Title: Lost and Found
Chapter Title: Hidden Hope
Summary: If you don't get lost there's a chance you may never be found. Chuck lost Blair sixteen years ago. Sixteen-year-old Danny Waldorf has something to find. Both get lost in the middle of nowhere. There she'll find something she lost and so will he. (Blair/Chuck)
A/N: All right so I owe all of you readers a huge apology. I do hope you're still sticking by me on the story. I have just had so much writer's block and unfortunately, I'm not going to lie; I blame it on Season 3. I knew I would just rip Chuck apart and take this story a whole other way if I wrote too soon. So once again sorry and let me know if you're still reading.
There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up.
Lucas Scott, One Tree Hill
Danny watches as her mother paces back and forth in front of the couch. She seems to be having some kind of mental breakdown. But it's silent. With Blair Waldorf it is always silent. That's mostly why since was born Danny didn't consider her mother one to panic. Over the years she learned that she does, but it's just harder to identify. She bit the bottom of her ruby lip and exhales loudly to gain her mother's attention.
"Mom, are you okay?" Danny asks, voice quiet, but strong. She knows her mother needs her right now. That much is obvious. So she has to be there for her. Her father obviously did something and if she finds out whatever horrible thing it is, she may never forgive him.
Blair stops abruptly and turns to look at her. She is as pale as a ghost. Her doe brown eyes create the exact expression of a deer caught in the headlights. A hand runs through her chestnut curls and she laughs breathlessly.
"I-I think so. Actually, I will be, but there's just something I need to do first. Will you be okay here with Morrow? He is in your room right? I'll only be gone for an hour or so." Her voice moves about a mile a minute. She is nervous and all over the place. Her pitch cracks and she even trembles some.
"Yes, I'll be fine and he is here. Take all the time you need," her daughter responds. She knows not to ask where her mother is going. Now is not the time to question. It is better to wait for a late night chat or final breakdown, the one where tears are involved.
"Great," Blair confirms with a nod. She then kisses her awkwardly on the forehead and grabs her keys off the counter. She goes out the door, eyes everywhere. Part of her just expects him to pop out, but she hopes he won't. He told Danny he is marrying his fiancée. She tries to tell herself that's fine, but maybe it isn't. Maybe it shouldn't be. She shakes her head and tries not to think about Chuck anymore.
"Your daughter called down, Ms. Waldorf. The car is ready," the man at the door tells her. He then opens the door for her so that she can continue on outside.
Sure enough, there is her car. It is a brand new IS Lexus Convertible, fire engine red. She gets in without hesitation and takes off a bit faster than she should. Once comfortable with the speed, she turns up the radio as loud as she can to block out her thoughts.
Blair knows she can't go to Serena or her mother, but there is one person who will know what to say. She is certain he can help her pull through. He will give her the advice that no one else is willing to.
The speed limit raises and she pushes down on the pedal. Her car flies pass the Brooklyn City Limit Sign. It's only a blur she doesn't need to be aware of. Surprisingly enough, she knows her way there. The townhouses all look the same, but there's one distinct thing she can catch if she slows does. So she does so.
"And there it is," Blair mumbles to herself. She pulls up in front of it and knows it's the perfect time of day. She'll just have to be gone before the other person returns home from work and needs their rightful parking space.
The car shuts off. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
"You can do this. He is the only one in your past here that proved himself shockingly trustworthy. Just go in and tell him what happened. He's never made you feel ashamed of yourself, not like—"
Her eyes snap open and she shakes her head. Why is it so hard to remove Chuck Bass from her mind? It should be easy. There should be a natural right that erases all thought of someone who's hurt you over a hundred times. But there isn't and she'll have to learn to live with that.
Blair climbs out of her car and goes up the few steps. Her hand rises to knock, but pauses. She bites her bottom lip and thinks it over once more in her mind.
Finally, after what feels like hours of hesitation, she knocks. She counts in her head how long it takes for the person on the other side to come and answer the door. One, two, three, four, five, six… The door opens.
Danny sits next to Morrow in complete silence. He is reading and she is sketching. One thing she likes about him is that she never has to hide her drawings when around him. He knows not to try and sneak a peak. Then again, she remembers when they were little and he tried to do so she hit him over the head. So maybe it was just that she taught him well.
He can't take it anymore. His hand taps his best friend's shoulder. Her eyes flicker up to his and he raises his hands to sign.
'We need to talk about what happened with your dad, Danny. You can't keep this stuff in. You know what the doctor said.' His motions are urgent and his expression displays nothing, but true concern.
