Right, just a little one shot inspired by an edition of the incredible Pika-la-Cynique's comic "The Girls Next Door" which was in turn inspired by Asherhyder's equally amusing comic "Roommates", both of which you should definitely check out. They're hilarious. Anyway, to get the full effect you should read the comic first. http:// pika-la-cynique deviantart .com/art/GND-Speshul-Wet-n-Fluffy-105896633 (just take out the spaces)

Hope you enjoy!

"Ugh… Stupid history… Who knew so many incredibly boring events occurred because incredibly boring people did incredibly boring things?" I grumbled irritably to myself as I flipped the page in my textbook, pen tapping out a rhythm on the dishearteningly empty paper that was supposed to be housing a three page essay. Really… Would it have killed the authors to add a little flair or exaggeration to this thing? Or maybe edit…

The steady patter of rain hitting against my window was oddly soothing, and I felt my eyelids gradually drooping as I pondered how much, exactly, this assignment would influence my grade point average.…

A sudden, frantic flapping sounded outside my window, waking me from my daze, and I glanced up just in time to see something white and taloned streaking directly towards my face.

"GYAAAH!!!" I yelped in surprise, jolting backwards and nearly toppling my flimsy computer chair over in the process. I clutched a hand to my pounding heart and attempted to keep my breath from coming in short gasps as my eyes settled on the offending creature.

Wide, unblinking golden eyes surveyed me closely, the expression held within them completely unreadable. Wings fluttered for a moment before folding peacefully against a downy (if completely soaked) body, and a round head tilted quizzically to the side as a soft hoot emitted from a bronze beak.

That fluffy-haired, tights-wearing, sparkle-fied fairy bastard!

"Reason number 283 why I won't date you!" I shouted out wrathfully, wincing internally at the startled squeak in my voice. "Quit givin' me those frickin' heart attacks!"

His Nibs's only response was to tilt his head in the opposite direction and release another soft, innocent, and utterly adorable hoot. He looked so pathetic, with his rain-drenched feathers plastered to his body and his eyes silently pleading with me, that I felt a twinge of sympathy for him course through me. Immediately afterwards, though, came a rush of anger to take it's place, and I ground my teeth together determinedly. I'd be damned if I let the manipulative git play with my emotions.

"Oh, look at the cute and harmless widdle owl at my window…" I mocked scathingly. "How pitiful it is, begging for me to let it in… I'm sure you preferred bursting in dramatically with a crash of lightning and a burst of glitter, didn't you?"

His eyes narrowed a minuscule amount, and the click of his beak snapping shut was audible even through the window.

"Throwing snakes and gloating as your goblins scurried around me?" I felt my lips twist up in vindicated satisfaction. "Well, tough. You can't be expecting me to apologize for beating you and just let you waltz on in here anyway." I stated airily, leaning back over my desk and grabbing my pen as I attempted to restart on my history work.

A few moments of silence passed while I tried to zone back in on the wars and rebellions and other such carnage I was trying to study, but the unnerving feeling of being unblinkingly scrutinized had me shifting uncomfortably in my seat. After a moment, I relented and glanced up to see that Jareth had gotten over his irritation and returned to his desolate expression, eyes silently pleading with me for shelter from the unrelenting storm.

"Oh yeah, you can look all pitiful and bedraggled now, but that is not going to make me forget all the crap you put me through!" I declared emphatically, jabbing my pen towards him for emphasis.

He stared blankly back.

"I mean, really! You kidnapped my brother, you tried to dump me in the bog, you drugged me…"

His head tilted to the side a little more for every offense I ticked off on my fingers.

"You stole three hours of my time just because I didn't tremble in fear at the sight of you… You set the cleaners on me! And Humongous, and the entire frickin' Goblin army… and…"

…And a half-drowned ball of fluff should not look that damn adorable…

Head cocked at an almost ninety degree angle. Wide, sweet, and vulnerable eyes never breaking contact with my face. As I trailed off, he fluttered his wings feebly and gave a forlorn coo as a shiver raked through his small, soaked body.

"Oh, for the love of…" I muttered scornfully as I reached forward to throw my window open. With a triumphant cry, he hopped through and plopped into my lap, rotating his head backwards to fix me with an adoring gaze.

"Yeah, well, don't get toocomfy…" I murmured, reaching up to scratch his downy head despite myself. He really was so darn cute like this… "This is just until you dry off, 'kay?"

He gave one last satisfied hoot before returning his head to the proper position and settling back against me as I retried my attempts at writing. However, my earlier sense of peace soon returned to me, increased by the soothing feeling of running my fingers across his downy feathers and the soft noises of contentment he would emit every so often, and I soon felt myself drifting into unconsciousness…


I awoke feeling warm and exceedingly comfortable, with an intoxicating scent surrounding me and my face resting against some kind of unbelievably soft material. With a sigh, I burrowed deeper into whatever I was laying on and tried to savor the last dregs of pleasant drowsiness before I fully woke up. The two arms that I hadn't previously bothered to notice were around me tightened in response, and I purred sleepily as a hand stroked absentmindedly across my back.

Wait… What?!

My eyes flew open in shock, only to be greeted with the piercing, two-toned gaze of the Goblin King.

How in the name of all that is holy…

Some time during the night, he had apparently managed to revert back to his human form and somehow commandeer my chair without waking me, so that I now found myself nestled rather intimately in his lap, arms wrapped around his neck and face buried in the crook of his shoulder, with my legs draped across his thighs. His own legs were resting atop my desk, and he was reclined in the chair in a way that defied the laws of physics (by all means, the flimsy thing should have toppled over by now) with his arms cradling me protectively against his chest, a position which of course I was not enjoying!

