It's a disaster worse than a train wreck without you here, but Louise can't know that. No one can know that. At least, no one but you. I wish I could take it all back and accept your proposal and Louise would be our daughter and we'd be a legitimate family and we wouldn't care what others thought of us because we'd all be together.

I probably won't have the nerve to send this to you, but I have to write to someone. You're the only one I can talk to without having the worry of someone being entirely bored with listening or them only half-listening or they wouldn't be enthusiastic enough or something else like that. That's why I love you – you're the only person I'm truly myself around.

Please come back, Herbie! I need you here. I love you. You're my world, Herbie, my life. You have no idea how hard your leaving hit me. Your memory lingers but how long will it stay? How long? I could only hold onto my memories for so long, Herbie. How long will it last? How long will you leave me alone?

My love stays with you, Herbie.