A/N: I'm giving this fanfic one last chance. TWICE it was deleted from this site and I hope it doesn't happen a third time. For you people, who hated this fanfic from the beginning, turn back now! I don't want to go through the same crap of you haters seeking to have my work deleted like all my others. If you don't like this fic, simply leave it alone and find something else to read.
In this fanfic, there will be A LOT of differences from how things happened in the TV show. First off, this fanfic continues off primarily from season four. Therefore, season five for most of this fanfic will have very little, if any, significance. In other words Kid Flash and Jinx never hooked up or met; sorry to all you Kid Flash/Jinx supporters out there. But still, I hope this fanfic will be enjoyed by everyone.
So with that said, here's the fanfic.
Chapter One: "Of Raven"
Raven (age 18) was walking down the hall of Titan Tower after leaving the roof of the building completing her meditation. Things have been a bit quiet since there haven't been major crimes taking place for the past two weeks. Deciding to have a cup of herbal tea, she made her way towards the kitchen when she soon came across Beast Boy's (age 18) room finding his door left opened for reasons unknown. She looked in to see if Beast Boy was in his room.
"Beast Boy," Raven asked as she walked into his messy room and found it unoccupied. Looking around his room she found clothes and electronic equipment everywhere, on the floor and around other parts of his room.
"He surely lives up to his name," Raven commented with monotone sarcasm. Seeing that Beast Boy was not in his quarters, she turned and decided to take her leave; that was until she saw something that caught her attention. She saw a small book of some kind resting on his desk. Walking over to it, she saw that the small book was in a lavender color like her hair. It was a hardcover book with a flying raven engraved in the middle of the front cover of the book. She looked at the top inscription written in silver italics, which read "Of Raven". Beast Boy's real name, "Garfield Logan," was inscribed on the bottom right of the book.
She knew she should just leave the room, but her curiosity about Beast Boy's book got the better of her. Looking around to see if anyone was approaching, she found that she was all by herself. Sitting down on a chair, she picked up the book and opened it to the first page. On top of the page read the title "A Raven Like No Other".
"Yep, this ought to be interesting," Raven said to herself. Taking a breath, she started reading into the contents of the writings:
Raven...how does one define it? One would say that it's simply a large crow with a straight bill and long wedge-shaped tail. Be that as it may, but this Raven I speak of is one like no other in the world. Like many things in life, many people quickly judge someone or something simply because of the outward appearance. This was also true of myself in regards to the telepath Goth woman known only as "Raven."
At first, I look at her as a person who prefers solitude and the desire to be around no one. She was a puzzle, one I found difficult to understand. She showed herself as someone who cared little about fun, humor, recreational activities with friends, and many other things that many love to do. She'd be around her friends and yet distant herself from us at the same time. I couldn't make her out. She would be with us but she wouldn't show any signs of emotions to be expressed. It was the same demeanor practically all the time: callous and unfeeling...
Raven was starting to feel annoyance and irritation from what she was reading but decided to read on anyway:
I used to think that Raven hated me most. Sure, I knew I was the prankster of the group and sometimes I can be annoying. Often times I try to get Raven to smile and even laugh just once but she'd give me a look showing disinterest in my efforts with sarcasm to back it up. She spends great amounts of time reading and meditating for reasons I at first couldn't begin to understand.
I used to think that this was all to Raven, but after the battle with Dr. Light, I saw something that shocked me to the core; this was the other side to Raven, one she tries so hard to hide and conceal from everyone, including me. I made an effort to want to find out more about her and what happened that night with Dr. Light, but I along with Cyborg, were accidentally pulled into Raven's mind by her special antique mirror. It wasn't until my encounter with all her different emotions and personalities did I come to acknowledge that Raven is going through much more than she usually lets on.
Raven explained that her emotions are dangerous because her powers are emotionally driven. The idea of possessing great powers being affected by emotions was something I never gave consideration to at first. But as I started thinking more and more about it I saw that something like this would be a heavy, if not a severe, burden on anyone's back...
Raven looked up from the book to see if anyone was coming. Seeing no one, she returned to her reading:
Not being allowed to express or feel joy, happiness, sadness, amusement, fear, anger, jealousy, excitement, or love, for fear that expressing or even feeling such emotions could do little or great damages to people, objects or places...something like this would tear any other person apart. Not so with Raven. She found ways of dealing with this curse through continuous meditation and seeking soundness of mind.
Outwardly, one would think that Raven is nothing more than a cold, unfeeling, insensible young Goth woman. But in truth, I find her to be one of the most hardworking, intelligent, dedicated, selfless, self-sacrificing person I've ever met. She gave up everything for the sakes of all her friends and everyone else
Inwardly, she cared so much that she chose to carry the heavy burden of being unable to express or feel emotions if it meant that everyone else in the world, including me, could live freely to enjoy the privilege of feeling and expressing emotions without fear of consequences. The more I thought about it, the more it made me feel bad for how we take such a gift for granted. I don't think any of us could even begin to understand just how much Raven selflessly sacrificed for everyone else's sakes.
There are times I see that she wants to cry but she refuses, afraid that doing so would result in some form of damage, whether small or great. So she forces her tears and emotions down so as to not destroy anything. After seeing her situations so many times, sometimes, without her knowing, I'd cry for her, wishing there was something I could do to show that all that she does is and has always been appreciated. So I wanted to tell her that all that she did and does still was never in vain...
