So, basically OutCold and I were talking, and I don't know how we got onto the topic of Tiva and writing a Tiva friendship fic, but she said that if I could write a Tiva friendship, she would write Tiva romance.

I was thinking, and I got this idea for little McGee torture. I love McGee. He's my favorite, after Fornell. So, here you go.

Disclaimer: I don'tttt ownnn. :)

Warning: If you don't like the torture of McGee, leave. :D All smiles now.


Special Agent Timothy McGee walked off the elevator and into the bullpen. The first thing he noticed was that his coworkers were silent. Officer Ziva David was typing at her computer, making an angry face at it every other second. She typed away at the keyboard, her fingers pounding the keys. Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo was sitting at his desk, reading his new copy of GSM. McGee watched as he chucked a paper ball at his partner, and caught it before it made it across the bullpen.

"McGoogle. You are late." Tony said, getting up and looking at McGee. McGee shrugged, and both men jumped when Ziva cursed in Hebrew. They looked at her, backing away to their desks. McGee quickly made his way to his desk.

"Ziva, what's wrong?" McGee asked, safely behind his desk. The assassin huffed.

"It's nothing." She said, typing again at her keyboard. Tony made a motion with his hands as to say she was crazy, and an eraser hit his head.

"I saw that." She said, not looking up from her computer. McGee saw the smirk on her face.

McGee turned on his computer, waiting patiently as it woke up. He was surprised at how quiet the two partners were. But then he saw Tony throw another paper ball at Ziva, and Ziva chuck it back with twice the force. Tony made the same noise he made when Special Agent Gibbs slapped him, and Ziva smirked.

Morning, Special Agent McGee.

McGee smiled at his computer, signing in. As he waited, he watched his boss walk in. Gibbs sat down at his desk, picking up his desk phone as it rang.

"Be right down." He said. He then disappeared, obviously to go to Forensics Specialist Abby's lab.

"Oh." Ziva suddenly said, her voice filled with awe. Both men looked up at her to see her staring blankly at the computer, her mouth forming an o shape. She tilted her head to the side, shutting her mouth. She typed something on her keyboard, and then a smile appeared on her face.

"I get it now." She said, and Tony got up. He walked over to his partner's desk.

"Get what, Zee-vah?" He asked. She glared at him.

"I was trying to type in ask dot com to the computer, but instead I kept getting porn sights." She said plainly, and Tony's eyes lit up.

"Really?" He said, moving back to his desk.

"Don't do it Tony." Ziva warned, but Tony wasn't listening.

"What kind of porn sights?" He asked, and Ziva smirked.

"Kind you wouldn't like." She said.

McGee watched them as they spoke, already knowing there this was going to lead.

"Porn is porn." Tony retorted.

"I didn't know you are a fan of gay porn."

Tony stopped, looking up at Ziva. She smirked at him, looking back to her computer. Tony huffed, grabbing his GSM magazine again. McGee's phone rang, and he answered.

"Special Agent McGee." He said into the phone. When no one responded, he decided to hang up. As he went to pull the phone away, it didn't move. He grunted, trying to gently pull it away. His struggle caught his coworker's attention and they moved over to where he sat. Tony was watching with increasing interest.

"Ha ha, funny guys." McGee said, and the partners looked at each other. McGee didn't see them speak, and he knew they were using their weird non verbal skills. Suddenly, they both burst out laughing, their teeth showing as they smiled at the sight. McGee stared up at them.

"Guys, this isn't funny." He said, holding the phone so it wouldn't pull on his hair. Tony shook his head, pointing to the phone.

"No, Probie." He said in between laughs. "It's hilarious."

Ziva and Tony kept laughing, Ziva holding onto Tony's arm as she doubled over.

"Am I missing something?" Gibbs asked as he walked in, and the partners stopped their laughter. They looked at McGee, holding back their laughter by biting their lips. They didn't look at each other, knowing that if they did they would burst out laughing. Gibbs looked at McGee, and then his two agents. He saw the red in their face as the bit back their laughter. He slapped them on the backs of the heads, and the stifled laughter suddenly died.

"Boss, we didn't do it." They said at the same time and Gibbs quirked an eyebrow.

"Oh really?" He said, moving over to his desk. He grabbed a pair of scissors, and handing them to McGee. The agent looked at his boss, and then nodded.

"We didn't Gibbs." Ziva said, watching as McGee tried to cut his hair off his phone. She moved in front of Tony, pushing him back so she could stand next to McGee. She took the scissors from him. McGee looked up at the assassin, a look of fear on his face. Ziva glared at him.

"Then who did?" Gibbs asked, looking around. Tony and Ziva shrugged, Ziva working on McGee's hair. McGee winced as Ziva got closer to his ear, and she smirked.

"Watch it Ziva." McGee said, and someone snickered. Gibbs looked up, hearing the giggling again. He stood up and walked around the bullpen wall. There, crouching on the floor, were Abby and Jimmy Palmer. Abby was giggling, and Jimmy looked as if he had gotten his hands caught in the cookie jar. Gibbs motioned for them to follow him, and the stood up. McGee stared at them, his mouth falling.

"Abby? Palmer?" He asked in disbelief. The duo laughed, Abby covering her mouth with her hands. Palmer was watching Ziva carefully, afraid of her with any kind of weapon in her hand.

"The autopsy gremlin? You did this?" Tony asked, walking up next to McGee's desk. "Why did you guys do this?"

Abby smiled.

"We just wanted to see what it felt like, playing a prank on McGee. You guys are always doing it, so we decided to come up with one." Abby explained, watching as McGee gently tried to pull the phone off his ear. He didn't have much luck, and eventually gave up. He let the phone hang from his cheek.

"You guys wanted to do what?" Gibbs asked, looking at Palmer. He flinched, moving behind Abby.

"We wanted to see what it was like to be Tony and Ziva." She said. Gibbs laughed, looking over at DiNozzo and David. They were standing like usual, right next to each other and their arms crossed. Tony was holding a pencil in his hand, looking at Abby. Ziva was watching McGee struggle with the phone.

"Well, if you want to be like them, you get this." Gibbs said, and with that, he slapped them each on the back of their heads. Abby gasped, and Palmer gaped.

Tony and Ziva burst out laughing again, moving back to their desks. Ziva sat down, putting her hands on the desk in front of her as she kept laughing. Tony smirked as Abby and Palmer disappeared from the bullpen, and everything died down. Ten minutes later, McGee spoke.

"Um, guys? What am I going to do about the phone attached to the side of my face?"


Not Tiva, in third person, and a little torture. :D Yay for me for going outside my comfort region. I had fun writing this though. I love the pranks on McGee. :DD

Reviews = love. :D Just saying.

Izzy.