Hello all =)
Firstly, the disclaimer : I don't own pokemon, but I wish I did
Now this is just about the Pokemon, no humans whatsoever. Kinda like a Pikachu short only no real plot.
It's just random… you know, Ash and Misty's Pokemon (and Brock's Vulpix) chilling out, talking
And yes, I know there are 7 of Ash and Misty's pokemon not 6, but well, it's a fanfic! And I always thought 6 pokemon was too less =(
I've invented some of my own pokemon pairings, which are NOT in the anime, just for fun (I was bored) so if they bug you, then I'm sorry, but don't read. But seriously, these pokemon must have some chemistry between 'em right, so I invented some myself… mwahaha
And I've changed/given genders to some pokemon too. Basically
Males – Pikachu, Bulbasaur, Squirtle, Charizard, Psyduck, Staryu, Totodile, Articuno, Zapdos
Females – Bayleef, Gyarados, Moltres, Corsola, Starmie, Vulpix, Cyndaquil
And um… I kinda made Bulbasaur a homophobe … just for fun, I don't think there is anything wrong in being gay, homophobe or anything…=) and he also a – um – well I guess you could call it 'typophobe' like he's scared about being romantically involved with another 'type' pokemon… crazy, I know
Pokeshipping is only mentioned in this, as is frostfireshipping. Also some of my own pairings, and obscure references to chikoshipping, generatorshipping and teamshipping are included.
so sorry if this offends anyone, but im feeling a bit spazzy at the moment ;)
It was another beautiful day in Johto; the island was secluded, the sun was shining, the water sparkling – perfect for Ash, Misty and Brock to train their pokémon… but only Brock seemed to be training.
"Alright, Geodude, now rock smash that boulder!"
"Great, now Vulpix, let's see some flames – the strongest flamethrower you can muster, melt that rock!"
"Great job! Now Onix, I want you to-"
Well, it seems only Brock (who wasn't even a trainer, but a breeder) was training… as for Ash and Misty – wait, where are Ash and Misty? Hey, there's Pikachu.
"Pika chuuuu…" Pikachu darted out of the tent looking rather annoyed, towards the crowd of Ash and Misty's now abandoned pokémon and pokéballs.
"Squirtle squirt?" What's up Pikachu?
"Pikapi pi pikachupi - pika pika!" Ash and Misty are- you know!
"Saur bulba bulba saur! Bulbasaur bulba saur saur!" They're at it again! Ash won't stop that to train us for ages…
"Squirt squirt squirtle squirtle squirtle squirt squirtle squirtle!" So now shoving his tongue down Misty's throat is more important to Ash than training is pokémon, huh?
"Pika pi…" Seemed like it!
"Bulba saur, bulba bulba saur! Bulba saur!" Don't be so vulgar, Squirt! Let 'em have fun!
(A/N: Okay now, the pokémon talk is annoying me, so I'll just translate!)
Squirtle smirked. "I ain't bein' vulgar, it's what they do! Duuude, human mating rituals are sooo weird!"
"Well it's better than the denial rubbish they've been feeding us for the past few years…" Bulbasaur said.
"Yeah, I'm really happy for them and all, but sometimes, I wish they could control themselves a bit… especially with Togepi around." Pikachu sighed. "Some of that mating stuff is just inappropriate for a baby…"
"What I don't get is why they fight so much if they're in love!" Squirtle said. "They're always screamin' into each other's faces!"
"It's called sexual tension." Bulbasaur said wisely. "Fighting is just another way for 'em to show their raging emotions and get physical."
"Like you and Bayleef…" Charizard said, apparantly waking up from his nap.
(A/N : Yes, okay, so I decided to make them an item. I know it's totally NOT in the anime, but I don't care much for May's Bulbasaur or that Gloom, so I decided on Bayleef. And yes I know she's evolved and much bigger than him but whatever… =S Just thought they'd be cute since they're both grass type starters and I love em both!)
Bulbasaur glared at him, his bulb glowing. "Shut up! It's nothin' like that!"
"Well, you said Ash and Misty fight because they like each other. Does that mean there is something behind all that vinewhippin' going on between you two as well?" Charizard smirked.
"Shut up, Charizard, or I swear I'll-"
"What?" Charizard asked smugly, opening a lazy eye. "Solarbeam me, vine whip me… your lame attacks don't harm me at all. And you know you don't have the guts, one ember from me and you're toasted Bulbasaur. Don't even try threatening me with your little grassy moves…"
Bulbasaur growled. "You think you're so smart and cool just 'cus you evolved, you stupid lizard!"
Charizard smirked again, puffing out a small blast of smoke at Bulbasaur, who jumped back. "I don't think it, I know it. I am evolved, therefore stronger and more mature. You and Squirtle are naïve to not have done it…"
Bulbasaur scowled at him and turned to Squirtle. "I liked him so much more as a Charmander. Charmander was sweet. This guy's an $$&*!#."
"Don't abuse in front of Togepi!" Pikachu hissed, as Togepi had merrily waddled up to join the conversation.
Squirtle nodded. "Dude, promise me, you'll never evolve – I don't think I will, if it makes you so weird and priggish. Hear that, Charizard, yer a prig! Ash doesn't even like you!"
"Ash adores me, he just know he can't boss me 'round like he can to you twits. I am his strongest pokémon you know…"
"Hey, that's me, not you!" Pikachu yelled, sparks now coming out of his cheeks.
"I said strongest, not favorite, pikapal… and I don't think you're setting a very good example for darling Togepi… and –" Charizard stopped mid-sentence and watched lazily, as Misty's Gyarados emerged from the nearby lake, dripping with water.
"Hey baby, want me to warm ya up?"
(A/N – okay another weird pairing, I know… I was bored. But honestly, these pokemon couldn't all be good little creatures who think only of battling, right?!)
Gyarados turned to him, her eyes narrowed. "Lay off, one hydro pump from me and you're flame is dowsed… it's too big for your own good anyway, you arrogant #$%*&..." she growled.
"Her temper's kinda like Misty's!" Pikachu whispered to Squirtle and Bulbasaur.
Charizard however seemed unaffected by these potentially dangerous threats.
"Aw come on, I'm sizzlin' hot, you can't deny it. How 'bout I heat things up with some flamethrower…" he winked suggestively.
"And he's as dense as master Ash…" Squirtle whispered back.
"How 'bout I cool things down with an ice beam? Or hyper beam? Or thunder? And I can do dragon rage too. You see, I don't just do one kind of attack, I specialise in all types, unlike some moronic losers." Gyarados countered smugly, glowing in preparation for some lethal attack.
Charizard gulped. "I was jokin'… Mew, you're such a senstitive female-"
"Stupid!" Bulbasaur said, shaking his head.
At that moment, Gyarados roared ferociously and unleashed a huge beam of bright light. Charizard dodged the beam by flying into the sky. Gyarados leaped back into the water, disappearing in the depths of the fiery lake, and the hyper beam exploded in the sky. As the smoke cleared, Charizard landed on the ground with a thump, eyes blazing.
"D'you have a death wish Charizard?" Pikachu asked.
"It's so hot when she gets mad and attacks like that… it turns me on…" Charizard replied smoothly, and then rolled around to go back to sleep. "I'm gonna have some nice dreams now, oh yes…"
"Wonder what he dreams about" Togepi piped up innocently.
"You don't wanna know!" Pikachu cut in hastily before Squirtle could open his mouth to say something sick.
"You know… at least I was smart enough to pick someone of my own type." Bulbasaur drawled, looking rather satisfied at Charizard's rejection. (Not that it mattered, Gyarados had rejected Charizard at least ten other times – though no one knew what happened at night when the rest of the pokémon were in their pokéballs….). "I just love watchin' him get whipped. If it was Charmander, I'd feel bad, but Gyardos was right – this guy's flame is just too big…"
"What's wrong if she's not his type. They're both dragon-type…" Pikachu pointed out.
"Yeah, only I think it's a bit stupid he should fall for someone whose naturally so much stronger than him. I mean she's water, he's fire. Water douses fire. What was he thinkin'? He's gonna get soaked if they ever try matin'!" Squirtle snickered.
"What is mating?" Togepi trilled innocently.
"Uh – a type of battling – between male and female pokémon…" Pikachu said uncomfortably, glaring at Squirtle.
"I'd love that kinda battle!" Squirtle said. "Sounds more fun than normal battling…"
"Shut up!" Bulbasaur growled.
