Title: Call it a Diagonal Transfer

Author's Notes: No, not dead, just life being blech.

Disclaimer: Fanfiction this is. Copyrights belong to their respective holders. (which aren't me)

Delores Umbridge sat in her office with a frown plastered over her broad face. She could hear the pacing in Cornelius' office next to her. His heavy footfalls and quiet, angry mutters perfectly recorded by the monitoring charm she had set up. She had to make sure a man in his position was properly protected after all.

She looked down at the authorization form in front of her and her frown deepened into a scowl. Dementers would be too good for the arrogant little anarchist brat. Cornelius was a good man. He was a good Minister, a proper Minister. And that boy and that wicked old man were trying to put people into a panic with their self-aggrandizing lies.

No, she decided, dementers were too good for the little demon.


Immediately she frowned as she considered that line of thought. The demon realms were largely sealed off these days. There were the occasional incursions, but they were typically more like childish pranks than actual attacks. Every single excursion that had ventured into those realms in documented history had never returned.

Lost, though, no one was sure exactly what it was that occurred.

But the most important thing was "They were never heard from again."

That was just what they needed, to never hear from the attention seeking little brat again. Suddenly, a niggling little bit of information wormed its way into her recollection. They had, at one time, used the demon realms as a way of disposing of unwanted individuals.

At least until a particularly powerful demon had come through and told them in no uncertain terms that they were to stop using the demon realms as a place to dump their undesirables.

The fact that the foul creature had destroyed a number of fine, upstanding wizards to make sure its point had hammered in.

Still, the demons wouldn't have their attention roused by just a couple of individuals accidentally activating a device that sent them to the demon realms. And if they did, they could just point it out as being the work of that old fool Dumbledore. Yes, that could work, that could work very well.

But first, she had to find someone to deal with the little brat. Someone that wouldn't look too suspicious. Someone disposable. Someone…

And with that, she saw Henry Davis walking past her office with a wary looking teenaged girl following after him.

Someone like a little halfblood whose father happened to be in a particularly… precarious position.

Yes, that could work quite well.


"Why hello, dear," the sickenly sweet, and condescendingly familiar voice behind her, made Tracey Davis immediately stiffen up and slowly turn around to face the saccharine grin.

"Madame Umbridge," Tracey stated politely as she wished she could simply apperate away from the woman.

"Spending the day at work, supporting your father in this… difficult time?" Umbridge asked in that same voice. "How wonderfully thoughtful of you."

Tracey just looked back at her with her lips pressed tightly together, waiting and watching to see what the woman wanted.

When the girl said nothing, Umbridge nodded her head. "Ah, good, I see your father managed to instill some proper behavior into you after all."

Oh, how Tracey wanted to show this woman exactly how proper she was. But, still, it was silence as she forced down the swelling surge of disgusted rage that pounded through her heart. She knew exactly what kind of woman Delores Umbridge was, and there were too many people nearby that would stop her before she'd manage to permanently maim her.

"So many of your kind just don't know their place."

Then again, maybe they wouldn't even try.

Before she could put that thought into practice, Umbridge spoke up in a way that made her thoughts freeze. "Since you obviously do, perhaps you'd like to do me a bit of a favor. It could go quite a way with the situation your poor father has gotten himself into."

Tracey knew that the only situation her father was in, was one purely of people like Umbridge's making. People who were punishing her father for marrying a muggleborn and having a half blood like her as a daughter. Only Umbridge actually had enough pull to make it go away. So, she listened.

"You see, I need something delivered. To a classmate of yours as I recall. One of your kind in fact. Harry Potter." Delores stated with an overly sweet smile. "I'm sure it would help… alleviate your father's problems."

In response Tracey stared at her. She wasn't a fool. No, whatever she was being asked to deliver was something no doubt illegal and dangerous to Harry Potter. Especially with the current smear campaign that they had going on currently.

But, Harry Potter wasn't someone she really knew. He was a face she saw in class. Nothing more, nothing less.

