Dear me, what is it with me and the last two prompts being horribly sad? (Well, THEY END HAPPILY, but they start out sad. But I really really really like this one so I wanted it to be really really really good.)
--flails as words fail her--
And again, I'm sorry I missed your birthday Yuu-pon !!! =(
By an entire month and a day but whose counting!? –shifty eyes-- )I was trying to make these last two prompts better and longer, and after a while I was like "well, this is as best as I can do"… and then I started freaking on whether my spelling and grammar were okay…
This was inspirited by the baby book mentioned in this fic. :)
Honest to goodness, I found it by accident and started reading it and went "Holy Cheese and Rice! The names Allen, Lavi, Yuu, and Mana are all in here!" I didn't even look at the other ones I was so happy. However, it is a very old book so please don't message me saying YOU GOT THE DEFINITIONS WRONG! UHH!. I wrote exactly what the all-knowing and all-poweful book told me to write. Word for word.
--promptly gets dragged away to an insane asylum—
In any case, the book started it all and this was the result! Enjoy!
--- Love from, CK
Prompt #6:Night Out
Summary:Pre-Ark One-shot. Allen asks Yuu to celebrate his birthday with him outside the Order. Little does he know that Yuu has something special planned…
Rating: T (I'm not going to tell you why. It would ruin the one-shot) =3
The air was crisp and cold as thin snowflakes danced their way down to the dimly lit streets of London. The night was painted a deep midnight blue, stars twinkling alongside the snowflakes until it was almost impossible to tell which was which.
The only warmth came from the orange streetlamps lining the sidewalks and the few stores that were still open this late, the yellow glow from their windows spilling onto the streets like patches of sunlight from another world.
"Oh, Yuu! Let's go in here!" Allen said, tugging on his lover's sleeve with his gloved hands. The Japanese teen just grunted, allowing his moyashi to tug him towards a squat stone bookstore with a large window.
Normally, Yuu would've complained –it was fucking freezing and he did not want to be out here for any longer than necessary – but it was the moyashi's birthday and his only night off (as deemed by the fuckers at the Order.)
Yuu had been around the Order long enough to know that exorcists were only ever given one "day off" – their birthday. And even that could be taken from them if a piece of Innocence came up and the Order need said exorcist to work.
Yuu had never given a shit about that, considering no-one in the Order knew of his birthday and he preferred to be slaying akuma anyhow.
But Allen, as naïve and innocent as he was despite the battles he'd fought, had been with the Order for less than a year. The silver-eyed exorcist had smiled in amazement when Komui had told him he was allowed to take his birthday off and was free from all exorcist duties.
Yuu, needless to say, had been stunned when Allen asked, "Can I take someone with me?". After that, he'd asked Yuu in front of the entire cafeteria to join him in central London town to celebrate his 16th birthday. Yuu had merely said 'che' which Allen took as a 'yes.'
And it must've been the moyaashi's fucking charm (or the fact that Komui was glad Allen had asked him instead Lenalee) but the crazed Chief had called both Allen and Yuu into his office at 11:00 PM.
It had still been December 24th.
"You two are free to go into town now," he said. Allen hadn't protested as dragged his lover, wearing a coat, gloves, and his exorcist pants, into the cold and down to central London with a goofy smile on his face.
"Oh! Baby name books…"
Yuu was brought into the present by Allen's cheery voice, suddenly noticing the maternal images on the books surrounding him. Yuu grimaced at the sight.
"Why the fuck are you looking at baby names, moyashi?"
Allen just shrugged, taking a large book off the shelves and flipping through it.
"I dunno. I just wanted to see what it says about my name. You know, because these books usually have stuff like what your name means, what it originates from, what characteristics you're supposed to have –"
"Bullshit. They aren't accurate anyway. I thought you knew that, baka moyashi"
"They are too accurate!" Allen protested, flipping more desperately through the pages.
"Shouldn't we be thinking more about where the fuck we're going to be staying tonight?" Yuu growled out, trying to keep his voice calm. "Seeing as how Komui threw us out here in the cold and you – "
"Lavi!" Allen cried in triumph, sending a smile towards his dark-haired lover. Yuu just frowned in confusion. Allen shoved the baby book under his lover's nose.
"Lavi," Allen repeated, "A Hebrew name meaning 'lion.' People with this name are said to :
** Travel often
** Be critical of self and others
** Be physical and passionate
"I don't want to hear this shit about Lavi," Yuu said irritably, effectively cutting off his moyashi from saying anything more.