"You know, it's kinda like Misty and Ash again, she's much stronger than him too…" Pikachu said thoughtfully.
"Can't believe they're still makin' out, that hyper beam shoulda distracted 'em!" Squirtle grumbled.
"What's making out mean?" asked Togepi cheerfully.
Pikachu refused to reply to this enquiry, and Squirtle continued. "I'm gettin' bored. Let's battle without 'em! Bulbasaur, I challenge ya! Or Pikachu!"
"That's dumb, ya know we can both beat'cha easy, we both have the advantage over water!" Bulbasaur snorted.
"Oooh, me! Battle me! Please, I've never battled! I really wanna!" Togepi trilled! "Maybe we could do that cool mating thing too! Please pick me!"
Pikachu and Bulbasaur sweatdropped.
"Uh, you're too young… maybe when you're older sweetie" Squirtle said uncomfortably.
"Don't even think about it!" Pikachu snarled, cheeks sparking.
"Dude, chill, I meant battling not mating! Not that I'd mind mating, maybe after she evolves-"
Pikachu jolted Squirtle rather harshly. "Ow, hey! Was kiddin' sorry!" Squirtle scowled.
"I'll battle you…" Starmie said, spinning out of the water and showering sparkling droplets everywhere.
"Sure, yeah…" Squirtle grinned, pulling out his sunglasses. "Come on babe, bring it on."
"I thought you wanted to battle, not flirt." Starmie said rather straightforwardly, as Squirtle facefell.
"See now, Squirt she's a good choice, she's your type." Bulbasaur said approvingly.
"What's with the same-type obsession Bulbasaur? You don't have to mate someone whose the same type as you..." Starmie asked suddenly.
"Bulbasaur's a homo-" Squirtle muttered.
"Shut up, or I'll razor leaf ya! And ya know it'll hurt!" Bulbasaur threatened.
"No, actually I wonder too. Is it just 'cus you have a crush on Bayleef right now?" Pikachu asked curiously.
"I don't and no! It's 'cus I think that it's just plain wrong and disgusting and gross to mate with someone of another type, I mean think about the babies! And even otherwise, it's plain sick, evil, wrong, illegal, breaks the laws of nature and –" Bulbasaur rambled on.
"The babies wouldn't be so bad. I mean if you cross ice and fire, you'd get water or something right?" Starmie asked.
"Nah, I don't think that's how it works…" Squirtle said shaking his head.
"Maybe you get dual types, like ice and fire… that'd be awesome, powerful against everything…" Pikachu said. "Like a water/electric or dark/psychic pokémon…"
"I'm a water pokémon but I know an electric move! Misty taught me thunder!" Starmie said proudly.
"I still think it's wrong and disgusting!" Bulbasaur said stubbornly.
"Nah, you didn't think like that at Shamouti, now did ya? You thought that Moltres was sizzling hot!" Squirtle countered.
"Aw come on…" Bulbasaur grumbled. "That doesn't count! She was a legendary, she was hot, super hot… sexy.. . but waaay out of my league… and that was a crush, I'd never mate her, I mean she's a bird, and she's fire, she'd toast me!"
"Not to mention she wouldn't want to mate you!" Starmie added rather scathingly.
"Legendaries are fun to fantasize about though, 'cus they're so strong and beautiful…" Bulbasaur said.
"You hypocrite!" Squirtle exclaimed. "I mean I agree with you, but you're the one who said same-type only! Last time I looked, Moltres was fire not grass!"
"Aw lay off… Charizard was the one who fantasized about her not me! He had total hots for her, yeah he did! Told me he dreamt about her an-"
"What?!" Gyarados growled dangerously, surfacing at that opportune moment.
"Wh-What?!" Charizard stammered, choosing to wake up again. "You stupid plant! You're not even an animal! Can't you shut up! I'm never telling you anything again!"
Gyarados glared at Charizard, eyes blazing dangerously. "You liar," she snarled. "You said I was the only one you ever fell for!"
"Looks like someone's jealous!" Pikachu murmured, surprised.
"Does she even know about Charla?" Squirtle whispered.
"Apparently not, and I don't think we should tell her!" Pikachu whispered back, shaking his head.
"I-I hadn't meet you then! I didn't know you existed! A-and she was le-legendary, come on, who doesn't dream about legendaries!!!" Charizard sputtered desperately, his flame wavering.
"Legendary! You're pathetic!" Gyarados snarled, advancing menacingly.
"B-but I didn't know you! And you-you're much more beautiful and strong, I swear!" Charizard backed away nervously.
"Liar!" she snarled again.
"Re-really! You c-can do lots of cooler attacks a-and water is stronger th-than fire… oh shit, water is stronger than fire! "
"Dude, he's sooo screwed!" Squirtle whispered.
"You're screwed – I'm gonna soak ya, Charizard!" Gyarados hissed.
"Ooh, he's gonna get hydro pumped!" Bulbasaur said gleefully, as the others watched on in fascination.
Charizard, in all his manliness, spread his wings and flew off immediately.
"Cowardly #$&*^!" Gyarados growled. "#^$%!$ loser! Take that flame and shove it up your $$!"
Pikachu covered Togepi's ears from Gyarados's profanity.
"What a wimp! You're gonna hydro pump him, aren't ya Gyarados!" Bulbasaur asked eagerly.
Gyarados looked slightly bored. "Nah, I'll just water gun him later… it was before he met me anyways…" She splashed back underwater.
"That was fun to watch!" Starmie said finally. "She's been real moody off late. Ya think it's that time of the month? Or maybe she's pregnant?"
"A Magikarp that can use flamethrower…ugh…" Bulbasaur screwed up his face in disgust.
"Nah, don't think Charizard's got that far yet…" Pikachu said.
"How'd you know?" asked Squirtle curiously.
"I'm never in my pokéball at night, I usually know if anything's goin' on…" Pikachu replied.
"Ooh what happens at night?" Togepi chirped. "Is it that mating thing?"
Pikachu gulped. "Why don't you go – um – go find Misty?"
Togepi agreed and trotted off happily.
"No!" Starmie cried. "She's with Ash, you don't know what they're doing! You don't want Togepi scarred for life at such a tender age, do you Pikachu? Walking in on her mommy and daddy -"
"Ho-oh, no! Togepi WAIT!!!" Pikachu bounded off to distract Togepi.
"You know, Bulbasaur, that Moltres was really hot, I don't blame ya, buddy…" Squirtle said after a while.
"Yeah, whatever, she's with that Articuno, I think…lucky bird…" Starmie sighed. "Oh, Articuno!" she continued breathlessly. "He was so beautiful…"
"Sheesh! He was just a stupid girly gay bird, that's all!" Squirtle said, annoyed.
"No, he was the most gorgeous bird ever! That sparkling tail! Those wings! Ah, he was divine… he was so cold and mysterious… oh and that ice beam had to be the sexiest attack ever….." Starmie rambled on dreamily.
"I liked Moltres's flamethrower better, thanks. Much hotter." Squirtle said, rather bitterly.
"Fire and ice. They were a beautiful couple, those legendaries…" Starmie sighed.
"What?! A couple! They couldn't have been, they were tryin' to kill each other!" Bulbasaur said in surprise.
"Don't Ash and Misty try to kill each other often?" Starmie answered.
"Yeah, but that was serious, dangerous stuff happening there! I mean, if Lugia hadn't intervened, someone woulda actually died!"
"Wasn't too dangerous, they were legendaries, all that stuff woulda killed us maybe, not powerful pokémon like them… they just faint, is all…" Squirtle piped up.
"I still think they were soooo amazing and perfect together…. fire and ice…." Starmie mused.
"But what about Zapdos? And Lugia? And the prophecy and Ash and everything? And that's not what Zapdos told Pikachu, he said he wanted to take over Moltres's island… why, I mean why would he fight with Moltres? Over Articuno? He wasn't gay, was he! That's gross! Please don't tell me, Zapdos, a legendary was gay!" Bulbasuar exclaimed, hyperventilating.
"Aw shut up, Zapdos wasn't gay. And the story Pikachu and Meowth told everyone wasn't real! They made that up 'cus Zapdos said he'd zap Pikachu if he told any humans the truth. So that's why all the humans think it was just an ego clash – it was somethin' waaay more than that, trust me. Those legendaries had one screwed up love triangle…" Squirtle said, and Starmie nodded.
