AN: hello there everyone, yes I'm back from the dead, it's amazing but true. So I actually had this chapter done about a week before, but not only did my internet modem decide to fail, but my computer completely crashed, so I have been running around trying to get everything fixed on top of uni, and then because its Easter holidays we decided to go away to a place without internet. I even tried sending it through McDonald's and their free wifi, but alas Maccas does not like fanfiction :( Yup that's how much I love you guys. So this chapter is sort of filler-like, but important in the long run, there is a little bit of kinky citrus in here, to make up for that. This is completely in EPOV, I'm thinking of keeping it to one perspective each chapter; tell me what you think, Hope you like xx
WARNING: this chapter contains some BDSM-like scenes
Chapter Eight: Euphoria and Honesty
I woke the next morning rejuvenated. I was happy, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't immediately feel the weight of the world against me. Yesterday had been dramatic, a rollercoaster of emotions, but I came out at the end literally glowing. I had told her I was falling in love with her, and she reciprocated. I mean, at first I felt like banging my head against the wall, I was so nervous it just sort of slipped out, but I needed to say it, I needed us both to acknowledge that these feelings were mutual. When I was around her I just felt like I didn't need to be a certain way, I just felt a sense of ease around her. It was her that impassioned me, and her that calmed me down. Sort of ironic some might say.
I didn't actually mean to call her so soon, but looking down at the back of my hands seeing the numbers, I couldn't not call her. It was disturbing to think I was turning into those clingy emotional types, or what Emmett likes to call 'em. A pussy. But I couldn't help it, I know it sounds corny and crap, but she makes me a better person, and I wanted to be a better person, I want to be happy.
I had gotten home to my little apartment, after almost backtracking back to her house twice, yes I realise it is sad and desperate, but I promise I wasn't actually going to bang on the door and demand she let me in, I was just going to park outside her house, just to feel close to her.
Yeah, coz that's not creepy at all…
Luckily my brain was useful enough in these situations and told me that I would see her tomorrow. As soon as I got home however, those numbers kept haunting me. Sure I had punched the numbers into my cell as soon as she had turned her back, but I could still see it there on my hand, burning like a beacon, and I knew I just had to call her. Even though it was extremely late, even though she was probably asleep, even if she didn't actually answer the phone, I just needed to hear her voice, even her voicemail would be enough to calm and settle me. So I rang, and she answered, and never in my wildest dreams did I think what happened last night would ever occur, would ever be true for me. I knew that now we had declared ourselves, I must tread carefully, I couldn't and wouldn't let my life repeat itself like Tanya, or Elizabeth, I just couldn't do that to my Bella. I just wanted to both of us to be happy.
Well you won't be a happy person if you don't get your lazy ass out of bed.
It was true, I had been lying in bed both hands supporting my head, staring at the ceiling basking in a sense of contentment, with the ever looming cloud of doubt, but of course my brain was making sense today, and I knew I had to get up if I wanted to at least glimpse Bella today.
I don't know why, but I dressed to impress, and I all round felt better. I looked at myself in the mirror before I left and concluded that I looked damn good, as opposed to the mess I had become for the last couple of weeks; my hair, while its usual messy look, looked somehow more lively and bright, but not out of control. Looking in the mirror, I understood what Emmett meant when he referred to my hair sometimes as "sex hair". I wore a light green shirt, with the first couple of buttons undone, and a pair of black slacks, both of which I had taken the time to tediously iron. I'll repeat, I looked damn good, I only hope Bella notices and can't keep her hands off me, ok ok, maybe not just yet, but a guy can hope right?
I got to school and I was opening doors for the elderly administration ladies, smiling at both students and teachers alike, even Emmett stopped me on my way to class and asked if I had gotten laid, which I laughed and shrugged off.
On a more serious note, Emmett told me that Bella would be entering his class, and that she was transferring out, and that she had made a specific point to make this possible. I was a little hurt at first, but I knew that this was the way it had to be. She had given me her number on the condition that I not teach her, god it sounded so fucked up, and the fact that it made me so happy was even more fucked, but I guess I was just bound to be fucked, I just hoped that this would help me achieve the closure I needed.
