Title: A Thousand Year War

Summary: Temari was a pretty average girl, until she stumbles upon a secret that is hidden from the entire normal world, and meets up with a man nearly a thousand years old. Now she is hell-bent on helping him and his kind. Who said age doesn't matter? ShikaTema!

Author: Bibliophile Nincompoop


Life on the planet is born of woman.

~Adrienne Rich


Chapter 1: Pinky and the Brain

Beep Beep Beep

A young woman bolted from her bed, thinking she was late to work, yet again… But to her surprise and even more so annoyance, it was the irritating old trash man outside her apartment building. It seemed like he purposely made more noise than needed. She rubbed her arms, her breath came in a puff of steam, it was freezing! She quickly dashed to her thermostat.

"Stupid thing isn't working again." She growled.

She opened the thermostat and tapped the tube of mercury, instantly the heater was on. She had learned from the maintenance man about all the quirks she lived with. Basically every appliance that came with her crappy apartment didn't work properly or at all. She actually had to kick the dishwasher, bang on the oven, oh she didn't even want to thing about the washing machine. A jingle sounded from her room "Who the hell is calling so early?"

She picked up her old brick of a phone, hey not everyone has money flying out the wah zu, and flipped the monstrosity open. "Hello?"

"Hey Temari!" came the voice, a little to cheery for Temari to handle. She could hold the phone a foot away from her ear and still hear her friends squealing voice, "You will never believe who called me this morning!"

"Sakura… do you know what time it is?" Temari said while rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Don't beat around the question!"


"Piggy! She called and was like Oh my god…" all Temari heard was blah blah blah, slut this and slut that. "I can't believe she had the audacity! Errr!"

"Ino called?" Temari asked, making herself a cup of tea.

"WHAT!" Sakura screamed, "You weren't listening to me!" Temari's mug shattered upon hitting her kitchen floor. Well at least she had a sip…

"If Ino called I really don't care." Temari said with a little too much emotion in her voice.

Sakura sighed, but decided it was best not to bring up old memories. "Hey Temmy Bear, you want to meet up for coffee before work?"

"I need a new nickname." Temari grunted, but laughed gently. "Sure I will meet you there in a hour."

"Ok, love you sweetie!" Sakura said in a sickening sugary voice.

"Uh huh, bye."


Temari closed her phone chucking it on the bed, and headed to the bathroom to take a long hot shower.


Wiping of the steam from her small medicine cabinet mirror, Temari looked at her reflection. Short blonde hair, critical eyes, and a lopsided frown. She was pretty, not head turning, not knock you off your feet gorgeous, just regular plain Jane pretty. But she was never one to care about her appearance.

Temari brushed through her thick unruly rat nest of hair, making it completely straight. She slipped on a pair of skinny jeans, black high tops, and dingy paint smeared black shirt.

She walked down the twenty-third Street, the air is thick with pollution, and it smells like hot dogs and rain. Taxi cabs zoomed up and down the streets, they thought of the speed limit as a suggestion not a rule, not like they follow any rules of the road. Temari surveyed all the shop oweners opening up; they never said hello. People in New York are either all talk or all business. Unless talking is their business. There was only one person who actually said hello to her, and that was crazy Carl, who said God spoke through him. Carl was out there like every morning standing on an Florida Orange's box, holding up his cardboard, which the saying for today is... 'The Angel of Death is coming'. Very nice. Carl waved, and she waved back as she turned the corner onto eight street. There was a small brewery there, a little hole in the wall place, that was usually only visited by locals.

Temari opened the door and scanned the room until she saw her pink haired friend. She walked over and sat down. "Good morning Pinky."

"You too Brain." She giggled, "Gee Brain what are we going to do tonight?"

"The same thing we do every night, try to take over the world!"

"Narf!" The girls giggled together. Sakura straightened up, "We need to stop doing that."

Temari scoffed obviously not caring about the looks they were receiving, "But I love Pinky and the Brain, and it suits us so well!"

Sakura rolled her eyes, "Maybe you, but not me. I am not insane."

The door jingled and a very tall well built man wearing all black entered. Sakura's jaw fell to the ground and rushed beside him. Temari herself even had to admit he was pretty yummy looking.

"Not insane, huh?" Temari mused, resting he face on her hand. Sakura had convinced the man to come sit with them.

"Temari, this is Sasuke. Sasuke this is Temari." Sakura giggled, lipped the words sexy, and sat down.

"So ladies, what occupation are you two into?" Sasuke gave a tight lipped smirk, that Temari bet all the girls went mushy at. He was very yummy, dark black spiked hair, with piercing onyx gaze. But he looked like he wanted to leave, not really wanting to deal with the female sex.

"I am a model." Sakura crossed her arms making her chest look larger, Temari practically gagged. "And Temari here is an artist and repairs old paintings."

Sasuke looked at Temari actually amused. But then again Temari wasn't most girls. "Really that sounds fascinating."

Temari looked at Sakura's hurt expression and sighed. "Not really, I am under appreciated, and paid poorly. But Sakura's line of business is the real sensational one though."

"What company do you work for?" Sasuke tilted his head at the pink haired girl.

Sakura blushed, twisting the short hair around her finger, "Victoria's Secret, but right now I am having Temari do a painting of me."

"Cool." He said and gave her body a second looking over.

A waiter came over; he was a cutie pie too. Blonde hair, blue eyes, tall, with a brilliant smile. He laughed lightly scratching the back of his head, "Hey, I knew I heard the Pinky and the Brain theme song."

"Shhh! Naruto! Why do you have to be so embarrassing!" Sakura covered her face with her hands.

Temari chuckled lightly, "Hi Naruto.

"Eh its been alright." He had a big grin plastered to his face. "You guys want somethin'?"

"Yeah, you can." Sasuke said curtly, and Temari gave him a disgusted look. "Coffee, decaf, and don't screw it up."

Naruto's smile disappeared, and his eyes boar into the table.

"Naruto, I will have my frap." She giggled, while ogling Sasuke.

Temari was furious! Not only at the fact that Sasuke had said that, but Sakura didn't even stick up for Naruto!

"I will have my green tea, and I hope you hock a lugie in his decaf." Temari said glaring at Sasuke.

Naruto smiled, and Sasuke looked up astonished. "I will be right back with your orders."

"What did you just say?" He was just another disgusting pig.

"What you didn't comprehend the first time I said it?" she raised her eyebrow at him, "Oh sorry thats right. The pretty ones are always lacking in the intelligence department."

"Temari! Stop it!" Sakura wailed. Temari glared at Sakura, and shook her head.

Naruto came back swiftly, and dropped off their orders. "I hope you guys enjoy it."

Temari watched Sasuke inspect his coffee. "Don't worry, Naruto would never do something like that. No matter how mad he is."

Sasuke scoffed and took a sip, the coffee was perfect.

"See you all later, Sakura ditch the ass." And with that, she left the brewery with her drink.


Temari went into the art gallery, where her boss Sai was waiting, gazing intently at his watch.

"Damn. I was looking forward to firing you." He looked up with a big tight lipped smile.

"Gee thanks, I'll be in the back finishing Mrs. Aburmanes request." Temari said, Sai nodded, and shooed her away.

"Stupid girl is going to be the death of me." He said and patted his forehead.


Ok this is a re-write of I-Saw-Hitler's story. We originally came up with this and I had the basic outline and we worked together on catchy phrases and she did the rest. Well, she is on hiatus with college and so forth, so I am taking it back up. For the first four chapters all I am doing is a basic rewrite, and more detailed plot.