"Legendary love triangle! What?!" shouted Bulbasaur in shock.
"Oh yeah, you weren't there when Pikachu told us. You were romping around with Bayleef – I mean Chikorita at that time - somewhere…" Starmie said reminiscently.
"I wanna know about this!" Bulbasaur screeched.
"I thought you weren't so keen on cross-type mating, thought it was disgusting…" Squirtle said.
"Yeah, but these are legendaries, who cares, its HOT!" Bulbasaur exclaimed.
"Don't let darling Bayleef hear that!" Gyarados growled, resurfacing and resting her large head next to Starmie, who leaped on. "What's with you pokémon and legendaries, anyways. They're not so great! Just 'cus they're powerful and rare! I'm powerful and rare, I'm practically a legendary!"
"Don't worry about Charizard, he's an idiot!" Starmie said soothingly, as Gyarados raged on in obvious jealousy.
"Yeah right, you evolve from Magikarp!" Bulbasaur sniggered. "Splash splash!"
"I can do flamethrower too, you know!" Gyarados snarled.
"Sorry! Heck yeah, you're a dragon, you could totally be legendary! And you're strong!" Bulbasaur replied immediately, shrinking back.
"Stupid bulb. You're not even a frickin' animal, you're a plant." Gyarados retorted.
Bulbasaur's bulb glowed immediately.
"Dude, are you crazy, she nearly killed Charizard, she can hyper beam ya! Lay off it, buddy!" Squirtle exclaimed. Bulbasaur wisely took his advice.
"You're real mean, Gyarados." Bulbasaur whimpered. "I am an animal, too!"
Gyarados snorted. "Cool it, I'm not attackin' you… I'm conserving my energy for that insensitive, pompous lizard…"
"Anyway, you wanna hear the story or not!" Squirtle asked. Gyarados and Bulbasaur nodded, and Staryu, Corsola, Politoad, Cyndaquil, Totodile and Bayleef popped out of their pokéballs to listen. They crowded around Squirtle, making themselves comfortable.
Bulbasaur immediately edged closer to Bayleef, who was at the time too interested in hearing the story to realise. Totodile was jumping around excitedly.
"But no tellin' our master, okay. Legendaries made Pikachu swear, and we can't go against 'em."
"Okay!" Squirtle announced. "And Toto, stop dancin' you're distractin' me!"
Totodile however to was too excited to control himself.
"I'll control him…" said Bayleef exasperatedly, as she wrapped her vines around Totodile to restrict his movement. Bulbasaur glared at Totodile, and considered dancing himself, but decided against it. Totodile was just a stupid, hyper crocodile. And he was water. Water was weak against grass anyways…
Squirtle commenced his tale, the pokémon listening in rapt attention. (A/N : I love pokemon 2000, its my all time favorite… so please excuse me if I've twisted the plot a bit ;D )
"Well, when we visited Shamouti Islands, Articuno, Moltres and Zapdos were about 18 years old. Well actually, they were hundreds of years old, but for a legendary, they were about 18 years old. Excited, hormonal and crazy. Moltres, was a beautiful fiery female. Articuno was an icy cool male. And Zapdos was a male, and no he wasn't gay Bulbasaur!
Anyways, they got along well till then you know, best friends. They had occasional battles, just for fun, nothing life-threatening or world-threatening… though their attacks woulda screwed us! Then finally, as they grew up, some stuff happened. Really bad stuff. At that time, they were in a big mess… Zapdos told us the whole story…
See, when they were about 16, Articuno and Moltres started havin' this thing for each other. Like a huuuuge 'thing'. Not a crush, more than that. Maybe love, maybe lust, I dunno. Only Zapdos, he had a thing for Moltres too… sucks, 'cus there were only three of 'em so someone had to be left out-"
"There shoulda been a grass type bird too-" Bulbasaur cut in.
"Dude, shush! Anyways, Zapdos liked Moltres too. And Articuno and Moltres apparently knew this. So, since they didn't wanna anger Zapdos, and disturb the harmony of fire, ice and lightning and cause world destruction and what not…. they kept it a secret. They had an affair."
The pokémon gasped collectively, even the ones who already knew the story. Legendary gossip was juicy, and fun to listen to. Especially legendary love scandals.
"So Articuno and Moltres carried on this affair for a few years. They'd meet up at night at fire island or ice island and – well I donno what exactly, but you get the point, right. Then one night, a day before that stupid grass-head, sorry Bulbasaur, Bayleef, no offense – that green-haired Lawrence moron with his weird rocketship arrived – a day before that, Zapdos went to visit Moltres at fire island. Now unfortunately, Articuno would be coming to visit Moltres at fire island too, a few minutes later. But before Articuno came, Zapdos already told Moltres about his feelings, and apparently he was over-hormonal at the time. So he kinda attacked her, with thunder wave… paralysed her. Of course Moltres burnt him nearly to ash, ignore the pun there, but she was paralysed… one advantage of electric attacks, I guess. But then he countered her fire with thunder, and then tried to – you know – mate her. And at the time Articuno flew by."
The pokémon gasped even louder, though Gyarados looked annoyed.
"Articuno and Zapdos. What a skanky little #%$*! Ha, Charizard, betcha didn't know that!" she growled to herself.
"Actually I did…" Charizard said smugly, landing smoothly. "You jealous, Gyarados?" Apparently, he had forgotten her hydro pumping tendencies.
Gyarados however ignored him. "I'll hydro pump you later, I'm not jealous of some $!&%%* bird, and continue with the story, Squirt…"
"Yeah, so where was I? Oh yeah! So then Articuno saw what was happening. He didn't know that Moltres was paralysed, and therefore couldn't escape or move or attack Zapdos physically except with flames… he assumed the flamethrower and the thunder … were – uh – I don't know, like from pleasure or something. He didn't know Zapdos had forced Moltres… so he was upset, and hurt, and very angry with both Zapdos and Moltres. But poor bird, he was also shocked and sad, so he flew away to ice island, to stay in solitude for a while. Poor legendary, I think he was heartbroken. So he stayed cooped up in ice island."
"Awwww…poor thing…" Starmie sighed.
"Sure, Starmie…whatever. Zapdos, then realised that Moltres loved Articuno, and that thay had been doing things behind his back for years. Moltres confessed, and it made him really pissed. He also saw Articuno in the sky, though he didn't bother. He wanted revenge on both Articuno and Moltres. He was jealous and felt betrayed his two friends never told him anything. It was more of the betrayal which led him to – you know – Moltres even after the confession. Betrayal and he wanted to get back at Articuno, prove he was as good as he was.
Zapdos, hormonal pervert, got what he wanted and left Moltres in an hour… he was really proud of that part, Pikachu said his sparks were extra strong then, the perve… anyways he left, and Moltres became unparalysed… only she was obviously emotionally (not physically so much, even though she was paralysed, she was strong after it wore off) hurt and shattered…. and felt really guilty though she didn't know Articuno saw. So she sulked in her little fire cave like a girl, instead of confessing-"
"Hey!" Gyarados, Starmie, Bayleef, Corsola and Cyndaquil all exclaimed, insulted. Squirtle in fear of being hit by all types of attacks immediately backtracked.
"Okay, sorry, sheesh… sensitive females. So poor Moltres was hurt and stayed in her cave, like any normal legendary pokémon would do after being practically – uh – raped by another legendary pokémon… and you know, even if that Lawrence idiot hadn't come, they'd have started fighting sooner or later… he was just, the – uh – instigator…. he just sped it up, really.
So Lawrence came, captured Moltres, who being so emotionally hurt couldn't put up much of a fight as she normally might've. Then Zapdos came to fire island, to – I guess – assert his dominion over Moltres or something, and then he was captured… and then as you all know, we, as in Pikachu, Charizard, Bulbasaur and I, along with those two gay rocket losers, Weezing and Arbok – no, they weren't actually gay, I was joking Bulbasaur, sheesh! Yeah and so we set 'em both free, which could have been stupid and foolish, considering their – history…but we couldn't watch our legendaries be caged by some grassheaded – sorry Bulbasaur, Bayleef – selfish human. So then they fought, and fought. And then Articuno came out, and he fought with them too… they were all fighting with each other, it was really serious and personal, and all three were really pissed.
Zapdos was pissed with both Articuno and Moltres since they snuck around behind his back and hid their affair from him. He was frustrated with Moltres that she chose Articuno over him. He was jealous that Articuno got the girl, and wanted revenge.
