Title: The Human Psyche
Word Count: 1,011
Summary/Description: Sai is still learning the subtle nuances of the female mind. (Alternatively: Karin is crazy, and Sai is getting a clue.)
A/N: Written for Yukari Rin, again for the first kiss drabble meme. I really enjoyed writing this. :DD Takes place in the future, after all this tralala is over and done with. I also wrote this a rather long time ago, which might be evident.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
…The human psyche was a strange, strange place, Sai decided, sitting at the counter in the quietest, darkest corner of the bar.
It would certainly explain why Karin, who had previously declared that she could not abide him, that he was far too annoying to try to figure out, and a weirdo to boot, (her very own words, not his) was currently sitting in his lap, breathing in his ear and making these strange little noises in the back of her throat that he wasn't quite sure what to make of.
He wanted to ask her to get off of him; there were many other stools at the counter, and she was rather heavy. But he had been reading up on 'tact' the other day; he didn't care very much about it, but evidently, other people did. From what he read, he had a suspicion that telling Karin that her weight was making his thighs numb wouldn't be the wisest move, especially with someone of Karin's temperament.
"Why don't you talk to me?" she was saying, a pout firmly fixed on her lips. Her cheeks were darkly flushed, and he could smell an intolerable amount of alcohol on her breath. She was obviously inebriated. He glanced around the wide expanse of the bar, hoping to spot Sasuke-kun, or Suigetsu-kun, or anybody else, really, who would be able to better handle this. No such luck though; he could not make out any of the figures dancing or sitting in the dark room.
His attention quickly switched back to the bespectacled girl in his lap when he realised that she was saying something.
"—and ever since you killed your brother and came back to Konoha, you've either been spending your time with the Hokage, boring officials, in a cell, or with your boring old team-mates. You've got no time for me anymore~" she complained, eyes droopy.
Oh. Now he understood. Well, this was easy enough to handle. Karin was simply confused. He fixed his face with an amicable smile, and shifted slightly to evenly distribute her weight across both thighs.
"You are mistaken," he informed her affably. "I am not Sasuke; I am Sai." It was an understandable mistake, he supposed, when she was so intoxicated. All of her senses were probably skewered. And he and Sasuke-kun did have certain physical similarities that could cause her to become mixed up.
Instead of embarrassed and apologetic, however, the emotions that Sai had read would be quite appropriate for this kind of situation, Karin seemed rather cross.
"Sasuke-kun, that's not nice, to try to pass yourself off as that guy. What, don't you like me anymore?" She leaned closer, and veered towards his mouth.
…She was very drunk, Sai realised. Hm. This could be problematic.
"Karin, I really am not MMPH—"
…She had something on her lips, was his first observation. It was sticky and glossy, and not altogether unpleasant. It smeared all over his lips, and got on his cheeks a little. It wasn't so bad until she opened his mouth, and he tasted the sticky thing. It was awful. He could barely restrain himself from grimacing. And he wasn't sure why she was opting to put her tongue on his lips, and even endeavour to get it into his mouth. Probably a side effect of her inebriety.
He was the first to pull away from the kiss, because it started to get distinctly uncomfortable. Sweat was curling on his brow and behind his ears, and his pants felt tight. Karin was looking at him with lowered lids and a tilted smile.
"Well?" she said, and arched a brow.
…He supposed she wanted an evaluation of the kiss? Hm… in his limited experience, girls seemed to either want honesty, or the exact opposite of honesty. He considered Karin, and everything that he knew about her. Honesty, Sai decided. Honesty is best.
"It was not the most unpleasant thing that I have ever experienced," he said with a cheerful smile.
And got slapped across the face.
Karin's shoes made angry click-click noises on the floor as she stormed away.
Well, Sai considered, still smiling. Hm. Perhaps honesty was not the best bet in this situation.
After a few minutes of unsuccessfully trying to understand what had transpired, he got off the stool. It would be best to tell Sasuke-kun about what had happened. It would help to avoid confusion in case Karin confronted the Uchiha later. And besides, Sasuke-kun was his friend. Smiling widely, Sai went off in search.
He found Sasuke with Naruto and Sakura on a couch on the other side of the room. He briefly thought back to what Karin had said. It was true. Sasuke did seem to spend all his time with Naruto and Sakura now that their team was back together again. He wasn't sure yet how he felt about it, but Naruto and Sakura were happy.
"Sasuke-kun, a word, please?" he asked genially. The Uchiha, who had been listening to one of Naruto's stories with a small smile on his face, immediately donned his usual uncaring, deadpan mask. He excused himself.
"Yes?" he asked, when he and Sai were a few feet away.
"I just thought to inform you that Karin-san just mistook me for you not three minutes ago. It was very—well. Since this may cause awkwardness in the future—"
"Wait." Sasuke put up a hand, cutting him off. "Karin mistook me for you?" Sai nodded in confirmation, and Sasuke frowned.
"That's not possible. Only ten minutes ago she was over here talking to us. She had been looking for you. She couldn't have gotten us mixed up; she knew all along that I was here."
Sai, still smiling, blinked. Many times.
"Are you sure?" he asked. Sasuke nodded, arms folded across his chest.
"Well, thank you for your time, Sasuke-kun," he said pleasantly, and turned to walk away.
…The human psyche was a strange, strange place, he reaffirmed to himself, and walked back to his quiet corner of the bar.