One less face against her father's.

"Your magical oath that if I do it, my father is left alone." Tracey stated simply as she gave Umbridge a look.

Umbridge's face shriveled for a moment into a look of distaste, before she put on a forced smile again. "Now, really, dear. You wouldn't be questioning a witch of my standing on her word, now would you?"

"Isn't it the proper pureblood way to seal a deal that way?" Tracey countered back as she looked back at Umbridge, without flinching.

And that came upon the crux of the matter. It was out of fashion, yes, but it was still tradition. A tradition that was supposed to be among equals, of which Tracey was not. But, if she didn't, then she'd likely have trouble convincing another one like her to do the same, as the little wretch would spread word about it to others.

"Of course, dear. Why don't you step into my office and we'll work out the specifics." Umbridge asked, and watched as the girl stiffened her back, watching her with slightly narrowed eyes, but offered no protest.

It was less than an hour later that the girl was off. Enough sickles in her pocket for to and from the address on file for where the boy spent his summers. Fortunately there had been that incident two years ago where he'd turned one of those filthy muggles into a floating off balloon.

The girl knew the package would cause trouble for the boy. She probably even suspected it was something fatal. She had still been willing to follow through with it, just to save her foolish, mud-loving father.

If she wasn't a half blood trollop she was sure would be trying to tempt good, upstanding purebloods away from proper partners she might have even said the girl was admirable. Fortunately, she'd long since learned the truth of such little whores. When the girl was removed from the equation along with Potter, the wizarding world would be a better place.


Tracey took a slow deep breath as she stood in front of the door to Number 4 Privet Drive. She smoothed her skirt and blouse and steeled her nerves. She just had to deliver the package and leave. That was all.

So, she rang the bell and waited. When a horse faced woman answered it with a plastic smile, she could already feel a trickle of worry falling down her spine.

"Oh, hello, dear. Are you here to see Dudley?" The voice was as plastic as the smile with a fake brightness to it.

"I'm actually here to see Harry Potter." She stated as confidently as she could.

And instantly every false trace of politeness and decorum shattered as she openly scowled at her. "You're one of them, aren't you?"

"One of them, ma'am?" Tracey asked with a long practiced polite control. Bigotry was something she had long since accustomed herself to.

The woman's face was a sour pucker as she glared at the girl. "We don't stand for his sort! We are good, decent, normal people!"

Tracey was quite sure that all but the last were more than a slight stretch of the truth. Normal people, however, in her experience, tended to be quite bigoted, despite their declarations opposite it.

"I'm not exactly sure what you're referring to, ma'am." Tracey said, still keeping her face completely neutral. "Is there something in specific you're talking about?"

The woman's face twisted as she started to open her mouth to make a statement, then visibly thought better of it. Tracey had not made any confirmations either way. And if she declared the girl a witch, and she wasn't, not only would she have to deal with a potential scandal, but they would come after her for violating their laws.

"He's at the park." It wouldn't hurt her any to tell her where the boy was. And it would get the girl away from her home.

"Thank you, ma'am." Tracey stated again, perfectly politely as she bobbed her head and then walked way.

The park hadn't been particularly difficult for her to locate. Harry Potter wasn't either. He sat off to the side, staring out into nothing in particular on a bench.

Had Delores Umbridge gone with her first plan of dementors, it would have taken her an additional number of days to get the orders properly processed in a way that couldn't be tracked back to her. In that case, Harry would've found himself heckled by his cousin Dudley and friends. He also would've been under the not so watchful eye of Mundungus Fletcher.

Nymphadora Tonks frowned when she saw the somewhat familiar girl walking towards Harry Potter. Beneath the invisibility cloak, she began to move closer, as she muttered under her breath and cast a few discrete charms. The results made her eyes widen and her pace quicken.

The girl was definitely a witch. And she was carrying a magical artifact. Something her spell didn't immediately identify other than it was powerful.

This was not good.

"Potter." The girl's voice was not happy as she came to a stop in front of him.