Articuno was furious with Zapdos for trying to take Moltres from him. He was hurt and angry with Moltres, because he though Moltres was cheating on him – or at least not resisting Zapdos, since he didn't know about the paralsysis.
Moltres was very angry with Zapdos because of what he did to her on fire island that night… and she was upset that Articuno didn't trust her about Zapdos. Moltres tried to tell Articuno what really happened, but Articuno was too hurt and upset to listen, so they ended up – you know flamethrowing and ice beaming… and of course Zapdos was thundering away…. so yeah…
And then our heroic Ash did all his heroic stuff, with those spheres. And our darling Misty bravely swam out to sea and saved him, which was really sweet. And Lugia, with his song calmed down the emotional, hormonal, fighting teenagers. Music is always good for calming over-emotional teens, Gyarados and Charizard, maybe you guys could try listening to Lugia's song – sorry, kidding, don't flamethrower or hydro pump me, sorry!
And then they resolved there issues and were happy again. I don't know what happened. I think they apologized, sorted out the misunderstandings… I don't think Articuno and Moltres got back right then, but maybe they did later on, probably…. they were probably perfect together… and I don't know what poor Zapdos did… but anyways, they resolved it, Ash saved the world, though honestly all it was was a bunch of angry, confused, lustful teenagers… and to think that's what the world was at risk from ending from… and then everyone was happy, especially Charizard 'cus he got to exchange flamethrowers with Moltres like he dreamed about, which is about as close to a legendary you can get – oh, oops… "
"You exchanged flamethrowers! That's like – that's like –" Gyarados unleashed a full fledged hydro pump into the sky, where Charizard had already flown off. Thankfully for him, she just missed in her rage. Then she dove into the lake with a splash, Staryu and Starmie hopping off delicately.
"Well that's the end…" Squirtle concluded to his awed audience. "Ok, guys, stop actin' like some Butterfree stun spored you… react please!"
"Cool story… but those gay jokes were real lame…" Bulbasaur grumbled. "And not funny at all Squirt. You shouldn't say stuff like that."
"That was so romantic…" Starmie sighed.
"You're just like Misty!" Squirtle commented.
"You don't think Gyarados will use dragon rage, right?" Corsola squeaked.
"No, don't worry, she won't go through that much trouble for him." Pikachu reassured her. He had rejoined the group, along with Togepi and Psyduck.
"Hey, what just happened?" Psyduck asked stupidly.
"Squirtle just told us about Articuno, Moltres and Zapdos…" Cyndaquil replied.
"Huh, who?" he asked dumbly.
"Don't bother answering!" Bulbasaur whispered, but Cyndaquil was too nice.
"You know the legendary birds…"
"Birds. Hey, I'm a bird, aren't I?" Psyduck asked,
"Yes, but you're not exactly legendary…" Cyndaquil said politely.
"Why no-" Psyduck was cut off by Starmie, who could handle him quite well.
"Hey Psyduck, wanna practice swimming in the lake?"
"Swimming! Uh – no!"
Psyduck immediately waddled off somewhere, Togepi following him.
"I better go…can't leave those two alone, Misty'd be really upset with me if something happened to either of them! Someone come with me, to give me company!" Pikachu said scampering off, followed by Politoad, Cyndaquil and Totodile.
(A/N: If you're wondering, that leaves us with Bulbasaur, Squirtle, Bayleef, Starmie, Corsola and Staryu.)
"Heh, and Pikachu can't upset his precious Pikachupi now can he!" Squirtle smirked. "That'd mean no more cuddles and kisses from her!"
"You know, those really annoy Ash. He doesn't show it, but they do at times, especially when she fusses over Pikachu more than him. It's fun to watch! He gets so jealous, of his own pokémon!" said Bulbasaur.
"Ash doesn't need to be jealous, he has me!" Bayleef said, spinning her leaf around.
"Aw, you know Ash loves Misty waaay more than yooou!" Bulbasaur teased.
Bayleef turned on him, her eyes flashing.
"You wanna be vinewhipped!"
"Yes please!" said Bulbasaur delightedly. "I love getting' whipped by ya, Leefy!"
Innocent Bayleef thought he was being sarcastic. And she resented the nickname, therefore proceeded to vine whip Bulbasaur anyways.
"I don't think she knows that he enjoys those whippings!" Squirtle whispered to the others.
"Should we tell her?" Starmie asked.
"Nah, let him have his fun." Squirtle said, watching in amusement.
Bayleef continued to whip Bulbasaur with her vines, and then proceeded to shoot razor leaves at him. Bulbasaur did nothing but try and ward of the leaves with his own vines. He seemed to enjoy it.
"Those whips remind me of Misty's mallet!" Staryu whispered, watching as Bulbasaur got his butt whipped (nearly literally in this context!).
"Leefy, stop! I'm sorry 'kay!" Bulbasaur cried. Don't actually stop the whippin' though, I like it, he thought. Just it's get annoyin' warding off all those razor leaves, and they're sharp.
"Don't call me Leefy, you little loser!"
"Why not, it's cute! Ash calls Misty 'Mist'. Why can't I call ya 'Leefy' Leefy?"
"Firstly, don't compare us to them, I would never do what Ash does with Misty with you! Secondly, he's Ash! He's a sweetheart and I love him! It's nice when he gives nicknames, not when you do!"
"Ash doesn't give you a nickname does he! Only Misty. Maybe he doesn't like you enough!"
"AW SHUT UP YOU BIG BULB! You're not even an animal, y'know that, you're a frickin' plant!"
"Why does everyone insult me like that! It's not fair! You're mean and you're a freak, and your leaf is rotting! And you're ugly! Ash thinks so too!"
"Shut up, I'm gorgeous and nice and my leaf is green and fresh! Ash loves me! And you know that too! And people call you a plant cus it's what you are ya big baby! You're a disgrace to grass pokémon! You haven't even evolved, which just shows your immaturity!"
"Hey, it's not bad to not evolve!" Squirtle cried. Of course, both Bulbasaur and Bayleef ignored him, too caught up in each other.
"I am not immature!"
"You are too immature!"
"I am not!"
"You are too!"
"I am not!"
"You are too!"
The rather intelligent exchange was complemented by an exchange of vine whips and razor leafs, which actually didn't harm either Bulbasuar or Bayleef.
"Why does this seem so familiar?" Squirtle asked.
"You know why. I guess it means these two have crushes on each other as well…" Starmie sighed exasperatedly.
"Oh no, they're gathering sunlight now…" warned Staryu.
"They're gonna try for solarbeams!" cried Corsola.
"They won't hurt each other – but… we're water types. Those solarbeams could hurt US!" Squirtle said worriedly.
"Swim!" exclaimed Starmie, and the four water pokémon jumped into the nearby lake, swimming away from the ongoing battle.
"AM NOT!" Bulbasaur cried, glaring at Bayleef, unleashing a beam of bright energy from his bulb.
"ARE TOO!" Bayleef shrieked back, unleashing her solar beam right back.
The two solar beams collided with a resounding explosion – basically, a massive waste of energy. Bulbasaur and Bayleef slumped on the ground, exhausted.
"Am – not!" Bulbasaur gasped, panting.
"Are too…" Bayleef argued weakly, trembling.
A sudden rustling in the bushes prompted them both to look up, expecting Pikachu or Psyduck or one of the gang. However, it wasn't.
"It's – it's a Houndoom…" Bayleef whispered. "And all the water pokémon left…"
"Oh no, our type weakness…" Bulbasaur moaned. "Squirt, where are ya when I need ya!"
The Houndoom growled menacingly, it's eyes and fangs gleaming dangerously. Bulbasaur and Bayleef crawled towards each other, never taking their eyes off the Houndoom. Suddenly, it lunged towards Bayleef, jaws open to use bite.
"Bulba SAUR!" With a shout, Bulbasaur heaved himself up, and tackled Houndoom mid-air.
"Bulbasaur NO!" Bayleef cried.
"HOUNDOOM!!!" Houndoom roared, attempting to bite Bulbasaur, but Bulbasaur shot out it's vines, gripping Houndoom's neck tightly.
Houndoom snarled. "Useless little plant. Burn!"
He unleashed a full power fire spin on Bulbasaur.
"Bulbaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Bulbasaur cried in agony, as the flames danced around him.
"Baaaayleeeeeeef!!!" With a cry, Bayleef bodyslammed Houndoom, who roared, unleashing a flamethrower.
