The Death of Fudge

Otherwise entitled 'What does it take to kill the Minister of Magic?'


It wasn't an abnormal day in the wizarding world.

A roguishly handsome young man with untameable black hair and shocking green eyes was casually strolling down a street in London, whistling a light tune and grinning at the other people traversing the pavement that met his gaze.

He turns down a rather dingy street which has several shabby offices, a pub and a wall covered in graffiti, leaving most of the morning commuters behind.

After a short while, he spotted an old telephone box that had clearly seen better days: it had been vandalised and the receiver was hanging limply off the hook.

He opens the door and grins to himself, as if remembering a joke as he reaches forward and presses the keys which correspond to the letters M-A-G-I-C. He waits patiently for a second before a voice emanates clearly from all around him, not simply from the broken public phone. In feminine tones the voice says, "Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Employees state their name, visitors must state their names and business, afterwards collect the badge and pin it clearly to the front of their robes. Please state your name/s and business now."

The man cleared his throat, "My name is Inglebert Peace Freely and I've come to assassinate the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge. Oh, and also that toad, Umbitch, and possibly a list of his other blundering idiots and the Death Munchers that I happen across. That ok?"

He waits in anticipation, and suddenly a 'ping' is heard and a badge pops out of the slot that is usually for change collection. The box starts moving down, just like a lift.

The lift stops shortly, the voice wishing him a good time at the Ministry and telling him that he is in the Atrium.

Because of the lack of light, the man gets his first look at the badge and bites back a laugh, shaking his head. He gleefully pins it to his robes and draws his wand, casually waving at the wizard reclined at a desk responsible for security and receives a wave back.

Harry Potter shakes his head and heads towards the Minister's Office, still amused by the badge.

For on the badge was clearly stamped: "I.P Freely. Vermin Extermination."

It turned out to be an unusual day in the Wizarding World.


Yo guys. LOL – I just thought of what would be on a badge if you told the box that you were going to murder Fudge, and this just came outta the blue and I couldn't not write it down. Meh, I might write more, I might not – depends wheat comes up, really. I got the stuff about the visitors entrance from what I remembered from the 5th HP book. Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling.