Well, it seems that once again, I couldn't leave anyone waiting too long. I guess writing these stories is extremely fun, and it's even better considering how many people I have who actually read and review them. I seriously never expected to get so much recognition on anything that I've ever written.

But enough about that. This story is another in a series, the first two being The Incapability Of Haruhi Suzumiya before this, and then the first story, The Attraction Of Haruhi Suzumiya. I strongly suggest you read those two before you tackle this one. I've got a deeper plot in store for this story, but of course you can expect the usual bad humor, Haruhi and Kyon goodness, and etc. I want you guys to all enjoy this most of all, so I got myself a willing beta who'll make sure my stories stay true to the anime and novels(even though I've only read the first novel). I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Haruhi Suzumiya, or anything else that's related to her. That's all property of Nagaru Tanigawa, as we should all know.

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Hejin57 Presents...

~~~~~~~~The Revelations Of Haruhi Suzumiya~~~~~~~~

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If you asked me about my daily life, I'd have a quite a lot to tell you.

First off, I would be telling you that it certainly wasn't something you could consider "average" or "normal". Anything that might have resembled a normal boring high school life is devoid from any of my daily excursions. In fact, my high school life is inhabited in part by such beings as time travelers, aliens and espers. These said beings should be found only in works of fiction. They belong only in novels and story books. Places that obviously show that they don't exist in the real world.

But I had such things clearly present in my life. I had one of each, in fact. I knew a shy, meek time traveler, a smiling esper boy, and a silent bibliophilic alien.

And to top it all off, there was yet another factor. It was one that preceded all of these that I had just mentioned. In fact, it was the biggest thing this side of the universe.

It was none other than Haruhi Suzumiya, my bossy Brigade Chief, friend, and even more recently, girlfriend. She was the center of all of this. She was the one and only reason why such things as time travelers and aliens even existed.

And I was the boy stuck in all of it. Everyone calls me Kyon, even though it's just a nickname that my little sister had foolishly given me some time ago. Even still, it managed to stick, and my actual name has fallen into obscurity. I probably should just change my name to Kyon permanently one day, at the rate I'm going.

Life with Haruhi is definitely something else. Forget normalcy, or common sense. Suzumiya-san disregards both of these things for the most part, and when you're in her SOS Brigade, you'll find yourself doing the same thing. Over time, I have developed myself to become used to my Brigade Chief and the crazy things that are constantly happening around her.

I almost find it amusing that I'm still actually referring to her as Brigade Chief. I guess I couldn't help but get used to life as a member of her Brigade. Even though I was practically forced into it, I've begun to voluntarily conform to its ways.

God. What have I done to myself?

It was merely a week after the incidents that had might have led to the possible destruction of the universe. I had managed to once again prevent total disaster from occurring. Personally, I think I was just lucky half the time.

Today was a Wednesday, and a typical day in the SOS Brigade. I sat in my usual seat, a chess board set up in front of me as I matched my wits against none other than our local esper boy, Itsuki Koizumi.

It was intense, to say the least. While it had been common knowledge that Koizumi was clearly bad at board games, I had noticed that he had been progressively getting better these past few weeks. In fact, I had almost lost to him in chess the other day.

"Interesting move." Itsuki said to me, eyeing my white king like it was a prize to be taken. His eyes always had this look to them that could chill you to the soul, and it was hard to look away from them sometimes.

But don't go getting the wrong idea about me! Like I said, I'm with Suzumiya-san! That's certainly better than whatever alternatives you're thinking of.

All that aside, my mind had been focused on the current game at hand. Haruhi Suzumiya wasn't currently present in the room, and I clearly remembering her saying something before she left, along the lines of…

"I have something to go pick up from the Computer Research Society next door. I'll be right back!"

When I had heard the mention of "pick up", I could only assume that she was yet again procuring something from the poor computer geeks that unfortunately had their club situated next door to ours. I can still remember when Haruhi had gone over and blackmailed the Computer Research Society President into forcefully providing the SOS Brigade with one of their latest and brand new computers. The look of defeat on the President's face when he had been forced to give his precious piece of hardware away was still very clear on my mind.

"This game looks simple in its execution. It seems like a waste of time and energy to partake in it." An autonomous, robotic voice said from beside me, and it belonged to none other than the alien Nagato-san. I looked up and her, only to see that her large emotionless eyes were almost glued to the chess board, as if it was just another piece of free-floating data for her to analyze.

She actually was more interested in this board game than in her books? Now that was a surprise. If I clearly can remember, the only thing that Nagato-san had actually been interested in besides books was computer games. One time, when we had played a supposedly friendly strategy game against the those computer geeks next door, Nagato-san had actually enjoyed crushing them when she was able to detect that they were cheating against us.

"Would you like to play, Nagato-san?" I asked the human interface next to me, mostly because it sounded like she might be interested. I could tell Itsuki was wearing a plastic smile in front of me, but I ignored it.

Yuki just looked down at the chess board for a few more seconds, remaining silent as always. Without even giving me an answer, she went back to her usual seat, picking up another one of her novels and beginning to read it again.

I shrugged. I guess chess just isn't an alien's thing.

"I made tea again." A sweet, child-like voice said from behind me. I didn't need to turn to automatically know that it was Asahina-san, and her brilliantly brewed tea and constantly shining smile were always things that never ceased to brighten my day. She was wearing her maid outfit, and she happily served us the hot cups of tea she had just poured out of the kettle.

Ah. Taking sips out of Asahina-san's tea is like taking a sip out of the fountain of youth. It has an amazing rejuvenating effect on ones' body and soul.

But as with all good things, even the solace of being able to drink Asahina-san's tea had to come to an end. And that end came with the loud noise that accompanied the door to the clubroom being flung wide open as someone entered in a hurry. And that someone was none other than our famous Brigade Chief.

"Yes! I got it!" Suzumiya-san announced in triumph, holding up something in her hand. I stood up from my seat, suddenly interested in whatever Haruhi had trapped in the strong grip of one of her delicate hands.

"What exactly did you get?"

"This new game from the Computer Research Society next door. It's called, "Day of Sagittarius IV"." Haruhi said, specifically while reading off the front of the CD's case.

I couldn't help but almost groan at the title of this game. Was this another scam by the Computer Research Society to get their beloved computers back? They had lost not only one, but five computers in total to the might of Haruhi Suzumiya. Come to think of it, they had barely sold any copies of Day Of Sagittarius III at the last cultural festival, so it was making me wonder where they got the idea to make another one.

"I heard about them recently making it, so I just had to pick up one for the Brigade. The first one was okay, but this one looks so much better!" Suzumiya-san exclaimed, and she said it in a way that made it sound like she didn't really want anyone else's opinions.

Figures. I should expect that Haruhi never usually asks for anyone else's input on her actions.

"Go ahead and load this up on my computer first, Kyon!" Suzumiya-san commanded me, handing out the game in my general direction as an obvious hint that this was an order that needed to be carried out.

I didn't sigh, nor did I respond to Haruhi in any way. I simply took the game from her hand, and sat down in the seat in front of the clubroom's desktop computer, putting the game disc inside the disc drive and waiting for it to boot up.

I'm beginning to find it strange that Haruhi continues to treat me mostly the same, except for the times where she actually wants to hold me hand and kiss me. I guess that she really means it when she says she doesn't have time for such things as relationships. But somehow, she still manages to end up staying with me.

I sighed. She still continues to be the same eccentric and strange girl as always.

The game installation window finally pops up on the computer screen, and I click on the next button to assure that I'm going to actually be installing this program. For the next few minutes, I'm continually clicking on the next button, until the screen suddenly flashes a message of large text in front of my face.

I read it carefully, and realize that it's telling me this game is too graphically advanced for Suzumiya-san's desktop computer to play. For a moment, I begin to feel nervous, unsure if I should really say anything to Suzumiya-san about this. But it seems she's already become too impatient in waiting for me to install the game, as she stomps over behind me, lowering herself to my eye level as she begins talking close to my ear.

"What's taking you so long? I want to play this already!"

"It says here that the computer isn't powerful enough to play this game. It needs a better graphics card or something." I say in a nonchalant tone to the obviously impatient Suzumiya-san, who stands up and begins to rub her chin in thought.

"Does the Computer Research Society have access to these cards?" Haruhi asked me, a curious tone in her voice.

"Sure. They probably have one of the newest ones in their computers. The fact is that all they do is play games on those computers most of the time." I replied, not adding the part where I was going to say that they probably surfed one a lot of adult stuff while no one was looking. I think it's amusing how the school is paying money for the computers they use for their "research."

"I think we need to pay them another visit!" Haruhi announced jubilantly, taking me by the hand as she began to drag me towards the clubroom door. I couldn't escape her strong grip, no matter how hard I tried.

It didn't take us long to reach the Computer Research Society's front door, and Suzumiya-san knocked with surprising self-control. We waited for a few seconds, until I heard the sound of someone turning a lock and slowly beginning to open the door.

It was easy to see the form of one of the members of the Computer Research Society open up the door. He was a scrawny, glasses-wearing individual, and it was safe to say that the sight of Suzumiya-san almost frightened him.

The member opened the door to the room fully, revealing that their President had been on his computer not too far behind him. Haruhi took no time in striding right into their clubroom like it was her own, catching the Computer Research Society President's attention almost immediately.

"You again?!? What do you want? You already stole our game. The one we've been working on for weeks…" the President said to Suzumiya-san, the sound of defeat and loss clearly apparent in his tone of voice. He sat nervously in his chair, the look on his face tense and annoyed.

"I'm here because we're in need of one of your graphics cards. My lackey here says we can't play that game without it." Suzumiya-san told the President, her hands at her hips as she was clearly talking down to him.

I held in a groan beside her. Even as her boyfriend, she still couldn't stop referring to me as a lowly Brigade member. Around the Computer Society Research President, his various members cowered in fear at the sight of Suzumiya-san, almost as if she was some gigantic kaiju who was threatening to destroy their beloved city.