Bulbasaur watched in horror as Bayleef cried out. Houndoom however seemed weak from the attack, but had a major advantage. Bulbasaur frantically thought about Ash, what Ash would do in this situation. Type advantages didn't matter to Ash, he had beaten a Blastoise, Gary's Blastoise with a Charizard. Bulbasaur and Bayleef were Ash's pokémon. They could do this. They'd faced legendaries, for Lugia's sake!
Use the field to your advantage. Bulbasaur recalled one of the pieces of advice Ash had received on his journey.
Bulbasaur gathered his strength, though the flame burns were still burning agonizingly. He leaped at Houndoom and Bayleef, who were struggling, though Houndoor, with his fire had an obvious upper hand. Still Bayleef was no weakling. Even as Chikorita, she had faced Charizard.
"Bulbasaur!" he cried, tackling Houndoom, who bit him hard, and the three tumbled towards the water's edge.
"That's it! Bayleef, vine whip with me!" Bulbasaur cried.
Bayleef, though burnt badly, was not ready to faint. She shot out her vines, and together she and Bulbasaur whipped Houndoom into the lake.
He fell in with a splash and a howl of pain. Bayleef dipped herself into the water, to douse the flames, and Bulbasaur, spent, collapsed on the ground.
"I hope Gyarados finds him, stupid moron!" Bayleef cried angrily. She then turned towards Bulbasaur.
"Bulbasaur! Are you alright!" she cried frantically.
"Just dandy…" Bulbasaur croaked. His body burnt, and his head spun. He couldn't see clearly, only in patches of black. He could barely see Bayleef, as he attempted to focus on her bright eyes. They seemed wet, almost as if she was crying.
"Bulbasaur, don't faint! We need a potion! Or a burn heal! Or a berry – ASH! ASH!! Misty! Pikachu! Squirtle! Starmie! Charizard! Gyarados! Psyduck! Anyone!" she cried, scampering around. Where had they all gone!
In reply to her cries, five figures stepped through the trees.
"No…" Bayleef whimpered, running back to Bulbasaur.
"Bulbasaur, please don't faint… please…" she begged, nuzzling him, wrapping her vines around his beaten figure.
The five Houndoom growled menacingly, and advanced.
"That was our leader you morons…" one of them snarled.
"Bayleef run, I'll hold 'em off!" Bulbasaur whispered, struggling to get up.
"No, you know you can't and I'm not leaving!" she cried, eyes blazing.
"Leefy, come on…" Bulbasaur groaned.
The Houdooms advanced, their mouths blazing with flamethrowers, ready to be released.
"Bulbasaur, listen, before they burn us I wanted-" Bayleef's sentence was cut of by a ferocious growl.
"You #$%!*& #$%^&* leave my babies ALONE or you'll get hydro pumped into oblivion!" Gyarados roared, bursting out of the lake with a huge swell of water. She tossed the exhausted figure of the other Houndoom at them, and swirled around in rage.
"Thank Lugia…Mew…" Bulbasaur sighed.
The Houndoom stepped back uncertainly.
"Leave my buddy alone, ya losers! You had the type advantage, how could you! Bulbasaur!" Squirtle yelled angrily, jumping in front of Bulbasaur and Bayleef. He was followed by Starmie, Staryu and Corsola.
"Sorry we couldn't come earlier, we were at the other side of the lake, the moment we realized we swam here as soon as we could!" Starmie said breathlessly.
The Houndoom scowled at these new pokémon. They were all miniscule; one body slam would take them out.
Squirtle growled, flipping on his sunglasses. "Don't wanna mess with me, Houndoom!"
The Houndoom all snarled back.
"All right everyone… joint hydro pump!!!" Gyarados yelled. Four hydro pumps, and something which could only be classified as some kind of a tidal wave (Gyarados's hydro pump was huuuge) came shooting at the Houndoom, drenching them all. Their pitiful howls filled the forest.
"Okay, now that they're nicely covered in water and therefore conductive…" Squirtle turned at winked at Starmie. "Starmie, you know what to do!"
Starmie spun around, and released a huge bolt of thunder. It was followed by two other even larger thunderbolts, from Gyarados and –
"PIKA CHUUUUUUUUUUU!" came the angry cry, as Pikachu bounded towards Bulbasaur, loosing his electricity with Starmie and Gyarados.
Of course, at the end of it all, the Houndoom were blasted off (excuse the pun here) right into the forest, never to disturb the gang again.
"Bulbasaur!" Squirtle cried, turning around. Bulbasaur was still struggling not to faint, and Bayleef had her vines wrapped around him protectively.
"What in the name of Raikou happened?! Are you two okay?!" Pikachu asked.
"Bulba…." Bulbasaur couldn't manage to say anything but his own name at the time.
"We were attacked by Houndoom. We beat the first one… but then there were too many!" Bayleef explained. "And I was flamed once, but it wasn't too bad, I washed it off in the water… But he's been in a firespin, and he was body slammed and tackled and bitten… " she continued anxiously.
Squirtle and Starmie gentle water-gunned Bulbasaur, to alleviate his burns.
"He needs a potion or a berry or something!" Bayleef cried.
"I have a burn heal berry, here!" Corsola squeaked, handing it over to Bayleef, who gripped it with her vine.
"Here, Bulbasaur, have this berry…" Bayleef said softly, extending the vine towards Bulbasaur, who weakly ate it up.
He looked a little better, and his burns had healed, but he was still as weak as ever.
"He needs a potion, now. I don't care if Ash and Misty are in the middle of #$%!*& each other, someone needs to tell them. Ash wouldn't want Bulbasaur to get hurt!" Gyarados said, and Pikachu bounded off towards Ash's tent immediately.
The pokémon watched as Bulbasaur struggled to stand up, but failed, collapsing again.
"Chill, dude. Lie down a bit, you need rest…" Squirtle said, patting Bulbasaur's head.
"Yeah, as long as your burns are healed, it's alright…" Starmie added.
Bayleef said nothing, but stared at him wide-eyed, not withdrawing her vines.
"I must say I'm impressed. A grass type beating a fire/dark dual is very impressive…" Gyarados said. "Ash really has trained you both well. Though I know it's your own determination too…"
"Th-thanks…" Bulbasaur said weakly.
"What! They beat the Houndoom? When?! Didn't we do that?" Staryu asked.
"Nah, they must've. I found the first one floating in the water, fainted, before I could attack it. They did that themselves alright." Gyarados replied, and Bayleef nodded.
"Bulbasaur attacked and then said we should whip it into the water… " she said.
"Use the battle field to your advantage…" Bulbasaur muttered.
Squirtle looked at him in admiration. "Dude, wow. That's awesome. Ash'd be proud."
"Definitely, that's real smart!" said Starmie, sounding impressed.
"Wow…" was all Staryu could manage.
Pikachu scampered back at the moment, potion in his mouth. He gave it to Bulbasaur.
"Here buddy… you okay?" he asked concerned.
Bulbasaur nodded, taking the potion. He immediately felt his strength return, and sat up. Bayleef reluctantly loosened her vines.
"Ash and Misty were sleeping…not in that way Squirtle – and I didn't wanna wake 'em up, they looked real peaceful. But I found a potion in Misty's bag…" Pikachu explained.
"Thanks Pikachu…and it's okay, don't worry Ash. He'll go crazy. I'll just brag to him later…" Bulbasaur said.
"What exactly happened?" Pikachu asked.
"Well – uh…" Bulbasaur began. Squirtle cut him off.
"Hey Pikachu, don't ya think you should check on Togepi. I know Politoed and Cyndaquil will take good care of her, but I don't trust Psyduck or Toto…" He looked meaningfully at Bulbasaur and Bayleef.
"Oh yes, baby Togepi! How could I forget!" Pikachu said sheepishly. "See ya later Bulbasaur, Bayleef!" Pikachu scampered off.
"Hey Starmie, wanna go for a swim?" Squirtle asked suddenly.
"Yeah, sure… come one Staryu, Corsola!" Starmie said, not quite catching on.
"I meant alone…" Squirtle mumbled.
"Staryu and I can swim somewhere else!" Corsola piped up.
"We'll decide that later, just get in the water!" Starmie said exasperatedly, and the four water pokémon splashed in.
