Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
AN: I just love the KakuHida pairing, don't you? They are just so fun together, with a relationship possessing so many different facets. I am personally more partial to the dark, brutal aspects of these two, but for my first time writing this pair I've elected to play around with the funny, lighthearted aspects. Enjoy.
"Oi, Kakuzu, you know, I've been thinking," Hidan declared out of the blue as he and his partner walked across the countryside at a leisurely pace.
"I'll alert the media," came the dry, sarcastic response from the stitch-nin, who didn't break his stride.
"Fuck you! I'm serious!" the immortal barked back, stomping his feet a little as he walked. "What the hell is your problem, anyway?!"
Kakuzu glanced over at his partner with a blank stare, casually meeting the withering glare he was receiving. A silent staring contest, before the older, more mature of the two broke off with a sigh.
"Fine, I'll humor you," he drawled tiredly with a slight roll of his bright green eyes. "What have you been thinking about?"
"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Hidan was always so easily appeased by even the slightest bit of interest in what he had to say. "But seriously, you know how the bounty on your head is higher than the rest of Akatsuki's put together?"
"It's not that high," Kakuzu interrupted, his tone still flat and dry.
"Whatever. The point is that you've got a fucking high price on your head," the zealot continued. "And you always love turning in anyone with a fucking high price on their head, right?"
The mercenary stayed silent, glaring out of the corner of his eye at his partner, who either didn't notice or didn't care. Maybe even a combination of the two.
"Right! So I was wondering why you've never tried turning in your own body for the bounty."
Kakuzu stopped dead in his tracks. Puzzled, Hidan stopped as well, cocking his head slightly at his sudden change in behavior.
"What?" There was a low, threatening tone to his voice, but it was clear that it was a question born of confusion.
"You know, scam them, give them a shadow clone or something and then take the money and run before they realize what hit them. It's so something I could see a money-whore like you doing."
Still Kakuzu stayed silent, but now he looked slightly thoughtful. Not that Hidan could tell.
"And, seriously, I'd even help you out!" the immortal went on. "'Cause it would be fucking funny to drag around your 'dead' body and make up stories about how I 'killed' you. And knowing you, we'd be doing it repeatedly, at every shit-hole exchange point you know about."
Kakuzu suddenly rounded on his partner, the unexpected move making the zealot jump back. But not fast enough to avoid the stitch-nin's hands reaching out to clasp both of his wrists. Intense green eyes looked deeply into shocked maroon.
"Hidan…?" Kakuzu asked softly. "Will you marry me?"