……No. Really. I wasn't…..

After giving myself a moment to take all of this in, my gaze then settled back on his infuriatingly smug face. I glared at him dangerously as a snarl began forming in my throat.

"Good morning, Sarah." He greeted pleasantly, eyes twinkling with dark amusement and seemingly not at all concerned by my growing fury. "I hope you had just as lovely a night's sleep as I did…"

"You slimy, manipulative, perverted GIT of a man!" I screamed, smacking my hands against his chest and ripping myself away from his embrace. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

His arms tightened like steel vices around me, completely preventing my escape. "Really, now, Precious, it's a bit early to be speaking at that volume. Most people are still in bed at this hour!" He chided gently. "Show some respect."

My jaw dropped open and flailed in such a way that I probably resembled a trout being electrocuted. "R—r—respect? RESPECT?! You guilted me into letting you out of the rain, then proceeded to molest me in my sleep! How's that for respect, Glitter King?!"

The corner of Jareth's mouth curled into a deliciously wicked smirk that sent my hormones racing, despite the incoherent rage I was currently in. "Molest you? Is that what you think I did?" He asked, mock insult saturating his voice. "I merely relocated you so that you wouldn't be so stiff and sore today. It wounds me that you would doubt my honor so!"

"Yes… Because you're oh so honorable and can obviously be trusted around an unconscious female…" I retorted scathingly, trying yet again to remove myself from his grasp with very little effectiveness.

With a yelp, I suddenly felt myself pulled flush against his chest, my face mere centimeters from his own.

"Trust me, precious thing," He breathed, leaning to bury his face against my neck. "There are countless things I would like to do to you… But when I do them, I am going to have you awake and totally aware of every. Single. One." He growled devilishly, accenting each of the last three words with a fluttered kiss over my collarbone.

I bit back a groan and tried to ignore the delicious chills his actions sent coursing through my body. "Jareth?" I began, internally doing a victorious jig because my voice came out evenly.

His only response was to trail his fingers slowly, oh so slowly, down my spine, and nip lightly at my pulse, immediately following that with a hot, open-mouthed, kiss to soothe it.

"Mm, Jareth…" This time it came out more as a moan. My triumphant jigger keeled over dead from shame. Jareth made a low, satisfied sound in the back of his throat and tightened his grip on me, his mouth trailing slowly up my neck to land against the shell of my ear. "Jareth!" Somewhere between a cry of pleasure and an angry shout this time. At least I was making some progress.

To be such a smug, irritating bastard, he's infuriatingly seductive… Ugh! What am I thinking? This is the frickin' Goblin King, here! I can't just sit still and let him feel me up! Right. That would be stupid, and pathetic, and completely illogical, and… well, suicidal, really… All of these things. …So why am I not doing anything?

"Damnit, Jareth!" I shouted finally, completely shocked at the reserve of willpower I found buried inside myself. "Get your baby-snatching hand off my ass, put your slimy tongue back in your mouth, stop looking at me like you're picturing me naked atop you wielding your riding crop, and let me go!" I ordered furiously, and, after a long internal debate with my mutinous muscles, finally managed to rip myself from his grasp.

His arms fell to his sides and he didn't offer any protests, instead watching me calculatingly through hooded eyes. "Riding crop, eh? I hadn't actually thought of that before, but now that you mention it…"

"Oh don't even screw with me right now, fairy boy…"

He cocked an eyebrow at that. "Well it honestly wasn't my intention to screw with you, so much as to actually sc--"

"Finish that sentence and I swear to God I will remove the only head you are actually capable of thinking with."

A soft, sensuous chuckle escaped his mouth. "Such a stubborn little girl…"

I scoffed, placing my hands on my hips and tilting my head to the side condescendingly. "Little girl? I'm not a fifteen year old playing dress up and reciting lines through your Labyrinth anymore, Jareth."

He tapped a finger to his chin thoughtfully, letting his eyes rake leisurely up and down my body in a way that made me fight to keep from squirming. "I stand corrected. You have obviously grown up quite a bit…" He murmured huskily, his gaze finally reaching my eyes.

"That I have." I agreed softly, letting my mouth spread into a seductive grin. His eyes widened in surprise at my response before he quickly narrowed them back into a predatory gaze. "Jareth?"

"Yes, Sarah?" He uttered my name like a velvet caress, and I had to lock my knees to keep them from buckling underneath me.

"Get the hell out of my room."

Without missing a beat, he flashed me a crooked grin and rose gracefully from my computer chair, grasping my hand and bowing elegantly over it to place a lingering kiss against my knuckles. "As you wish, my Queen…" He murmured silkily and, with one last smoldering look, glided out of my room.

"Narcissistic womanizing peacock…" I snarled angrily to myself, pressing a hand against my stomach as if it could still the actions of the impudent butterflies that insisted on fluttering around inside it. The butterflies instantly converted to a rather large rock as my eyes landed on the clock and revealed to me that I had all of thirty minutes to get ready for classes, and I still hadn't finished my history paper. "Shit!"

I rushed frantically to the desk to attempt to jot down some form of bullcrap that would hopefully at least get me a seventeen for effort, but froze in shock as I saw my handwriting sprawled across three and a half full pages in my notebook. "How in the hell…" I trailed off, wondering if I perhaps sleep-wrote it or something as a quick skim through the first few paragraphs revealed that it was indeed in my writing style and everything. It was then that I noticed the large ivory feather laying across my desk.

"Jareth, you sneaky bastard…" I muttered, the insult somehow twisting into a form of endearment as I ran the feather thoughtfully through my fingers and let my mouth spread into a warm smile.