Try not to grieve.
Even if the world won't forgive you,
I will forgive you.
Try not to grieve.
Even if you won't forgive the world,
I will forgive you.
So please tell me,
How will you ever forgive me?
If I had just destroyed it...
It's best if it was all torn up, I thought.
That's what I believed.
No, what I still believe.
At this very moment I believe it.
But...I hardly realize it.
Because that which I want to believe, is the one thing I can't accept.
These words keep repeating themselves to me. I know I have heard them before, sometime long ago. In a place that was the same as here, but different. In a voice that was familiar, yet it was a voice I've never heard before. That voice, it sounded so...pathetic. So distant. So...
Why are you sad? What have you done? What kind of sin have you committed, that you believe you can not be forgiven for? You don't need to worry; I can forgive you. No matter what, I will forgive you.
Because I know the feeling.
I know what it is like to feel like you've committed a terrible sin and that you'll never be forgiven because of it. That sin has tainted your hands and your heart. Nobody could ever wash it away. At least, that's what I thought. I've committed sins that I never would've thought would be forgiven. I've committed sins that have tainted my body and soul and thought would never wash away. I've lived the remainder of my life thinking this, until the very last moment of my life, where I was, finally, forgiven. It lifted such a weight off of my shoulders, and I felt free.
So I will do the same for you.
I will forgive your sin, no matter what the sin is. I will open my arms and wait for you to come into them, so I can embrace you. I will show you that kindness which you thought you would never receive. Because I am like you. Because you are like me, a lost little lamb with black wool in a flock of white sheep. Always wandering, hoping, that someone would accept whatever it is that you've done. And then finally, you found that one white sheep that says, "It's okay. I will forgive you for having that black wool. It's okay." And then you can live happily among the flock of white sheep, because you were forgiven.
So don't grieve over your mistake. I will hold out my hand and wait for you to take it, so that in the next life, you won't be alone. Because I will be with you. Whatever mistake you make, I will be there to forgive you. So, come. Take my hand. Don't hold on to that burden anymore. I want to see your spirits lifted, so that you can smile that bright smile of yours again.
I have always admired you. I've admired your smile, I've admired your brightness, I've admired the way you can maintain your composure even when things are bleak, I've admired your strength. So, even through all of this..........
The early dawn was cool. The light breeze rustled in the leaves of the trees, a bird called in the distance his song, the rising sun began to dye the early morning sky with shades of purples, reds, oranges, and yellows; this was truly paradise. Many people don't get to see mornings like this everyday. It was a shame, really. This was why the people in this small town of Hinamizawa were grateful for their lives. True, it was rural, and it was isolated deep in the mountains, but they couldn't complain; this was the good life, and they enjoyed every minute of it. The children especially enjoyed their lives here. The air was cool, crisp, and clean, much different from the air in the city. A few people even got up earlier than the sun just to watch it rise every morning. One such person was a young girl. Rena Ryuguu. She was born here, but moved once entering elementary school. She returned a year later, due to an....incident. But once she moved back, that cheerful smile that everyone knew and loved also returned.
She was sitting on her bed, her knees curled up against her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs, staring out the window with anticipation. The sky was already starting to change colors, and a faint light came in from over the horizon. She watched, waiting, waiting, until finally the sun came up completely. Upon seeing the bright sun, an even brighter smile formed upon her lips, and she felt triumphant. A moment later, her father walked in.
"I see you're up again, Reina." he chuckled. She turned to look at him over her shoulder, and smiled once again even brighter, and even giggled a little.
"Of course I am, Papa. You know I like to watch the sun rise." she responded. He smiled as well, and looked at his watch. "I think you'd better get ready for school. You have to meet Keiichi this morning, don't you?" At hearing this, she lept off of her bed and onto her feet in a single, graceful movement. Her father left her room so she could get ready for the day. The teenage girl pulled off her pajama shorts and spaghetti strap, quickly replacing them with her school outfit of a uniform skirt and sailor uniform top. She pulled on some socks, grabbed her school bag, and hurried downstairs. Her father was in the dining room, setting down a small bowl filled with rice. The table was covered in breakfast dishes, and the aroma was intoxicating. Despite the seductive attempts of the food, Rena only gobbled down a few pieces of fish and a bowl of rice washed down with some tofu miso soup.
"You might want to slow down there, Reina. What's the hurry?" he laughed. She wiped her mouth with a napkin, before grabbing her bag and heading towards the door. She grabbed her shoes from the shoe-shelf and shoved her feet into them.
