Main Pairing: Sasuke/Naruto

Warnings: AU, Bad language, Lemony/smutty scenes ahead.

Notes: Well, the muse is back...I think. Maybe all this polishing up of old stories and rewatching the show again has spurred them all, but here's something new from the ol' noggin. Read, leave a comment, makes me pretty happy. Enjoy!

Chapter One

Tendrils of smoke drifted from the cigarette that dangled from the corner of his lips. They curved like belly dancers, mingling with the late evening air, which surprisingly was still humid and stifling. He sat on his hunches and sighed – a bored expression on his countenance as he eyed the ants (students actually) still leaving the school grounds at this hour. He had long taken off the dark blue blazer of his school uniform, the red tie slung loosely around his neck, and top few buttons opened to let in some semblance of reprieve from the heat. His blond hair; damp with sweat, clung to his forehead and cheeks. Absently, he wiped at the droplets that threatened to fall into his eyes, grimacing as they stung anyway. He blinked rapidly and riveted his gaze to the heavens, realizing with a dull pang that he was one, goddamn hungry and two, turning into one of his best friends, Shikamaru – a lazy bum.

Normally, they'd be hanging out together on the roof of the school at this hour, but Shika had suddenly found himself dragged into an unwilling baseball game as Coach Yamato had all but ragged on him for being such a lazy jackass and ditching his team every time. The blond chuckled and flicked some ash from the stick, remembering how aghast Shika had looked at the public humiliation. Hadn't he warned the other boy not to sign up for the team? Shika had said it was only to look good on his graduation resume since his class work stunk like hell. The blond winced for he knew that he too had to find something to make his resume look presentable. So far, all attempts at being a part of any sporting activity did not interest him in the slightest.

It wasn't as if he wasn't good at anything, and goodness knows he had heard enough lectures from Principal Tsunade about 'applying himself' , but what the hell? He applied himself everyday. It took a lot of skill to peek into the girls' locker rooms, or to join Chouji, a fellow classmate, in snapping shots of the girls' swim team when no one was looking, or selling said pictures for a good price at other neighboring schools. Pictures of the hot trio – Sakura, Ino and Hinata – could sell for as much as five bucks each! Speaking of which…

He whipped out his cell phone and dialed a number, rolling his eyes as a familiar bark was heard first. He could swear the dog actually owned the damn device.

"'Sup, Naruto?" came the voice of his other pal, Kiba.

"Kiba, what happened, bro? You didn't show up in school today."

"Miss me that much, sweetheart?" Kissing sounds were heard and Naruto sniggered. "Dude, I got the flu. Sucks majorly."

"That dog of yours…"

"Don't even go there," came the protective/defensive tone that was a routine with Kiba. No one dared blame Akamaru, for that was the pup's name, for anything. In Kiba's opinion, the dog could do no wrong. It was everyone else that had the problem. "So what the fuck you call me for, man? I'm busy…"

"Jacking off, yeah, yeah," Naruto replied and stubbed out the cigarette, idly reaching into the pocket of his pants for another one. "You still in for Kusanagi High?"

He chuckled as Kiba whooped and promptly coughed in reply. Wow, Kiba did sound like he was down and out. "I'm so there, man! When -"

"Eh, not with that cold you're not," Naruto interrupted. "Not to worry, Shika and Chouji will be enough -"

"No way, bro!" Kiba began to protest, but Naruto tuned out the whines and pleas that his cold would be fine by Friday night, as a distraction presented itself in the form of one Uchiha Sasuke – a fellow classmate – well actually he was in Class 3-1 – who was currently walking along the ledge of the rooftop. Naruto sighed inwardly and forced himself to focus on the conversation at hand.

"…got my meds and shit. I'll be fine!" Kiba finished with a huff.

"Kiba, look it's just a swim meet. There'll be plenty others." But Naruto knew that Kiba knew that there wouldn't be others because Kusanagi High was an all-girls' establishment with the hottest babes on the planet and just getting tickets to see this event was something young hot-blooded men all over the freakin' country would have killed to get.

Uchiha Sasuke was rocking back and forth on the ledge now. Naruto shook his head and turned away. God, couldn't the guy get a clue?

Kiba was still whining and now promising Naruto a week loan of his precious video games. Naruto was tempted. "Well…I guess you could come…"

"You're the best, bro!" Kiba all but squealed in delight and promptly began rattling off something about some porn magazines he managed to shoplift the other day. Naruto's peripheral vision caught sight of the other boy still teetering dangerously on the edge of the roof and finally having enough; he rudely cut off the conversation with Kiba by snapping the phone shut to spin around.

"The fuck, Sasuke! I told you, I'm not joining your stupid club, now stop stalking me!"

The dark-haired boy looked surprised at the outburst, although one could make out the small smirk that curved his lips. "What are you talking about, Naruto?"

Urgh. How Sasuke could manage to sound like he was so damn cool was grating on Naruto's nerves. "That boyfriend of yours, Sai -"

A narrowing of eyes. "He's not my boyfriend -"

"…keeps bugging me in the middle of class, telling me to sign up! You're the captain of the team, aren't you? Get him off my case!"

