Warning: If you're a homophobe or simply don't want to read boyxboy stuff, run for your life, NOW! (Why would you be here in the first place?)

Final bit, just had a little more fun with my favorite swordsman by putting him through embarrassing situations. ^_^

2nd Warning: Crack! OOC! Fangirls!

Epilogue for Boredom,

The great memory

Things were going great for the Strawhat crew. They had a talented navigator and a new ship, a beautiful caravel completely garnished with a cook and a liar and were finally headed for the adventurous sea where only the best could survive, the terrific Grand Line. The days when just a starved rubber captain and a constantly sleepy swordsman were drifting in a small boat seemed to have been completely forgotten. Except, in Zoro's mind, there would always be that day, that memory which could never be erased... His first time. Hey, wait! I wasn't reminiscing on THAT!!! What the fuck? There is no "first time" when you're a guy, seriously! Well, okay, maybe it's a bit more special than the rest of them, but that's all there is to it!


Several days after their first romantic episode, the kisses shared by a certain straw hat wearing captain and his first mate had gotten more and more intense. Gone was the timidity of one exposing his own body to hungry lips, as was the slight hesitation before peeling the other's clothes. All fears of being rejected had been blown away in the short amount of time they'd spent entangled as one, floating on cloud nine. The idea of sharing more than just kisses was beginning to take shape in both men's minds, as they were irremediably drawn to one another.

The fateful day had begun normally, as normal as two (literally) hungry guys devouring each other's mouths on a small boat in the middle of the ocean could be. Soon melted in an embrace, the two almost naked bodies had started screaming for more attention, especially in the lower, more neglected regions. Perhaps they were both emotionally ready to take their relationship one step further, Zoro thought. Or, as Luffy delicately chose to put it into words, "If we don't have sex now, I can't promise not to sleep-rape you tonight." Fair enough, Zoro was thankful for his captain's thoughtful warning, I wouldn't put it past him to accomplish anything while sleeping. Obviously, his self-control exceeded Luffy's, but he wasn't too far from the boy's statement either. Nothing seemed to be in the way of the two young pirates' passion anymore. But that was where things proved to be a tad more complicated than they seemed, for a slight difference in opinions would soon arise.

"Wh-- why should I bottom?!?", the swordsman stammered, red with embarrassment. "I ...don't think ...I want it that way ...", he panicked. "And besides, you're actually made of rubber. It's obvious you're the one who should ...um ...well ...you know ...I mean, it wouldn't hurt you and stuff ...", he barely managed, voice trembling slightly. Fuck, it's too awkward, talking about this...

"But I want to make a great memory for your first time, so you have to be like that, Zoro...", Luffy explained, oblivious to his first mate's heavy sweating.

"How does that even work, logically?", the swordsman retorted, vein popping on his temple. "This is seriously going to hurt, I don't want that sort of painful memory!!", he continued, only to suddenly realize, "I mean ...It's not like I'm SCARED or anything. I'm just ...not very fond of the idea ..."

"Relax, I'm really good at this, you're gonna feel great!", Luffy reassured him, grinning happily.

"Exactly how many guys have you done it with before?", Zoro snapped, left eye twitching madly, "That day when you first asked me, you seemed to have no idea how two guys could even have sex."

"Oh, that day... Back then I just got confused 'cause you said it should be with a vagina ...so I just thought it's not called sex when it's two guys... ", the boy remembered.

"Oh, that makes sense, for an idiot... Wait, you still didn't answer how many...", the first mate reminded him. "Not that it's important or anything...", he hesitated.

"Oh, that... well... none yet. I'm still a virgin.", Luffy's grin widened.

"WHAT ???", Zoro couldn't contain his surprise, "But you were acting like ...and just now you said ...What the fuck was all that?"

"But I know all about it!", the boy insisted. "There was this bartender lady back in my village, Makino-san. She had a ton of manga magazines hidden behind the counter, but she would never lend me anything. She was even drawing her own stories sometimes, but would only show me little bits and say it's not for kids. So one day I borrowed one, when she wasn't looking, and read it.", Luffy started explaining, ignoring Zoro's gawking.

"So the story was about these two guys who were friends and used to hang out together, and then a lot of things happen, and one of them gets kidnapped, and his friend saves him from the bad guys, and then they end up doing all this stuff in all sorts of positions. It was pretty cool, though I didn't really understand most of it. The bottom guy seemed to feel especially good...", the boy continued, while a certain green-haired swordsman seemed to have difficulty breathing.

"Then when I grew older Makino-san finally let me read all of them, she even drew some with me and Shanks, though I don't really think she understood how our relationship worked. I remember she kept asking me if I tried those stuff myself. They seemed fun so I told her I definitely will one day. Her reaction was pretty weird, I mean her eyes were gleaming and she was kinda squeaking, but she seemed happy.", the rubber boy finished his story, leaving Zoro's mouth agape.

"That ... lady in your village... she was like that...", the first mate eventually managed to say.

"Like what?", Luffy wondered.

"Your Makino-san is a yaoi fangirl! I've only heard rumors about these perverts, but never actually met one myself. They say her kind are the worse! They appear to be innocent women, but their minds are extremely rotten...", Zoro explained darkly.

"Hmm ...really? She was a really nice lady, you know.", the boy assured his first mate. "This reminds me, you know Rika-chan's mom, the bartender lady? She said we looked really cute together.", Luffy remembered. (a.n. Rika - the little girl that made onigiri for Zoro in captain Morgan's town)

"Oh fuck, even that one was a pervert???", the swordsman couldn't believe his ears.

"She gave me this as a present, just before we left. Told me to do my best.", the boy continued, ignoring Zoro's comment and taking a small bottle out of his pocket. "So if I use this, it's not gonna hurt you. I told you I'm good at this!", Luffy proudly announced, seemingly not noticing the massive quantity of foam coming out of the swordsman's mouth.

A couple of hours and some absolutely amazing orgasms later, Zoro would eventually agree that allowing Luffy to have his way with him had indeed been a great idea. As for the memories, damn ...the boy could really stretch any part of his body.


Zoro was brought back to the real world with a hard slap. On his ass. He'd been standing there for a good half an hour, leaning against Merry's railing and staring at the sunset.

"This light makes you look hot!", Luffy happily complimented him.

"I'm gonna kill you one day, mark my words!", the swordsman threatened sinisterly.

"I know, I know... So, you wanna have sex?", the boy asked, completely unfazed. Zoro had learned by now that his rubber captain never paid attention to other people's reactions. This time, though, he was quite drawn to the proposal.

"Sure, why not? Do you feel like being on top today?", the first mate provoked, grinning.

"Whoaaa...Zoro... It's been a while since you wanted that! Man, this makes me excited...", the captain leaped in the other's arms, trapping him with his rubber limbs and attacking his neck.

"Hah, I've just remembered something that got me in the mood...", the swordsman laughed at the boy's eagerness.

/* end of epilogue */

A/N: So I guess this is it. I hope it answers your questions about who's more skilled. ^_^ (The Wandering Swordsman wanted to know this). Zoro's not an uke though, I'm not into the seme/uke thing. Why miss out all the pleasures the other role has to offer? Switching, FTW! xD

Oh, and in case you were wondering (consistency-wise) how could Zoro think it's impossible for two guys to be having sex (in chapter 1), but still know about yaoi fangirls...Well, he actually knew about the sex thing, it's just that he was going through a stage of complete denial (similar to the mermaid thing ^_^ loved that one). Sounds more like deus ex machina, I know, but meh... xD At least I had fun, right?

Thanks a lot for the reviews, they made me so happy! I love you, minna! *hugs*