Author's Note: The first Dizzy-centered fic perhaps… a KyxDizzy too. It's not that I'm getting tired but its kinda not very pleasing to see your name 4 times in the same page in GG. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with me, it's just that where are the other fanfiction authors!? Where are they!?How about the other characters!?
This is an Overture Fic, meaning that it is set at Illyuria. If you don't know Overture: Ky is king, and it is heavily implied that he had an illegitimate son named Sin with Dizzy. But in fact, the Gear and the knight are already an official couple.
Another fact: Ky and probably a chunk of the GG world population are Christian, heavily implied to be Catholic. So this fic is going to have many religious insights which I feel to be very appropriate for the situation and theme. After the long thought, I decided to write the fic on mostly Dizzy's point of view.
We often see Dizzy as a kind and innocent girl, but I have always believed that there is more to her than what it appears on the surface.
WARNING: Here's a sad and angsty and HARSH fic with RELIGIOUS ISSUES, I really mean it, about what I think Dizzy feels as a 5 year old in the fic.
She rarely went out of the castle except for festivals. There was nothing exciting to do alone anyway, and there wasn't any place that she desired to go to. Again, she wore her favourite cloak, with a hood that can cover her face completely. In reality there was no need to hide her appearance; except for the face she bore little resemblance to the Gear Dizzy. That girl died two years ago. Now she was just a woman walking around the town.
Illyuria was a big city, much bigger than Paris. But she liked the latter; the former lacked trees and flowers that reminded her of the grove and her hometown. The fountains were so high and purely for decoration that people were not able to drink its cool water. Newly built buildings and roads with paved with high-class materials were more common. At the sight of her familiar surroundings she remembered again Ky telling her that Illyuria was grandiosely decorated with such big and expensive statues when it was chosen as the capital for the Allied Kingdom.
As she looked back, she could see the palace from where she came from. It was made for the great Ky Kiske, and it was very costly. Of course he hated it. Except for the people, he hated "Illyuria" itself.
As she approached the town square, a fairly large group of people gathered caught her interest. From the crowd, she heard music. It was a happy one for her, and she never heard it in her life. She loved how the organ brought life to it, and it became more dramatic as she neared. Maybe at the next banquet, she could request it to Ky.
"Excuse me" she said to some people standing to take a peek on what was happening. In the middle of the crowd there was a red path, a laid cloth, and young ladies in gowns were walking on it. They remained standing on their seats when they reached them, which look like the pews from the Illyurian Cathedral, at the front. In the front there was a pulpit and a single facing it. Some guys escorting women come in next. There were many more coming, and they look like aristocrats- She didn't care about seeing them, Ky was king. What mattered were the roses…She had never seen so much in her life! Hundreds adorn the arcs- red, pink, peach, and white ones.
She was not entirely sure what was going on with all the people marching on so she asked a woman beside her "Excuse me ma'am, but what is this?"
The older woman looked very surprised at her question "You've never seen a wedding before!?" she answered.
Dizzy suddenly felt stupid for asking "Thank you…"she said in response. It's true that she had never attended a wedding before- her foster parents never took her with them in social gatherings.
The pretty little flower girls came. She can't help but stare at them as their puffy balloon skirts resembling inverted water lilies seemed to bounce with each of their step. The petals clumsily scattered reminded her of the spring in the grove when the fruits of the trees began to grow. Oh, the nostalgia…
If I am to be married soon, March could still be my flower girl. That would be the cutest! Maybe the maidens that marched a while ago could be May, April, June and everyone else except Mrs. Leap! And those flowers- Guess she'll ask Ky for every rare flower that she wanted. Will it be fine with him?
Something bright was on her left- and as she turned and looked, what met her eyes was the most beautiful dress she has ever seen in her life. It was of pure white, and it glowed like a light among the background of different indistinguishable colors. In her hand was a bouquet of white roses. There's no mistaking it, she was the bride, her face barely visible because of a silk veil, and by her side was an older man.
"Ummm…excuse me again ma'am but who's the man beside her?" She asked again, wanting to confirm if she's right about what she was thinking.