"I have to meet Keiichi-kun, remember? There's something important I want to ask him!" she replied, making sure her feet were in the shoes enough to leave. She swung open the front door and stepped outside.
"Something important? Reina, what could--" he was interrupted with a "Bye bye, Papa~" and the door shuttting.
The sky was now a bright baby blue. Birds were chirping, and the cry of cicadas were beginning to fill the air. The girl hurried to to spot where she and this Keiichi guy met every morning so they could walk to school together. But today, she hurried even quicker than usual. She did have something important to tell, and just the thought of it made her full of energy.
It's June, 1983. The town of Hinamizawa. Every year, at the beginning of summer, the town had a special festival called the "Watanagashi", or cotton-drifting. The festival was to celebrate the ending of winter and beginning of spring, and as such, to celebrate the renewal of everybody's spirit. The cotton is pure, and soaks up the bad things inside a person's body, so that the person can live on healthily through the year. Before the actual cotton-drifting, however, there were a bunch of stands with food and games and the like, and everybody had a good time. It really was one of the most important days in the lives of the people of Hinamizawa. Rena's group of friends would naturally go together to the festival, as they did last year. But this year, she wanted to do something different. Upon arriving at the meeting spot, the excitement couldn't keep her still. It couldn't keep her patient. In her impatience and anticipation, she completely skipped the meeting spot and dashed down the road towards his house. The moment she made it to her destination, the front door opened and a boy walked out. Keiichi Maebara. The "new guy" in town.
"Rena? You're certainly here early." he stated, a bit surprised by the change in routine. Rena merely grinned and giggled a little "hehe".
"Well, that's because I wanted to talk to Keiichi-kun about something." she said, all bubbly and happy. He smiled and stepped towards her.
"Alright, but we're going to have to talk on the way to school. We don't want to be late." he reminded her. She nodded in understandment, and the two strolled back down the road, side by side. A light, pink blush covered Rena's face. She looked down, and stammered a little.
"Uhh, K-Keiichi-kun..." she muttered. This caught his attention, and he glanced over at her with a "hmm?".
"Uhm... I was wondering..." she paused, then stepped in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. She looked up at him, her face blushing even more now, staring straight into his eyes with determination.
"I was wondering if you would like to go to the Watanagashi with me!" she blurted out. No turning back now. Poor Keiichi seemed a bit confused.
"I...thought I was going with you. With Mion, Satoko, and Rika-chan, too." he pointed out. She shook her head violently.
"I meant with just me! Just the two of us..." she looked back down, a bit nervous. Keiichi couldn't help but notice how completely shy she appeared.
"...just us..." she murmured, her blush maddening. He glanced a bit to the side, now suddenly a bit nervous himself. Like hers before, his face was colored with a light blush. This was his first time being asked out by a girl, and a rather cute one at that. He didn't think that it was right to turn down someone who was so nice, so cute, so loveable... and, she did take care of him ever since he moved to this town of Hinamizawa. How could he say "no"?
"Of course I will." This answer made her look back up at him, surprised and stunned. She tried to say something, but her words were garbled up from the shock. Amused by this, he laughed and tossled her hair gently with his hand.
The two made their way down the dirt path to their second destination. Rena was giggling along in their conversation, when she suddenly noticed something strange.
"Oh? Mii-chan isn't here waiting for us." she blinked. Their friend, Mion Sonozaki, was usually at that spot by the creak, waiting for the two of them to show up so the three could walk to school together. But, today she wasn't.
"Maybe she's late. You know how Mion is." Keiichi said, bluntness in his voice.
"Hauu, but Mii-chan is never this late. Whenever she is, she's usually running up to us by now..." Rena half-whined, a hint of disappointment in her tone. Keiichi laughed, before tossling her hair once again.
"I don't mind if we end up going the rest of the way by ourselves." he said, making Rena blush. "H-Hauu..."
Judging by the maddening blush on Rena's face, Keiichi was guessing that Rena was thinking of something else besides just walking the rest of the way to school alone. He chuckled a little and grinned at that thought. Ever since they met, he knew Rena was an odd little one. She was a total sucker to romance things, she even said this herself. She sometimes went to the bookstore and looked at all of the romance novels, but never really bought any because she couldn't handle the content inside. What a hopeless romantic. But he only found that trait of hers even more endearing. And, because of that personality of hers, he could tease her.
"Hey, Rena." "Y-Yes, Keiichi-kun...?" "What do you say...we don't go to class today?" "E-Ehh??" "I don't really want to be around anyone else; just you. Your prescence is enough for me." "E-Ehh?!"