I walked down the hall to approach my first class, and I passed Bella. She seemed slightly out of it, a little sad and a little confused, I as tried to approach her, her eyes flashed to mine as a warning. I was going to stop and greet her and say hi, see if she was alright, but she smiled and gave a slight shake of her head mouthing 'later.' I understood, even though I really wanted to stop her and scoop her into my arms and thank god that I had found her, even if we were just "friends," I seriously think nothing can bring me down today. However, before she walked off, she did give me the up-down if you know what I mean, and started biting her lip, rousing my cock from its sad position. I needed to get away before people started noticing my hard on, in the hallway full of students.
I walked into my classroom, thankful that I had first period off, to mark papers and just bask in the joys of love and happiness, something that hadn't happened in almost 3 years.
I opened the draw to my desk to pull out the papers that needed to be graded, and my eyes lingered on my favourite tie that was lying underneath the papers. Suddenly flashes of a certain memory involving that tie and Bella, invaded my senses and I couldn't help but feel extremely aroused. My dick was now fully awake and straining against the zipper of my pants, I let out a long breath debating whether to take care of this, seeing as I had time, or to stop daydreaming of Bella and burn the tie and not look at her for another five months.
Obviously I chose the former. I quickly hurried to the door to my office, locking the door and pulling the blinds over the windows. I leaned back in my chair, getting myself comfortable and prepped, unzipping my jeans and allowing the movement of removing my boxers to graze the top of my dick, letting out a low harsh breath. God how I needed this, I wouldn't be able to survive any longer without relieving the tension.
I remembered that time clearly, only this time: I was in control.
Bella was kneeling on my bedroom floor completely naked. Her head was hung low, and her hair was fanned around her frame, just touching the tips of her hardened rosy nipples at the front. I walked into the room with a confident stance, demanding her attention. I stood before her and called her name softly, she looked up, her doe eyes piercing mine, pleading to be able to serve me, and only me. I told her to take off my pants and boxers. She rose up to her knees and unbuckled the belt, and undid the button. She slowly pulls the zipper down tooth by tooth, only to lightly stroke my dick through the barrier of my boxers. Soon that is off as well, and I ask her if she wants me to fuck her mouth, and I almost come undone, when she replies, "What ever would please my Master." I tell her to open her mouth, and she opens wide, while pumping down my shaft to grasp at the base, before I thrust into her warm wet mouth.
I grasped at my dick, spreading the precum leaking from the tip all over myself, oh god it felt so fucking good.
"Fuck Bella, suck my dick, feel it in your mouth, I know how much you love it when I fuck your mouth, I can feel you moaning around me as I pound into you, I know you love it." I screamed out, as I neared my climax, and her moaning around my dick didn't help matters none, but I didn't want to come in her mouth, I wanted to come in my pussy, so I decided I would reward her for getting me this far, as well as calming down, so I didn't come as soon as I entered her pussy.
I pulled her mouth from my dick, harshly telling her to bend over the end of my bed. I followed her, whispering into her ear from behind,
"You must remain silent Bella, you must not make a sound unless I say you can, do you understand? You may speak,"
I dropped to the ground behind her, letting my fingers run along her slit, god she was fucking soaked.
"You're so wet Bella, you loved every minute of that, and now I'm going to suck you dry,"
without further ado, my mouth joined my fingers teasingly along her slit, my tongue circled the outskirts of her clit, while my fingers teased her tight pink hole. I could almost feel her whimpering with frustration, and need she was shaking so badly. Suddenly, I sucked in her clit, nibbling ever so slightly, and my fingers plunged into her hole, pumping relentlessly. Within a few pumps I had her tightening around my fingers as her climax overtook her. In one hoarse groan she yelled my name, breaking the code of silence. She almost slumped forward on the bed, if not for the harsh slap I laid on her pussy. That made her whimper aloud again.
"Did I tell you, you could say my name Bella? Answer me"
"Well then I think you deserve a little punishment, count them"
I aimed to spank her 5 times to remember her place, and arouse her even further, I wasn't going to spank her hard.
Slap on her pussy
"Uhh," she groaned
"Count" I demanded
"O-one," she whimpered
Slap on her ass
"Two," she cried out in pleasure
"Four, please Edward"
At these words, my dick jumped, I couldn't wait to feel her inside of me.
