Title: Mr. Right

Summary: Roy's a whore and Riza just wants to settle down. To bad her mister right is still a kid.

Parings: EdxRiza, and other malesxRoy

Warnings: Crackish, het sex, yaoi, affair's

Rating: T

Notes: For my bestfriend Bettie, who claims their aren't enough EdxRiza fics out there. An early gift for her 19th birthday.

She shut the door with a deep sigh, what a horrible date. Lately she'd been thinking of settling down, finding a long-term boyfriend. So far that was not working out. She seemed to run into a slew of problems when selecting a potential mate. Either she was too intimidating, the rumor going around Central that she was a lesbian (Havoc paid for that one). But, mainly, it was the man who was the problem. For example, her failed date with Adam Blantly. He seemed nice, he was a construction worker building the new gym at the military base. On her coffee break they ended up talking and he seemed to be intelligent, oh how wrong she was. That's what really is deceiving about dating, everyone lies. All night long he talked about himself and never let her get a word in. Not to mention he was practically picking up other women while their date slowly rolled on. But, what put the nail in the coffin was, when he asked about her cute brunette co-worker. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry that her date was hitting on her boss, her male boss.

Black Hayate was sniffing at her feet disapprovingly. She knew he wasn't happy about her dating. He'd cry when ever she'd leave and go on a mad terror while she was gone. She was about to get ready to whine down when her doorbell rang. Edward stood their with a grin and his camera in hand. "Edward?" She murmured out as his smile grew.

"Riza! You gotta hear this!"


Ed took in a deep breath and pulled out his camera. "I caught Mustang in the act!"

"The act?" She said confused.

"You know, the dirty deed, the horizontal tango, playing scrabble, the old in and ou...."

Riza slapped a hand over his mouth and nodded her head. "Yes, I get it! Can you just move on with your story."

"I caught Mustang with Hakuro!" He yelled out throwing his hands up in the air.

Riza gasped. "That disgusting!" She didn't want to think about her boss having sex with anyone, especially a middle-aged man with a family! "Are you sure?"

Ed nodded and showed her his picture. Her face cringed an then she promptly turned away. "Well, I always knew that bastard was a slut!" Ed rubbed his hands together and laughed evilly. "He'll never be able to call me short again!"

"What if it doesn't work?"

"I've got pictures of him out with five other guys this week!"

She sighed, she really needed to talk to Roy. It was one thing to be a tramp, another for dating a married man, another for switching from women to men in the blink of an eye. "Well, at least Roy is having a good time." She said as she invited Ed into her house.

"What's wrong Riza?"

"My date was a traumatic experience."

Ed looked at her. How come she couldn't find a good guy. She was smart, beautiful, strong, a real catch. He blushed, thinking all of these things about the sharp shooter. She would never be interested in a guy like him, he was a country boy and she was a classy lady. "What happened?"

"He was just a jerk Edward."

Ed paused and flipped through his pictures. "What did he look like?"

"Tall, brown hair, green eyes, why." She saw him riffle through his Mustang photo's a pulled one out of the stack.

"Would this be him by any chance."

She gasped as she saw her date with Roy Mustang, smiling like a fool. She had thought he was totally straight! "What!" That was all she could manage to say. Was she becoming the new Havoc?

Ed snorted a patted her lightly on the shoulder. "He's to good for you, he's obviously got bad taste." He looked at her, right into her amber eyes. "You deserve someone wonderful Hawkeye,"

She blushed and smiled. "Thanks Ed." She paused and coughed into her hand. "Edward would you be interested in having lunch with me tomorrow?" She give it a shot, he was turning eighteen in a month.

"Really?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Yeah, sure, that'd be great!"

It was hours later and Ed had left. She found empowered, she had a possibility on the horizon. But, first she had to keep her boss in check. She figure she better give him a call and a good talking to. She dialed the phone and listened to it ring.

"Hello." A deep voice answered.

"Roy, it's Riza, we need to talk."

"About what?" Before she could say another word Roy was talking to someone else. "I told you not right now! I'm on the phone!"

She waited for a few seconds until the commotion calmed down. "We need to talk about you and your love life."


"A reliable source said they saw you with General Hakuro in a...intimate fashion."

"That little bastard." Roy seethed out.

"Sir, you can't blame him, your the one fooling around with a married man. Not to mention several other men."

"I'm just looking for someone right Riza."

"Bullshit sir." Riza said bluntly. "Just keep your love life out of the office. You don't want to compromise your push for F├╝hrer.

"Your right Hawkeye, I was not thinking correctly. I'll see you on Monday." He cut off the phone call quickly. She smiled inspite of the unpleasant conversation, she was looking forward to Monday for once.

A/N: First off I love Roy Mustang (especially with other men) I thought it would make it funny if he actually was the way people gossiped about. Please read and review, if I get some I'll continue.