That is the only reason she answers him. It's the only reason she ever answers him. She knows he will read her lips and therefore can continue to sketch while she talks.
"Fine. The thing is that I knew when I found my dad, or rather he found me—he would have a life. It's just—I feel like I've been lied to. In fact, I feel like he's still lying to me even though we haven't communicated since our fight," Danny explains. She is honest with him, even though it makes her chest hurt to do so. Perhaps the whole favoring the untruth is a trait she inherited from daddy dearest.
He stays silent for a few moments and then taps her sketchbook. Her eyes avert up to his gaze again.
Morrow motions, 'Maybe he was scared to tell you because he knew something like this would happen. No offense, Danny you know I love you, but you're hard to approach.'
She rolls her eyes and then sighs. "So saying something like just because you came along would help? He made me feel like nothing more than a bother. My mom never makes me feel like that and I'm the one who has been constantly holding her back in life." Her eyes close for a few seconds and a pained expression appears on her face. She tries to hide it, but she can't. Eyes open.
"Imagine if he knew how screwed up I really am, Morrow. Then he wouldn't even want to have time for the real me," Danny breathes. Her voice is mute and she is thankful he only reads her lips. The last thing she wants to do is repeat such a weak sentence again.
Morrow's blue eyes sadden. He then shakes his head though and refuses defeat. He puts a hand on her shoulder comfortingly before proposing what he knows will most likely scare her more than anything else he could suggest.
'One, you aren't screwed up. And second—Danny, you have to show him the real you. Only then can you tell if he'll either want to stay in your life or walk away. But you can't assume his actions. You don't know him well enough. It isn't fair.' Morrow does not look away as his hands drop. He keeps a stern, but sympathetic gaze with Danny. There is nothing higher on his list of priorities than to get through to her.
Danny turns away from him. She barely raises her hand to answer in a quick signing. 'I'll think about it. That's all I can do right now. I'm sorry.'
She tells herself that she isn't lying to Morrow. This is because she is certain that she will have to think over his words whether she truly wants to or not. Even if she didn't then they would invade her dreams without permission. It's best to try and do it when she can on her own time. Hopefully, that time won't be next year.
Morrow smiles ever so slightly. He then scoots closer to her and rests his chin on her shoulder. She returns a light simper and brings her knees up. The sketchbook is closed, but her hand rests on it to signify that she plans to reveal it to him.
"Wh-what did you draw?" Morrow inquires. His voice doesn't sound right and he knows that. So he raises the pitch just above that of a whisper. It also helps that he knows she'll never make fun of him.
Danny's hand slowly turns back the page. She reveals the sketch. It's of her mother. Blair Waldorf is smiling gracefully, brilliantly. But then there is a mirror image of her crying. Blair Waldorf is represented in a tragically, beautiful form.
His eyes fall down the paper. He reads over the words written.
She faces the world with a smile and only cries on the inside.
Morrow looks to her and Danny blushes some. Then he pulls her into his embrace. She hugs back, never wanting to let go. He always makes her feel safe.
Tyler Humphrey walks out of his room and stops at the end of the hallway. His mother is still at work, but he hears his father speaking with someone in the main room. He decides it is best to just go in and see who it is for himself. The voice sounds familiar, but he can't exactly figure where he's heard it before.
The two adults in the room do not notice right away when he steps in. His father, Dan Humphrey, is sitting down on the couch next to Danny's mother, Blair Waldorf. He walks around in front of them and spares a small smile.
"Dad, you know Danny's mom?" Tyler asks. There is confusion in his voice, but as always he keeps it pleasant. His eyes stay with his father's, but he can feel Blair looking him over.
"Blair and I are old friends, son," Dan replies with a nod. He doesn't elaborate, but speaks in a rather casual tone. There is an underlying sense of emotion though he knows his son could never understand, not that he plans on trying to explain it to him.
The younger man nods and then turns to the woman next to his father. "Ms. Waldorf, if you don't mind my asking, how is Danny doing?" he inquires. His tone is extremely polite. It shows that he was raised right, but that's a given considering his father was always such a do-gooder back in the day.
"She's…fine, Tyler. I must apologize for how bitter I was when you first met me. Feel free to visit my daughter any time you want to," Blair offers. She genuinely felt bad for how she came off the first time Dan's son saw her. It was just that—No, she agreed not to think about him and she wasn't going to.
Tyler shrugs, "It's cool. Dad, I'm going to Uncle Nate's house now. I'll see you later." He waves at both of them and then goes out the front door.
