Ch 8: Embracing the Future
Two days had passed since Spock and Kirk had returned to the Enterprise. They both were doing a spectacular job of avoiding each other. Spock was determined to stay out of Kirk's way to allow him more time to himself, and Kirk was working up the courage to face Spock with his feelings. Each hour that passed seemed unusually longer to the two youths. Kirk would nervously check the clock frequently, hoping more time had passed that it really had. Spock was unable to concentrate on any of the tasks he assigned himself and the only thing he could focus on for longer than 5 minutes was meditation. Meditating had helped Spock put a reign on his emotions, but for some odd reason, he was unable to quell the anxiety that riddled his mind. At every sound, he'd turn around, hoping Kirk would be coming to talk, and every time, he found himself still alone.
It was quite odd that Spock felt so utterly out of sorts without the captain's company. As much as they annoyed him, his little quirks were what interested him the most about the captain. His wide, sometimes lopsided grin always managed to lift his spirits, even when they were arguing. His eyes were a blue that morphed depending on their surroundings. They could be a blue as deep as the sea, or as cold as ice. The way he walked, the way he talked, his mannerisms…all these little things and more, Spock came to miss in their time apart.
Meanwhile, Kirk was going insane. The fantasies and the mind meld memories all but faded away to the back of his mind. However, his stomach was a constant ball of butterflies. Every flash of blue that caught his eye caused his breath to catch in his throat, making him think that just around the next corner would be Spock, working on some inane task. Of course, no one was there when he looked. He could have sworn up and down Spock was in the same room as him when the two were in total opposite areas of the ship. Where there was silence, he could hear his voice.
Kirk couldn't take it anymore. If he didn't go to see Spock, he was certain he'd start talking to the air around him. He marched down the corridor that led to Spock's room. As he turned a corner, something collided with him. Knocked back about a foot, he shook his head to straighten himself out. When he looked back up, he stood face to face with the very man he was going to see.
"Spock!" Surprise in his voice rang clearly through the silent corridor. Spock struggled to hide his own surprise upon seeing Kirk's face.
"Captain…your timing is impeccable. I was just on my way to see you."
Kirk laughed lightly, "Well whadda ya know. I was just on my way to see you!"
Spock straightened himself up and clasped his hands behind his back. "Well, seeing as though we are both on our way to see each other, perhaps we should pick a proper place to converse?"
Kirk shook his head. "No, now is as good a time as any to talk. Personally, I'd like to stay out of rooms with a bed for this discussion. "
This comment, though clearly made in jest, shook Spock internally. The slight falter in his calm exterior didn't escape Kirk's notice. "I'm…I'm sorry, uh, probably wasn't a good idea to bring that up."
"Captain…Jim…" Kirk's eyebrows raised in surprise from hearing Spock use his first name. He hadn't heard it since they were about Spock Prime's ship. "I want to tell you how truly sorry I am for my actions. I…forgot myself. When I visited Spock Prime in the Vulcan colony, he performed a mind meld to help me better understand what would have been my future, and what had been his past. The sheer amount of information threw my usual control off, and as I was in a rather vulnerable state, I acted of a will that was not truly my own."
"Vulnerable?!?" scoffed Kirk. "You wanna talk about vulnerable?!? You chased me into a corner, climbed into my bed, and you ki…" Kirk faltered. "You kissed me. And that wasn't just any kiss, oh no, that kiss was something unlike anything I ever experienced before."
"Did you find it…pleasurable?" Spock purposefully emphasized the last word. Kirk gulped, not quite ready to respond with the truth just yet; his face betrayed him as his cheek turned scarlet. The corners of Spock's mouth perked up, which made Kirk's blood boil. Dropping his voice to a low volume and using a dangerous tone of voice, he raised a finger at the Vulcan before him. "What I felt from that kiss has nothing to do with my point. You took advantage of me. Me. And you did it at a time when I was at my most vulnerable. And you couldn't just leave, no, not you. Not good ol' Mister Spock." Kirk inched closer and closer to Spock as his temper began to rise. "Mister Spock had to press the matter; he had to get up in my face; he had to do everything in his power to make me look weak!" Kirk poked Spock in the chest to emphasize his point.
A deadly fire flared in Spock eyes as anger welled deep within him. He countered Kirk's forward momentum with his own. "And what about you? Who are you to talk about taking advantage of someone and making them look weak?!? As I recall, you never apologized for your actions on the bridge after returning from Delta Vega. As I recall, you never even explained to me your reasoning behind it, and as I recall, while Prime personally requested that you find a way to reveal my emotional compromise, it was you who chose the words you said. You humiliated me in front of everyone on that bridge, and so help me if my father was not present, you would have been dead on that control panel!"
"Oh, I'm sorry!" Kirk said sarcastically, closing the gap between them, which was already mere inches. "Were you offended by what I said? Well I'm sorry I didn't exactly shower you with praise for marooning me on a fucking ice planet!!!!!" Kirk grabbed a fistful of the Vulcan's shirt. Spock's dark eyes narrowed. "Release me at once, Captain."