Bingo. Hearing him say that made her react frantically. He couldn't help himself. She was so adorable when she got all flustered over the tiniest of things, and he felt such pride whenever he was able to say something to have her make that face.
"I mean it. I just want to be alone with you, Rena. I don't want anyone else to see you, just me." he said, giving her a charming smile. Her face only went ever more red. Success!
"K-K-Keiichi-kun...." she stammered softly. She was blushing so madly, he could've sworn he could cook an egg just from the heat radiating off of her cheeks. He chuckled a bit, before his hand went to her head and patted it.
"Just kidding. I won't do anything to you." he said, which calmed her down a little. "O-Okay...." she said. He blinked. Was that....a disappointed look on her face? She really did want to be alone with him? Awwh, crap. She actually took it seriously? He gulped, suddenly a nervous aura in the air surrounded them.
"W-Well...To compensate, I'll take you out this weekend." he said. Rena snapped out of it, answering hysterically.
"T-This weekend? B-But that's the Watanagashi!" she stammered. He grinned cooly. "I know." She blinked, before smiling shyly.
"S-So...it's a date?" she asked. Keiichi nodded.
"Yes." he said, before grabbing her hand. "...it's a date."
The two new lovers (haha) had managed to just barely make it to class before the principal rang the bell. Keiichi was hunched over, his hands on his knees, panting heavily and a few drops of sweat on his face. Rena was leaned up against the doorframe, panting in the same manner. They had sprinted the rest of the way to get to school on time. Mion, who was at her desk, drew her attention away from the window and onto the two. She began to laugh.
"There is no way in hell that this is funny, Mion!" Keiichi yelled at her in between pants. Clearly, he was a bit pissed.
"Awwh, what's wrong, Kei-chan? Slept in a bit too late?" she teased. "Like hell I did! We were waiting for you at our spot 'cause we thought you were running late! But you've been here the whole time?!" he responded. She winked and stuck out her tongue at him. He stood up and charged at her.
"Damn you, Miiiooo-" his fury was suddenly interrupted. In his raging fury, he had tripped on his shoelaces. When he inspected them as much as he could, for he was flat on his face, he saw they were tied together.
"Satoko...." he growled.
"Ohohohohohohoho~" came a cheeky, obnoxious laugh from in front of his fallen self. "My, my, Keiichi-san. A bit clumsy this morning, are we?" she mocked. Satoko Houjou. A cheeky little brat that loved to play pranks; especially on Keiichi. He managed to get up enough to see her.
"Satoko, you son of a--" he muttered, before a gentle little hand lightly patted his head. He looked over to see an innocent-looking little girl with an adorable face.
"Owie, owie, fly away, good sir. The pain will surely go away if I do this, good sir?" she asked, looking at him with wide eyes. He melted under those eyes. There was no way he could stay mad after looking at that face.
"Y-Yes, Rika-chan. It doesn't hurt anymore..." he grinned weakly to reassure her. She grinned brightly with a "Nippah~" and giggled. Rika Furude. She was an adorable, innocent little girl. And she was best friends with Satoko. They were like polar opposites. Rena, who had finally managed to catch her breath, retied Keiichi's shoes correctly and helped him up onto his feet.
"Are you okay, Keiichi-kun?" she asked, worry in her voice. Like Rika, he gave her a reassuring smile.
"Yeah, I am. Thanks." he said, tossling her hair with his hand. Instead of blushing, she giggled. Mion noticed this change, however, the others did. Usually Rena went all shy and blushy whenever he did that. But, now she was completely fine with it. Something was up...
"Alright, what happened while I wasn't there?" Mion asked with suspecion, the three walking home together after school. There were no club activities today because Rika had to practice for the Watanagashi. She was something called the 'Shrine Maiden', and it was her duty to end the festival and begin the actual cotton-drifting using Oyashiro-sama's tools on a futon. At least, that's what Keiichi basically got out of the explanation they gave him when she left.
"What do you mean, Mii-chan? What do you mean?" Rena asked, grinning brightly in her usual, bubbly attitude. Mion then stepped in front of the two of them, stopping them in their tracks.
"I mean this! I leave you two alone for a morning, and suddenly you're all close and touchy!" she accused.
"We're not 'all close and touchy'. Where the hell did you get that idea?" Keiichi asked, unamused. "T-This! You patting Rena's head and Rena not freaking out by it!" she blurted. Keiichi smirked mischieviously. "Oh? You mean like this?" he asked, tossling Rena's hair a bit roughly, her giggling as a result.
"Y-Yes, that! What the hell is going on?!" Mion asked with a shocked expression on her face. She didn't like being left out of the loop. "I really don't feel like telling you." Keiichi said, his mischievious smirk morphing into a sly grin.
