Geeks in Love
Just because I don't have my laptop that had the actual Yullen Week files doesn't mean that I can't try again with a crackastic idea that will more than likely get me sent to Hell. :D It's mainly based off the Game theme, but with the other themes scattered about in different chapters.
For kimichan-chan, for actually convincing me to go through this again even though I don't like the pairing that much. I told you I would do it. People need moar faith in me, I swear.
The first time Allen Walker was cursed to meet social retard Yuu Kanda was on a Game Night Out held by mutual frienemy, Lavi.
"He's totally cool," Lavi had insisted in the arcade, winking with the only eye he had. "A total D and D master. You should check out his character sheet—you'll go ga-ga over the guy."
"Really?" was Allen's reply with a smile as he navigated Ms. Pac-Man through the fifteenth level with ease. "Ga-ga?"
Ga-ga…was not exactly what someone could define his feeling as.
Well, he could define it himself. Maybe he should call the anger coursing through his veins something catchy but at the same time not completely geeky.
"I use English Christian Rage," he said tersely, picking back up his dice. "It kills everything in its path, including Muslims and Jackarses."
Yuu Kanda was not impressed. "That's against the rules, asswipe," he replied, arms crossed as though he wanted to show off his muscles. Allen was also a hater, because it was not fair that a social recluse like this arsehole was able to have the body of a frequent gym visitor, while he was stuck with this skinny, pale physique. God, people could tell he played role-playing games just by looking at him—that was kind of insulting. "The English don't get to use any rage. Besides, you didn't say your character was British in the beginning anyway, so it's still null and void, fuckface."
"Since when did I have to give out my bloody ethnicity for my Level Twenty Monk?" Allen demanded, his eyebrow ticking over his right eye. Ga-ga, Lavi said—bullshite. "I thought I was entitled to at least that much!"
"Well," Kanda sniffed, shrugging. "You aren't. Hey, you with the glasses, it's your turn."
"I do hope you aren't ignoring me," the British teenager said, cocking an eyebrow.
Kanda glanced at him. "What'd you say?" he replied in a loud tone. "I couldn't hear you because I was ignoring you. Dude, I said it's your fucking turn—use it."
Johnny Gill hummed, shaking the dice in his hand. "I don't know," he began timidly, smiling at Allen. "I believe Allen should get another turn—since his attack was made null and void and all."
"Oh, goddamn it." The Japanese man sighed as though terribly pained, rolling his eyes. He turned around in his seat, face grimacing as he caught sight of Lavi. "You didn't tell me I'd be playing with a bunch of martyr dorks."
"Anyone who plays this game might be considered a dork," Allen said with a smile. "I daresay you are also included, Level Forty-Five Warrior. Now, come on, I've just attacked you again. Subtract your points, would you?"
Lavi snickered, covering it up with a helpless smile and a small shrug. "I told you he was polite," he said to Kanda, who couldn't take his murderous intent glare off of the younger teenager. "I don't know what's wrong with him right now."
"I have an allergic reaction to hypocritical arseholes," Allen explained. "It causes me to go through bouts of schizophrenia, and sometimes Tourette's. Bloody 'ell!"
Kanda did not look like he believed his totally logical explanation, which made the white-haired boy smile harder. "Is there something on my face, prick?" he asked.
"You really don't want me to answer that," Kanda replied, clicking his tongue in disdain as he scribbled some point information on his character sheet. "So, now it's your turn, Four-Eyes."
Allen wanted to throw something at the jerk. Kanda—who must've been nineteen and in college, if Lavi was telling the truth when he said the prick was the same age as the redhead—reminded him of bullies in his high school. The ones that stuff you in lockers and throw paper balls at the back of your head when they want the answers to a ridiculously easy test.
(He touched the back of his hair sadly—he can still feel the wrinkled college-ruled sheets at the most inopportune times.)
"Jackarse," he muttered underneath his breath, eyes fixed on his figurine on the exceedingly large game board.
