AN: Hi. I wrote these for a couple of reasons. The first being boredom, and the second being I'm going through some writer's block with my main story and I was hoping writing something short might get me back into the writing habit. I'll see if it works. And also, there hasn't been much JD/Elliot about here recently.
Anyway, I hope you like these. :)
Can't read my, can't read my,
No, he can't read my poker face
(Poker Face, Lady Gaga)
She maintains a strong façade around the hospital. When she sees him walking along the corridor, she'll give him the nastiest glare she can muster. She knows it hurts him. She can see it in the way he frowns, the way he looks down at the ground, shame filling his eyes. He deserves it, she tells herself. He deserves it, she tries to convince herself.
But the truth is, it's killing her. She doesn't want to hate him. She doesn't want to glare at him when she sees him, she just wants to walk over to him and talk like they used to do. She wants to go over and tell her best friend how much she's hurting, but she can't. Because he's the one that hurt her.
It's been a few weeks now, and everyone thinks she's doing okay. And she is. For the most part. But when she goes home, when she's alone in the silence of her apartment, that's when her true feelings come out. She sits on her sofa, sometimes with a glass of wine that's almost become like a comfort blanket, and the tears stream down her face she think of what he did.
I don't love you.
It's looking like a beautiful day
So throw those curtains wide
One day like this a year'd see me right
(One Day Like This, Elbow)
It's one of those rare days that they both have off. It's ninety-eight degrees out, and he's invited her to his half-acre for a barbecue.
For the whole time before she arrived, he's been nervous. He's been nervous because they've managed to get their friendship back on track after the … incident. At least when Turk and Carla are around or they're in the hospital. But this was the first time since the incident that they'd be alone without some sort of emergency exit.
The food is cooked and they eat in silence. But it's not an uncomfortable silence. It's the silence that happens when all you want to do is just soak up the sun.
"I've missed this," she says quietly. "I've missed hanging out with you. I've missed… you."
"I've missed you too."
The moment passes, and they retreat into their sun-admiring silence.
Somehow I'm leading someone else's life…
My hands shake
My knees quake
(Someone Else's Life, Joshua Radin)
She sees his son before any of the rest of his friends. She's the first one he invites into the nursery.
"Elliot, I want you to meet Sam Perry Gilligan Dorian." JD's voice is strained, and his eyes tired as he looks down at the tiny baby in his arms. He's been up for more than twenty-four hours. He has just had a baby, after all.
Elliot grins as he hands the baby over to her. "Hey, Sam," she coos. The tiny baby stretches him arm up towards her. "God, he's cute," she whispers. "How are you doing?"
"I'm tired," he replies. "Tired, and terrified out of my mind that I've already screwed up his life. What if I screw up his life because I'm not there?"
"JD, he's barely three hours old and you haven't left his side for more than five minutes. Even if you don't live with him, you're going to be there for him in every other way possible and that's what's important." She pauses for a moment, as she watches a big yawn escape little Sammy. "You're going to be a brilliant dad, JD."
"You think so?"
"I know so."
Back to the street where we began
Feeling as good as love
You could, you can
(Nine In The Afternoon, Panic At The Disco)
He can't decide exactly what it is he loves most about her. Maybe it's her penchant for the word 'Frick', maybe it's the way she blows the bangs out of her face, her lightning-speed talking, the way her eyes go wider then he'd previously though possible whenever she's shocked or surprised. One of those things others find irritating but he finds adorable.
Sometimes he thinks he should tell her how he feels. He gets so close sometimes that the words are on the tip of his tongue. But then he chickens out. It's so easy because they've been down this road so many times before that he knows all too well what might happen. But at the same time he knows he can't go on like this.
Down the corridor from the nurses' station, he can see her walking towards him, her blonde hair covering her face as she glances down at the chart in her hands. She looks up at him and smiles. "Hey."
"Hey. Are you free for dinner tonight? There's something I need to talk to you about."
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
(Bless The Broken Road, Rascall Flatts)
If you'd told her ten years ago that she'd be standing here in this church in her clean white dress, thirty seconds away from walking down the aisle, she'd have laughed at you. It was hardly surprising, given their history.
Now it's their wedding day, she can't help but look back at their story. But instead of being paralysed by fear or anger or insecurity, as one would expect, she feels none of that. She can't name what she feels, but it's not that. In a strange way, she's almost grateful that all their break ups, the sex buddies, all the things that almost destroyed absolutely everything and anything they shared, happened. Because it forced them to grow up. All those things made them learn and it got them to where they are now.
In a church, about to get married.
When Carla asks her if she's ready, she nods and breathes a light sigh of excitement.
The music starts up and her mind goes to a saying she once her someone say.
God bless the broken road.
Hold me close
You're just too far
(Tiny Dancer, Ironik)
You have one new message.
Hey, it's me. I guess you're out. I hope the conference is going well for you. Hopefully those med-students aren't giving you too much hassle. God, do you remember what it was like being a med student? Such a long time ago.
Sammy misses you. He keeps asking where Mommy-Elliot is. I keep telling him that you'll be back soon. He's drawn you half a dozen pictures for you to put on the refrigerator when you get back. Not that I'm biased or anything, but I'm telling you, for a three year old his artwork's not half bad!
I miss you too. Truth is it's not the same without you around, laughing and yelling at me for forgetting to scrub the shower after each use. I'll remember one of these days, I promise.
I'll try calling back in a few hours. Love you.
Let's take a better look
Beyond a storybook
(Turn To Stone, Ingrid Michaelson)
She walks out of Sacred Heart Hospital for the last time. She's said her goodbyes. Except they're not really 'goodbyes', because she knows she'll see them all again. They're still going to stop by from time to time.
This has happened before. Five years ago, when JD moved to St Vincent's to be nearer to Sammy. But she isn't just moving hospital; she's leaving medicine altogether.
Sacred Heart is always going to be special to them, because it's where their story began; it's because of this place that they are who they are. Because if he'd gone to Johns Hopkins like he'd planned or if she'd gone to her dad's hospital like he wanted, their paths would never have crossed, and they wouldn't be where they are today.
Sacred Heart will always stay with them, and in a weird way part of them will always stay with Sacred Heart.
When she walks down the steps, he's waiting for her at the car. As he hands twelve-week-old Cassie over to her, he notices the few tears running down her face. He doesn't say anything as she cuddles the baby, ignoring those stray tears, but be puts an arm around her shoulders and gently kisses her head. A minute later, helwhispers "Ready to go?"
She nods, before moving to put the baby in her car seat.