Disclaimer: The World Ends with You is the property of Square-Enix, and I do not claim to own any of their properties, have not claimed to own any of their properties, nor will I claim to own any of their properties. Thank you.
Jumping to Conclusions
The door to Neku Sakuraba's locker slammed shut, and with it, the school year. Neku sighed – in a couple of years he'd be a working ant, a corporate corpse, devoid of all love for ramen. There would be no more outings with his friends, no more gorging on fast food, and no more going to the Udagawa Wall Tag. Okay, maybe that last one wouldn't be so bad – the last time he was there, he died. Now that he thought about, Neku realized that his blood had tasted like chocolate.
He knew he never should have read "Twilight."
Neku drifted out to the commons to meet up with his friends. "Hey, Neku! Sup' yo?" Beat called out. Neku sighed. "Beat," Neku began. "Have you ever felt like you were getting too old, too fast?"
"Uh, Neku? Yo, people usually don' worry 'bout dis kind 'o stuff 'till their – what – thirty?"
"Well, yeah but"-
"I knew I never should have let you read "New Moon," Beat interrupted. Just then, Shiki, Eri, and Rhyme showed up, and the five headed home, passing some girls who were talking about a new art store at 104.
That Saturday, Eri, Rhyme, Beat and Neku were over at Shiki's house. They should have been studying for their French exam, but instead, they were watching paint dry. Can you blame them, though? Lyk, watching paynt dri is lyk, teh, awesomeest theeng evar! L33t sp33k, ftw!
Shiki got up for a moment, and headed towards the stairs, motioning for Neku to follow. Neku obeyed, and the two went up to Shiki's room.
An hour had passed, and the paint had finished drying. To celebrate, Rhyme baked chocolate chip blood. She too, had read "Twilight," and was trying to capture Edward Cullen. She failed, though she did net herself a session with the shrink!
Beat, who was hemophobic, excused himself, and went upstairs, in hopes of finding a Playboy magazine. What he found was something entirely different, but slightly related, and had nothing to do with porn, but was still relevant… sort of. When Beat passed by Shiki's room, he heard something very interesting.
"No, Shiki!" Neku insisted. "I won't do it!" What was this? Beat, with his awesome ninja espionage abilities, listened in.
"Aww…" Shiki sighed. "Just this once?"
"N-no!" Neku was flustered.
"What if something goes wrong? Then what?" Neku snapped.
Whoa. Beat knew Neku and Shiki liked each other… but wasn't it the guy who asked the girl? What if Shiki got pregnant?
Eri, who had come up to find the bathroom, was surprised, when Beat grabbed her arm and made her listen to Neku and Shiki. "What are you do"- Eri was interrupted when Beat put his index finger on her lips, and mouthed "quiet, yo."
"Just this once?" Shiki pleaded.
"No! I can't afford it!" Neku refused.
"It'll be fun!" Shiki said, a teasing tone in her voice.
"I know, but I'm very busy. How about next week?"
Eri stared at Beat, mouth agape. "Should I get her dad?" Eri mouthed. Beat shook his head. "Get Rhyme," he mouthed back. "She'll talk sense into her, yo."
"But I want to do it this week!" Shiki whined. Eri returned with Rhyme, who was very disappointed that Edward Cullen didn't want her blood. Joshua wanted her butt, but that was different. The three went back to eavesdropping.
"But… but… Alright. I'll get my wallet." Egad! So that was where Neku kept his condoms! Well, if they were going to be safe…
Rhyme and Eri burst the door open. "Shiki!" Eri said. "As your best friend, I cannot let you do this!"
"Why?" Shiki didn't understand. "I'd give the end result to you."
"I don't want a baby! And neither do you!"
"What does that have to do with this?" Shiki didn't comprehend.
"Your parents didn't give you the talk or something?"
"…What?" Shiki still didn't understand. Eri, who was, in a word, flabbergasted, just stared at Shiki, letting her eyes bug. "Shiki… When a man and his wife love each other very much"-
Neku came back at that moment. "Okay, Shiki. I'm ready to go to Ten-Four."
"So you're doing it at a shopping mall?" Rhyme seethed. "Have some dignity!"
"Would somebody just tell me what the hell is going on? Neku and I are not having sex!" Shiki yelled. "We're just going shopping at the new store. They have really high quality thread, and I wanted to make you guys some hats!"
"Oh," Eri said.
"Oh," Rhyme said.
"Shiki, do you have any Playboy magazines?" Beat asked.
Meanwhile, Edward Cullen was snapping pictures of Neku's butt so that he could sell them to Joshua at a high price.
Author's Notes: This was written when I should have been studying for my French finals. Just so you know, I like the Twilight series. I haven't read past New Moon, so don't spoil it for me! By the way, I should probably right a Neku x Shiki fanfiction, a serious one.