Helen fled from my thoughts as soon as my body began to tense. It was to the point where every movement heightened my awareness and everything mattered. I watched a fly pass me in the hall, its wings fluttering far too fast to be noticed. Akin to light. A small smile played upon my lips; most flies only lived 24 hours, but I had been much luckier. This bond suddenly snapped when I saw an officer swat the fly away. Briefly, I wished I was Light, so that maybe I could avoid this, but deep down I knew it was right. Even with Mitch by my side I couldn't think beyond….anything.
That flies fate had been sealed, just as mine was to be.
I took a deep breath and watched as the man Billy was supposed to call father stepped into the room.
Bedraggled, the mans hair had grown out to almost his shoulders. A beard over took his full jaw, which still had traces of recent bruises. He looked thuggish, but broken.
The plastic scraped on the floor as he dragged the chair backwards, never lifting his eyes to ours. We were invisible to him.
"Let's get the fuck out of here."
The sea of bodies around us blurred at the edges, faces became uniform- unidentifiable. Mitch hung back, his body emanating resentment. Nothing clouded my judgement; I had no moral dilemma or worry of consequence due to my coming actions. Rather than hinder me, Billys body seemed to mould itself around me and not vice versa, awaiting my lead. Something was changing. The man hung his head, but as soon as I spoke his head snapped up as though his hair had been dragged at the root.
His eyes misted over when he focused on Billys face, the one that covered my own. His jaw clenched, a vein in his neck throbbed.
"If it isn't William."
His voice was mismatched to his gruff demeanor. Even though he was a broken man, this much was obvious; he was not used to being powerless. Faded tattoos adorned his arms and at my gaze he flexed and balled his fists.
I did not answer him, but merely took a seat opposite him resting one of my palms on the bolted down table.
"I heard about what ya did. I heard you almost fucking crippled yourself."
Again, I stayed silent.
"You couldn't even finish what I started." He laughed, a deep belied laugh but he made sure it never drew attention.
Billys fingers began to tingle, the heart I was borrowing began to skip beats.
Something was changing.
His father was a sick man, intent on destroying and feeding his ego. I blinked twice, and turned to the window. Billys reflection gazed back at me, before placing one of his hands on the glass.
"You'll look at me when I'm talking to you boy!"
I turned back quickly, truly curious now as to how far this man would go.
"I pity your son. And your wife."
He blinked, and stared at me.
"I also pity you, for you have no clue as to what destruction you reap not only to others but yourself. This sentence you serve here won't be your only one."
A tremor ripped through his body, so I stood. Billy was no longer at the window.
" For everything, thank you. Truly, from the depths of my soul. While you rot here, I shall be spending everyday waiting for news of you. And not the good kind."
"Why the fuck are you talking like that? Billy you're one crazy son of a bitch. The guys heard rumours but fucking hell, the kids lost it!" He leant forward, changing his reclining state. "Do me a favour kid, and fucking pop a few more pills."
Billys fists clenched, but it wasn't me. I began to feel lightheaded, my feet every so slightly unsteady…my mouth opened and I found myself uttering words I would never have spoken in front of my Helen.
A hand clasped my shoulder.
No one else in the room could see the spirit, no one could have guessed that at that moment pain tore through my left side, a fire so hot that it felt as though the blood boiled. I felt myself peel away from the flesh, my fingers lifting from his marrow. Billy slipped effortlessly into his shell.
And I was thrown out.
My light attached itself to the air, to the dust. More weightless than before I had lay into his body
But I didn't go anywhere. God did not call to me, Diggs did not find me. My soul did not find true peace.
I watched as Billys eyes flickered and his heart pumped furiously.
During the transition, his father had attacked him again and the jolt had been enough to call Billy back to himself. All I had felt was the burning of me shedding his body.
I smiled, knowing that Billy would never leave his body again. He was where he was meant to be, but what was my destination?
I could not stand to be without Helen, to wander around the field marking paces until dawn.
The last thing I saw before I moved away as light, was Mitch run into the room and help Billy to his feet before Policemen pulled him away from his brothers attacker.
She flooded my mind, my being. I was drawn to her but I could not go to her.
My vision grew bleary. I gave myself up. I pulled myself from the dust, the air, the leaves and the buildings. I did not fear.
And then, through the haze I heard Diggs call my name.