It's been a while, huh? I don't really like leaving things unfinished... I think, at least.
So apologies... and here's the last little chapter.
Sweet, sweet Bella was comforting me as usual. I was beginning to doubt that I could ever change for her. It felt like I was going completely on instinct whenever I was with her. Protect the weaker. Don't let anyone else touch what was mine. But Bella wasn't weak, she really wasn't. And she didn't need my protection, not really. What was I protecting her against, anyway? She didn't need me, and that's what hurt the most. She could be completely fine on her own. It scared me. I wanted her to be dependent on me, just like I was depending on her. I couldn't function without her.
And that was what turned me into a... neanderthal.
I sighed heavily. I was too tired to even think about this now.
The visit at my family's house hadn't been as bad as I thought it would be. Of course Rosalie was the one to make the biggest fuzz. I was painfully curious about what she had told Bella when they had stepped out.
"Are you okay?" Bella asked from behind me. I could feel her arms tightening around my waist.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I sighed again, almost feeling a fatigue wash over me. She removed her arms and I could feel her moving on the bed behind me. I turned my head to look at her, lying under the covers watching me with concern.
I smiled lightly, a smile so faux I had to grimace.
"I'm fine." I stood up to go to the bathroom and get ready for bed.
"Edward? I'll grow a backbone if you need it."
I chuckled and left.
When I came back she was sound asleep, curled into a ball. I smiled a real smile this time.
No! She wasn't a possession. She just wasn't. She might be an angel, but I would never own her. She could change her mind any minute, leave me here with nothing, realizing how much better she could do.
I had to stop this thinking, it was what led me to treat her so horribly in the first place.
Start over, start over, start over...
I fell asleep next to her, chanting those words in my mind.
The next few weeks of my life were hell. I didn't quite know what was worse; how Bella had acted before, or how she acted now. I didn't understand what had happened to her. Before this she had been sweet and shy and so eager to please... so selfless. And now, now she was turning into some kind of Rosalie-copy. All that bitchiness. The snarky comments and her complete dismissal of anything she thought ridiculous was slowly wearing me down. There were times when I just wanted to remind her of who was the one that took care of her, who was the one she should... obey. Who she fucking belonged to.
I leaned my head in my hands where I sat at the kitchen island. It was sunday morning, and Bella sat on the counter, flipping through a thick book. I sighed, and she looked at me with raised eyebrows, those brown eyes glinting coldly.
"What are you doing today?" I asked her; just another thing I hated about our new relationshp; it was no longer taken for granted that she would spend all of her free time with me.
She rolled her eyes.
"I'm meeting Jake for brunch."
I swallowed thickly. How was it even possible that she thought I would be okay with her meeting another man for brunch? She smacked her book shut and huffed.
"Don't even start, Edward."
I glared at her. I had gone out of my way to let her do whatever she wanted, even if it was going out with another man... no, boy. Because Jake was just a cocky college-freshman with absolutely no idea of who Bella really was. My Isabella would never even had entertained the idea of meeting him a sunday morning. And I was slowly loosing my patience with Bella.
"Give me one reason to why I should let you have brunch with that dog." My voice was only a cold whisper.
"You have absolutely no right to stop me from doing that." Her voice was equally cold and I swallowed back another wave of jealousy.
"I could always make you... stay here." I was loosing it. The suppressed anger was pumping in my body and made my sight hazy. She swiftly jumped off the counter.
"Fuck you." She spat.
"Watch your mouth, Isabella."
I'd had enough.
She froze, and I couldn't even make myself regret what I said. I had finally snapped. Her wide Bambi-eyes were huge and round. I stood up, just to make sure that she knew that I was perfectly capable of physically restraining her; stopping her from leaving.
I was turning into my old self. The change hadn't been a change, just a temporary way to earn her forgivness. I was ashamed.
"Edward, move." She squared those delicate shoulders as I looked down at her, but I noticed how her eyes darted around nervously. Good.
I very gently placed my hands on her shoulders.
"Edward..." She sounded nervous now. Not quite afraid, but some of the coldness had worn off.
"What are you-."
"You are not having brunch with anybody else than me, lovely." I hated myself in that moment. Pure self-hatred. I prayed she couldn't see it. I had no right to do this, but if it meant that she would stay... no. I couldn't go there... Not now, not ever.
I could see her visibly shrink under my stony gaze. She grew smaller and smaller, paler and weaker in front of me.
I hesitantly brough her closer to me and pressed her to my chest. She didn't struggle, but didn't acknowledge it either. She seemed frozen.
"Edward..." Her voice once again held that vulnerable edge.
And I relished in it.
"It's okay, Isabella. I'll make sure that you won't see him again." I carefully cradled the back of her head in my hand and tilted her face towards mine. It was filled with shock. I tenderly stroked her cheek and smiled. It felt good to be in control again. Better than it should.
She blinked, one, two, three times. She was fragile again, and so beautiful.
"Don't be scared of me. I won't hurt you. But no matter how much you pretend to be strong and in control, I am the one who is. You belong to me, you're mine to care for.
She shook in my arms.
"But... you changed. You're changed." She accused hoarsely.
"There's only so far you can push me, lovely."
I was a monster, a devil, a horrible creature. I realized that when tears formed in her eyes.
"You promised you would never-."
"I haven't hurt you. I never will." I kissed her tears away, hating and loving the salty taste on my lips.
"But I will cherish and love you, protect and care for you. I will sooth you when you're sad and calm you down when you're angry. I will always be there, Isabella, no matter what."
I felt so emotional, with the way she was carefully pressed against me, her frail bones mine to protect. She was weak. Weak and beautiful, and mine.
"You're scaring me... You said you wou-." She sniffled.
"Shh, angel, don't fight it. Don't you realize that you're made of glass? I'll always be wrapped around you to make sure that you don't shatter or are taken away."
"I don't want you to be wrapped around me!"
She was anguished.
"You love me." I told her.
"No, not when you're like this."
"Yes you do, you would forgive me for anything."
"No!" she yelled and her little hands pushed against my chest. "I hate you when you're like this. Let go of me." She continued and twisted in my hold.
I held on tighter; I knew very well that she didn't hate me.
Chavuinistic-, Possessive-, Assward for you all...
Thank you to all readers. I know I'm not the best, attentive writer there is, and that I've been horrbile to answering messages and then there's the fact that I don't like reviews... never been good with critisism...
Anyways, thank you everyone who has read this.
I don't think I will write anything else, actually. But it's been rather nice to do this story.
Massor av kramar! Lots of hugs!
(And please, no reviews... though trust me, I really appreciate if you appreciated this story)