"Oh, that is her father. He escorts her to signify entrusting her to a new protector, her groom" the woman explained.
"Oh, thank you..."With her growing curiosity, Dizzy wanted to know more.
If I am to be married, who will escort me? It was a year ago when she learned that her foster father was dead, leaving only Johnny and Testament. But former was a pirate and the latter is a wanted Gear. Then, how about hiring…Sol? No, he'll never agree. Guess she'll walk alone.
But where is the groom? Did I miss him? She did.
The loud voice of the priest startled Gear guest. "Brothers and sisters, we are gathered here today to witness the divine union of a man and a woman through this marriage, authored by our Almighty God." The crowd silenced as opening prayer started.
The Gear blended in and bowed her head like the rest. She had always found praying difficult; there were too many issues- but many times Ky urged her to, and turned out that at least there was faith in her. Yet most of the time, when she closed her eyes and mind, she saw the priest who tried to burn her alive years ago.
"Amen" The crowd repeated after him.
One day perhaps, she could pray to communicate, not to contemplate.
Everyone was already seated, including the couple to be. The Gear observed that people around were seemingly a new set. None of them looked as interested as her in the ceremony itself, coming only to see what was going on. The woman beside her was gone.
Thoroughly, scriptures were read, some by the priest, and some as a responsorial. They were like poems, and they give a solemn sense of sanctity in the place, even though it was public.
"As the Scriptures say, 'A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.'"
Somehow, the Gear loved listening though she found some words unavoidably contemplative.
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."
She was a Gear.
She should be enjoying herself by watching such an occasion, and she quickly dismissed such thoughts. There will be a proper time for thinking about them. Why should she be bothered by those words alone? The more she tried to forget, the more her mind became distracted even when she fixated her eyes onto the two candles lit at the front.
The ceremony proceeded with the priest explaining the significance of the symbol; God's guide to their married life. More people talked again, pledging some kind of support for the couple. A lot of questions and "Yes Father" answers came in next.
"…do you take her as your lawfully wedded wife?"
"Yes, I do"
"…take him as your lawfully wedded husband?"
"Y-yes I do." The bride sounded like she was crying. Dizzy wondered if she was happy or if she was regretting her answer.
Is it over? The Gear asked herself. Both of them already vowed, but she noticed that there seemed to be more: some coins were presented, and with them, two golden rings.
"…wear this ring as a sign of my love and loyalty. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit." The husband said to his wife. The woman said the same.
The coins symbolized something about the husband providing for the family and Dizzy felt a bit of childish pride remembering the amount of money Ky had, forgetting how many zeros his bank account had.
There were a large amount of prayers again before the two candles lit a single one, signifying the united lives of the married couple; even with established unique identities, they would respect each other and surrender in mutual trust. With the lighting, a veil was placed on the wife's head and one the husband's shoulders- then a cord to bind them together.
Another set of prayers, unique to the bride or the groom came in next. But the Gear found the words the two recited together both beautiful and sad, as she imagined her and Ky speaking it.
" We ask finally, until our old age we may love each one another and cherish each other as deeply as we do at this moment. May we both grow in wisdom as we rear the children that you will give us and nurture them with love and affection…"
She would never age with him.
A child…how she wished for one.
Soon after some more words and blessing from the priest, the veil and cord was removed.
The man of God, from a serious tone surprisingly became gleeful in his final statements "This couple is now united in Holy Matrimony. Let us rejoice and go witnesses to God's love! May I now present you…"
The crowd clapped as the names of the couple were announced. And then came a brief moment of anticipation from the guests as Dizzy observed, especially from the bridesmaids.
"You may now kiss the bride."
Dizzy heart beat as she watched the husband lift the veil of his wife, revealing a very beautiful smile. Then they held hands and stared at each other as the crowd cheered. With her full attention, the Gear waited for the kiss. She was expecting their faces to slowly inch their way towards each other, but she almost jolted in surprised as the couple suddenly locked their lips very passionately, earning a louder cheer from the guests, and a rather boisterous one from the other crowd.