"You have a mouth," Sasuke replied with a mock yawn. "You tell him."

Naruto's jaw worked for a moment before he spun around to walk to the opposite end of the roof. It was a large expanse of space, thank goodness, so more room to breathe and not have to deal with Mr. Wonderful over there. Ah, did we forget to mention that Sasuke was supposedly the most popular guy in the school? It's even rumored that some of Kusanagi's finest were after his ass.

"Goddamn it!" Naruto growled and kicked at a cement block, wincing inwardly at his stubbed toe in the process. Stooping to his haunches again, he lowered his head and tried to breathe evenly, realizing that any conversation (however little it was) with Sasuke managed to get his blood pressure rising. He wasn't sure that was healthy.

"So going to the swim meet, are you?"

What the…?

Naruto rose to his feet and glared at the smirking boy pacing beside and now away from him. Sasuke leaned against the wire fence and stared into the furious blue eyes, loving the way he could always manage to get a rise out of the blond with just a word. It really was…delicious.

"What's it to you?" Naruto finally managed when he could find his voice again.

"Want to meet someone special?"

The blond raised a brow but said nothing. This was a trap. This bastard-

Sasuke turned away and continued in a bored tone. "I hear Amaru Azusa just broke up with her model boyfriend. She must be lonely and all…oh yeah, she did call me last night…"

The cigarette, which Naruto had been ready to light, fell to the ground as he went slack-jawed. He rushed up to the other boy and grabbing fistfuls of Sasuke's blazer, he stared intensely into the amused dark eyes.

"Don'," came the low growl. "Are you serious? Is she really…?"

And now to nail the coffin. "She likes you," Sasuke replied. "Told me herself."

Naruto lowered his head; hands now trembling as Sasuke's words sunk in. Amaru Azusa – the red head with the killer smile, the fastest swimmer – most likely to represent Japan in the next Olympics (as rumor had it) – legs to die for….THAT Amaru li…li…liked him?

"You're lying," he whispered, trying to squash down his hopes. He looked up again into Sasuke's eyes, barely missing the flicker of some emotion he wouldn't have been able to define anyway. "You're making this up, aren't you?"

"If you don't believe me…why don't you speak to her yourself?" Sasuke cajoled in a voice that seemed deeper and a bit husky. If Naruto was focused enough on the boy, he would have noticed that his companion's breathing was shallow and his features, a bit flushed. Sasuke just prayed that Naruto wouldn't come any closer or he was more than bound to notice the growing bulge in his pa…

"What do you mean speak to her?" Naruto retorted as he finally released Sasuke's shirt to step away. He eyed Sasuke warily when he whipped out his cell phone and punched a single key on the device.

Damn. He even had Amaru on speed dial?

Keeping his eyes trained on the flabbergasted blond, Sasuke spoke into the phone with a small smile on his lips. "Hey, Amaru. How's it going?...uh huh…aww, come on…you'll be great on Friday….mmmhmm…ahaha…sure…hey, listen…guess who I have with me right now? No….not him…and Jesus, he is NOT my boyfriend! What is with everyone? Just because he stal…hangs out…anyway, guess who's here? Naruto….uh huh…wanna speak to him?" Sasuke smirked as Naruto waved his hands frantically in refusal. "He's coming to the meet on Friday…you'll see him then, huh? Nice. I'll tell him. Bye…yeah…see ya."

"You bastard!" Naruto growled, even though his features seemed to glow with undeniable excitement and yet disbelief. "You really did…"

"I told you. Now you have your date with Amaru…and you owe me."

Naruto, who by this time had been pacing up and down and wringing his hands as his thoughts skipped to Friday and what he could possibly do with the redhead bombshell, froze at the comment.

"Owe you what?"

Sasuke scowled. "Dude, do you honestly think I'd set you up with a girl that just about any other guy would die for, just to get nothing in return?"

"He…hey! I didn't ask you to…!"

"But you wanted to," came the rebuttal as Naruto suddenly found himself grabbed by the scruff of his shirt and flung against the wire fence. He gave a light grunt of pain before widening his eyes as Sasuke leaned closer. Was it his imagination or were those dark eyes changing into a red hue? He always knew Sasuke was the devil in human flesh, but this was too much.

"Get the fuck away from me," Naruto said quietly. If it came to a fight, he could hold his own and he wouldn't mind punching Sasuke just for the hell of it. The boy had it coming.

"You ungrateful son of a bitch," Sasuke replied just as softly, his eyes narrowed, lips curving into a smirk that made him seem so confident and sure of himself. "I offer you a buffet of beauty all wrapped up in one and what do I get in return?"

"What do you want then?" Naruto snarled. "Money? A pack of smokes? A ride on my bike? What?"

"Simple really," came the answer. Naruto could feel his blood not only rising, but a reluctant tingle of pleasure at the warmth of Sasuke's breath against his cheek and now into his ear. He closed his eyes…no squeezed them shut, hoping that the other boy wouldn't realize that his ear was one of his more erogenous zones. Shit. Oh shit. I'm going to kill him if he dares…!