Allen pouted at his lover's tone.
"You don't think that's interesting? It's so perfect! I mean, Lavi's travelled with Bookman all over the world, and he is kind-of, hug-ey so the 'physical and passionate' is true –"
"Let's see…Ali…Allister…ha! Allen : A Gaelic name that means 'handsome' or 'cheerful'." Allen beamed at the pages as he finished the description. "Huh, that's pretty cool. So I'm handsome and cheerful'"
"Che, you look like a girl and you're so fucking happy that its annoying" Yuu scoffed out.
Allen stuck his tongue out at his lover before flipping through the rest of the pages. "Those who have the name Allen are said to :
** Be resolute and purposeful
** Have financial ups… and…downs…"
"Moyashi?" Yuu said in mild concern as he heard his lover's voice waver.
"'Financial ups and downs'…Master's debts…" Allen groaned, his pale face taking on a slightly green tint. "Ugh, I don't feel so good."
"Che, just keep reading, baka."
"Huh? Oh. Right… They are also said to :
** Recuperate quickly
** Be physical and passionate
** Be creative and opinionated."
Yuu nodded, only half-listening to the nonsense his pale-haired lover was saying. His dark eyes looked out the window to check the time on Big Ben, which could been seen looming over the tall buildings and rooftops of downtown England like a second, pale moon. The hands read 11:50 PM.
"Hmm," Allen hummed to himself, "Yuu: a Japanese name that means 'courage.'"
Yuu's head snapped around to glare at his lover, not wanting to hear the crap associated with what his dead parents had named him. Allen merely blinked up at the Japanese man him before a smile bloomed on the British teen's face.
"That fits you perfectly," Allen said, silencing any insults Yuu had been about to throw at his moyashi. "Brave and courageous and a real hero."
Yuu momentarily floundered for words at the adoration he could hear in lover's tone. He settled with a simple 'che' before turning away so Allen wouldn't see the heat rising to his cheeks. Allen saw it either way, but decided not to embarrass Yuu any further.
"Those who have the name 'Yuu' are said to :
** Have a strong quest for truth and knowledge
** Be attractive and charming
Allen snorted momentarily, laughing into his hand.
"Haha, you? Charming? Yeah right."
"I told you, they're not accurate." Yuu said.
"They are also said to:
** Have a strong desire to succeed
** Be blessed in some ways
** Be a bit forceful at times
** Be natural healers and councilors
"Hmm, 'blessed in some ways.' I suppose that explains your crappy attitude, Bakanda. And 'a bit forceful'!? You're more than a bit!"
"Shut up, moyashi."
Yuu took to peering out the window again as silence filled the small bookshop apart from the irregular flip of pages around the room. Allen would occasionally make a small hum or chuckle in his throat -- no doubt looking up Lenalee or Jerry's name -- and Yuu let the sound fill his ears as his eyes remained fixated on the snow outside.
Snow was falling in thicker flakes now, as if they were all trying to outdo one another for whom could be the fluffiest. The white flakes stuck to everything they touched, building themselves into an elegant frosting on every rooftop and streetlamp.
Yuu would never –never—admit it, but the snow was fascinating to him.
It was so cold and so… gentle, in the way it fell. It had never snowed like this back where he had grown up. It was always either a season of ice and numbness, or seasons of hot and humid autumns, springs, and summers.
Snow was something foreign to him. Foreign but beautiful and mesmerizing.
Kind of like Allen.
"Oi, moyashi –"
"It's Allen," the other said instinctively.
"What do you wanna name your kids?"
Allen froze with the book clutched between gloved fingers. He gawked like a fish out of water before a cherry red blossomed on his cheeks and he stuttered out a dumb, "H-h-huh?"
"Your. Kids," Yuu repeated, refusing to turn around to look at the younger, "what would you name them?"
"Do even fucking want kids?!"
"…yes…" Allen confessed meekly. He sounded scared, for whatever reason Yuu couldn't understand. "It's just, I mean I'd never… no-one's ever asked if, well …"
"Spit it out, moyashi!" Yuu demanded. He already felt stupid for letting the question slip through his lips. He didn't need the moyashi drawing out the question and making him feel even more like an idiot.
"Be-Before the w-war started," Allen said, stuttering as he recovered from his lover snapping at him, "before I met Cross and realized I was an exorcist, I had always wanted…well, not wanted… I had just assumed I would have a child. A son."