Raven was touched to the heart by Beast Boy's words. She never thought that Beast Boy thought so highly of her, especially after how she'd usually treat him. In fact, she'd have never expected that Beast Boy of all people would cry and express emotions for her seeing that she couldn't do so as often as she'd want to. She continued reading:
During the time Terra was with us, Raven sensed something wasn't right. By the way she'd look at Terra on occasions I saw in Raven's eyes that she didn't completely trust Terra. A part of me wanted to investigate Raven's distrust while another part me chose to pay it no mind and hang around Terra. Sad to say I wished I listened to the other part me that wanted to find out why Raven was suspicious of Terra. The night she sold out Raven and my friends to Slade was one of the cruelest days of my life. We trusted and embraced her as a Teen Titan and she betrayed and hurt all of us. I felt torn apart from the inside; torn from what she did to my friends, my heart and to Raven. At the same time I felt guilty for starting to spend more time with Terra and giving less attention to Raven. I allowed my attraction and infatuation with Terra to cloud my judgment and disregard what Raven was sensing from her. I don't know what I'd have done if Raven hadn't consoled and helped me to deal with my situation. Later Terra sacrificed herself to stop Slade and save the city from a volcano that nearly burst from under the city. There were mixtures of emotions amongst us, while Raven did her best to keep hers in line.
That was so until Malchior the Wizard came along. He was a medieval character from a book Raven read about. To her shock he came to be a real person, more or less. This was one person who I grew to despise more than anything. That creature manipulated and played with Raven's heart and emotions. To him, she was nothing more than an exploit he could use to his own advantage. I'd have found a way to destroy him myself if Raven hadn't found a spell to imprison him back into the book. I hate people who toy with the minds, hearts and emotions of others. No one deserves such vicious cruelty; especially not Raven not after all she's done for us. That night I spoke with Raven about how sorry I was for what happened and how Malchior played with her heart. What I also told her that in spite of how different she is, even if she could be a bit creepy at times, that she's never alone and that she always has her friends and me to turn to for comfort and support. Loneliness and self-pity were just the few of many negative emotions I didn't want for Raven.
Again Raven felt touched to the heart by Beast Boy's words about her. She knew Beast Boy cared for her, but she never knew just how much. She already she was trying to keep back a smile while at the same time trying to fight back the tears that were building up in her eyes:
After my battle with Adonis when strange chemicals fell on me, I started exhibiting unusual behaviors and emotions; something primal that was deep within my being. This side of me that I never knew existed caused me to do things that I normally would have never done in my life. To say I was acting like a jerk to everyone would be an understatement. I acted totally outside myself and went against almost everything I stood for in regards to self-control, rationality and kindness. I was brute and harsh to everyone, especially to Raven, and that's what hurt me the most. I had no control; it was as though as I was an entirely different person. That night I transformed into a deadly raging beast that struck fear and terror in Raven's heart. At the same time, Adonis, who was also transformed into a beast like myself, came to attack me and ended up attacking Raven. I protected her despite my circumstances and was eventually 'cured' by Cyborg after the ordeal was dealt with.
Still, I can feel and hear that same Beast creature inside me waiting to come out again. That raging beast is a part of me that I had to learn to tame and control for everyone's sakes. After that experience, I felt that I was able to relate to Raven about how she lost control of her rage and became something that she so greatly tried to suppress inside herself for so long. Raven did offer me comfort about what happened but of course, I had to be myself and be the joker and of course, Raven too had to be herself about it; not that I mind it.
Over the course of time Raven have learned to express a little bit of her emotions, but still not the amount she really wants to express freely. If I had to choose between being a shape-shifting Teen Titan or giving up all of my powers just so Raven could spend the rest of her life being free to express her emotions and feelings without fear of consequences...then so be it: I'd give up my powers for her without any regrets in my heart. If it meant that I had to spend the rest of my life as an ordinary person with an ordinary job, just so Raven could be free from her curse and live her life as she pleases, then in all, making such a great sacrifice for one as beautiful and selfless as the Goth woman Raven would be worth it!
Raven closed the book and set it back on the desk exactly as she found it. What she read was more than what she was going for. It was so much more than what she was able to take in at one time. Beast Boy's words were so beautiful and heartfelt to her. She never knew he was capable of such writings; it was overwhelming. She was feeling her emotions affecting her all at once. At the same time, she was starting to feel new emotions and sensations, ones she never felt before in her life. She had to get out of tower before she did something she'd later regret she thought.
Taking to flight Raven ran out of Beast Boy's room and made her way to the roof of Titan Tower. On the way, she turned to her right down the hall and crashed right into someone and both fell to the floor. She looked and saw that the person she ran into was none other than Beast Boy himself.
"Where's the fire," Beast Boy asked while rubbing his head, "You're in such a hurry to get somewhere."
He got up and dusted himself off. He extended and offered his hand to Raven to help her up. Accepting it, she embraced his hand and immediately felt warmth flowing throw her. She fought back a blush that was trying to break free.
"Is there trouble," Beast Boy asked curiously while not noticing a blush was slightly creeping out on Raven's cheeks.
"No, there's something that I have to do," Raven said hastily. Before he could ask another question, Raven released her hand from Beast Boy's and continued on her way to the roof, leaving a perplexed Beast Boy watching her departure.
"That's Raven for you," Beast Boy said to no one in particular. Raven ran and reached her destination on the roof. Taking to the air, Raven flew off into a deserted area in the mountains. She had to be alone, her new emotions and sensations were becoming too much for her to handle.
Looks like Raven read and found out more than she was counting on. What will result from this?