to see him so bored, so upset, so deprived of life. I knew how much Emmett had liked Bella, acting as though her clumsiness was a form of entertainment, which was why he had been on my side when Edward decided we were leaving. If I had any clue as to where Edward was - his exact location - then I would drag him home and make him look at our broken, suffering family.
I had to admit, even though I hadn't made the least bit of effort with her, I wanted Bella back in our lives. She was the missing piece of our jigsaw puzzle – no matter how much I wished we would fit together without her. I knew how everything would perfectly fall back into place – Carlisle and Esme would cheer up, Jasper would quit trying to make us feel happy all the time, Alice would give up trying to pretend she wasn't looking into Bella's future, Edward could come back, Emmett would return to his playful self and I would be able to carry on with my life without this rainy cloud hanging over our heads. As much as I wished she had never stumbled into our never ending lives, I knew that Bella – as grudgingly as I had to admit it – had made our family whole.
I stood in front of the mirror, admiring my body, whilst trying to come up with a plan to reunite my family. I couldn't take Jasper's relaxation any longer – I didn't need anyone's help to try and make me happy. I wondered if I went back to Forks, without telling the others, if Bella would come back with me if I asked her. Somehow I doubted it. I guess I had made Bella feel pretty intimidated around me, especially with my beauty. I just couldn't understand why she was so ready to give up her life. Why did she want to spend the rest of eternity not being able to go out in the sun, not being able to dream, and not being able to have children? Everything I craved, she was ready to throw away. It was nothing personal with my grudge against her, well besides from the fact that Edward never looked twice at me – the beautiful Rosalie Hale – yet was memorized by a plain human, but I just couldn't bare to be near someone who had everything I ever wanted but never been able to reach.
I sniffed quietly.
I turned away from the mirror and looked out of the window.
I missed Forks. I missed the depths of the forests. I missed the raging rain and deafening winds. I missed home.
I had moved around to many places, barely staying in the same town for more than two years at the max, although Forks had been different. It had actually felt like home. For once in my vampire life, I had felt actually normal. I was able to go to school, go out shopping with Alice, and drive around in my BMW convertible with the hood down. And, as it was such a small town, everyone stared at me in disbelief when they saw my beauty, their eyes following the curves of my body, with their jaws almost hitting the floor. And I loved that attention. I enjoyed being stared at. Now, thanks to Edward, all of that had been taken away from me. How could Edward be so selfish!
Turning my back on the scenery, I continued to get more wrapped up in the furious battle within my head.
I couldn't understand why everyone had just dropped their lives and listened to Edward. He had simply told us we were leaving Forks and it was done! End of story. Since when was he the leader of our family? Since when did we have to listen to him? Well, Edward had said we could go where we like – we didn't have to stick around – however he claimed Forks as an off limit area. If I wanted to go anywhere, it would have been back to Forks. Yet, for the sake of Bella, we needed to stay clear of the place altogether. I didn't care what Edward said, how brave he acted outside, he was crushed with the thought of Bella moving on. Why couldn't he just admit to himself that no matter what, whether it was safer or not, he and Bella were meant to be together? Fate had decided – it was done.
My anger dissolved into sadness. I was pretty sure that if a vampire could cry, I would have been in full tears by now. I looked strong, determined, intimidating, but – like with most girls – I was also very fragile. There is no person in the world that is made to handle every punch that is thrown at them. We aren't made that way. Even we vampires, whose humanity is stolen from them, still aren't made to cope with everything. Everyone – every single creature on this Earth - is made to get mad, upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. We aren't supposed to handle everything.
I was grateful Edward wasn't here to read my thoughts. I wasn't sure if I could handle seeing his gloating face. I knew he probably thought I would be glad that we had left Forks. Damn, he would have been in for a surprise. I guess that once you called a place Home, the feeling never really left. You could move half way across the world, far away from it, yet it would always have a special place in your heart. And, though no one would ever think it, I had exact same feeling about Forks.
And, even though I was a vampire, who had a touch like ice, there was one thing that was certain since our departure from Forks: Life got cold.
Just a random ONE-SHOT. I love exploring what the Cullen's probably felt like after they had left Forks. Please, review! Lots of love x