Slap on her pussy
"Five, oh god"
Fuck my dick was at attention again, and she could feel it behind her, as I allowed him to settle in her ass.
"Did you deserve that Bella?"
"Yes Master, I was a bad girl, punish me more," she pleaded while smiling and winking at me.
I pushed her back down, to get her into position again. My hand leaned down to touch her slit once more, and she was absolutely drenched, god I couldn't hold off I had to have her now.
"Are you ready for me Bella?"
"Yes, Master, only to please you"
I thrust into her, moaning out loud at the feeling of being engulfed by her pussy. I slowly started pounding into her, asking her what she needed from me,
"Harder, Faster, Deeper, oh please Edward"
I started going faster, and she couldn't stop moaning, and I felt myself nearing the edge, and I leaned forward cupping her breasts in my hands, tweaking at her swollen nipples, because whispering seductively in her ear,
"God you feel so good Bella, come for me, please baby, I need to feel you come around my cock."
I felt her pussy tighten impossibly around me, and I fell off the ledge, screaming out her name along with a string of profanities illustrating the intensity of the orgasm.
At this last thought, it became too much, and like my fantasy, I fell off that ledge, as pleasure coursed through my veins right to the tips of my fingers, my eyes rolled into the back of my head, and I groaned out Bella's name hoarsely, struggling to keep myself quiet.
I lay back enjoying the bliss of my orgasm as my breathing returned back to normal, and I realised rather belated that I had to clean myself up.
I picked up the box of tissues cleaning myself up. I couldn't help but imagine Bella's mouth cleaning me up instead and I almost went into round two.
The shrill ring of my phone interrupted my fantasy, fuck I had to get this out of my head for the time being. I quickly zipped myself back up and placed the tissues in the bin next to my desk.
"Edward? Honey I haven't heard from you in ages, why haven't you called me, I was starting to worry."
"I'm sorry Esme I've just been busy, don't you worry about me." I disregarded her happily
Even Esme couldn't spoil my good mood, and she obviously noticed it in my voice
"Edward you seem happy today, how are you going? Have you met anyone special?"
I shouldn't tell her, it would be bad if I did, but the excitement to tell someone who would actually be happy, was too much for me, plus my post coital haze made everything a good idea.
"Esme, I-I've, err... yes I've met someone," I replied bashfully, yet enthusiastically.
"Edward that is fantastic, who is she when do I get to meet her? Tell me all about her," the excitement and overwhelming sense of pride in Esme's voice almost made the painful ache in my gut seem trivial, but I knew that Esme would not be able to meet Bella for at least another 5-6 months, and she might be horrified at the turn of events, but I still wanted to tell her, I wanted someone to share the happy news with.
"She's beautiful, she's funny and she's smart and caring and kind," my voice rose with gusto, " and her hair smells like strawberries, and she wants to be an English teacher like me, and she understands me and makes me happy, and," I paused and quietly admitted to Esme, "I think I might be in love with her."
Esme was silent. Silent for almost too long, before she squealed and giggled like a teenage girl saying hello to her first crush.
"Oh Edward honey, I'm so happy for you, I'd love to meet her, you should bring her over one day soon so we can meet her, god knows how long its been since I've had anyone other than Carlisle and myself"
How to explain this… she's actually my student, so it might be against regulations to openly admit that I'm having a relationship with a student. Oh and don't let me forget, this isn't really a relationship, just my wishful thinking, that this might turn into a relationship, because who ever said you'd date the person you were falling in love with? I should stop thinking like this, I was just…happy that we still had a form of contact, I mean I was technically allowed to have a student's number for emergency purposes, but I'm pretty sure what we were doing wasn't of any urgency…at least not to anything above the waist
"err…Esme, well its very new, I think it's a little early for that," I quietly said uncomfortably. I think she understood that it wouldn't be for a little while before she would meet the "mystery girl" much to my relief, although the growing tension from the silence on the phone was something left to be desired. I think Esme must have realised I was getting uncomfortable, so she decided it was time to end our compulsory weekly chats, that always seemed to end with her insisting I come visit.