"No. I don't think I will," Kirk spat venomously. "You know, I still owe you an ass whoopin'. No wait, make that two. One for marooning me, and one for the beat down on the bridge! And this time, daddy's not here to reel you back in!"
Kirk reared back and flung his fist at the Vulcan, whose reflexes proved to be much faster than anticipated. Spock released himself from Kirk's grip and punched him squarely in the jaw. Kirk stumbled backwards, but did not fall. However, before he could prepare another attack, the Vulcan lunged at his waist and tackled him. The two hit the ground with a loud thud, the wind being knocked out of Kirk's lungs. He raised a hand to hit Spock, but the Vulcan's reflexes proved faster yet again. Spock grabbed the wrist of the hand Kirk tried to hit him with, grabbed the other before Kirk could prepare another attack, and slammed both onto the floor. Kirk squirmed helplessly underneath, anxious to get loose, but Spock straddled his waist, pinning his legs down firmly. Spock now had full control of the situation. His dark desires swirled again deep inside of him. He could lay claim to Kirk here and now and no one could stop him…
But he caught himself. The two days of meditation had helped Spock regain some of his former control of his emotions. While the desires were far from gone, he was able to contain himself enough to say what he needed to say. "Now that I have prevented you from attacking," he calmly said, ignoring the daggers Kirk threw at him with his gaze, "perhaps we can talk civilly. I was en route to your quarters to discuss matters with you, and this is where my attempt got me. You are the most arrogant, reckless, frustratingly stubborn human male I have ever had the misfortune of becoming a subordinate to, and were it not for my human heritage, there would have been merely a 2.07 percent chance that I would have fallen in love with you as I have, unintentional and unavoidable as it may be."
"Yeah, well you're…wait, what?!?" Kirk looked up at the Vulcan, whose face flushed a deep green. "Call it madness, a sickness, a delusion, or even a mind meld side effect if you so please. But that does not change what I feel inside. For all intents and purposes, I should hate you with every fiber of my being. Every last thing about you is illogical, from your mannerisms to your words to your actions. But damn it all, you are the only human besides my mother that makes me proudly embrace my ability to feel."
Before Kirk could say another word, Spock planted a deep kiss on Kirk's parted lips. His tongue dove into Kirk's mouth, tingling with the same sweetness he tasted before. To his surprise, the human did not struggle, but rather, he returned the kiss fully. Spock slid his hands from Kirk's wrists to his hands and interlocked their fingers. He pressed his body against the full length of Kirk's body, feeling every swell of his chest as he breathed, and the rising bulge between his legs.
He broke the kiss suddenly, much to Kirk's dismay. The two gasped for air and stared at each other with longing in their eyes. "Now," Spock said between breaths, "I believe you had something you wished to discuss as well."
With a sly smirk, Kirk rolled quickly to his right, switching their positions. Now Spock lay on the floor and Kirk towered above him, their hands still intertwined. Spock showed no surprise on his face; rather, he gave a knowing look to his captain and smiled openly. "Well, seeing as you've bared your soul to me, I suppose I should do the same. You have got to be the most up-tight, anal, mechanical son-of-a-bitch that I've ever been attracted to. Since day one, you have managed to get under my skin, and despite how hard you try to remain calm, cool, and collected, you can't help but show your ass around me."
An eyebrow involuntarily shot upward on Spock's face as he gave an incredibly cute look of genuine confusion. "Jim, I do not recollect ever presenting a donkey before you or any other member of Starfleet. Furthermore, I do not see how this is in any way related to your confession."
Kirk laughed loudly and heartily. It was amazing just how dense his counterpart was. "You see, it's shit like that that makes me love you." He smiled his trademark pearly white smile, and though still confused about his last comment, Spock gave him one in return.
"So," Kirk said, bringing one of Spock's hands up to his lips and kissing it softly. "What do you suppose we do now? I don't confess my love to just anyone. Matter of fact, you're the first since my childhood."
"Well Jim," Spock replied. "In my culture, making direct hand contact with another is a sign of a love bond. It signifies that the two are, dare I say, destined to be together for as long as they so choose. Though I will warn you now, Jim, I will not tolerate any of your so called, "skirt-chasing", as you are the first and only person I have ever made direct hand to hand contact with."
Kirk's eyes widened in surprise. "Your first and only?!? But…what about Uhura?!?"
"I cannot deny that Uhura has captivated me. She is beautiful, intelligent, hard-working, and exceptionally gifted." He smiled evilly at the blatant look of jealousy draped on Kirk's face. Spock seized this opportunity to flip Kirk back onto his back and look at him hungrily. He kissed Kirk passionately for only a moment, pulling away with Kirk desperately seeking the return of his lips in vain. "However, you have, and always will be, my t'hy'la."
End of Destiny
To those of you expecting a juicy, lemony finish, sorry. I have a sequel coming up that takes place almost immediately after this one, but there's enough of a time lapse where I might be persuaded to write a lemon. I'll see how this is perceived and decide soon…