Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight…
A/N: Sequel to Bridges…lots more angst….picks right up where I left it in Bridges… same pov schedule… I was going to wait until I woke up tomorrow, but I really suck at withholding chapters and I felt so terrible leaving it like that…and title of chap is more to do with how Carlisle's feeling (Broken – Lifehouse - Love them) Read. Enjoy. Review…
Chapter One – Broken
Dr. Carlisle Cullen
I couldn't have moved if I had wanted to as I called out for Bella again, even though I had heard the truck jetting out of the driveway. It was as if she had ripped my heart from my chest and thrown it into the blender. I set Carter down in his basinet and pulled out my cell phone, pressing it right into my ear as I dialed Bella. She ignored my call, as I had expected her to, but I left her a message.
"Hey, Bella," I said not quite sure what I should say, "I love you, call me when you get this, just please, I don't know what's wrong, and I'm sorry, we need to talk… Alright, call me ok? Love you."
I hung up and then dialed Rosalie as quickly as possible, knowing the timing of this was important.
"Uncle Carlisle?" Rosalie said skeptically as she answered.
"Hey, Rose, I need you to come home and watch Carter," I said, settling him in and heading to the kitchen to make sure that there would be enough bottles in there.
"Is everything ok?" She asked, noting my panicking voice as I shut the fridge.
"No," I said and she sighed as I heard her car door slam and she got into her car
"Ok, be right there," said Rosalie and I hung up and walked back into the living room where I looked in on Carter and he was smiling, my heart was already broken, but this just tore it apart.
Rosalie burst through the door as I lifted Carter out of his basinet and carried him over to the bouncy seat in the corner. He was too young to be able to actually bounce in it, but it worked nicely as a chair for him and I handed him a small toy, which he had just discovered he could hold. Then I reached for my car keys and headed for the door.
"What's going on?" Rosalie asked as I handed Carter to her, "Where's Bella?"
"Not sure," I replied as I raced out the door, adding in a yell over my shoulder, "Thank you!"
"Ok," said Rosalie as she shut the door behind me and I ran to the Mercedes.
I was speeding down the road towards town when I realized that I had no idea where Bella would have gone. I drove in circles for a while, trying Bella again on her cell phone, this time leaving a more worried message before hanging up and heading to Charlie's, thinking that, of anyone in town, it would be Charlie's that she would go. Other than Angela's but Angela was away at school in Florida. I pulled into Charlie's driveway and looked at the clock, which stated that it was six thirty, a half hour had passed since Bella had left. She wouldn't still be here, but maybe he had seen her. Maybe she had at least told him where she was going.
"Carlisle?" Charlie said questioning as he came to the door and I was standing on the front step.
"Yeah, have you seen Bella?" I asked, "She left about a half hour ago, she was really upset…"
"What'd you do?"
"Nothing, she just left," I said and Charlie nodded as he opened the door and motioned for me to come in.
"C'mon in," said Charlie, in an annoyingly calm voice.
"No, Charlie, if you haven't seen her, I go to go…" I said, "I have to find her…"
"Trust me, you wanna come in, Carlisle," said Charlie in an odd demeanor which made me follow him into the house, like he knew exactly what was going on, "You want some coffee."
"No," I said, I didn't want any, didn't need it, even if I felt like risking my life with Charlie's coffee, "Just tell me what's going on."
"Take a seat," said Charlie and I did, "It's called Post Partum depression. Renee had it, it's not always known why it comes around, it just happens. The first time Renee left it was because of that, I keep beating myself up, one of the possible causes is lack of support, and well- you don't have to worry about that, but I did…"
It all clicked in my head as Charlie rambled on, all the signs had been there for a few days now, how had I not realized? I was instantly enraged with myself, how could I have let this slip? How could I fail to notice that somebody who meant so much to me was slipping? I had to get to her, she would be upset and hurt and I needed to make her feel better. I stood up.
"Where're you goin?" Charlie asked and I just looked at him like he was crazy.
