Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, or the characters. Which just sucks really.

Summary: Everyone has a demon that makes you sin. Can Alice escape the violence to find her white rabbit? Will Jasper see through the pain for his true salvation? AH/AU Not intended for the weak hearted. Rated M for Sex, Drugs and Violence

A/N: This is a dark story. Drugs use, sex, swearing, violence, the works. Not for the faint of heart or the easily shocked. I know we have a lot of carry over fans from One More Shot. Let me make this very clear. THIS IS NOT LIKE ONE MORE SHOT.

And do not make us go all mama bear on you. If you are not old enough to see an R-rated film you should not be reading this story.

Keep in mind that you have been warned.

Thanks to Emmy, our aussie girl and an awesome friend, for betaing this for us. We love you hard girl.


Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop.

-The King, Alice in Wonderland


I sat at the table in the cafeteria; drawing the Cheshire cat aimlessly in the notebook I was given. I'm surprised I was finally given one, and a pencil as well. I guess they decided I wasn't going to kill myself with a piece of paper and some lead. I heard the rustle of clothing as my adoptive father sat next to me. "You have a visitor," he whispered to me. I almost rolled my eyes at him, but he deserved better than that, respect wise.

"So I've noticed," my voice sounded bored. I didn't mean it to, it just came out that way. He put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

"You might or might not like this," he began, and instantly I knew. I dropped my pencil. Alice. Fuck. "Be nice son, she's had a rough time of it too," I nodded curtly, pissed that they would bring her here. I held my breath as we stood and turned, his hand still firmly planted on my shoulder.

When I looked up and saw her it felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. It seemed as though she too were being held in place, but by Esme, my adoptive mother, instead of Carlisle. I loved her and she hated me, this I knew. So why the fuck was she here?

She looked different as she stood there, still as a frightened deer. She had lost weight, not as much as I had, but still… Her hair was short and crazy looking. Her eyes; they held the most difference. They used to be bright blue and now they were dull and almost grey.

I felt a squeeze on my shoulder and instantly I broke from her gaze, looking at her, but no longer in her eyes. That was one thing I couldn't do. I was a prisoner of her eyes, doing whatever she wanted when we locked eyes like that.

"Hey," I finally said, trying to be polite. She merely nodded, I grew angry at that. She didn't want to be here. I knew she hated me, why did they bring her?

"What did you do to your hair?" I asked, looking at the crazy mess on top of her head, she looked hot, of course. Like she had just rolled out of bed. Someone else's bed. My stomach turned as I watched her run a bandaged hand through the black locks. What the fuck happened there?

"Got a cut, you like?" Of course I did. I ignored the question. It was all pointless air filler anyway. Anything to get Carlisle and Esme off my back.

"What happened to your hand?" That, I was actually curious about. She was usually pretty graceful so I knew she hadn't caused that.

"I uh," she started looking at her injured hand. "I had a run it with my past".

I shoved my hands in my pockets to keep from reaching out and holding her. I don't know if I could take it when she would flinch away.

"Oh, sorry" I said quietly, watching as Carlisle and Esme walked away and left us standing there.

"Yeah, well Em was there, so whatever".

Of course, Em the protector. Whatever Jay, this ain't even about you, you know that, you need to get the fuck over yourself and find out why they brought her here.

"You're skinnier," I stated, just letting my general opinion be known. She knows I like her with a bit more to her. This was just another way of letting me know she didn't care what I thought anymore.

"You're one to talk," she retorted her voice full of venom. What-the-fuck-ever, I don't need this crap. I rolled my eyes at her and turned to walk away, if she still wanted to fucking talk she'll follow me, I needed a fucking smoke.

"What, you're going to walk away after your mom and dad brought me here so we could talk?" she spat at my back. I glared at her from over my shoulder. She fucking knew I would need a smoke. What the hell?

"Then walk with me," I spat. Fuck! Do I need to spell everything out? She started to follow and I turned, walking toward the door and hitting it with such force that it bounced against the outside wall, and I continued to walk towards the courtyard, wishing I had a jacket. January in Washington is cold as fuck.

"Well you have to remember I have shorter legs then you, and besides I kind of have a bum knee at moment," she spoke in a tart voice getting closer to me. Her voice a bit winded.

Well, fuck if she doesn't want to follow than why did she? I spun to face her, she backed up instantly.

She looked scared.

Good, 'bout time. She needed to be fucking scared of me. It took her long enough.

"Fine!" I roared at her, stopping myself from getting my nicotine fix just so I could get rid of my ghost. "What. Do. You. Want?" I annunciated, ridding myself of my damn accent so I knew she understood me.

I watched as she stumbled, trying to back up away from me and on instinct I reached out to catch her. She caught herself and I pulled my arms back to my side.

"I uh... I..." She stuttered, trying to find the right words. "Oh Jesus, what happened Jasper? And I want the truth!" she finally yelled at me.

She wanted the truth? Truth was I fell in love with her and I never should have. I let her in when I shouldn't have, and she played me for a fool. Yet, if I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing.

A/N: feed our addiction and review!