A/N: I know, I know, it's been for ever. Sorry! :/
Also please check out my new story What Happens At A Wedding, Stays At The Wedding and to any Mission Impossible readers, I updated that as well.
I don't own Twilight!
"So this is where you live?" His annoying yet sexy voice spoke up.
"Shut the fuck up Edward, I don't have to say anything to you." Great and here I was finally starting to have fun.
"I believe you just did baby," he shot back. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes; do not let him get to you.
Alice shot him a look from the front seat and hopped out. She ran over to me straight away and threw her arms around me. "Don't worry about him B, we'll get him back." Then she leaned in through the open window, gave Jasper a kiss on the cheek and told him to go home.
I put my arms around both Rosalie and Alice and led them into the house. It had been a long, long day.
"Dude I already crashed his car, what could possibly be worse than that?" I asked getting frustrated now.
"I don't know but you better think of something fast. You do want revenge don't you?" Alice asked suddenly worried as if I might be backing out.
"Hell yes! That bitch is going down," I just didn't know how yet.
"Don't worry Bella, we'll think of something," I swear Rosalie could read my mind sometimes.
"I hope so, all I know is it has to be big." I smirked.
"The bigger the better," Alice commented winking.
"You know what else is big?" Rose asked coyly.
"Hah! You so better not be talking about Emmett's Di-"
"Bella!" Rosalie interrupted me. "You dirty little girl." She grinned and I burst out laughing. Well it was true, half the time my mind was in the gutter, okay maybe a little more than half.
"Okay guys enough with the joking around. We have some serious planning to do." Alice clapped her hands together, suddenly acting all business like. That girl could be really pushy and bossy when she wanted to be. Not to mention a serious party killer, but we loved her anyway.
"We could T.P his car?" Rose suggested.
"Yeahh no…I think I should stay away from his car for a little while," I replied laughing. "Besides toilet paper can get messy and he'd know it's me straight away. We need to do something that's a little subtle and won't give me away."
"Right," Alice agreed.
Suddenly my dirty little mind came up with something brilliant. "Omg porn magazines."
"Bella I don't think now is a good time to be thinking about porn," Rose said, looking at me concerned.
"No in Emmett's room," I continued shaking my head.
"Why would Emmett have porn magazines in his room? He's old and mature, plus he has me." Rose frowned, confused where I was headed.
"Exactly," I grinned, ignoring her implications about Emmett and her.
"Okay now I'm lost," Rosalie looked at Alice blankly and she shrugged.
"Okay listen," I started. "The plan is that you secretly place a couple of porn magazines in Emmett's room when he isn't looking. Then you pretend to stumble across them and throw the biggest hissy fit because you think porn magazines are disgusting-"
"Which is true," Rosalie agreed. I glared at her, "Sorry, please continue."
"As I was saying, you get angry at Emmett and then Emmett, who knows the magazines aren't his, tries to find the only logical solution." I smirked, waiting for them to get it.
"Edward," Alice exclaimed.
"Yep, is it brilliant or what?" I asked excitedly, Alice laughed and started bouncing up and down.
"But do you think Emmett's really going to get angry at Edward?" Rosalie asked.
I smiled, "Only if you get angry at him."
Alice squealed and Rosalie smiled, "Wait!" Rosalie said suddenly. "There's just one problem, how am I supposed to get into Emmett's room without him noticing?"
I raised an eyebrow at her, "Seriously? You're pro at getting into guys' bedrooms, just be your normal charming self."
"I don't know if that's supposed to be a compliment or what?"
"You know I love you," I said while smiling at her innocently.
"Yeah, yeah, you better." Rose replied, rolling her eyes. "Now I'm thinking that once I'm with Emmett inside his room and the whole scene unfolds, I'll discreetly try and call you on my mobile so you can Alice can hear what happening."
"Since we obviously can't be there," Alice finished, nodding her head. "Genius."
"So when are doing all this exactly?" I asked, gesturing wildly.
"Well, I'm supposed to be meeting Emmett in about an hour." Rosalie stated, checking her phone for the time, "So how about now?"
"Perfect," I nodded my head enthusiastically. "Now all we need are some magazines."
"Shotgun not buying them," Alice yelled loudly and suddenly. I jumped, a little startled.
"Whatever, I'll buy the magazines but you guys are coming with me." I went to go reach for the car keys sitting on my desk.
"Just hurry," Rosalie urgently said, throwing her phone another glance.
I got up off my bed and Alice and Rosalie followed and we all hopped in my car. I sped towards the nearest shops…kidding, I definitely didn't need another speeding fine, besides speeding is dangerous.
I parked in front of the local newsagency, "Newsagencies have porn right?"
"I don't know Bella; do I look like I buy porn?" Rose asked, teasingly.
"Do you really want me to answer that question?" I smirked at her.
"Shut up and go buy the damn magazines," Rosalie replied. She hit me on the arm, hard.
I opened the car door, stepping out of the car and slamming it shut. I walked up the pathway and into the store and froze. Jessica was working here, shitttt. Jessica went to our school; she was a complete bitch and a total slut. If she caught me buying porn she'd tell everyone, I swear she had the biggest mouth I'd ever seen, crap crap crap. Whatever, it doesn't matter what she says or thinks, right?
"Jessica," I said loudly. "I didn't know you worked here, actually I didn't know you could work at all." She looked up from filing her fake nails and glared at me in response. I winked and made my way to the back of the store.
It took me a while but eventually I found a whole stack of different porn magazines in the corner of the shop. Without really looking too closely, I picked up a few different ones and went to the cash register to pay.
Jessica rose both of her freshly waxed, no doubt, eyebrows and gave me the weirdest look; a look that clearly said 'what the fuck?' I ignored the look and picked out a packet of spearmint gum sitting in a small stand on the counter, I needed that.
After a moment of silence I looked up to see Jessica staring at me and looking dumbfounded. "Is there a problem, what's taking so long?"
She shook her head, seemingly waking herself up out of her little trance and proceeded to scan the items. "That's um thirty-five dollars and ninety-five cents," her voice was nasally and annoying.
I took out a $50 note and thrust it at her; she stood there staring at it. "Can I get my change? Please?" I added with a fake smile.
"Here," she handed me my change and the bag with my purchases and I got the hell out of there.
"What took you so long?" Alice demanded, as soon as I got in the car and shut the door.
"Jessica was working there –"
"Ooh can I have some gum?" Alice asked eagerly, going through my bag.
"Alice focus," Rosalie reprimanded. "Jessica was working there? Shit!"
"I know! It'll be alright…hopefully." I sighed, hopefully she'd keep her big mouth shut, yeah doubt it. Although even if she did say something, no one would believe her anyway.
"Ooh playboy," Alice opened the magazine, a curious glint in her eye.
"Alice!" Rosalie yelled.
"Sorry, okay let's do this." Alice said enthusiastically.
Everyone nodded in agreement and I started the car, driving towards Emmett's house to drop Rosalie off and to put our plan into action. This was going to be good, Edward Cullen you better watch it.
A/N: Sorry for ending it there guys, let me know what you thought? Review and if you're lucky, I might even chuck in a preview ;)
Don't forget to check out my new story What Happens At A Wedding, Stays At The Wedding.