"What? You're crazy! I'm not giving up our newest graphics card! I personally spent a fortune on it! There's no way in hell that you're getting you're hands on it!" the President said to Suzumiya-san, showing signs of defiance in his voice.

Beside me, our Brigade Chief had a sly smile on her face, her arms crossed as she glared at the boy in front of her. She walked towards him nonchalantly, making a purposeful wink at him as she got close enough so he would really hear just what she was telling him.

"You know, we haven't gotten rid of those pictures of you violating Mikuru-chan yet. They're still in a safe place, and all it takes is the press of the button to send them straight to whoever I want…"

I could see that the Computer Society President's face beginning to break out in a sweat. He looked like he was struggling to stand up against Suzumiya-san, and clearly failing. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy, even though I wasn't really taking any action to stop all this.

"Fine! You win…again. Just take the stupid card and go. It's inside the computer behind me…" he replied, putting his head down in defeat. Suzumiya-san gave him a smirk of satisfaction, before brushing past him and issuing a command to me as she stood in front of his computer tower.

"Open it up, Kyon!" she said to me, and I could do nothing more but oblige to her commands. The last thing we needed was for Suzumiya-san to become discontent, and cause a whole new slew of problems.

I firmly placed my hands around the casing of the computer tower, trying my best to gently open it. I can't say I was feeling too good participating in this sort of theft, but I really didn't have any choice in the matter.

Opening up the tower and revealing the delicate inner mechanics of the computer, I watched as Suzumiya-san scanned over the various electronic parts that it was composed of. I can imagine she was looking for a literal card, and she didn't understand much of what it actually looked like.

Finally, I watched her face light up in joy.

"There it is!" she said, quickly reaching her hand into the depths of the towers' various circuits and such.

"WAIT!!!!" the Computer Society President shouted in fear, one of his hands feebly outstretched. A mechanical ripping sound could be heard after he had tried to stop Haruhi, and I saw that she was now staring at what looked like a large green computer chip in between her slender fingers. It was certainly showing signs that it had been ripped clean off of whatever it was attached to, as colored pieces of wire were stuck to it and still letting off tiny sparks from their torn ends.

"This little card is what makes the difference if we can play the game or not?" Suzumiya-san said in confusion, scratching the back of her head as she inspected the chip in her fingers. I sighed, not surprised that Haruhi had actually done something so stupid. Behind me, I could hear the President beginning to hyperventilate.

"My computer! You ruined it!" he said to Suzumiya-san, his voice dramatic and a look of utter shock and disbelief on his face. Our Brigade Chief looked dissatisfied at what she was holding, putting the ripped-out card down on one of the nearby desks and walking back to the door. She turned around to face all of the Computer Research Society now, an indifferent look on her face.

"That was a waste of time. We'll get that card eventually, I guess." She said, almost as if nothing had happened. With that, I watched her open the door and walk out, and I assumed she was heading back to the clubroom.

I was in some disbelief, to tell the truth. I couldn't help but stand in place for a few seconds, raising an eyebrow in slight confusion.

For one thing, that certainly showed that Haruhi could be very careless when she wanted to be. I should be glad she doesn't exercise this kind of attitude towards me very often. If she did, I'd probably not want to even be within a twelve-mile radius of her.

"My computer…." The President said behind me, and he was hugging his now broken tower like it was some sort of precious object. I sighed, mostly at the pathetic attempt his members showed in crowding around their leader and comforting him in his time of need.

Walking out of that lair of technology and out into the hallway, I knew that my only destination now would be the clubroom. I walked towards the door, but as I wrapped my hand around the doorknob, I could hear unfamiliar voices inside.

They were not the usual voices that emanated from the room, but something was telling me that I had definitely heard them before. One of them sounded obnoxious and over-dramatic, and the other was quieter and more precise. I cautiously turned the doorknob and opened the door.

And there in front of me stood two people that I would never expect to see in the vicinity of the clubroom in a million years. Two people who had both labeled me as liking weird girls, and who had both specifically accused me of having completely conformed to Suzumiya-san's weirdness. They were right on both counts, but I couldn't help but gawk at the sight of them sitting in the SOS Brigade clubroom.

It was none other than Taniguchi and Kunikida, who had both taken up extra chairs in the middle table, and were enjoying themselves to some of Asahina-san's precious tea. Haruhi was standing behind them, a disapproving look on her face, her arms crossed.

Unfortunately, Taniguchi was the first of the two to notice that I had entered the room, and he flashed a grin at me, waving like I was some thirty feet away instead of right in front of him.

"Kyon! Suzumiya's club doesn't actually seem too bad!" he said to me, his face just oozing with his self-deluded sense of hilarity. I groaned internally.

You have just got to be kidding me. Don't tell me these two are actually considering joining Haruhi's Brigade? What the hell has become of the world these days?

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Hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter. I just couldn't keep you waiting too long. I'm just crazy like that. But I hope the first chapter isn't too boring. My beta thought so. I plan on giving more screen time to other characters this time around. Sorry if they seem neglected. More to come, soon enough. :)