"Well, I have a sudden inexplicable urge to terrify baby Magikarp underwater…" Gyarados said. "May make them evolve faster, if I scare them enough… wimps. Can't believe we're related…oh well…see you both later, and if Charizard flies by, tell him I still owe him a hydro pump. I know my last shot missed…" With that Gyarados disappeared with a splash.
Bulbasaur and Bayleef looked at each other awkwardly.
"Well, thanks Bulbasaur. You were really brave, battling the Houndoom like that, and saving me… even though you knew fire is your weakness…" said Bayleef shyly.
Bulbasaur blushed, and felt his bulb tingle at the compliment. Now if only she'd wrap her vines around me again…
"Ah…well… you know…" he mumbled unintelligently.
"And I'm sorry for what I said before. But you really are kinda a plant, though I know you're an animal too…it's not bad though, it's – unique… and you're definitely not a disgrace to grass pokémon, you're like the opposite. It's kinda cool fighting alongside you…" she added, smiling.
"Heh… well yeah, I guess your right about the plant thing. And you battled really well too…. that body slam was – uh – powerful… how does Ash stand it when you slam him like that… I mean Misty's mallet usually has him on the floor, and heck she's strong, but those body slams…" Bulbasaur trailed off uncertainly.
Bayleef giggled. "I don't really body slam that Ash hard…"
"Oh yeah-" Bulbasaur added, suddenly looking uncomfortable. "I'm sorry about what I said before too… your leaves are actually – well – really – um – really p-pretty…"
Bayleef laughed. "Well maybe you are mature enough, even though you haven't evolved. I actually like you like this, you're cute…"
Bulbasaur blushed, looking away, though his bulb tingled pleasurably. Bayleef thinks I'm cute! But probably just in a babyish way…
Though Bayleef was prettier than she was as a cute little Chikorita, she sometimes made him nervous. Really nervous. Chikorita was at least the same size as him. With Bayleef however, Bulbasaur felt like some stupid kid fawning over a much older, prettier female.
"I kinda wish you hadn't evolved…" Bulbasaur blurted out.
"Wh-what do you mean?" Bayleef asked, a hurt expression crossing her face. Bulbasaur immediately vine whipped himself on the head.
"N-no, not that way! I mean, I – I l-like you a lot Leefy – uh, Bayleef, I really do…" Bulbasaur said blushing furiously, "but it was just easier – easier talking to you when you were a Chikorita – I mean – now you make me feel kinda funny, like my bulb starts tingling and stuff, I get all nervous when I'm around you cause you're so much prett- I mean, I dunno why!" Bulbasaur rambled on, knowing perfectly well why she made him nervous, and immediately realized what he had revealed. Oh Mew! She's gonna hate me now!
To Bulbasaur's immense surprise, Bayleef smiled. "Aww, that's sweet. I guess I'm glad I evolved if that's how you feel around me now…" She winked at him flirtatiously.
"Huh… wha-what do you mean?" Bulbasaur's stomach fluttered like a swarm of Butterfree. Is she joking around or is she serious. Oh please, let her be serious. Oh no! What'll I do! What if she knows!
Bayleef smirked. "Now, Bulbasaur, do you really think I don't know about your little crush?" she teased.
"Squirtle… Pikachu…" Bulbasaur growled, wondering which one of his friends had betrayed him.
"Cyndaquil actually…" she replied smoothly. "Who was told by Vulpix, who was told by Onix, who found out from Brock…Ash told him, by the way… Misty told Ash, they both found it adorable…" Bayleef continued, eyes dancing. Bulbasaur felt like disappearing… he considered using dig.
"M-misty?" he managed to stutter. Even the humans, our trainer knew… great! Just great! Ash never – wait, so that's why Ash always made us share pokénip bowls!
"Yeah, she found out from Togepi."
"Togepi?!!" Bulbasaur exclaimed in shock.
Don't ask me how Togepi knows this kind of stuff, but I have a feeling she's really not as innocent as Pikachu thinks. She must've overheard you guys a long time back… or maybe she just picked it up, you can be slightly obvious at times," she continued, taking all too much pleasure in her narration.
"So everyone knows… including you." he groaned.
"Including me!" she said triumphantly.
"B-but you're not mad?" he whimpered, fearing her answer.
"Why would I be, told ya I think you're a cutie!" she answered, smiling as he blushed redder than a Magmar.
"But you said – you said you didn't like me calling you Leefy – and you'd never – you'd never do what Ash does w-with – Misty with me…" Bulbasaur almost whined.
"I kinda like the name, I just couldn't let you know now, could I? And no because Ash and Misty do really inappropriate human things, stuff pokémon never do – but now I don't mind vine whippin' you do I?" she was still smirking, and Bulbasaur felt incredibly embarrassed.
She's known all this frickin' time! Why hasn't she said a word! She just played along! What was she doing, testing me?!
As if Bayleef knew what he was thinking, she said, "If you're wondering why I didn't do anything, then it's because I was waiting for you – to admit it… in case Togepi, Misty, Ash and all the others had been wrong… I mean, my sources weren't all that reliable, Togepi is still really young… that's kinda why I fought with you so much – you shoulda guessed since you've seen Ash and Misty…" she continued. "But now, you just revealed everything to me, so I know my suspicions were correct! You have had a crush on me for ages!!!" Bayleef giggled.
"Well – are you just joking around with me – or do you…" Bulbasaur couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence, looking at Bayleef with wide eyes. Please like me back the way I want you to…
"Like you back, Bulbasaur?" Bayleef questioned, locking her shining eyes with his. She extended a bright green vine, touching Bulbasaur's face with it gently. She then wrapped it around his bulb, and moved closer.
The Butterfree in Bulbasaur's stomach were more like a bunch of hyper-active Dragonites now, and his heart beat at the speed of a Suicune. She's so pretty…
Bayleef softly kissed Bulbasaur's cheek, sending a shudder through his bulb, like he'd been thundershocked, only much, much nicer than that. She then looked at him directly in the eyes, leaning in even closer.
"What do you think, cutie?" she asked softly.
Fifteen minutes later, Bulbasaur emerged from the bushes, looking like he'd been dynamic punched. His eyes were glazed over and he walked drunkenly, like he'd been confused. Bayleef likes me. Bayleef kissed me. I got some before Charizard! Haha, I got kissed before Charizard and Squirtle and Pikachu! Oh yes, whose the animal now?! Bulbasaur stumbled forward happily. I beat my type disadvantage and got kissed in one hour! Whoopee! Good thing I didn't evolve, 'cus she thinks I'm cute! Yes, ya hear that you Ivysaurs out their! Bayleef thinks I'm cute! Ha ha!
Bayleef, had accompanied Vulpix (who had finished her training with Brock) and Cyndaquil off somewhere.
Probably telling them how cool I am, Bulbasaur thought proudly, shooting out a few leaves. His bulb continued to glow brightly.
"Dude, what's up?! What happened?" Squirtle, Pikachu and Totodile scampered over followed by a rather clueless looking Psyduck.
"Heh heh, you wanna know…" Bulbasaur asked, grinning maniacally, his bulb still glowing.
"Did you two - you know… get together?" Pikachu asked tentatively, with wide eyes.
"Yep, we did!!!" Bulbasaur practically screamed.
"Congrats mate! Finally!" Squirtle exclaimed, patting him on the back, releasing a water gun in celebration. Totodile did the same, and Pikachu let off a few sparks.
"Awesome! Great for you Bulbasaur!" Pikachu cried.
"What did you do? How was it? Was she good? How long did you? What did she say?" Totodile asked, unable to control himself, as usual, dancing in excitement.
"Who? What?" Psyduck asked confusedly, and the other four sweatdropped.
After proudly recounting his tale to the others (including Psyduck who was unaware of Bulbasaur's past history with Bayleef and seemed to think, for some inexplicable reason thought that Bulbasaur was gay, something which cracked up Pikachu and Squirtle, and terrified Bulbasaur) Bulbasaur continued to gush on uncharacteristically like a rather sappy female. After a few minutes, the males were getting a bit freaked out.
"And my bulb felt all tingly, and she was so pretty, and her eyes were so beautiful…" he sighed.
Squirtle made a face. "Dude, that's sweet and all, but be more manly! Come on, I'm thrilled for ya, but snap outta it! Let's battle!"
"Nah… don't feel up to it…ah, Leefy…" Bulbasaur said dreamily.
Charizard chose that moment to land into the clearing, immediately causing Bulbasaur to snap out of his dream, and bound excitedly towards him.