Blinking in confusion, Harry looked up and his brows furrowed as he saw the girl. "Davis? What the…? What are you doing here?"

"I was told to give you this." She stated simply in a resigned, detached voice that sent a shiver down his spine as she pulled a box and opened it up.

And then, things started to happen.

"Harry! Get away from her!" A voice came out of nowhere as banishing spell tore the box out of Tracey's hands and sent it to the ground.

As soon as the spell hit, and the box moved, it began to glow. Harry was already on his feet. Tracey, her eyes widening was flinching back, falling in shock.

Reacting instinctively, he grabbed for Tracey, trying to pull her to her feet as his gut told him very bad things were going to happen because of the glow happening in the box. When he took hold of her, he felt someone grabbing hold of him.

Then the world exploded in a swirling vortex of energy and then went black. When it faded, there was nothing but an empty box and a bauble of gold and silver left behind.


Harry awoke with a groan, his head pounding and he reflexively tried to reach up and rub his face. He found he couldn't. A warm, soft, but firm object prevented him from doing so.

Forcing his eyes open, he turned his head and stared. He wasn't sure exactly how the hell he had ended up with Tracey Davis, unconscious and curled over his arm. Oh, wait, now he remembered.

When he tried to move his other arm, he found it too was trapped. Blinking slightly he turned to find another unconscious female unconscious atop of it. He vaguely remembered a woman's voice and someone trying to pull him away from whatever it was that had been in the box.

She was attractive. Dark hair, heart shaped face, soft full lips and creamy skin. And dressed in a pair of rather tight pants and a just as tight T-shirt.

This was… rather unexpected he admitted. And if he wasn't starting to lose feeling in his arms, he'd even say enjoyable As it was however…

"Um… Could you, ah… wake up?" Harry asked as he tried to wiggle a bit of freedom away from the girls.

No response.

Sighing, he fought down his blush as he starts to try and tickle his fingers into their sides. Tracey just shifted around a bit and quickly squashed his fingers down onto the floor. The other woman though, snorted, and shifted and squirmed.

Finally, a groggy voice spoke up. "'M up! Enough, Mum!"

As she sat up woozily, Harry's arm was finally freed enough for him to pull it back and start to shake the blood back into it. "Thank Merlin for that."

Once the tingling sensation has worn off, and with the mystery woman who'd tried to save him still waking up, he reached over and started to give a good, firm shake to Tracey's shoulder.

"Oi! Davis! Wake up so I can get my arm back!"

"Wu…?" Blearily, Tracey's eyes opened and she then looked at him for a long, blank moment, before recognition finally flashed across her eyes. "Potter?"

"Yes. Can you please get off my arm now?" Harry agreed with a nod of his head as he wiggled his fingers against her side for emphasis.

"Wot?! Ah!" Tracey practically jumped away, her eyes flashing wide and incredulous as she stared back at him. "I… But! … I'm… we're alive?"

Harry immediately frowned at that and gave her a look. "… Yes? Were we not supposed to be?"

"… I didn't think we would be." Tracey admitted as she shrugged her shoulders just a bit, staring at him in bewilderment. "I was pretty sure whatever that was would kill us both."

"Why were you trying to kill Harry?" The woman Harry still didn't know demanded, now holding a wand pointedly at Tracey.

"… Who're you?" Tracey asked as she stared at the woman in confusion.

"Auror Tonks!" The woman stated as she glared back at Tracey. "And answer the question!"

"I wasn't trying to kill him." Tracey stated simply as she crossed her arms about her chest and then glanced away. "I just didn't expect either of us to survive. And why were you trying to stop me? I thought aurors would've been looking the other way?"

"… Wot?" Harry asked, staring at Tracey with wide eyes. "But… why?"

"The Minister's Under Secretary gave me it to give to you." Tracey stated simply.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Harry asked in confusion as Tonks' winced.