Ky would never kiss like that!
She clapped for them too, but she began to feel the resurfacing hole in her heart. Jealousy perhaps? And guilt too? For the whole duration of the ceremony, she imagined herself being the bride. It somehow felt wrong, daydreaming for such a desire when the circumstances made it impossible. It was really wrong, indulging herself with a selfish fantasy…
But still, she longed to wear the white gown.
"Excuse me ma'am, I'm really just curious…Why does the bride wear white?" she turned to an elderly person beside her.
The old lady smiled at her and replied "It symbolizes pureness dear. The bride shows the beauty of virginity through her wedding clothes. You see, marriage is the holy union between a man and a woman."
"I see…" The young woman was hurt by the fact. Her simple dream was easily shattered, she was not chaste.
The elderly continued after a sigh "The generation nowadays is different. Now we see so many mothers and fathers who are too young, serves them right for being irresponsible! They mistake lust for love, those boys should learn to behave like gentlemen and those girls should not fall for every sweet line their lovers tell them" she scorned.
Dizzy kept spoke no word, but inside, her blood seem to shout out curses for what was said about women like her. Anger was a rare emotion to her, but she felt it growing inside within her heart. She was partly ashamed, greatly offended and hurt by the words that seemed to be hurled at her.
Irresponsible!? When was Ky irresponsible?
But... how about me?
Yet still…the elderly had no right to judge her- she never knew anything about her and Ky! She didn't know anything! She didn't know anything about love at all! If that old woman was right… it didn't mean that they were wrong at every angle. With a single blink of her eyes, the Gear's welling tears fell down her cheeks. Her sobs were followed with her hand wiping her face- again and again, for a few were not enough.
Somehow, all the frustration and self-pity she had been hiding the past hour stirred with the direct and frank statement. They surfaced, and she had nothing left in her to stop them. She pitied her situation and shame for such an ambition. Who is to blame? There was none. But she directed her anger to the old woman, feeling so much victimized.
"Miss…are you okay?"
"Yes ma'am, I was just touched by the wedding…" She pouted. It was an obvious lie in between her breaths. As she noticed that some people were already looking at her, covered her face with her hood and turned away, ignoring the old woman calling her.
But the sudden gasps behind her called her attention. She faced the festivity behind her to see the crowd looking up the sky. The two doves had escaped on their own; they flew past the confetti, the arcs and the tall buildings that block the morning sun. They were free.
The trip back home was slowest ever. As she looked up the clock tower she was surprised that it were two more hours before noon; she felt that it was past lunchtime.
Nothing comforts her except the recollection of the memories she and Ky shared. From the moment he rescued her in the grove, and the days she visited him, the year they lived together. None of those feel wrong…but that one passionate night. Should a single sinful act condemn the love they have for one another? No, it wasn't! It wasn't fair! If she was a human they could have married...
That was it. She was a Gear, man's sin.
She remembered words the priest read earlier from the Bible: Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever...
Love…Humans can be forgiven right? She was a Gear, considered as man's sin.
But she had always believed that her existence was not a sin. She can understand and feel human's sadness, happiness, pain, hope, freedom. She knew love, and was able to love. She was part human too, and God was love.
She approached the castle and looked upon the large cathedral beside it; it was her entrance. A secret passage connected it to her annex. The clergy knew her very well, for they were all former Sacred Order members. She proceeded on climbing the wide stairs of its entrance and stopped.
She pictured herself and Ky holding each other's hands and walking down as a newly wedded couple. The knights lined up holding up their spears or trumpets. From the windows of the church, petals scattered through made their way to them. The bells were ringing, playing a gleeful melody and they were wearing big smiles one their faces, filled with so much joy. And as the vision walked past her she imagined the multitude cheering with banners, musical instruments, and confetti and clapping- certainly much grander than what she witnessed earlier. And with the kingdom that rejoiced with them, Johnny and May, and the Jellyfish were hidden somewhere in the crowd, hopefully not pick-pocketing the nobles, and waving their hands for her to see them. Still, from the bottom of her heart, she wished that Testament would be there, secretly watching her with a smile on his face.
