AN: So this is my first Twilight fanfic. It's pretty lame and probably not that funny, but oh well.


"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN!", Alice screeched through clenched teeth. Everyone in the cafeteria turned to look at the sudden outburst . Everyone looked extremely surprised and confused. The Cullens were usually quiet and kept to themselves.

"EDWARD! I SWEAR! IF YOU TOUCH ANY OF MY CLOTHES I WILL CRUSH YOUR VOLVO!" If Alice could, she would be bright red with anger. Her breathing was irregular and her hands were balled into tight fist as she glared daggers into Edward. Edward just sat across the table from her laughing hysterically. While I starred at him dreamily, burning his musical laughter into my memory, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie looked between Alice and Edward. It was obvious that they were having one of their silent conversations. But, everyone was curious as to why Alice was freaking out.

"Edward…what's going on?" I asked worriedly. Alice looked like she was about ready to murder someone. The Cullens all turned to look at Edward, waiting for him to answer.

"Oh nothing…" Edward stopped laughing long enough to give us an answer that in fact, answered nothing. Alice slowly stood up in her enraged state. The whole cafeteria was enthralled by the two's exchange.

"Edward…" Alice said slowly through clenched teeth, "You have exactly three seconds to run before I tear you limb from limb and through you into a crackling pit of fire!"

"Alice, honey. I think you should calm down. You don't want to do anything that you'd regret." Jasper stood patting Alice's shoulder and probably sending her waves of calm, although she didn't appear to relax at all. Alice just shrugged his hand off and glared at him. Emmett just sat at the table laughing like an idiot chanting 'FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT'.

"One…." Alice started counting. "Two….." she began walking towards Edward in a threatening manner. Edward stood up and started running around the cafeteria. Alice stood there shocked. She probably wasn't expecting him to run off. She took off running after him yelling a string of cuss words. Rosalie looked indifferent. Jasper looked panicked. Emmett looked amused. But I just sat there completely confused.

"My bets on Alice!" Emmett said to everyone at out table placing a twenty dollar bill in the middle with a huge grin. He looked at everyone's faces expecting them to place their bets like a poker game. Everyone just stared at him weirdly. Rosalie smacked him across the head.

"Ow, Rosie! What was that for?" He said, rubbing the back of his head.

"That's for acting like an idiot." She rolled her eyes and went back to examining her nails. He grumbled under his breathe, too low for my human ears to hear what he said. I sighed while digging around in my pocket. When I found what I was looking for, I slammed it down on the table right next to Emmett's twenty dollars. Emmett looked up from his pout to the fifty dollars that I placed on the table.

"My bets on Edward." I sighed. "Although, Alice could probably take him. But he's my boyfriend, so of course I have bet on him…" Everyone looked at me strangely like I had six heads, green hair and my name was Fabio. "What? Can't I gamble a little?"

While we were too occupied betting, Alice and Edward were still running around. I turned around in my chair to watch them. Alice was standing on one side of an empty table while Edward was on the other side. They were slowly circling the table looking ready to pounce. There was a low growl passing Alice's lips when in a blink of an eye, she jumped over the table and landed on Edward. The whole Cullen family and I ran over to Edward and Alice. When we got to where they were, Alice was sitting on Edward's back with his hands pinned back. The whole cafeteria gathered around the two of them on the floor starring at them in amazement.

Edward was kicking his legs around screaming like a little girl. Alice was just sitting there laughing victoriously.

"MERCY, MERCY, MERCY! ALICE! PLEASE JUST GET OFF OF ME!" Emmett was laughing about how Edward got taken down by such a small person. Edward glared at Emmett and Emmett immediately shut up. Alice was too busy boasting to hear the 'small person' comment or she would have made sure Emmett would never be able to walk again.

Edward was sitting on the floor looking like he was about ready to cry when teachers were trying to break through the circle of students to see what was going on. Jasper was trying to pry Alice off of Edward so that she wouldn't get into trouble.

"Edward! If you ever threaten to do anything to my clothes again. I swear I will drive your Volvo off a cliff!!" She said slowly with a menacing voice that sent chills up everyone's spines. Jasper was able to pry her off right as the teachers arrived.

"What in god's name is going on here!?" One teacher said throwing his hands in the air.

"Oh…Edward here thought it would be a good idea to do a strip tease on this table. But he accidentally slipped and fell off when he was taking his shirt of. We were all just seeing if he was alright….it was a pretty nasty fall." Alice said in a really sweet, innocent voice while batting her long eyelashes at the teacher.

"O-o-oh." He stuttered from Alice dazzling him. The dazzling apparently ran in the family. "Well, Edward, next time you decide to…do a…strip tease…DON'T." With that the teacher walked off muttering something about crazy high school kids.

"Ugh. Well I guess I lost that bet." I said handing over my fifty dollars to Emmett would was bouncing up and down looking like a giant version of Alice.

"Bella! What the hell!? You bet on me?" Edward said finally standing up from the ground and brushing off his clothes.

I stared at him giving him an innocent look. "Emmett was the one that started the bet. I was technically just defending you because Emmett thought that Alice would win…although I really did agree with him" I said but muttering the last part. All the Cullens started cracking up but Edward just looked furious.

"Oops…hehe." I totally forgot about their super hearing. Ugh! I'm such an idiot!

"I mean…I love you, Edward." I said flashing a smile before running for my life.

So there it is. I was thinking about making this in Alice's point of view and maybe Edward's point of view so you know the whole story of why Alice freaked out like that. I didn't add it in Bella's point of view because it just didn't fit very well. D:

So if you would like this in someone else's would be a really good chance to use that amazing green button know...the one that says review! =D

~No Sympathy ^_^