"Charizaaard!!! CHARIZARD! Hey you twice-evolved, think-you're-so-mature, loser lizard! Guess what, guess what happened! I beat a Houndoom today in battle! I beat a fire-type! Your type! Aaaand IgotkissedbyBayleefanditwassogreat! She likes me! She totally is in looove with me! She said I'm cute 'cus I haven't evolved, how'd you like that you arrogant git! Huh, huh?! I got more action than you, and you're two evolutionary stages ahead of me, hahahahahaaaaaa!" Bulbasaur rambled on happily, dancing around and waving his vines haphazardly.
Charizard seemed mildly surprised. "Well good for you, it's about time you and Bayleef got together… but I still don't believe you beat the Houndoom…"
"I DID TOO, you evil dragon, ask Gyarados! And who cares, I got kissed and you still haven't!!! But you are, Gyarados told me to inform you, getting hydro pumped soon!!! HAHAHA!!!" Bulbasaur was now cackling madly, bouncing around in his glee. Pikachu, Squirtle and Totodile exchanged a look.
"I'm cute! I'm cute! Bayleef thinks that I'm cute!!!" Bulbasaur sang, vines still flailing madly.
"He's more hyper than me…" Totodile observed.
"Well, I'm happy for you my boy, but trust me, I have gotten way more action than you have… you're still a kid," Charizard began condescendingly.
"Am not! I got kissed already!" Bulbasaur cried indignantly. "Gyarados never kissed ya did she?!"
"No, but kissing isn't everything kiddo. You don't need to know about what I've got and what I haven't, but trust me; I am and shall always be far ahead of you in that department… after all, I'm the mighty, sizzling Charizard…"
"Really? Then I suppose one measly little hydro pump from me won't hurt you much… I still owe you, you know…" Gyarados asked nonchalently, her eyes gleaming, and once again displaying her uncanny tendency of choosing a perfect moment to resurface.
"Oooh, yes, if anything could make this perfect day any better it's watching him get pumped!" Bulbasaur said, squirming in excitement.
"And I'm happy for you Bulbasuar, but you better control testosterene– or gibberellin levels, whatever the plant hormones are called… stop sulking it was a joke! But really, nothing puts off girls more than over-enthusiastic mates…" Gyarados continued.
Charizard snorted in agreement.
"Except for egotistical, overheated dragons, those are definetely worse." she concluded evilly, and Charizard nearly fell over. Pikachu, Squirtle and Totodile laughed.
"M-mates?! We haven't mated yet…ooh d'you think she'll mate me? Or will she wanna wait, we're kinda young, don't you think!" Bulbasaur asked eagerly.
"Dude, I'm tellin' ya, yer too young! Don't get corrupted by Charizard." Squirtle replied, shocked.
"Yes, listen to Squirt, who for once in his wacky life seems more sensible than you-" Gyarados said.
"Hey!" Squirtle cried whipping out his sunglasses, but Gyarados had already focused her attention on Charizard.
"As for you…" Gyarados began menacingly only to realise that Charizard has disappeared, with a flash of red light. His pokéball shook slightly.
"#^%!*$ chicken! He escaped into the pokéball, what a loser! How I ever fell for him, I don't know! GET OUT OF YOUR POKEBALL YOU USLESS, SISSY LIZARD!!! BE A DRAGON FOR DRAGONITE'S SAKE, AND FOR ONCE IN YOUR PATHETIC LIFE FIGHT ME, WILL YA!!!" Gyarados roared at the pokéball, to no avail. Charizard wouldn't come out unless he wanted to, or unless he was called out by Ash (who was currently too occupied anyways). So he was safe for the time being.
Sighing, Pikachu and the others left Gyarados raging at the pokéball, to find the rest of the pokémon.
"I really wanted to see him get pumped…" Bulbasaur muttered regretfully, but then his eyes lit up again at the sight of Bayleef, who was accompanied by Cyndaquil and Vulpix.
"Hey guys!" Bayleef said cheerfully, shooting a covert, sweet smile at Bulbasaur who winked back. Squirtle noted the exchange and felt a bit nauseous.
My best mate got a chick before I, leader of the super Squirtle Squad did… and his flirting skills are probably zero, compared to me anyways. Damn, Starmie, why couldn't you have flirted back with me a bit - I mean no, NO, I didn't mean it like that! Squirtle blushed to himself, and then put away his sunglasses. Starmie, though very friendly, had politely rebuffed most of his advances… she didn't really seem that interested, other than as friends. Squirtle didn't need her. Who cares if her jewel was sparkly and really pretty. Vulpix was really pretty too, though slightly snobbish. Yeah, Squirtle would much rather talk to Star- no, Vulpix!
"Hiya girls… hey Vulpix, haven't seen you in a bit… Brocko trained you much?" Squirtle asked nonchalently.
"Yeah, like a bit… made me like, melt rocks and stuff…" Vulpix replied, licking her paw daintily.
"You must be really awesome at those flamethrowers by now if you're melting rocks!" Squirtle said in a pathetic attempt to seem impressed.
"Like, save your flirting for Starmie… I'm like, totally not interested." Vulpix stated bluntly.
Squirtle fell over, blushing. "Hey! I'm not flirtin' with ya! And who said – why – what – St-St-Starmie?!"
"I could like tell, Brock's my trainer, what do you expect? I know you're just doing it, to like, distract yourself from Starmie, but like, I dunno, use Cyndaquil or something. I have like, enough guys all over me anyways, I don't need you pretending… Cyndaquil's shy, she won't say anything." Vulpix finished.
Squirtle pouted, and then retreated into his shell. Bulbasaur tapped on it with his vines, urging him to come back out.
"Leave him for a bit, he's suddenly acting all weird when it comes to Starmie. You guys know why? He's liked her for just a week or two." Pikachu whispered.
Vulpix nodded. " I know he's had hots for her for a bit! Bayleef and Cyndaquil told me… I think it's cute, only his flirting's really lame, he shouldn't be so obvious about it…"
"Wh-whaddya mean?!" asked Squirtle, shocked enough to pop back out of his shell. My flirting's not lame, take that back you stupid fox! Charizard's the lame one!
"Well you're a tiny bit – straightforward, don't you think?" Cyndaquil suggested kindly.
"Entei no, he's damn obvious!" Vulpix exclaimed knowledgably! "You should try to – act like, hard to get! That's what women totally prefer!"
"Really?" Squirtle asked, confused.
"Like, duh! Why'd you think my master never lands himself a girlfriend. Too desperate." Vulpix said, fluffing up her lustrous tails.
"Oy, I'm not that bad!" Squirtle exclaimed indignantly. "Come on, look at Charizard and Bulbasaur! And Pikachu, Pikachu's not even interested in girls!"
"Hey! I got a girlfriend before you did!" Bulbasaur reminded him, unable to keep the pride out of his voice.
"Yeah, and he never flirted. Pissed me off and acted like a pain in the leaf, but never flirted… at least I don't think so… but it worked!" Bayleef said, standing up for her man – er plant… oh whatever…
"Yeah, and Charizard isn't exactly your role model now, is he? I mean he's probably getting hydro pumped as we speak, you wouldn't wanna land up in his situation now would you?" Totodile added.
"I'm interested in girls, there just aren't any I like that way around here!" Pikachu said, cheeks sparking.
"What about Togepi?" Totodile snickered.
"Shut up! That's sick! She's like my daughter – or neice, 'cause if Misty is Mommy and Ash is Daddy, that makes me uncle… so don't say stuff like that Toto!" Pikachu exclaimed.
"Where is your darling Togepi, uncle Pikachu?" Bulbasaur piped up.
"Misty's pokémon are with her… I can trust Starmie, Staryu, Politoed and Corsola…" Pikachu replied.
"Hey Pikachu, did you actually ever like any girls? I mean, seriously… everyone knows about Bulbasaur, Squirtle and Charizard, and of course we've heard of Butterfree and his exciting love-life, but what about you?" Bayleef asked curiously.
"Hey we're supposed to be discussing my love-life here!" Squirtle grumbled.
Pikachu blushed. "N-no not yet… except – well no! No one!"
"You can tell us…" Vulpix teased. "We won't like, tell anyone!"
"Have you told Ash?" Bayleef asked, and Pikachu shook his head in alarm.
"No never! He'd kill me – I mean, no he wouldn't!" Pikachu backtracked immediately, at the suspicious look Bulbasaur was giving him.
