So the humor is distorted, and Pac-Man sounds on the verge of depression, but I figured for the greatest yellow circle ever to walk the Earth, he has to have some drama to him. X3

The 80's game of Pac-Man still is one of the most popular video games of its time. A simple game, controlled by a joy-stick, the protagonist a yellow circle with no emotion, reason, or meaning to be there, other than to be the entertainment of the player.

However, going towards its thirty year of existence, currently the twenty-ninth, a little, yellow circle is about to be himself.


Ow ! I think I bit my tongue.

.....I can talk ? Whoa. I think I've heard the humans talk about this outside of the magical screen. It's called a conscience. A conscience separates the human from the animal, so I am no longer an animal ?

Nuh-uh. I never was an animal.

But then.....what am I ?

I go to the nearest wall and look at myself in the glass. I'm a circle with a giant, gaping hole cut into me. Is that hole supposed to be my mouth ? HEY ! IT'S CALLED PLASTIC SURGERY ! .....Right ?

This sucks. I'm starving. I didn't think that word was in my vocabulary, but I guess eating ghosts for almost thirty years doesn't really fill up your appetite. I could go for what the humans call a 'corn dog'.


Oh. It's Blinky. He's the ghost that's red. He keeps circling the maze, those wide, blue eyes constantly staring at me. Has this always been the way of the game ? What sick weirdo enjoys this ? Can't they see that I'm hungry ? And that Blinky and his friends are complete morons ?

Hey, a little boy wearing some sort of jersey is coming closer and closer to the magical screen. I'm starting to itch on the corner of my mouth, but I don't have fingers to scratch. Itch-itch-ITCHY ! I hope the little boy can help.

He stopped. He's sitting right in front of me, smiling. There's this stick thingie in his hands, with a button on top of it. What is he doi-


Yiiick, Blinky's shoved down my throat. It tastes like failure. He keeps coming into me. I'm going to puke any minute, I swear.

Pause. I can't move. I'm frozen. Stupid little boy paused me to get a cookie. I want a cookie. I'm starting to hate failure. I'm really starting to hate Blinky. I'm starving and I itch. How could the Mario live on mushrooms every day ? He must have what is called food poisoning. Yick-blech-meeeelp.

Waka-waka-waka. Not....again. I wanna go home ! Wait a sec....I am home. Who made me like this ? I hate being in this screen !

....Something turned off. The little boy has left us to pursue his other evil intentions. swelling under me. It feels like a liquid mass, but I don't understand this. Liquid and solid, fused together.


What is a bathroom ? I've never heard of a bathroom. It's something the humans do....but.....



Ow. I'm covered in brown, liquidy goop, and Game Over is flashing upon on the screen, followed by 'Play Again ?'.

No....I don't want to play again. I don't want to eat Blinky......

And most of all.....I wish to never have a conscience, as if you never have something, you shall never want it in the first place. The humans...said once.....