"…fuck you…"

Naruto's lashes flew open and for a second he wondered if he had just been insulted. His hands formed fists – ready to pound them into Sasuke's face. "What did you say?" he asked in a voice that felt like flakes of chipped ice.

"I said, Naruto, I'd very much like to fuck you….it's been on my to-do list for a very long time."

His fists unclenched, his jaw going slack again as the words finally sunk in. He knew it! He knew it! There was no way a guy as goddamn pretty as Sasuke Uchiha, who hung out with that fucktard Sai, or that creepazoid Suigetsu or the zombie Juugo or the dyke, Karin, could possibly be straight! No…fucking…!

"Get the hell off me!" he roared and shoved Sasuke away, eyes blazing with fury.

"Then no date with Amaru," Sasuke replied coldly.

"Fuck the date with Amaru!" Naruto answered, still trembling with shock at what was taking place. "I don't need this bullshit."

"Okay. Suit yourself…although…"

Naruto, who had been ready to stomp away, spun around with eyes narrowed as he watched Sasuke, now on his haunches and tapping out a cigarette himself. "Although what…?"

"Oh…nothing…" came the vague answer.

"Cut the crap, Sasuke! What is it?" God! Just one excuse to punch him, that's all he needed.

Sasuke blew out a ring of smoke and wagged a finger as if admonishing a bad child. "You've been pretty naughty with your friends lately, haven't you?"

Naruto stiffened. "What…"

"Taking pictures of naked girls in the locker room….stealing some medicine from the nurse's office to 'sell' to those guys at Shinjuku…"

"Why you…!"

"Oh wait…I'm sorry…how did you get your tickets to the swim meet again?"

"We paid for them!" Naruto roared. "We got them from…!"

"Takeshi," Sasuke interrupted. "Who is known for selling fakes like a mofo. Too bad…and here you thought you were going to the event of a lifetime. If the security guards see those tickets, there's no way you're going in…bro." He smirked and leaned against the fence, looking nonchalant and seemingly bored with the whole affair. "Although…"

Naruto rolled his eyes, even as his heart seemed to be pounding so hard and loud his eardrums were ringing. It couldn't be. It just couldn't be! He had shelled out over 50,000 yen for the tickets. Months of hard labor at that godforsaken road work, only to find out he had gotten fakes…fuck!

"I could get you in," Sasuke said with a light shrug. "And all you have to do is…"

"Offer my ass to you for a good fuck, eh?" Naruto sneered. "God, you're one sick…"

"You could end up liking it," Sasuke interrupted with a matching sneer. "You think I haven't seen you and Kiba kissing…"

"We pretend!" Naruto yelled in frustration. "It's nothing…!"

"Oh sure, it's nothing," Sasuke cut in, now looking pissed off for some reason. "You don't kiss boys and pretend that many times, Naruto. You're not averse to it, so why are you averse to me?"

"Isn't it obvious?" came the barely contained growl. "I hate you."

"Why? We barely even talk on a regular basis, dickwad. What's to hate?"

"You want a list?"

"Indulge me."

"Urgh! This is stupid…can't believe I'm even having this goddamn conversation with you." He spun around to search for where he had dumped his blazer. He was leaving to find Takeshi, and when he found that no-good asshole, he was going to tear him a new one. Naruto made a mental note to inform Shikamaru as well, no doubt his buddy would want to help in the beat down.

"All right then," Sasuke tried again, kicking himself inwardly for having to do this. "Since it means 'nothing', why don't we pretend you're kissing me, hmm?"

"Give it up, Sasuke," Naruto replied, dusting off his now found blazer. He shrugged into it and sunk his hands into the pockets of his pants. "I'm not kissing you or fucking you or even giving you a blow job if you were the last guy on earth. If you're that desperate, go find Sai or Suigetsu and buttfuck them all night for all I care."

"It's you I want," came the flat statement that seemed to hang like a lead weight between them.

The hell? Naruto thought with mild panic as his heart skipped a beat. Jesus! What the hell was with that intense look in Sasuke's eyes? He was getting freaked out and was not really liking the way his body was reacting to the situation.

Sasuke, for his part, realized he was fighting a losing battle here. He thought the direct approach would work…but then again, hadn't he been expecting this? It still didn't lessen the hurt.

"You might like it, Naruto," he said again, now with a small smile as he noticed the boy approaching them in the background. His time was up. "So think about it. You have three days till Friday. If I don't get an answer by Thursday night, you aren't getting into Kusanagi. I'll make sure of it."

He rose to his feet and flicked away the cigarette, barely glancing at Shikamaru as he walked past the bemused boy and into the school.

"What was that all about?" Shikamaru asked with a raised brow as he noticed Naruto as stiff as a ramrod. "What did he say to you, Naruto? Oy…Naruto?"

"I'll kill him," came the low mutter from the blond as he pounded a fist into the wall beside him with as much fury as he could muster. "I'll fucking kill him if it's the last thing I do."

"Dude…you're bleeding…" Shikamaru observed as he scratched his head in growing confusion. "You sure you don't want…"

"Let's go!" came the curt interruption. "First…we have to make a quick pit stop at Takeshi's place…"