A/N: "This seems like a funny idea to me. I don't know, got some time to kill. Enjoy. Trish and Lady wont appear that much, maybe in two or three chapters."


Chapter 1

Nero is my nanny?

Lady and Trish were just making the last minute check ups, everything seemed to be in place. While Devil May Cry was in a disastrous condition after the last demon attack, she was sure Nero would order Dante to help clean up.

"Is everything set?" Trish asked Lady, she saw Lady packing up some clothes which she left here in Devil May Cry, just in case she was too tired to go home, Lady nodded in reply and hoisted her bag on her shoulder.

"Yeah, got everything packed. Did you straighten Dante out?" Lady asked. Dante was more like their child rather than friend, it was embarrassing having to tell off a 40 year old man.

"Yeah, I told him off, I told him that everything should at least look professional, or as professional as he can be. I also told him to try and eat better and I also told Nero to look after him when we are gone."

"God, it's like taking care of a 13 year old!" Lady groaned.

"Hey, Trish, how long are you going to be gone?" Dante asked, whether Trish or lady knew it, Dante hated to be alone, he always yearned for company, Trish and Lady are always there.

"I told you, it's only a week."

"So.. you'll be back next Monday right?"

"Of course." Trish said and smiled.

"Great! Got some time to actually be a man here!"

"You do realize Nero is coming here?"

"Crap.. You got my a nanny?" Dante said in confusion.

"Nero. You like him don't'cha?"

"...but.. I wanted to actually be a man again."

"And What? Nero isn't a man."

"What do you think Trish?" Dante said.

"You're awful! Come on he's sweet."

"And has a girlfriend..." Dante reminded her.

"Can't a girl dream?" Trish asked him.

"Come on Trish, time for us to go. Bye Dante, don't blow up the place before Nero gets here, and if you do, TAKE NERO WITH YOU!" Lady yelled to him.

"I'll be an angel, I promise. That wont happen again."

"What happened?" Trish asked.

"Dante left Nero in a burning building, it was not gonna end pretty!" Lady said to her.

Trish started laughing and then they left the grounds of Devil May Cry, Dante slumped down on the couch, and wondered what to do before his 'nanny' got here, he thought about playing a game on one of his consoles, but he already played all of them. He also though of cleaning his motorbike but what was the use when it was about to be re coated with blood? Plus it was already red so no bother. He also though about continuing to fix that broken car he found, but he didn't want to get electrocuted like last time. He literally nearly flew out into space from the electric force from the car. He thought it would've been best to leave it alone, plus he wasn't normal for at least three days, sparking a brief few minutes, causing the demons and the people to call him: 'Mr. Sparky Hair'.

He then got up and re played one of his favorite games, skipping all the cut scenes but this time he is trying it on hard mode. After two seconds of playing Nero opened the door.

'Wasn't those two seconds fun..' Dante thought miserably.

"Hey Nero, how's it going?" Dante asked Nero.

"Fine. Trish and Lady sent me here to-"

"-Take care of me."

"Yeah, so.. what were you doing?"

"Well.. when I finally stopped thinking."

"Wait! You actually thinked? Well that is.. rare.." Nero joked. Dante gave him a malevolent stare.

"I started playing one of my favorites game on hard mode..... then you walked in" Dante said in an angry, deadly tone to Nero.

"S-sorry?" Nero said to him.

"Anyway... anything you wanna do?" Dante asked Nero.

"I don't know, I just got here, I was thinking I could relax."

"With me here?"

"Yeah, you're right, you cause too much trouble than Sanctus."

"Hey, don't pair me with that old fart!"


"Good, come on, I'M BORED!" Dante yelled, shaking Nero to and fro.

"Get off!" Nero yelled.

"Not until we do something!" Dante kept his hands on his shirt.

"I swear to-" Nero couldn't finish the sentence, because the phone interrupted him, Dante bounced off and picked up the phone.

"Hello, Devil May Cry, how may I help you?"

"Help us! There is a demon here thats- Agh!" The caller couldn't finish what she was saying.

"Hello?" Dante said again.

"Sorry 'bout that, thought I saw it, anyway, I am here in the Garden. Please hurry!" the caller said.

"Okay, sure! Nero! We got a job, a demon is attacking isn't that great?!"

"I'm still on the phone." The caller said, Dante put down the phone and went to Nero.

"Hey, Nero-"

"I heard!" Nero growled at Dante.

"Okay, okay. Let's go, you got everything?" Dante asked him.

"I only got Blue Rose here so if I need to set you straight I can shoot out your brains."

"Thanks.." Dante sarcastically quipped. "Well, you got a devil arm, so I don't think a sword is needed with you."

"Thanks." Nero said sourly.

"Let's go dude." Dante said.

It took them not too long to go to the park, with Nero scowling on the way. When they arrived to the park, the demon has already knocked down some trees, a lot of people were running around in confusion, Dante took out Rebellion and Nero readied Blue Rose, the demon was something as huge as a rhino, it had two yellow eyes, his body was covered in something gold, kind of like an armor, it had long claws that seemed to extend and a sign on his forehead it looked like a time glass.

"..Dang that's ugly." Dante commented.

"What do you think? It's a demon." Nero protested.

"So? I'm a half demon and I'm adorable."

"...I'm not even gonna comment." Nero sighed.

"Come on, let's teach this demon a lesson Devil may Cry style!" Dante yelled.

"By beating it repeatedly over the head with a sword?" Nero asked.

"You got it!" He said.

Dante went and charged at the demon, but in a second the demon vanished. Nero took this chance and charged Blue Rose, no use as the demon again vanished.

"What the hell?! Stand still you bug!" Dante yelled.

The demon kept zapping it's way, as fast as lightning, through the park. Both Nero and Dante seized a chance when it stopped in front of a tree, they both charged at it, thinking they could tackle it and shoot it, or give it some blows to it's head, sadly it vanished, both Nero and Dante crashed into a tree.

"Nice going Nero!" Dante yelled.

"Me?! You followed! It wasn't my fault this thing gets it powers from the freakin Flash!" Nero yelled.

"...Ah shut up! Let's just …." Dante said, as he turned round the demon was nowhere to be seen, not that it mattered since they can't catch it.

"..Where'd it go?" Nero asked.

"Do I look like I know?" Dante asked.

"...and another one is set free. Nice going moron." Nero said to Dante.

"Not my fault if the things is too fast to even catch. Besides, I'm sure it went to terrorize someone else, nothing to worry about.." Dante said and started walking away, with Nero still staring at him.

"You're letting it go? Giving up?"

"What do you want me to do Kid? It's too fast for even the Batman to catch, there is nothing I can do, besides, this happens all the time."

"I'm shocked.." Nero sarcastically said.

Nero and Dante went back to the shop. Maybe Dante was right, maybe the demon left, there is nothing to worry about.

The big thing for Nero to worry about is how in God's name is he going to take care of Dante? He and Dante haven't been on the best of terms, if they were locked in a room with each other only one will come out alive....

Nero sighed as they both walked in Devil May Cry. The lights were still on, Dante never bothered to turn them off. Nero went and lay down on the couch, Dante went and continued his game. They both avoided in each other, neither of them knew what to say.

'This was going to be a long week....' Both of them thought.

A/N: I know no one voted for this one, but it seems such a good idea I wanted to try this one you guys. I always wanted to make a friendship/humor fic. So here it is.

Next Chapter: Shopping Mall Duels.