All hail the King and Queen!
At that brief moment, the golden crosses and the angels that adorn the white cathedral faced her. They woke her up from the dream and brought her back to reality- and she was thankful for it. She continued her way back alone. She had always looked up to the paintings of the saints and the Holy Father and Son in on the high ceilings, and they look irrevocably divine…
Slowly she walked through the passageway;her feet knew exactly where they were going but her mind remained wandering. As she reached the end of her path, the scenery of the castle halls greeted her; it was always dark. Her eyes then shifted into the throne room, the heart of the castle, it was not very far away from where she was standing.
Through her secret access, she saw that Ky was in there, surrounded by his knights, servants and advisers. Those were normal, even the aristocrat who seem to be proposing a marriage with his daughter. She can see that the noble looked very dissatisfied and walked away with his company.
Another one turned down again, nothing new.
Ky walked out too, looking very stressed…but she needed him so much right now. She followed him, trailing in a distance.
She entered his room a while after he did, forgetting to knock or even greet him.
"Dizzy? What's wrong?" The king asked with a concerned tone, a little surprised by the sudden entrance. He quickly got up from his seat and put down the teacup on his table as he came to her.
The Gear just leaned on the closed door with her face looking down. She resolved to hold back her crying: She was now a woman, not a girl. Yet, her shoulders shook unstoppably; she embraced her own body and breathed in deeply. She was unable to speak.
"Please tell me about it" Ky pleaded. He tried to touch her face, but her head bowed down further. He wasn't in a condition to comfort her, but he wanted to, and he slowly took her in his arms in a gentle embrace.
It was what she needed, but at the same time, it invoked her feelings. "Ky…I'm sorry I'm a Gear."
Self-pity wallowed her.
He retorted by her ear with a slight tone of frustration "We talked about this before, right? It doesn't matter! You have me and the Jellyfish. Didn't I tell you that humans and Gears can live together? Can't you see that we're a proof!? We will never give up on living!" He was slightly annoyed by her sudden angst, and to the fact that they had already talked about such a topic over and over.
The words struck Ky Kiske like an arrow. He knew exactly what she meant and how it meant for her. Guilt rushed into him, the one that had always tormented him. His anger grew, and he directed it to himself. Too wearied to think straight yet understanding completely what she felt, he choked on his words."Don't…worry...just…"
Closing his eyes, he calmed himself with a deep breath. He always knew that the word she spoke would haunt him, for he was the one responsible. She was innocent and lost and he was the one who was supposed to help and lead her, but yielding to his fervent love for her instead brought too many realities that she couldn't handle yet. She was a woman of strength and character, but still, she was still very young for the world. It was his fault.
"We met, because you're Gear and I'm a knight. We were brought together despite the circumstances for a purpose. Don't worry…we'll find way just like before. I'm sure we will. Just forget everything for now and let me handle it."
With one hand he stroked her hair and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. The Gear calmed down, but wet with tears. She unfolded her arms and embraced him back; he was what she needed for now…not answers. But she can't stop herself from asking one more question.
"If we get married…" She paused.
"What about it?" He replied with a slight, though a little fake, enthusiasm to cheer her up.
"Can I…still wear white?"
"O-Of course you can…"
I promise I'll write something happy again!!! It's just that I can't ignore the inspiration for this kind of fic. I really hope nobody's offended, I put a warning. I'm really sorry for so much angst; hope I didn't ruin your day. I'LL WRITE SOMETHING HAPPY OKAY?
I actually wanted to write a Ky point of view, but believe me, it's very much mature, guilt-ridden, religious and angsty than Dizzy's.
Mr. and Mrs. Villamayor for wedding rituals information
Gourami1's beautiful piano version of "Still in the Dark" for mood
Verses taken from the Bible (chronological):
Genesis - Chapter 1:27-30
Ephesians - Chapter 5:33
1st Corinthians - Chapter 13:4-8
Thanks for reading, PLEASE REVIEW :D