The words were quiet and gentle, as if recalling some fond memory or talking to a friend.
"And?" Yuu growled out as silence separated the two again.
"And I would…" Allen's tone seemed to become almost dream-like. "I'd name him Mana. After my Mana… my father…"
Yuu swallowed hard, hearing the raw emotion in his lover's voice. He tried to gentle his voice before he spoke again.
"What if it had been a girl?" Yuu asked.
Allen smiled to himself, as if recalling some secret joke from long ago.
"Mana is actually a girl's name. So, she – or he—would have been 'Mana' either way. And I was going to introduce them to my Mana once they were born. Hmm, its still funny to think of my Mana, dressed as a clown, as actually being a grandfather of all things. But I suppose it doesn't mater now. I'll never see him as a grandfather and I never will have kids. Those days…are…gone…"
Pain swept into Allen eyes like a flood, dulling and breaking his bright eyes until they looked like storm clouds filled with rain. It was as though the pain was like water crushing through his heart, which was made of the thinnest layer of glass, breaking and shattering every piece of it -- carrying the broken shards through his bloodstream until he was being cut from the inside out.
Yuu had his arms around his lover before the tears had even started to fall.
Allen seemed surprised when tears started pouring out of his grey-eyes, as if he had stopped feeling at one point and was now suddenly faced with what it felt like to have emotions again.
"B-B-but I mean h-hey, " Allen let himself smile a bit, "I never th-th-thought I'd realize I was g-g-gay, or fall in love with a Bakanda either, s-so….it's o-o-okay…"
"Bullshit, it is not okay" Yuu said, and Allen gave a hysterical chuckle into his shirt.
Unsure of how to comfort his lover, Yuu wracked his mind for any sign of comfort he could think of. The only one that came to mind was one Tiedoll had done for him once, when he'd been sick in bed and too weak to protest – Tiedoll had rubbed soothing circles on his back.
Yuu started to do the same hesitantly, unsure if he was doing it right. Allen was still crying silently into his shirt and his actions didn't seem to be helping at all.
After a few long minutes, however, Allen's shaking seemed to lessen and he seemed to have relaxed against Yuu's chest. The silver-eyed teen's warmth was soothing against Yuu's side and he only hoped his warmth was having the same effect on his lover.
Then, as Allen murmured something like 'thank you, I'm alright now' or 'you can let go now, Yuu', the older exorcist suddenly became aware of where he was and why they were here.
Yuu turned his head to the window again, his eyes searching for Big Ben's face.
The hands were almost touching midnight.
Almost Allen's birthday.
"Fuck," Yuu said softly and feeling his heart staccato and flutter and his insides grow warm and restless and nervous.
Fisting a hand in his pocket, Yuu pushed the moyashi away from him as gently as possible. He cleared his throat, feeling as though he wouldn't be able to breathe if he didn't. He braved a look at Allen and immediately regretted it.
The moyashi's eyes were brighter now, back to their regular starlight-silver and his cheeks were still faintly pink. He was frowning worriedly at Yuu, and despite how he'd been crying only moments before, the red puffiness around his eyes made him look so vulnerable and innocent.
And so gorgeous.
So gorgeous that Yuu forgot everything except for how much he loved the one standing before him.
"Moyashi," he began, trying to draw up the confidence and arrogance he could usually portray without thought. But something about Allen always ripped through that icy façade away like it was nothing more than paper.
Seeing his lover tilting his head to stare at him, Yuu cleared his throat and tried to speak again.
"Aren – I mean, Allen – I want to…tell you something. Well, give you something, actually. And this is early, I know, but I planned it for the future. I want us to be able to do this when the fucking war with the Earl is over, and the only thing you'll ever have to battle is stomach-aches from all the fucking food you eat… and little children who crowd around your ankles because they want you to show them more of those ridiculous circus tricks you love to do…"
A small smile touched Allen's lips at the thought and the gesture have Yuu some semblance of confidence. Maybe…just maybe…this could work…
"So anyways, what I'm trying to say is…is…"
The confidence blew away like a snowflake in the wind as soon As Allen took a step towards him. Yuu's stomach twisted itself into a knot that was so painful and unusual that he couldn't breathe for a moment. Panic crept into his veins, making him stutter and begin to shake.
