What If


Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.

A/N: I know there aren't any names in this, but I wrote it with Rose and the Doctor in mind. Enjoy.

Dear Diary,

Today something happened. I'm not sure if it was amazing or strange or wonderful. I'm not even sure it wasn't just a dream I had under the starlight. Maybe it was. Perhaps I fell asleep and imagined it all.

He had taken me to Borden II, which he said had the most beautiful sunsets in the galaxy. He was right, as usual. The sunset was absolutely glorious. We sat on the edge of a cliff so high it would have made Mt. Everest look like a one story building. We watched the sun go down, a flaming disc surrounded by reds, and pinks, and oranges.

When the sun was completely gone, I still didn't want to leave. I was enjoying the peace and quiet far too much for that.. So, we laid back and watched the stars come out. That was really amazing, because Borden II is right next to the Fire Nebula and as the night got darker, the nebula got brighter and brighter, until the whole sky was a blaze of red. It was so bright that if Borden II had a moon it would actually block the light instead of adding to it. At least, that's what he said.

We weren't really doing anything, just lying there, watching the stars. I actually began to fall asleep. Suddenly he started talking to me.

"It's funny isn't it? Not funny ha-ha, but funny strange."

"What is?" I couldn't help but be slightly annoyed that he picked now to be cryptic. I really wasn't in the mood to think about anything.

"What people don't say to each other. It's like one of those plays where the two people are in love, but they never figure it out.. Through the whole play you're sitting there, waiting for one of them to just say, 'I love you,' but they never do."

"Well yeah, but we only know that they love each other because we're looking in from the outside. If it were us we would see things differently. I mean, what if I walked up to you one day and told you I loved you? You'd say no, and we'd have to spend ages being all awkward and uncomfortable until things got back to normal. Or worse, what if things never got back to normal? I'd have to leave out of pure embarrassment." I paused to take a breath and he jumped in.

"What if I didn't say no?"


"What if I told you I loved you back?" He asked. I paused, uncertain. It wasn't something I had ever considered. It had always seemed like we were meant for unrequited love, or at least I was.

"I don't know. What would happen?" He didn't say anything for so long that I wondered if he was going to answer at all.

"Well," he said slowly. "I suppose that if you said you loved me, and I said I loved you back, then there would probably be some kissing. Yes, I would have to sweep you off your feet and kiss you."


"Oh, definitely." I was smiling then. It was a happy thought and somehow it wasn't at all uncomfortable to be talking like this. After all, it was just a dream, a little fanciful thought that we were elaborating and building on. It was just a game of make-believe.

"What would happen then?" I asked.

"Well, then I suppose I'd have to marry you."

"Marry me?! What, just like that? I love you, now marry me? That was quick. Would you have a ring on you then, or would we go shopping for one?"

"Of course I would have a ring on me, and why not just like that? We've been traveling together for ages now. We've managed not to kill each other so far. The only thing that would have to change is that we'd start sharing a room."

"I suppose so." I heard him shifting on the grass and I knew without having to look that he was turned towards me. "Where would we be getting married?" I asked, turning my head to look at him, trying to read his expression in the strange, red, half-light of the nebula.

"Paris is always beautiful. We could go there for the wedding, and I could take you anywhere in the galaxy for our honeymoon." Suddenly, it was half real. For a moment I almost stopped breathing. How had we gotten into this conversation? The words we were saying could change everything. They would bring us so much pain or so much joy. Which was it? I didn't know. I could barely think.

"What if I never said anything at all? What if we just went on like the people in the play? Everything would just stay the same, wouldn't it?"

"I suppose." I wished I could read his face, but it was so dark. Then, he turned away and looked back up at the stars. I did too. For a moment I thought the conversation was over, and I didn't know if I was thrilled or horrified.

"What if I told you I loved you.? What would you say?" His question caught me by surprise. I turned my head toward him for a second, then quickly looked back up. It wasn't a game any longer. Suddenly, my heart was in my throat. Did I dare say the words that were sitting on the tip of my tongue? How could I knowing what it might mean? How could I not? Time seemed to freeze and speed up in an instant. If I was going to speak it would have to be now, before the moment passed. Before he said…

"Well come on let's go. We have to leave if we want to get to the bazaar before the fireworks." He leapt up and began pulling me back to the TARDIS. He didn't stop chattering until we were inside and he had told me to go get dressed for some shopping. Still slightly stunned I did as he told me.

He's acted so normally since then that I really can't help but wonder if I did imagine it all. I sort of hope I did because if I didn't that means he's just acting normal. That would mean that I'd hurt him, and I never wanted to do that. Just in case though, I'll write down my answer: I love you too.

A/N: Okay, so it's a sad ending, what did you expect?:-) Please leave a review if you read this. If you don't, I will be very upset.