"I'm going to find Bella," I said.
"Don't. Let her take some space, she'll call, I'm surprised she hasn't already," said Charlie, "Renee called every night the first time, and she wasn't even in love with me, though it's true Bella was here. Most of the time it was to check up on her – Anyways, Carter needs you, at least wait until the morning, Rosalie has school on Monday, and then who's going to watch Carter while your off chasing Bella?"
Man made a valid point, but I didn't say a word as I left the house, pushing my phone to my ear as I jumped in the Mercedes. I tried calling Bella but this time it didn't even ring, as I headed back to the house. I got there and Rosalie was waiting up for me, she had put Carter to bed, but she said he was crying a lot.
"Alright," I said.
"What's going on Uncle Carlisle?" Rosalie asked, "Where's Bella?"
"She left," I said with a sigh as I headed upstairs to where Carter was sleeping, for the time being.
"What?!" said Rosalie as she followed me up the stairs, "Why the hell would she do that? What the hell is wrong with her? Were you a jerk?"
"No," I said as I went into the room that Bella and I had shared, and wheeled out Carter's basinet, no way I would be able to sleep in there, "Bella's got Post Partum Depression."
"What's that?" said Rosalie as she sat down on the bed in the guest room where I had wheeled Carter, where I would 'sleep' that night.
"It's a form of depression that effects women after they have their babies," I said, deciding to go with the simple definition.
"Oh." Said Rosalie, "Is she going to be ok?"
"I hope so," I said as I picked the now awake and just about to cry Carter out of his basinet and into my arms.
"Well where is she?" Rosalie asked.
"I don't know," I said as I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed Renee, "Hey Renee…"
"I haven't heard from her," she said immediately, "Charlie just called and asked me if she had called and she hasn't, I'm trying her cell now."
"Alright, but I think it's off," I said and I hung up, cuddling Carter into my chest where he liked to sleep, and then I turned to Rosalie, "Do you have Angela's number?"
"Yeah, I'll dial her," said Rosalie and she took out her cell phone, dialed Angela, and then handed me the phone.
"Rosalie?" Angela answered questioningly, clearly Rosalie didn't call her too often.
"No, it's Carlisle, has Bella called you?" I asked, desperate, Angela was my last hope.
"Post partum depression," I said it as if it was one word, tired of repeating it.
"Oh," said Angela, her voice solemn, "Yeah I'll call you if she does, ok?"
"All right," I said with a sigh as I sat down on the edge of my bed.
"I've seen her with you and the baby Carlisle, she'll come around, she loves you both with like everything she's got," said Angela, trying to comfort me.
"Yeah," I said tiredly as I set Carter down on the middle of the bed, "Call me if she calls you or anything, ok?"
"No problem," said Angela and I hung up.
I laid down on the bed as I went to hand Rosalie back her phone as I picked Carter up and placed him on my chest in preparation for the first sleepless night since I had met Bella, but Rosalie just handed the phone back to me.
"Angela might call back," said Rosalie, "I'll get it from you in the morning."
"Thanks, Rosalie," I said, rubbing in a circle on Carter's back to get him to fall back to sleep.
"No problem, wake me up if Bella or somebody calls," said Rosalie and I nodded as she left the room.
I laid there for hours, just staring at the ceiling, worried all night about Bella. My eyes were just starting to slip shut with exhaustion at around two in the morning when Rosalie's phone on the bedside table rang, waking me and Carter up, but he didn't cry, thankfully as I reached over and answered it.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hey," came a whisper, "It's Angela, she got here a few hours after you called but I had to wait until she fell asleep to call you. She's really upset, she turned her phone off and she was worried about you, and she was worried about Carter, but she just about cried herself to sleep a few minutes ago. But, she's safe and she's crashing here at the dorm with me."
"Thanks," I said.
"No problem," said Angela, then she disconnected the call.
Waves of relief went through me as I stood up and went to tell Rosalie. At least she was safe, and that had been my biggest concern.