Once he is gone, Blair turns back to Dan. A dark shadow crosses her chestnut colored eyes. He knows most of it, but not all that happened recently. She doesn't want to relive it in words, but it's why she came there. If she explains it to him then he can help her, but first she has to voice it.
"Well, we were getting closer I guess. But then—He got me in his bed. I'm not sure how it happened, Dan. It did though and then I wakeup and everything goes to hell. He's all that he wants to make this work, but then someone calls and leaves a message saying—" She has to stop to swallow a lump in her throat. The tears brim in the rims of her eyes. They sting and she refuses to let them fall.
"You found out about his fiancée," Dan finishes. It isn't a guess. Everyone who has been living in the city knows about it. Serena told him when they spoke on the phone. Blair of course hadn't been there long enough, nor would she have guessed it in a million years.
Blair nods and her eyes fall in shame. "I feel…used and betrayed. I also realize I must be pretty damn dumb to let this happen. What was I thinking? If Danny knew I did something like this, whether another woman was involved or not, she wouldn't be proud of me. I just made the worst mistake I could have in this situation," she whispers, voice cracking towards the end of the sentence.
He shakes his head in anger and stands up. Her eyes notice that his fists ball, but it strangely puts her at ease. It's showing that he has compassion, that he cares for someone who he doesn't have to. And he isn't gaining anything from it either.
"Do you want me to punch him again? My arm has been aching to swing another since it first connected with his jaw back in high school," Dan offers. He is both trying to make her smile, despite his anger, but is also being completely truthful.
Blair does laugh, but it sounds sad and pathetic. She shakes her head and runs her fingers through her curls. Then even the solemn simper disappears and her eyes look to his in total melancholy.
"It's not that I blame him for moving on. I knew it was a risk when I left, but he let me sleep with him when he knew he wanted to marry this woman, Dan!" Blair's voice rises to almost a yell. She stands up and wipes away her tears before they fall.
"Okay, so I admit that yes, it hurts that at one time I thought I could be the only one who got Chuck Bass to love them. I'll admit I don't feel so special anymore. Hell, after what happened this morning, what he did to me… I don't feel like I'm worth anything," she expresses. She drops back down on the couch and shoulders slump in defeat.
Dan immediately grabs her and forces her eyes to meet his. He shakes his head sternly. "You are wrong, Blair. You are special and worth so much, way more than him. Without you, there wouldn't be a Danielle Waldorf. I mean if you did what Chuck wanted you to back then, she would have been aborted. You don't need a Chuck Bass in your life. You never have. One thing you do need though is to decide if your daughter does." He knows the words will be hard for her to take in, but says them without hesitation.
A single tear slips down her cheek. After that, she pushes the rest back and nods. Her hands fly around his neck and she hugs him tightly. Her attempts to stay strong don't work. She breaks and everything she was holding back, tears included, falls.
"It's okay," Dan soothes. His hand rubs her back. He is there like a friend should be, like he was all those years before. It's something no one expected and not many know of, but their friendship is written in time.
They stay like that until she is ready. Blair pulls back and wipes at her eyes. They both stand up. She swoops a hand under her eyes to try and clean the mess her eye makeup most likely made.
"I know what I need to do."
Chuck knocks lightly on the door. He can't believe that Blair actually sent a text that asked him to come over. It's extremely late and well, he's pretty sure she detests him with every fiber of her being after what happened that morning. When she doesn't immediately answers he starts to believe that it's payback, some cruel joke to try and make him feel exactly how she did when she heard that message Vivian left.
But then the door opens. Blair stands there. She seems much more collected than before. It's strange, eerie almost. He doesn't feel comfort about her eyes either. It isn't an emotion he recognizes. That makes him worry even more than a livid stare from her would. He parts his lips to say something, anything, but nothing vocalizes.
"Danny is asleep and I don't want to wake her. We can speak quietly in the hallway," Blair instructs him. She then steps out before he can even object. Her footsteps don't stop until they are in front of the elevator. She senses there may be an unfortunate feeling of remembrance, but does her best to brush it off.
Chuck still can't bring himself to say anything. Her eyes fall from his and she releases a deep breath. He knows in that moment she has planned exactly what to say to him and her mind is set. He can only hope it won't end with her ordering him out of Danny's life, out of her life.
"Years ago this would have killed me," Blair tells him, just above a whisper.
He stares at her back, slowly taking a step forward. She does not stiffen as he expects, but just remains still. When he gets close enough he sees her eyes from the side, but they do not notice him. Instead they focus out in front of her, lost in the floor pattern. He knows that's not what they really see though.