"A-and why the hell not?" Mion asked, a bit rattled by his expression.
"Because Rena and I are leaving now. Since we're so 'close and touchy' now, we're going to run off and do things that people who are so 'close and touchy' do." he mocked, grabbing Rena's hand and dashing off down the dirt path.
"Ahh, K-Keiichi-kun! D-Do you really mean that?!" she asked, flushing. "Of course I do! And Mion can't do a damn thing about it!" he sneered.
"Hey, wait a sec!" Mion called after them. She saw a distant Rena look back and wave, hearing a "Bai bai, Mii-chan~". She was so confused. ...what the hell was going on between those two?
After running down the path for a good ten minutes, the two finally slowed down. Keiichi grinned in triumph. "Haha! How you like that, Mion Sonozaki?!" he shouted to the heavens, knowing that only he, Rena, and the noisy summer cicadas could hear. Rena was looking down, a bit flustered. He noticed this out of the corner of his eye, and turned to look at her. "Rena? What's wrong?"
"W-Where you serious about that back there, Keiichi-kun? It wasn't just to m-mock Mii-chan?" she asked in a quiet voice, looking up at him. His body suddenly froze in place. Her beautiful, blue eyes were wide and watery, and her usually pale cheeks were bright red. She gave him a look that was just so cute, so irresistable... He had to look away, unable to handle that kind of look she gave him.
"What do you mean, Rena?" he asked, playing dumb. "I mean, about doing things that couples that are close and touchy do. Did you mean it? Honestly mean it?" she asked in a quiet voice.
"W-Well..." he stammered. Crap, how was he supposed to respond to that? He couldn't lie to her and say 'yes', but he couldn't let her hopes down either...He suddenly felt two small, warm arms wrap around him; two soft, perfectly-sized breasts press against his body and a head against his chest. He looked back to her to see that she was embracing him. It wasn't just his imagination; she was really holding him.
"R-Rena?" he was shocked by her sudden action. It wasn't like her to just come out and hug somebody, especially a guy, of all people. His only response was a tightened grip on his body. He sighed, before his right hand moved up and petted her head, his fingers tangling themselves in her redish-brown hair. It felt really soft, now that he thought about it. He never really noticed how soft it was and how good it felt to run it through his fingers. That was probably because he was always petting her head to tease her and never really pay attention to anything else.
"Keiichi-kun, please don't say things like that in a joking matter. You know I take things seriously, so...unless you really mean it,....please don't joke about it..." she mumured. A strange ping suddenly went through his heart. She thought he was serious? That would explain the look of disappoint from this morning, even after he said he was joking.
"Rena...do you like me?" he decided to take a bold move and ask her that. "Of course I like Keiichi-kun. Just like how Keiichi-kun likes me. We're friends, aren't we?" she replied in a calm manner. Hearing that word...'friends'...it made him think. Did he really like her as just that? A friend? And was Rena being honest when she said that she liked him, just as he liked her? There had to be some sort of misinterpretation in this somewhere; one of the two was misreading the other's thoughts and actions. "Yeah..." he said, his fingers not ceasing to run through her hair.
Hey, everyone! This is Yuu-chan coming at you with my first ever fanfic on ! This is a fanfic if Higurashi no Naku Koro ni (in case you haven't guessed, lol). Yay for typical-shoujo-confessions! Haha. If you're wondering about the random monologue in italics at the beginning, let me explain:
Everything in italics up to "These words kept repeating...." is from the monologue at the beginning of the original PC Onikakushi-hen. I got a tip from an internet buddy about the English patch and played it (so sad... -mourns-). The rest of that italics is by me. Who is the one saying that? You'll have to wait and see. In case you haven't guessed (deja vu no?), this is going to be a Rena x Keiichi fanfic. But don't worry. It's not all fluff. When I write fanfictions (or, when I will write fanfictions), I try to be accurate to the original story. This goes for characters' personalities, traits, the situations going on, etc etc. So, there will be violence. And paranoia. Muahahahaha...
I hope you all enjoy my first fanfic! Please give me your reviews and such! =D
(Oh! And for future references:
Shouraisei-hen = Chapter of Promises
Hatsukoi = First Love
Haishin = Betrayal
Katai = Mistake
Tatari = Curse
Moushiwake = Apology)
Those are chapter-chapter titles and their meanings! =D I say chapter-chapter because there will be a lot of sub-chapters or little parts
Hatsukoi : Friend
Like that. Hope I get enough readers so encourage me to keep going! Sayonara~