"… Fuck. I just… Kami-sama… Allen, when you turn 18 and we're both legal -- although being legal is isn't worth shit considered the Church will probably hate us, but fuck them – but when you're 18 and I won't be charged with being a pedophile or whatever… Fuck! I'm..."
Yuu struggled to keep his breathing even.
"…I'm s- sorry, gomen nasai Allen. I'm trying to do this right demo, but, it's so… difficult to…to be fucking honest with you…"
Yuu trembled, feeling his very core shaking uncontrollably. He had never -- never – felt so humiliated or more vulnerable than he did ion this instant.
He took every bit of never he could muster as he stepped closer to Allen until he could taste the other boy's sweet breath on his lips and feel the fur of Allen's jacket touching his chest. He forced himself to breathe in deeply, but the air seemed to escape him as soon as he inhaled, leaving Yuu feeling dizzy.
Yuu dropped to his knees and tried to steady his voice as the fear and the vulnerability took hold of him. He forced himself to stare up at Allen's wondering silver eyes, despite how every nerve in his body was screaming to look away.
"Allen…moyashi… aishiteru…I love you. And I love you so fucking much that it hurts every time you hurt, and I have no idea why…but I want it to hurt, so long as it means I can stay with you. So, I want you to stay with me too. For…forever…"
He felt tears building up in his dark eyes and he couldn't understand or explain why. Still they were there and he couldn't push them back. He couldn't bear to look his lover in the eyes anymore, feeling too afraid to see the emotion on Allen's face.
"So, Allen…baka moyashi… koi…when you turn 18…"
Feeling clumsy and awkward and more horribly afraid than he had ever been in his entire life – through watching his parents die, to fighting akuma, to the nightmares of lotuses that plagued him –
Yuu pulled the silver ring from his pocket and held it in trembling, sword-calloused fingers.
"…will you be mine? A-And m-marry me?"
His voice was humiliatingly quiet.
He could hear how fearful he sounded and he cursed himself for it. He was supposed to be a man and he was supposed to be strong and not afraid of anything.
… So how was it that a 15-year-old could bring him to his knees, trembling and terrified, and hold his pride, sanity, and his very life in a single word?
"Yuu," Allen cried out.
Yuu wanted to vomit.
The trembling in his hands had spread to his shoulders and his knees now. His head was still tucked pitifully to his chest, afraid to look up.
A hand, blackened and marred with a cross, touched Yuu's cheek. It was warm and rough and Yuu was ashamed of himself when he found himself squeezing his eyes shut, willing back tears from his midnight-blue eyes.
The hand tilted his head up, until light was casting spots behind his eyelids. A rough caress touched his jaw to his cheek and the unspoken request of 'look at me' could not be ignored.
Yuu's eyes opened before the fear could stop him from doing so.
Tear-filled, swollen silver eyes starred at him. Allen was kneeling in front of him, wearing a smile brighter than the all the stars and the heavens combined.
"Yuu…" he began, "Bakanda…fucking bloody hell !– YES."
Lips that were innocent and beautiful and too pure to be touching him, kissed Yuu hard on the mouth, making his eyes slide close in pleasure instead of fear. His chest filled with disbelief for a moment before he was so warm he felt like he was being covered by the sun. He trembled for an entirely new reason now, and he moved his lips almost timidly over those of his pale-haired lover.
What felt like hours later, and after minutes of lips slowly pulling away, only to gently reach for one last touch, Yuu found himself starring at Allen. Allen starred back at him, blushing and beaming with happiness as tears glistened on his cheeks.
Yuu Kanda smiled in pure joy.
In pure thanks.
In pure adoration.
In pure love.
Allen just held him, curling a warm arm around Yuu and pulling his other hand gently through his lover's dark, silky hair. So Yuu buried his head into the crook of Allen's neck and inhaled his scent, kissed his pale neck, and just trembled in his arms as the tears finally overflowed. He curled his hands into the crisp fabric of Allen's shirt and Allen curled his hands into Yuu's shoulders, and all that mattered was that Allen was with him. Allen loved him.
And for the first time in forever, Yuu broke down crying like a child in the arms of the one he loved.
Outside the large library window, where the yellow store light painted a halo on the dark, sidewalk, Big Ben smiled down at the two lovers. And, as if it too wished to say Happy Birthday Allen Walker, both his hands struck midnight.
Happy (Belated) Birthday, Yuu-kun.
We all love you.
But no-one loves you more than your moyashi.