"Blair..." He says her name, but then it dies on his lips. What is he to say? There is nothing he can say here and he hates that. Slowly she turns to look at him. Her eyes are glossy, tears threatening to fall, but still she faces him strongly.
"Now there are so many things that hold more importance than this. There is something in my life that keeps me from falling apart right now. Ironically you gave her to me." A bitter laugh escapes her lips.
"I really hope last night and this morning wasn't an attempt to sock it to me after keeping her from you—"
"You can't possibly suggest I'd be that cruel?" he snaps, anger rising in his own voice. Their eyes connect and she looks at him no differently. What he said seems to hold no weight like he knows it would have years back.
She does not yell, like he secretly wants her to.
"No, that was me suggesting you're human. At least then your reasoning would be justified," Blair nods, but then smiles sarcastically.
"Unless of course you love her. Do you love her Chuck?"
That word coming from her lips in such a mocking way makes him wonder how she felt when he did it to her before, years ago. It's the first time she is connecting it with him that he wants to cover his ears and scream to block it out.
"Don't do that to yourself," he orders. Both of them know her words break her heart more than his. While they scare him, they destroy her bit by bit. They demolish any good memory of them and it's his entire fault. But instead of patching the cuts she slices deeper, wanting scars.
"I'm not doing anything to myself," Blair responds with a shake of her head. "And thanks to you, this is the last time something like this will be able to hurt me."
"What does that mean?" he pleads.
"The only thing that's absolute and true is love, Chuck. But unfortunately it's also so easy for one like you to fake and deceive someone like me with. You never loved me..." Blair denies. She can barely look at him, but doesn't dare break their gaze because it's needed.
"Take that back," he retorts, eyes seeing red. His feet move forward and he grabs onto her arm, pulling her towards him with force.
"Now!" His teeth clench. Blair stares down at it for a moment and then looks back up at him. She isn't there though. When he looks into her eyes, he gasps because the Blair that belongs to him is not even hidden in them anymore.
"I can't and for that I'm sorry. I have loved two people in my life, one I have and one I'll never see again." Her voice breaks and Chuck frowns in confusion.
"The first is my daughter. I love her in a way that no one else can compare to and nor will I ever want them to," she clarifies.
"Danny's still here. Who's the other?" he asks, sounding scared. Blair's eyes drop to his hold on her arm and slowly she removes it. She leans towards him and Chuck breathes her in. He feels her breath against his neck, her body brushing against his own.
"The boy who gave her to me," Blair whispers and then moves past him. Chuck turns around immediately and grabs onto her arm again. Their eyes connect briefly.
"I'm here," he speaks loud and clear.
Blair looks on him sadly and shakes her head.
"You are, but the man you became is not the one I want. And neither is the woman I formed into what the boy would want either." A single tear slides down her cheek.
Chuck lets go of her arm, his own eyes brimming with tears.
Blair's voice breaks. "They got their happy ending, but not us."
"That doesn't make any sense. They ended in tragedy. We're the ones who still have a chance," Chuck interjects, speaking with desperation.
Blair's smile is now the most heartbreaking image he knows will ever be with him.
"They'll be together forever in the form of their daughter. They may have died the day the girl left, but their hearts and souls rest forever in their child's heart. Someone more worthy of their love than the people we have become," she breathes.
"Blair—" Why can't for once he know the right thing to say? Chuck wants to scream and shake her, but he can't. It's like he's frozen and mute.
So Blair carries on without his input. She wipes at her eyes and nods. "It's good you found someone then. I only ask that when you see Danny and try to be a good father to her—You can't force this woman on her." She looks away from him and crosses her arms. It's the closure she tells herself she needs with the message that he needs to be delivered to him.
He nods eagerly, trying to grasp hold of the situation again. "I know that. I—Blair, I can be the father you want me to be for her. I'll be there for her, for you—"
"Good then. That's all I ask," Blair interrupts. She closes herself off. They both know what she's doing. Her hand hits the elevator button and she finalizes their conversation with a nod.
"Blair wait," Chuck begs.
She turns back towards him and shakes her head. "I can't. I don't have the time at this point in my life. And before it's too late I hope you realize that Danny doesn't either." With that, Blair goes into her apartment and shuts the door.
He steps into the elevator. The doors close. He should be happy she just gave him her blessing to get to know his daughter. Blair was basically saying she's going to even help him some. But he isn't happy. Instead, Chuck feels like the moment he gained that, he lost something else, hope for a dream hidden, but never forgotten.
A/N: Well, this was ten pages. I hope it was to your satisfaction. Let me know. Is the story still any good?