Bad Day

By craziestanimefan

Riza Hawkeye strode through the halls, exuding a deathly silence that many interpreted as meaning that she was tired, cranky, angry, or all three. Her fellow soldiers parted obediently, unwilling to face her wrath and leaving her an open path. Jean Havoc only sighed, rubbing his temples. What had that idiot of a colonel done this time?

"I did nothing," Roy stated, sitting in his armchair rather stiffly when Havoc confronted him later in the rare moments that Riza had left the room.

"I beg to differ, sir. Hawkeye's expression is enough to say that she is thoroughly upset."

Roy was silent.

"Is she really that unhappy, Jean?"

Havoc sighed, the cigarette in his mouth drooping more than usual. "I really do think so, sir. Whatever you did-"

"I didn't do anything," he said rather forcefully, and Jean realized that maybe the colonel was hiding something from the entire office.

"-just suck up your pride and apologize."

Roy looked beyond flustered and a bit puzzled (about what, Havoc did not know) but was at a loss of what to say. "Fine."

Havoc was a bit shocked at the ease of the task of convincing his usually rather arrogant colonel to apologize.

"But I need you to do me a few errands…"

It was like a battle of wills. She said nothing and worked at her station for seven hours straight, stopping only to fetch herself a cup of tea (while she usually brought him a coffee as well), a quick sandwich, and for bathroom breaks. It was odd, to have his daily routine disturbed. No coffee, no joking, and no Riza Hawkeye hounding on him. All of his other subordinates noticed the tension and found excuses to leave the office for extended periods of time. It was too silent. Havoc had delivered his "package" about half an hour ago. Now all that was left was to just spit it out. He stood from his desk and approached her. She still sat diligently, filling out her own paperwork silently.


She did not respond at all, not even a blink.

"Look, Riza-"

There was still no response. That meant he needed to get to the big guns and quick.

"I just wanted to say that I know I'm a conniving, manipulative, lazy, womanizing bastard. I'm sorry for paying that 2nd Lieutenant four wings down with endless drinks to do my paperwork when you weren't around, even though I stopped a few months ago."

She looked at him in surprise, and he found a need to speak even more quickly.

"I know that I'm an unforgivable cretin because I left you alone by the punch bowl at the military ball last month-" there was an intake of breath "-and I almost forgot your birthday seventeen days ago."

"Sir, I-"

"And I encouraged that nice lad to ask you on a date when I know you really don't want a relationship right now. I honestly didn't mean for him to grope you, I swear." She opened her mouth to interject, but he cut her off.

"I accidentally poured salt instead of sugar into your tea a few days ago when the cafeteria mixed them up and I blamed it on Havoc when it really was me, but I helped you home when you felt sick afterwards so that counts, right?" And with that he promptly thrust the package he'd sent Havoc to pick up, a bouquet of daisies, some candies, and some polish for her gun, into her arms as a peace offering.

"Excuse me, sir?" She looked utterly confused, but as the words processed in her mind, her face began to darken. Roy was nervous. Shouldn't that have made her not mad at him instead of the exact opposite?

"Isn't that why you're mad today, Lieutenant?" he asked carefully, knowing that by her narrowing eyes that he was treading on dangerous grounds.

"I happen to have been taking care of Black Hayate all of last week since he was sick, and I haven't gotten a decent night's sleep since. I'm sorry to have been giving everyone the wrong impression." She looked at him. "But that bout of tea certainly didn't help."

Roy's mouth was opening and closing, quite similarly to a fish. "So…you weren't mad at me?"

Riza sighed and then promptly yawned. "No, Colonel, but now that you've spilled all of your dirty secrets, I am."


"So…can we just start this day over and forget this ever happened?" He stuck out his hand and gave her a sugar-coated smile, but his eyes really told her that he was there for support should she ever need it. She accepted, gripping firmly but replying with her own thankful gaze.

"I'm Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. I specialize in guns."

"Colonel Roy Mustang. Your devilishly handsome superior officer."

"Well then, my devilishly handsome superior officer," she said, smiling tightly, and Roy felt something in the pit of his stomach, "why don't we go four halls down and get all that paperwork you've been shunning?"

May his day be doubly damned.