"Well it was nice talking to you Edward honey, but I'm sure you've got teenagers to teach, why don't you-"
"No Esme, I'm not coming to the house this weekend,"
And just like that the room turned cold and harsh, or was it just me?
I heard Esme sigh on the other end, "Alright Edward, it was nice talking to you."
I hung up quickly, not bothering to reply and leaned back in my chair and sighed.
Esme meant well, but I don't think she realised how hard it was for me to see her and Carlisle in their bright warm home, looking in each other's eyes lovingly, when I know that I destroyed that part of my family, that I couldn't walk in their home, without seeing their tortured faces, and remember the deep seeded hurt and confusion I felt when my mother told me she wasn't coming back. Suddenly the loud booming that could only come from Emmett's mouth broke through my melancholic haze.
"Eddie boy how are you my man? Now I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I heard you got a new woman you big pussy"
Oh fuck. Deer in the headlights. Stunned Mullet. Gobsmacked. All of these could describe my expression, when he said that. What do I say? I decided to be as truthful as possible; I had always sucked at lying to Emmett.
"Err…yeah, well not really, its more like, I like her, and I think she likes me?"
"We gotta to change that Eddie boy, stop being so chicken shit, man up you pussy. Anyway so who is this girl?" ah… this is where it gets tricky
"Well Emmett, I don't think you know her, she's training to be an English teacher like us, fairly short, brown hair, full lips, pale skin," oh fuck why did I say that? Cover it up! ,"like your classic girl next door you know what I mean? She goes to UW."
I hoped he missed my slip. I waited baited breath, praying beyond hope that he had missed all the signs, and accepted my little lie, but of course when Emmett was silent, it never meant good things for me. Ever.
I saw him finally piece it together in his head, before he shot up to look at me through his narrowed eyes,
"Long brown hair, full lips and pale skin? That sounds an awful lot like Bella, doesn't it Edward? Is it a coincidence that your dream girl you are describing bares an uncanny resemblance to a former student of yours? And Bella is applying for UW, isn't she? I remember you telling me about it."
"Emmett, we're just friends, we talk, is it a crime to talk?"
"No, but it might be a crime to fuck her and fall in love with her," he stated blatantly, before continuing, "and don't try and tell me it didn't happen, because I know it did."
"I promise you Em, nothing is happening with us, and nothing is going to happen apart from my balls turning blue until she graduates."
"And what then Edward? You follow her to college, almost like a stalker, where she is a freshman, living in the dorms, and you could be her professor? Where she is too busy to socialize and find real friends, because she is tending to you?"
I tried to cut in, but he kept on going,
"And what about Tanya or Elizabeth, have you told her the full story on either of those two? Or even Esme and Carlisle for that matter? Were you ever planning on telling her about them?"
My good mood had since evaporated and I let out a long low sigh. This was something that needed to be battled with, needed to be done if I ever wanted to move forward with Bella. I suddenly felt overwhelmed, and listened to Emmett, unsure what to do.
"Look man, you're tearing me apart here. I won't say that I support it, but I'm not going to condemn you for it either, but so you know, your secret is safe with me. I'm half hoping that this doesn't work out, but I hope to god for your sake it does, because I can see how happy she makes you. Dude, you need to tell her about Tanya and Elizabeth, you can't move forward unless that happens. You need someone to share the guilt and the weight of those worries, even as a "friendship" as you guys say, and she needs to know what she's getting herself into in the long run," he said as he rolled his eyes, "just think about it Edward."
Silence had settled on the room, and I knew I really had to think over Emmett's words. It was true she would be living on campus, like all freshmen's she would want to party and socialise like a normal teenager, while I would stay away holed up marking exam papers. Could I really allow her to sacrifice all of that for me, her teacher?
Suddenly the end of lunch bell rang, and Emmett walked toward the door, raising his hand to gesture goodbye and that he needed to go to class, and I realised this would be one of the first times without Bella in this class. At that moment, a solution became blindingly obvious, a solution that would either break me or make me.
I needed to tell her about everything. It had to be her decision.
AN: like? I hope you all did like, so next chapter will be the revealing of Tanya and Elizabeth, amongst other things and Bella has to make the decision. Let me know what you thought, or any thoughts really I love to hear from you all.