"Just one – I mean no one! I don't have a crush on anyone, this was ages ago! Ages, and it only lasted for a few months okay!" Pikachu blathered frantically. "I thought we were giving Squirtle love advice!"
"No, I wanna know this now! Pikachu actually liked someone before! Who?! How come you didn't tell us? Or Ash? Or anyone?" Squirtle asked.
"I- I d-didn't…" Pikachu mumbled, blushing.
"Tell us, will ya!" Squirtle demanded. "Or at least Bulbasaur and me, we tell ya everything!"
"We wanna know too! Like, come on Pikachu!" Vulpix begged.
"I suppose you haven't told Baby Togepi then… how disturbing that would be…" Bulbasaur mused out loud, looking shrewdly at Pikachu, who looked away, embarassed. Dammit, Bulbasaur.
"Huh? Togepi? Why would he tell her, she's too young – OH!" Squirtle looked at Bulbasaur, and immediately caught on.
"OH MEW!" Squirtle exclaimed.
"Shuttup, both of you…" Pikachu growled.
"Can't tell Ashy now, can you Pikapal… he wouldn't be too happy with his favorite pokémon…" Squirtle teased, as he and Bulbasaur sniggered.
"I always suspected this actually…" Bulbasaur said thoughtfully. "Right Squirt, he was pretty obvious, and I suppose being cute and furry helps him get all the attention he wants… you sure you're over that crush Pikachu?" Bulbasaur asked, continuing the teasing.
"Who are you guys talking about?!" Totodile exclaimed.
"Yeah, Bulbasaur, tell me!" Bayleef pleaded.
"Yeah tell them, Pikachu, who are you getting so blushy and misty-eyed about?" Squirtle continued cheekily.
"Squirt!!!" Pikachu exclaimed.
"Oh Moltres!" Cyndaquil exclaimed, understanding immediately. "I should have guessed!"
"Who?" demanded Vulpix. "Like, tell us too! Toto, Bayleef, Psyduck and I."
Psyduck scratched his head. "I thought Pikachu liked Sparky, Ritchie's Pikachu."
The pokémon facefell.
"Sparky's a male!" Pikachu exclaimed. Psyduck scratched his head again.
The pokémon nearly fainted again.
"Is he g-gay?" Bulbasaur whispered fearfully to Squirtle, who shrugged.
"I dunno… I don't think he knows… " Squirtle replied.
"Well, Pikachu tell us who you like!" Bayleef continued.
Pikachu mumbled something under his breath.
"Aw forget him!" Bulbasaur said, getting impatient. "I'll tell ya! Sorry, Pikapal, but the cat – I mean mouse – is outta the bag! Pikachu likes – I mean liked – his darling Pikachupi! For ages!"
"Just a few months-" Pikachu began embarassed, but was cut by shrill squeals emitted by Vulpix, and Bayleef.
"Oh, Misty! Like, how cuuuute!" Vulpix gushed.
"It is very sweet. Now I know why you get all affectionate and cute around her… maybe Ash does have a reason to get jealous!" Cyndaquil giggled.
"It was ages ago! I stopped ages ago! Please don't tell her – or Ash!" Pikachu moaned piteously.
"Oh we won't! Though I can't like, wait to tell Starmie and Corsola!" Vulpix said. "I still think it's so cute… I knew you had a soft spot for her but I never thought you had a crush on her! I suppose this was in the beginning, like, from the moment you guys met in Viridian forest… which is why you let her cuddle you and refused to fight her and all… and were so eager to fight for her in the Princess festival…"
"Well – yeah – kinda… but now she's just a best friend…" Pikachu mumbled.
"Ooh, love at first sight…" Cyndaquil said dreamily.
"Huh…" Bayleef said thoughtfully. "And to think I used to get jealous of you for Ash's affections… thought you might've had a gay crush on him or something…"
"Leefy don't say such things!" exclaimed Bulbasaur, looking deeply troubled.
Pikachu shook his head furiously. "Not Ash, never Ash in that way! Can't even believe you used to, he was your trainer!"
"Well, I was a crazy little Chikorita back then… I don't anymore… that's history… you're not much better, though, liking you're trainer's girlfriend!" Bayleef replied.
"I liked her before he did!" Pikachu said defensively. "I think… at least I knew I liked her before he realised that he did…"
"Oooh, how adorable!" Vulpix giggled. "Darling Pikachupi… what was it you liked so much about her Pikachu, tell us!"
"No! Stop, I told you guys, and it was ages ago, now can we please forget!"
"Bet you loved seeing her all dressed up at Maiden's Peak?" Bulbasaur grinned.
"Oh yeah, Maiden's Peak! I remember that!" Squirtle said reminscently as Pikachu refused to reply. "Remember Venastoise, Bulbasaur? Hehe…"
Bulbasaur looked at him in disgust. "Please, do not remind me of that horrendous thing! It was sick, Squirtle, plain sick!"
"I thought it was scary then, kinda funny now though…" Squirtle said.
"Funny! Funny?! How's it funny, it's wrong Squirtle, plain disgusting!" Bulbasaur hissed.
"What's Venastoise?" Bayleef asked.
"You don't wanna know…" Bulbasaur said quickly, clamping a vine around Squirtle's mouth and looking exceedingly embarassed.
Pikachu, still bugged Bulbasaur managed to figure out about his deepest secret crush, immediately replied. "Oh, it was this pokémon, just an illusion, created by this Gastly… like a combination of Blastoise and Venasaur – Squirtle and Bulbasaur's evolved forms…"
Bulbasaur looked ready to faint.
"You mean, if a Blastoise and Venasaur mated?" Cyndaquil asked curiously.
"Something like that…" Pikachu grinned evilly at Bulbasaur who looked sick.
"No NO NO, don't ever say that! That's gross! Yuck, ew! Squirtle, why are you laughing, it's our evolved forms they're talking about mating, don't you find that rather disturbing! I do! Bayleef, it's not funny, you should be angry! I mean, it's like me and Squirtle mating which is wrong and sickening and gross on so many levels!" Bulbasaur rambled on incessantly, as he usually did when confronted with such topics.
Squirtle immediately stopped laughing, and looked revolted. "Dude, I like you a lot, you're my best buddy and all, but I will not mate with you!"
(A/N : Mwahahaha… I just had to add a reference, no matter how obscure to teamshipping cus it is kinda cute… or maybe I'm just a weirdo…)
"WHAT?! Squirtle! NO!!!! Yuck, that's so gross! What in the name of Mew is your problem, I didn't mean it like that, you know I didn't!" Bulbasaur cried, mortified.
"You're so silly sometimes, it's rather cute Bulbasaur!" Bayleef winked, still giggling. The other pokémon were cracking up.
"You're going off topic, buddy, this had nothing to do with you and Squirtle… unless you want to think of it like that…" Pikachu teased, though stopped as both Bulbasaur and Squirtle looked ready to tackle him. "Kidding, guys… come on Squirt, you know I was kidding, you were laughing too! And Bulbasaur, seriously, calm down, no one was implying anything about you, not even that Gastly! It probably didn't know you're so – sensitive…" Pikachu concluded carefully.
"I'm not sensitive! That's girly!" Bulbasaur sulked, crawling towards Bayleef for comfort. "And that Gastly was a perverted, disgusting pokémon."
"Alright, whatever. And Meowth is the coolest pokémon in the world… just chill, will you. You and Squirtle haven't even evolved yet… that Gastly didn't mean it like that. Besides, you're both males so you can't mate even if you wanted-"
"WE DON'T WANT TO! EWW GROSS!" Squirtle and Bulbasaur both shouted this time, looking incredibly uncomfortable.
The rest of the pokémon laughed.
"Oh, go snuggle up with your darling Pikachupi! I bet you still like her!" Squirtle retorted.
"No, I don't." Pikachu said honestly, though he blushed slightly (out of embarassment, nothing else). "And she's busy snuggling up with Ash anyways, I bet… Don't say I'm jealous, 'cus I'm not, I'm extremely happy for them, I'm the one who wanted them to get together the most!"
"Wasn't that, like Brock!" said Vulpix.
"Me and Brock both…"
Abrupt I know, sorry about that. Had no clue how to end this thing, pokemon talk could go on forever! Anyways… hope you liked it =S
And I apologize for any errors, but I wrote this whole thing in the middle of my IGCSE exam study leave!! (I should've been studying, I know… =P)