A hand ruffled his hair (of which needed a desperate cut, particularly the bangs), and he looked up with gray eyes. "Whaddid I say, eh?" Lavi grinned, showing off his perfect teeth. "Ga-ga."
"Err, right." Mutual frienemy, mutual frienemy. The single reason why he has not pelted the pretty-boy prick with his dice. "Just, uh, just don't invite me next time he's here."
"Aww, word? Man, I thought you guys were so fucking compatible. I mean, you were, like," the redhead coughed lowly in his throat. "Flirting."
Allen paused, actually feeling the mortification on his face. "No," he deadpanned. "Just, eww, no! What drugs are you bloody tracking—"
"Hey, shut the fuck up," Kanda snapped, scowling. "We're trying to play this goddamn game, and you're just yapping like a little dog. Jesus Christ, man."
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell me to shut up," Allen retorted, huffing. "Besides, I have a valid right to 'yap like a little dog' and you aren't the boss of me anyway."
"I hate repeating myself," Kanda grumbled, raking his hand through his abnormally silky hair. "Can you just shut up—ouch!" He rubbed his forehead, where a diamond-shaped die was perfectly aimed. "What the fuck was that for?"
"What was that?" Allen asked, holding a wrinkled red hand to his ear, smirking. "I couldn't hear you over the fact that you're a complete arsehole." He tossed another die at the man, snickering.
"I'll…I'll fucking maim you!" The nineteen-year-old stood up from his seat, slamming his hands on the board. Like a little earthquake, all the figurines bounced around before toppling over, and Allen frowned.
"You just knocked over my bloody Monk!" he insisted, reaching over to pick up the little statue. "Way to be a jerk, jerk."
"I'll knock over more than just your Monk," Kanda hissed, and Lavi was quick to tap him on the shoulder. "What the fuck do you want, One-Eyed Willy?"
"Look, this is our night out as friends," Lavi replied with a grin. "Let's not mess it up because my legally illegal friend won't bend over for you on the first date."
Kanda closed his mouth and opened it again, gaping. "Excuse me?" he demanded, dark eyes wide. "I—you—bean sprout—what?" His words were caught in his throat, and he couldn't even move. Allen really could not blame him—he probably would not have done any differently if he weren't so concentrated on making sure his precious Monk was not damaged. It cost thirty dollars—that's quite a bit of his allowance, right there.
"I mean, look at the kid," Lavi continued, sighing. "At least buy him dinner. Then you might be able to cop a feel—ack!" He tugged at the hands around his neck. "Dude, you're, like, choking me!"
"I'm doing something right with my life, then," Kanda replied from clenched teeth, trying to choke the one-eyed man tighter. "Why the fuck would you even say something like that? I mean, eww—"
"Right," Allen said. "Because someone would want to have sex with you as well." He placed his Monk back on the board. "I'm being sarcastic, by the way. It feels like your personality is like a force field that prevents anyone would harboring sexual feelings for you and your psychotic ways."
Kanda loosened his grip on Lavi's neck, scowling. "Like, a Star Wars force field?" he asked suspiciously.
"What? Oh, no!" Allen frowned, shaking his head. "More like the Green Lantern, in that you have the ability to be attractive if you weren't a complete arse."
"Just making sure," Kanda replied, sniffing. "I fucking hate Star Wars."
Surprisingly enough, I really do enjoy the thought of master-RPG-geek/high-school-bully-magnet!Allen and college-student/socially-stunted!Kanda and their board RPG adventures. (I am secretly a total nerd, btw. I love this kind of shit—especially RPGs. God, RPGs.)
This took me about an hour and some minutes to write. :D At that rate, I should be able to finish before the week is over—and, if not, well, I'll still finish it anyway. :D
(Seriously, though. KanAre? Not my thing. D: If there's gonna be another Yullen Week, call me when you're sober. Or when you want Poker Pair, it's all good in my 'hood either way.)