"What? Have you been living under a rock, Potter? The minister's been doing everything short of dumping you in a pot of tar and then throwing you in a pile of feathers himself." Tracey stated simply, now looking back at Harry with an incredulous stare. "He wants you vanished."

"You and Dumbledore." Tonks admitted. "Dumbledore had me watching you just incase anything happened."

"My da is in trouble. When he married my mum, he lost a lot of standing because she was a muggleborn. Even when she died, me being around cost him a lot. And when things went down…" Tracey shrugged a bit. "I made a deal. I deliver whatever that was and my da's problems went away. Since I figured I'd not be around, that'd make things easier for him."

Harry stared at her, then looked back at Tonks. "How come no one told me about this?"

"Well, with everything happening…" Tonks trailed off before blushing slightly. "Um, sorry?"

With a hot look, Harry glared at her before looking back at Tracey. "So, because I said what happened, someone wanted to kill me?"

Tracey just shrugged. "All I know is that Umbridge wanted you gone."

Slowly she looked around and then frowned at where they found themselves. "And I think she might've succeeded."

It was then that Harry finally took notice of their surroundings. It looked vaguely like the classrooms he remembered being in when he was still attending muggle primary. Only, it appeared exaggeratedly sinister, almost comically so.

"… Where are we?" Harry asked as he looked around with a frown.

"I don't know." Tonks admitted as she gripped her wand and slowly looked around herself. "But, knowing Umbridge, nowhere good."

"Imagine that," Tracey stated sarcastically as she shook her head and sighed, shoulders slumping. "Maybe we're all dead and this is someone's twisted idea of hell."

It was then that the door to the classroom slid open allowing 3 female figures to enter. The first, and shortest of them had brightly colored pink hair, a black and white school uniform, and a massive set of horns coming out of either side of her head. "Ah, the sweet smell of delinquency! I… What!?"

The girl like creature stared at the three figures in the middle of the room, and then pointed a finger accusingly. "Whaaaaaaa?! Have the awesome ways of delinquency finally begun to spread?! More followers of love and justice!"

"It could be, my lady!" One of the girls behind her, wearing a mask and what Harry and the girls could only describe as a sexed up version of a ninja outfit.

"Indeed, your hard work is finally starting to pay off!" the second, dressed in something that made Harry think of samurai, but not quite, agreed.

"Mwahaha!" Putting her hands on her hips. "Take that, Mao! Soon delinquency will spread to all of Evil Academy!"

Harry blinked at that, and couldn't help but blurt out, "Evil Academy!?"

That brought the girl with horns up short as she frowned, leaning forward, "Yup! What kind of demons are you? Everyone knows about Evil Academy!"

Harry blinked. Tracey and Tonks both paled.

"…Demons?" Tracey said aloud, her eyes wide. "She… she threw us to demons?!"

"Waaaaait a minute." The girl drew out as she stared at the three of them, before suddenly pointing a finger at them. "You're not demons! You're humans!"

"Ok, this is bad." Tonks muttered as she tightened her grip on her wand and stared fearfully at the demon girl.

"This is so cool!" the demon girl suddenly proclaimed. "Now I can be even more of a delinquent! Hanging out with humans, protecting them, this will be so great! You've even got such cool titles!"

"… Titles?" Harry asked, looking completely and totally lost, and even more confused at why Tonks and Tracey looked so terrified. He knew demons were supposed to be bad and everything, but… they were just a group of school girls, right?

"Yup!" She pointed her finger declaratively at him. "Chosen One!" Then she moved her finger to Tonks. "Auror!" Then her finger moved to Tracey. "Dupe!"

Tracey growled slightly at that declaration, but didn't dispute it. Harry's face fell into stormy clouds at the statement. Tonks just shrugged and explained. "It means bobby, police."

The girl's eyes suddenly grow a size and shone like stars as she looked at Tonks with absolute adoration. "So… So… So COOOOOOOL!"

And with that, the little demon girl began to squeal happily. Harry stared. Tracey stared. Tonks, however could feel a major headache building. This, was not going to be good.